Dick in a Box (Cadence)

Part I

>Okay, breathe Anonymous.
>You make an enormous show of taking a deep breath, an exhausted almost sigh like sound escaping your lips as you exhale.
>Here you are, standing in front of the Crystal Palace, with ponies jostling by you to get a place inside for the celebration of the year
>Princess Mi Amore Cadenza’s Birthday Bash
>And you’re just waiting around outside when it’s almost expected that you attend.
>Right, just start by putting one foot in front of the other.
>Squaring your shoulders, you begin walking up the steep steps spiraling skyward.
>You weren’t quite sure how you got the invite, especially considering your history with Princess Cadence.
>Your first encounter was far from perfect.
>You harassed her endlessly about anything that came to mind.
>Her mane.
>Her coat.
>The fact that her tiara looks like a cardboard cutout.
>And then she’d been revealed as a Princess.
>Whoops.
>Thankfully, she’d taken it all in stride.
>If you could consider her pulling pranks on you in retaliation ‘in stride’.
>You’re still trying to get chunks of bubblegum out of your clothes from the last prank.
>Sure, the two of you had fun, but aside from relentlessly harassing one another you didn’t ever spend much time together outside of that.
>So, when you got the invite, you came up with this brilliant plan.
>Without a doubt, she’s going to try and prank you.
>That’s just how she is.
>That just means you need to have a superior prank in place.
>And boy, do you ever!
>Despite the fact that your nerves are frayed, you give the box held at your waist a small shake.



>Your junk jiggles gently against the bottom of the cardboard, a chill sliding up your spine as it touches the cooler material.
>Crystal ponies continue to push by you, climbing up the stairs in droves.
>You begin to sweat again as you take notice of exactly how many ponies there are around you.
>A quick look over your shoulder shows that they’re still coming.
>Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.
>Even a brilliant prank has to take collateral damage into account, and being the guy who left his dick drifting in the breeze isn’t exactly how you want to be remembered for the rest of eternity.
>Swallowing the lump in your throat, you pause after entering the enormous doors of the palace.
>Most of the other ponies don’t seem to have brought gifts.
>Maybe you could just slip away and get rid of the box before meeting Cadence?
>Yeah, that sounds great.
>You’d be a rude guest for sure, but she’d never be any the wiser.
>As you turn to duck into one of the unused side halls, you hear a familiar voice call out to you.
>“Anonymous!”
>Uh oh.
“C-Cadence!”
>Donning a sheepish smile, you turn to face the pink princess who is positively beaming in excitement.
>She hurries over and wraps a hoof around your middle in a loose hug.
>The box is awkwardly sandwiched between your two bodies.
>As should be expected, your formerly flaccid frankfurter responds to the unexpected warmth and softness of the Princess by going to half mast.
>After a few awkward seconds, Cadence pulls away and smiles.
>“Oh my gosh, you made it!  When I noticed you weren’t at the table, I really started to get worried!”
>Sweat beads on your forehead as you give a smile.
>Be cool, Anon.
“W-well, you know, entrance, party, um… happy?”
>Although you fail your speech check miserably, Cadence doesn’t seem to notice.



>After greeting you, her eyes immediately focused on the perverted parcel and hasn’t moved since.
>A glimmer similar to the teasing look she gets enters into her eyes, and the unusually calm Princess begins to trot in place.
>“Is, is that for me?”
>You give a sheepish nod and say that it is.
>A quick squeal escapes Cadence’s throat, though she brings a hoof to her lips and blushes furiously.
>“You know, you didn’t have to do that, right?”
>Shrugging, you suppress a laugh as best you can, while you feel your palms go slick around the box in your grip.
>No way around it now.
>She’s seen the present.
“Well, you know, birthday, gift…”
>Oh for Two, Anon.
“I’ll, go put this with the others.”
>Swallowing the eternally swelling knot in your throat, you move to push by the pink Princess when she suddenly stomps her hoof in front of you.
>“Hey!  Hold on a minute, you can’t tease a girl like that and then walk off.”
>Wh-what?
>A slow smile spreads across the young mare’s features as she brings a hoof to the bottom of the box.
>“At least let me try and guess what it is first!”
>Oh.
>Oh no.
>Before you can protest, Cadence reaches out and gives the box a series of firm, practiced shakes.
>A sudden teasing tightness makes itself known as the slightly rough edges cut-away cardboard drag along your all too convenient chubby.
>Giving a grimace and a squirm, you hold back your surprised gasps as the Princess continues her examination of the gift.
>Her eyes still maintain that curious glimmer, as though she were trained to know exactly how to determine what resides inside.
>Without warning, she brings up her other hoof and pulls the gift out of your slick grip.
>Your heart falls down past your stomach to your sphincter as you feel the box slide across what was supposed to be the surprise stick, certain that you’re about to be exposed.




>Despite your attempts to protest, the words get caught in your throat, leaving you gagging as she pulls the package further from your hips.
>She stops right as she reaches the tip, leaving you just barely concealed.
>Gnawing on her lip, the oblivious Princess gives the box another shake and frowns as she notices the change in weight.
>A small frown graces her features as she looks up at you.
>“Hmm… I have to say, I think you’ve got me stumped on this one.”
>Her eyes brighten again as she looks back to the box.
>“But!  That just makes opening it that much more exciting now!  I just can’t wait any longer!”
>With a cheery grin, she brings her lips to the bow, preparing to open the box.
>As you break out into a cold sweat, you hear the familiar voice of her husband calling to her.
>“Cadence!”
>As though she were a child caught pilfering pastries, the pink princess gives a soft smile and turns back to her hubby.
>“Sh-Shiny!”
>He gives her an expectant look, Cadence quickly recoiling.
>“I, I wasn’t trying to sneak a peek, I promise!”
>“I’m sure.”
>That teasing smile never leaves his lips as he motions towards the ballroom with a toss of his head.
>“Well, since you’re not trying to open gifts, maybe you should come and greet your guests.”
>The Princess’ shoulder sag a little but she gives a slow nod.
>As the rulers of the Crystal Empire trot towards the party, Cadence shoots a longing look over towards the package in your hands.
>You offer a strained smile, but as soon as they are out of sight, you hurriedly stuff your strained scrotum back in the hole.
>Well, crap.
>Now what are you going to do?


Part II

>This has gotten out of hand.
>Thirty seconds ago, Cadence very nearly exposed your wonder wand.
>That bitch.
>Not that this isn’t entirely your fault, but you have to blame her for something!
>Scampering into an unused room, you make sure the area is clear before pulling the box off your hips.
>You make it as far as the head before the rough ridges of your cardboard prison catch and begin cutting.
>Biting your lip, you manage to hold back a cry of pain, substituting a low whisper instead.
“Ssssssson of a biiiiiitch!”
>With that out of the way, you glance down and sneer at the too small hole.
>This is not a pleasurable experience.
>Inserting your cooter cleaner again, you twist the box onto the side and try again to pull out, slower this time.
>Once again, your helmet refuses to budge, as though it were saying, “Don’t puss out Anon!”
>Fuck you Richard; you’re not the boss of me!
>You make several more attempts, each one meeting with failure.
>After another few minutes of probing the area with your fingers, you find that tearing the box open more is out of the question, there’s just not enough room.
>With a sigh, you shake your head
“Congratulations, Anonymous, you’ve really screwed the pooch on this one.”
>Looks like you’re just going to have to get soft.
>Shouldn’t be too difficult, you’ve just to wait it out…
>“Anonymous!”
>You nearly jump out of your skin as you glance over your shoulder.
“Y-yo!”
>One of the crystal guards smiles at you and waves.
>“I’ve been sent by Princess Cadence to see that you join the rest of the party in the hall. Please come along.”
>Fucking Cadence, you are worst pony.
>Holding the package close to your hips, you follow the guard into the hall.
>Ponies.
>Everywhere.
>You’re sweating bullets as the guard leads you to your table.
>As you pass by the table with gifts on it, the pony glances back at you.
>“Would you like to leave your package here?”



>Straightening up, you give a nervous grin and shake your head.
“I, uh, I’d prefer to give it to the Princess myself.”
>The guard purses his lips and nods before continuing to walk.
>Right up to the main table.
>Fucking, really?
>Yup, there’s your spot right next to Shining Armor’s nerd patrol sister.
>Who has fucking wings now.
>You resolve to stop drinking unfiltered water right as Cadence waves to you.
>“Anonymous!”
>Putting on your best smile, you take a hand off the gift and wave back.
“Hello, again!”
>The Princess looks expectantly at your crotch covering and smiles.
>“And hello to you too, my wittle wrapped wonder.”
>Despite the put upon baby talk, her tongue slides out and rubs gently across her lips.
>Your bound boner surges a little in response.
>God damn it, you’re never going to get soft.
>Taking your seat, you clutch the cock casket close and try to appear perfectly at ease.
>Inside, you want to die.
>Cadence keeps shooting looks in your direction, further exasperating the tissue issue, so before you can get rid of your stiffy, Princess Celestia stands up and clears he throat.
>“Fillies and Gentlecolts!”
>The room goes still as everybody, including Cadence, turns and looks at the Sun Princess.
>She smiles, literally lighting up the room as she glances about to each corner before continuing.
>“We are here today to celebrate the birthday of my niece, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza!”
>There’s some polite clopping as the ponies applaud they Princess of Love, the pink pony giving a small wave of her hoof as she glances around.
>Clearing her throat, Celestia continues.
>“I would like to thank all of you for coming out today, and hope that you will enjoy this celebration that we have put so much time into planning. Now, the birthday mare will decide what she would like to do first on her special day.”



>A slow smile spreads across Cadence’s lips.
>Her head jerks around and she fixes her eyes on you, before glancing down.
>“I’d like to start with that.”
>Oh.
>Oh fuck.
>You’re dead.
>Against your will, you feel yourself stand and stumble over to the pink Princess.
>Your hands quiver as you stop in front of her.
>Cadence’s eyes widen as she bites down on her lip.
>Her eyes drift back up to you, a gentle smile appearing on her face.
>“I, I really am glad that you came, Anonymous.”
>Her voice is low, barely above a whisper, even her husband is having to lean over to hear her.
>“It’s nice, to have a friend like you.”
>…Damnit.
>Before you can say anything, the wild look returns to her eyes.
>“Now, lets get this started!”
>Her magic surrounds the box, and the wrapping paper is quickly ripped to shreds.
>With a manic grin, she moves to pop the box top open, but you pull it away.
“Cadence, I can’t let you do that!”
>The pink pony pouts, pursing her lips together.
>“But, Anon, it’s my birthday, I want to know what you got me.”
>Jeez, why is she so cute?
>Still, you strengthen your resolve and shake your head.
“I, uh, just realized that, uh, it’s totally the wrong size. You’re much… smaller, than I remember.”
>Once again, Cadence’s eyes go alight with excitement.
>“Omigosh, you bought me clothes?”
>A girlish squeal erupts from the Princess’ mouth as her horn lights up again, the package glowing with an eerie blue light.
>“I just have to see this now!”
“No!”
>You take several steps back, only to feel yourself stumbling forward again.
>Cadence is wearing a determined scowl now, her horn glowing all the brighter as you try to dig your heels into the ground and stop your forward progress.
>Gritting your teeth, you manage a step back in the ultimate battle between physical and magical power.
>The two of you glare at one another, making fools of yourself in front of the entire gathering of ponies.



>You don’t give a fuck; you just want to keep your junk hidden, there’s no way you’re going to give up on this gift.
>Too bad Cadence has the look in her eyes like she’s got nothing to lose too.
>As you take another unsteady step backward, you place your foot firmly on the ground.
>Only, it doesn’t feel like ground.
>In fact, it feels like nothing at all.
>As you fall backward in super slow motion, your arms begin to windmill, searching for some kind of balance.
>There’s a lewd ‘pop’ as the perverted package slides off your groin.
>And so, with your dick exposed to the world, you fall off the stage and crack your head on the floor.
>As you lay there dazed, staring up at the ceiling, you question how this day could get any worse.
>“Oh my gosh!”
>Cadence squeals and rushes over to you.
>Her previously puckered face is now awash with concern as she lifts your head.
>“Anonymous? Anonymous, are you okay?”
>You try to form words and apologize for your dick hanging out, but can’t manage to do so.
>Cadence doesn’t seem to mind.
>In fact, none of the ponies gathering around you seem to mind at all.
>No one’s even looking at your crotch.
>And that’s when you notice it.
>You don’t feel the cool air on your dick.
>Somehow, someway, you lost your boner at just the right time, and no one’s any the wiser.
>Discord must be smiling down on you.
>Offering up an apologetic smile, you shrug to the Princess.
“Sorry, I, I guess I got a little excited.”
>Cadence smiles and laughs, pulling your face up into her chest and shaking her head.
>“I’m sorry too, I suppose I let my gift grabbing get the better of me. Come on, I’ll open it later, lets have some fun everypony!”
>And so, after shaking off the stars, you did.
>And it was great.



>You leave late that night, saying your goodbyes to Shining Armor and Cadence.
>They’re really swell folks.
>They invited you over for game night, which is apparently Shining Armor’s roleplaying group and Cadence’s stitch and bitch.
>You told them you’d consider it.
>As you stumble home, still drunk on cider and sparkling wine, you feel a stirring in your pants.
“Well boys, looks like we dodged a bullet there, huh?”
>With a goofy grin, you reach down and cup your crotch.
 >Huh.
>That’s weird.
>You don’t feel anything.
>You grope a few more times before your eyes widen in panic.
>Jamming your hand down your pants, you find nothing but smooth skin against your fingertips.
>No dick.
>No testicles
>No nothing.
>Just, skin.
“Oh, fug…”
>The ghostly pleasurable sensations return with a vengeance.
>You feel your knees buckle as you drop to the cobblestones below.
>Your mouth opens in a silent scream as you feel your hips begin to buck against your invisible assaulter.
>Endorphins begin firing off in your brain as you climb higher and higher before you’re forced to orgasm.
>Falling forward onto your hands, you stare at the ground and frantically try to figure out what’s going on.
>Before you can, you feel the pleasurable sensations returning.
>What’s going on here!?



>
>Sometime later, Cadence rolls onto her back and gives a happy sigh.
>She’s sweaty and her mane is in disarray, but she looks incredibly pleased with herself.
>There’s a quick burst of magic as she brings Anonymous’ gift up to her face.
>It’s a classless, base gift, a model of what she can only assume to be his penis, compete with testicles.
>No one else would have ever gotten her something so filthy.
>But, that’s part of why she invited him in the first place.
>“Oh Anonymous, you know me so well.”
>Sighing again, she leans forward and kisses the head of the magnificent mold, licking her juices off of it in the process.
>“But I don’t see why you were so reluctant to give it to me…”
>Biting down on her lip, the Princess decides that she could go for one more round.
>As the toy descends, she closes her eyes and moans.
>“After all, the size is just… perfect.”