Doris Julies

ninjajermz Sep 18th, 2011 116 Never
Not a member of Pastebin yet? Sign Up, it unlocks many cool features!
  1. Your name is DORIS JULIES, and you are the proud daughter of the VACUUM SALESMAN, WILLIAM JULIES, who made a fortune selling HYDROWIPE. He is currently on a DANGEROUS EXPEDITION trough the SILK ROAD, trying to expand his monopoly on BICYCLE CLEANING PRODUCTS. You never really got to know him, except trough his IMPASSIONED SALES PITCHES you sometimes heard trough the walls of his NOT-SO SECRET STUDY. He has left you in the custody of your NEIGHBOR, who happens to be one of his CLOSEST ACQUAINTANCES. You don't ever recall having a MOTHER, now that we're on the subject of FAMILY AND FRIENDS.
  3. You are, much like everyone else you know that doesn't tower over you several times over, THIRTEEN YEARS OF AGE, having a birthday which lands on THE THIRTIETH OF JUNE, missing your FAMILY NAME by a day. You guess your favorite things outside your TRUE CALLING are POLITICAL DEBATES and ERGONOMICS, despite not understanding half of what people say about it. Heck, you don't even know what ERGONOMICS means, you just like the way it SOUNDS. On the subject of SOUND, you sure like SPEAKING, YELLING, and otherwise causing SOUND. You just LOVE to SING, despite the act that you are well aware that you are VERY BAD at it. Your TRUE CALLING, however, is in the field of SALES PITCHING, taking after your DAD. You make sure to practice your father's PITCHES in his NOT-SO SECRET STUDY, which has been SUFFICIENTLY SOUNDPROOFED after much pleading from your neighbor. You decided to use some of the FAMILY FUNDS to buy a fully-working STEAMPUTER from the GENERAL STORE, because you heard that you could save AUDIO RECORDINGS on it, which turned out to be a bunch of HUBBUB, since it only saves a combination of WHISTLES and BELLS. You sometimes like to sleep next to it, listening to the sounds of TECHNOLOGY.
  5. Your GUARDIAN is your FATHER, or would be, if he wasn't out fighting DRAGONS and DEMON STARFISH in China. Instead, your NEIGHBOR is your guardian. He absolutely DESPISES noise, complaining often to your FATHER, or, in his absence, his MAILBOX. He is currently in charge of buying you FOOD, but you prefer to do it yourself. He owns a PET DOG, who you get along with much better. You sometimes recite SPEECHES and HYPOTHETICAL PITCHES to it.
  7. Your STRIFE SPECIBUS is AMPLIFIERKIND, allowing you to use all manners of SOUND AMPLIFICATION GADGETS such as your faithful CONICAL SOUND BIGGERIZER, which you claim belonged to your GREAT-GREAT GRANDFATHER. You use the FAIR TRADE MODUS, which allows you to use whichever item you wish, but at the cost of something of approximate value.
  9. Your chaphandle is cantankerousTallywoman, [COLOR="#9acd32"]and you speak with EMPHASIS on certain WORDS so that you can get your POINT across to the CONSUMER.[/COLOR] In SDRICT you will be the TRADER OF SOUND in the Land of Roads and Whistles. You will dream in DERSE, and your consorts will be BLUE OTTERS with a talent at APPRAISING GEMS. Your denizen will be Brighid.
RAW Paste Data