Fran Lez Corrections

P7 - Fran's sickening girl on girl action

*most of these just assume the PC is a girl since they don't have a dick. I'm not bothering with genderless stuff.

//PC and Fran's first time; PC has no dick.

You start to caress Fran's cheek with the back of your hand, causing her to blush, and she gently touches her hand to yours. You ask Fran if you can have sex with her. Her red eyes dart away from your gaze as her expression grows more and more nervous. "D-do you... like me?"

[Yes] .tooltip = Yes, you like her.

[No] .tooltip = No. You don't love her. She likely won't take this well at all.

//Player says yes to love.

You pull Fran into a tender embrace, pressing your lips to hers. She wraps her pale arms around you, returning (the embrace //repetition, try:"your affections" or "the hug") hesitantly. She is clearly nervous, you can feel her heart beating in her chest at what feels like the speed of the rabbits whose blood she seems (so) fond of. After what feels like an eternity of kissing the childish vampire's soft lips, you separate and tell her that you do care about her, maybe (you //remove) even love her. You know you at least want to be with her.

She lays her head against your chest and whispers, "I love you so much. When I first met you, I was so lonely and scared. I didn't want to be alone anymore, so I tried talking to you. I thought maybe you could help me. You were my hope. Then you kept visiting me... and now we're here. Together... I miss my sister. But, when I'm with you, I think maybe I can live without her for at least a while... Someday, I hope can introduce you to Cia."

You tell her you'd like to meet her elder sibling and will keep looking for Cia so they can be reunited. Fran quickly presses her lips to yours and you lift her up and carry her (bridal style > bridal-style) to your cozy tent.

[Next]

You open the flaps to your tent (no comma) and gently lay Fran down onto your bedding. She looks at you and asks with a stutter, "[P-Player], W-what are we going to do on the bed? I... Uwa... C-can girls... (L-love > l-love) girls?"

You chuckle at her question and explain (things //sounds awkward, suggestion:"everything") to her [if PC dressed: then strip off your [Clothes]]. Fran nods her head at your explanation and asks, "B-but, how do we have b-babies?" You explain (how > that) sex isn't always for babies, going into some details, [If Fran dressed: as you strip off Fran's clothes] and (you //remove) can't help but feel eager to show her the pleasures of sex.

You kiss Fran's lips and (pushes > push) her legs apart slowly, exposing her tender quim. As you continue (you > to) press your mouth to Fran's, (comma) you begin running your fingers teasingly along her slit. (Her body > She //to avoid repetition with the later part) quickly quivers in response to the pleasure you're visiting upon her inexperienced body.

She thrusts her hips upward (no comma) as you begin to push your finger inside her(, she's > . She's) so tight you can only fit one. Fran pulls her mouth away from yours and moans out, "[Player]! I-it feels g-good, r-really good!"

You take her hand and put it to your [vagina], telling Fran (how //remove) that you want some, (comma) too. She gulps audibly and begins pushing her fingers in and out of your body. The two of you finger each other, trying to feel out each other's sweet spots. You find Fran's first, (comma) of course, as she shouts loudly, "W-wah! R-right there, i-it's too much!" You lick your lips impatiently, pressing and caressing her favorite spot roughly, ignoring her cries. "I-it's coming [Player]!" she whines, (with //remove) her body suddenly shuddering.

You can feel her fingers piston in and out of you erratically at this point, making your [hips] (wiggle //I laughed at that mental image, consider "shake") with her movements (and > as //just a suggestion, sounds better) you (groan her name with need //somewhat awkward here, reword to "needily groan her name"). Despite her fingers not having any skill to them, they seem to be hitting the all spots you love unintentionally. Suddenly, Fran's insides clench around your skilled fingers, and yours (tightens > tighten) around her enthusiastic ones as you both (shout, <i>"I'm cumming!"</i> simultaneously //I know it's cute, but two things: first, it's highly unlikely you both shout the exact same thing here, second, you just gave direct speech to the PC. Suggestion: "reach your peaks simultaneously").

You collapse on top of Fran, the two if you panting, as your [chest] is pressed against her [flat/B-cup/DD-cup/G-cup] boobs. The two of you share another passionate kiss, sucking on each other's tongues till (Fran's > Fran) breaks the kiss, (with //remove) a satisfied look on her face.

"[P-player]... I love you, so p-please stay with me... (For > for) as long as you can(." she says this > ," she says) in an exhausted voice (no comma) as you climb off her, (comma) choosing to lay next to her in your bed.

You then pull Fran close to you, holding her tightly in a loving embrace as the two of you drift off to a peaceful and satisfied sleep.

[Next]

//Player says no to love.

You tell Fran you don't love her; (You > you //semicolon is not a fullstop) just wanted to have sex, you wouldn't necessarily call what you feel for her love. Her expression changes from hopeful to one that can only be described as hurt.

She (moves //too neutral a term for this, you want something that says more, suggestion:"flinches") away from you and shakes her head, (comma) tears welling in the edges of her crimson eyes, as she puts her hands over her mouth.

"I... I need to leave... I'm sorry." She runs off faster than you expected her to, wiping her face as she flees as far away from (the only other person besides her sister, that she held affection for //careful here, the narrator is not all-knowing in CoC. If you have to make claims like that, precede them with something like a "perhaps" or "probably").

You have a feeling that she won't be back, (comma) now that you've said that. (It was honestly how you felt the truth hurts sometimes. //sounds awkward, needs a slight change:"But it was honestly how you felt. The truth hurts sometimes.")

*Fran has left your camp permanently*

[Next]

//Fran and PC lesbo sex menu stuff; requires PC to not have penis; must have a Vag;

You pull Fran close to you, her face pressed against your [Chest]. "Ah, hey! [P-player]." You kiss Fran's pale neck and tell her you want to have sex with her."I-I do... I want to have sex with you too. It felt really good last time(. > ,)" she says with a smile (no comma) on her blushing face.

[scissor] .tooltip = scissor Fran.

[69 with Fran] .tooltip = Eat each other out.

[Master servant RP] .tooltip = Have sex with Fran in her cloak.

[back] .tooltip = You changed your mind.

//PC scissors Fran

You gently lift her up, planning to bring her to your tent. "Uwa, I can walk( you, > , you) know?" Despite her saying that, she still wraps her arms around your neck as you walk over to your tent carrying your devoted vampire in your arms. You open the flaps and (gently) lay her down (gently //remove) onto your bedding.

You look down at Fran's slim body (no comma) as she looks back at you lustfully. She takes a deep breath and tells you, "I'm ready for you, so let's do lots of naughty stuff, okay?" You nod to her and [if pc is dressed: strip off your clothes( then, > , then)] grab Fran's (hairless //she's a young girl, is it really necessary to mention that?) leg lightly. You begin to place kisses, (comma) starting from the calf, slowly working your way upward to her thigh. Fran bites her lip as you push her legs apart and continue on your path till you finally plant a firm kiss on her dampened love hole.

Fran grabs the top of your head gently and moans out, "[P-player]! Y-you're t-teasing me!" You grip her thighs firmly, then flick your wet tongue along Fran's narrow hole. One lick, two licks, you keep going as Fran's voice grows unsteady and she moans out even louder. Suddenly, you stop and wipe her love fluids from your mouth, then she whines out to you, "W-why'd you stop! I-it was so good! P-please!" You shush her and put your legs between hers and start to rub your [vagina] against Fran's trembling lower lips.

She eagerly rubs back against you, trying to desperately match your movements as she yells, "I love you, [Player]! I love you, I love you, I love you!" She unexpectedly bites on her lips as if trying to silence her shouts of devotion.

You groan her name multiple times, (comma) assuring her of your mutual pleasure, as your [vagina] shudders and your sticky fluids mix with Fran's nectar. You know both of you will hit your peaks soon, and speed things up, the smell of your sweat (no comma) and sexual fluids mixing into a (thick smelling //not entirely sure what you were trying to say here. "thick, smelling"? in that case, "thick, smelly" though that's pretty negative, so rather "thick, pungent", or did you mean "thick-smelling"? I wouldn't use it that way) aphrodisiac in the air of your tent.

With one last, (comma) hard grind against each other, (comma) you and Fran achieve your respective climaxes in unison. You watch as Fran throws her head back while moaning something incoherently, her (whole-body > whole body //here it is again, that strange "whole-body" where did you get that idea from?) shuddering as she squirts on you. Your climax wasn't as big as hers, but you still can't stop your body from shaking in the (after math > aftermath) of it, your [tongue] hanging from your mouth as you pant.

As you watch Fran's chest rise and fall you crawl into the spot next to her, then pull her close to you. She tells you sleepily, "I-I'm really... (Tired > tired) now... [Player]." You nod to her and close your eyes.

You hear Fran say one more (thing > time //"thing" is not a word you want to use often, outside of "something" or "anything", so try to substitute it if you can) quietly, "I love you."

With that, the two of you (then //remove) fall asleep, (comma) embracing each other.

[Next]

//PC 69's Fran.

You gently take Fran's hand into (your > yours) and lead her to a more private spot in your camp. [If Pc is dressed: You give Fran a wink and start to strip off your [clothes] seductively, shaking your [butt] a bit at her as you wiggle out of them.] Fran takes a deep breath and asks, "S-so we're going to do some naughty stuff, huh?" [If Fran is dressed: you then watch as she strips off her clothes with a blush on her childish face.]

You lay on the ground and gesture for Fran to get on top of you, so that her butt is facing you. She (of course //that commentary is unneeded, I'd remove it) complies, though she doesn't seem to understand your intentions, (since she has //remove) her head tilted (a bit //remove) in a confused fashion.

You tell Fran you want her to lick your [pussy](, then she > . She //better to separate your command and her action in this case) moves her head between your legs (no comma //though comma would be right if you ignore the previous suggestion) and you can feel her hot breath on your slit. The anticipation is killing you as you pull Fran's cute ass towards your face as you start licking her quim vigorously. Fran (let's > lets) out small gasps, getting the idea of what you wanted. She hesitantly begins rubbing her tongue along her [pussy], tasting your juices on her tongue. You raise your hips to the sensation of her mouth, somewhat losing focus on pleasuring her.

Fran lightly caresses your thighs (no comma) as you shudder and shiver in response to her mouth slobbering on your (all too eager > all-too-eager) hole. You yell (Fran's > her //too many "Fran" in this paragraph already) name as you hit your orgasm( and feel > , leaving you //too awkward, you want to create a bit of pause usually between the orgasm and any following action) completely out of breath. You watch as Fran sits up and looks back at you (no comma) while wiggling her petite butt with a pout on her face.

You (lay > lie) there, (comma) still rather tired, as she licks her lips clean of your juices and shakes her butt (more //remove) at you some more. She tires of trying to give you any hints and whines( while she says > , saying), "H-hey, w-what about my turn?"

[Too tired] .tooltip = Tell Fran you're too tired.

[Give her pleasure] .tooltip = Make her cum.

//PC too tired

You tell Fran (how > that) you're just too tired. She climbs off you, then lays her head down on top of your [chest]. You think she might be a bit upset at first, (comma) based on her pouting face, but she (cuddles with > snuggles up to) you, then asks, "Did you feel good?" You nod, and she closes her eyes while a smile slowly spreads across her face. You then hear her whisper under her breath, "Then Fran is happy (no comma) that [Player] felt good. Try and make Fran feel good too next time, okay?"

The two of you fall asleep out in the open, (comma) cuddling, (comma) while enjoying each other's warm embrace.

[Next]

//PC gives her pleasure

You pull her ass suddenly back onto your face and furiously taste her hole with your [tongue]. Roughly, (comma) you tease her clit as she begins to grind her ass against your face( as if > , //it's pretty sure she's actually desperate for more) desperate for more pleasure. You hear her moan out your name (no comma) and (you //just to clarify she's not spanking herself) give her butt a slap, (comma) making her gasp, and she shouts, "F-Fran isn't a bad girl! D-don't spank me!" She quivers as you (spank > hit //repetition) her rear again, (comma) making her cry out even louder in a mix of pleasure and pain.

You wiggle (your tongue //remove to avoid repetition with the following part) around inside her pussy, tasting her love nectar on your [tongue], and she begins to shake all over, (comma) shouting, "[P-Player]! I-it's coming! I-I'm..." She throws her head back (no comma) as her fluids completely cover your face, (comma) making it all sticky. She collapses on top of you, unable to support her weight as she pants. You quickly notice she seems to have actually (no comma) passed out. You move her light body (from on top > off) of yours, so that she's lying down next to you in the grass, then you wrap your arms tightly around her.

You guess (the pleasure > it //it's clear that she passed out from her orgasm) was just too much for her, and decide to spend some time (no comma) kissing her neck and cuddling with her in the afterglow. You notice she has a smile spread across her sleeping face.

[Next]

//PC does master servant play; PC has no penis version.

You kiss Fran and ask her if she'd be interested in doing lewd things while pretending to be the dark lord again. Fran gives you a slight giggle and nods her head happily. "You'll pretend to be the hero who'll become my servant, right?" she asks (you //remove) in a playful tone. You shrug, (comma) supposing that works fine. [If Fran isn't wearing the cloak: With childlike glee, (comma) she runs off to get changed (into her silky black cloak //remove to avoid repetition), then comes back wearing just the (silky, black //if you took the previous suggestion and want that descriptor back) cloak and a smirk on her pale face.] She clears her throat and (then //remove) shouts, "Muhhahaha! The dark lord has arrived, mortal! If you beg for your life, I'll allow you to be my ever-faithful servant!" Her black cloak flows behind her as you tell her you'll never submit to her and she'll pay for her misdeeds!

She lets out a laugh, "Fuufufufu! You're powerless to stop me!" She then pushes you down, so you land on your [butt] with a thump as she looks down at you. You start to feel her press her foot to your crotch, rubbing your pussy with her tiny feet. In response to the sensation you start to get wet [If pc is dressed: through your [clothes],] which Fran notices and gives you a naughty smirk. You hear her laugh and she asks you teasingly, "Are you getting turned on by the dark lord's little girl feet, hero? Well, are you? How <i>naughty</i>!"

You start to stammer out a reply and she wiggles a finger at you as she tells you, "Naughty (hero's > heroes) get a punishment!" Fran [if pc dressed: strips off your clothes and] flips you onto your back, then (she //remove) gives your [butt] an audible slap. You gasp (no comma) as she beats on your ass, (comma) smacking it till it has her red handprint on it.

You groan as Fran flips you back over so you're lying on your sore rear. You gasp and instinctively raise your hips in the air as Fran shoves her face between your legs, eating your hole out as if she was starving. You can feel her tongue tease your clit roughly, and she grips your thighs tightly as you try to thrust your hips upwards even more, so you can rub your needy [pussy] against her teasing tongue desperate for more pleasure.

With a loud groan, (comma) you achieve sweet release (no comma) and your body is covered in sweat as Fran pulls away, (comma) licking her lips clean of your (pussy nectar > pussy-nectar). You hear her say ominously, "All too easy, (comma) mortal! You're mine now. You'll be my servant... (My > my) toy... (My > my) lover... Whatever I wish for, (comma) you'll provide, and now..."

You look at her( tried > , tired,) as she climbs on top of you with a hungry look in her eyes. You expect her to go for more sex, but instead she kisses your lips, passionately sucking on your tongue.

She eventually breaks the kiss, (comma) leaving a strand of spit between the two of you as she says, "I'll take care of you for all eternity, so stay by my side. My hero."

With that she gets off you and stretches her body out, then tells you, "That was fun, (comma) [Player]! I feel really... I don't know. It's like I'm full? I don't really get it. Anyway, want to bathe with me?"

You shake your head, way too tired to move. Fran gives you a shrug and runs off to the stream nearby.
You eventually sit up and wonder what to do next.

[Next]

//Player clicks Back

You pull back from her warm body and tell Fran that you've actually changed your mind. Her red eyes shoot wide open and her pale face quickly flushes even redder. "U-uwa! You're such a meanie... I forgive you though... Um, don't wait too long, okay?" You tell her maybe next time.

[Goes back to previous menu]