(Lupus): She’s nice… is that your mate?
Kaj: Ah, no. We’re not mates yet.
(Lupus): But… You two were showing homid forms of attraction with your lips. If you’re attracted to her and she accepts your attraction then you’re mates.
Kaj: Er, no. We’re dating, it’s like… We’re figuring out if we want to be mates. In the future.
(Lupus): …I don’t understand. You want to be mate, yes?
Kaj: I mean, yeah, I guess. Probably.
(Lupus): Then be mate. Be wolf, not human. Wolf easy.
Kaj: It really does not work that way…

-

(Lupus): Congratulations on becoming mate.
Kaj: Wait what?
(Lupus): I was doing surveil of sept territory and heard you and your “girlfriend” mate.
Kaj: WHAT? W-were you following me!?
(Lupus): I must learn more homid culture so I thought I’d stop by and see what homid “dating” is like.
Kaj: Oh my god no no… we’re not mates yet! We’re still dating!
(Lupus): …You have mated.
Kaj: No!
(Lupus): How long until pup is born?
Kaj: Never! Look homids have magical devices that let us not have kids so we have sex whenever we want even though we’re not actually mates yet. We’ll be mates when we have a ring on our finger. A wedding- er, mate ring.
(Lupus): …What, um what’s the word…. “the fuck?”

-

(Mentor): Where did you get this car?
Kaj, driving: I found it!
(Mentor): You stole it.
Kaj: No, it was abandoned.
(Mentor): It had a “For Sale” sign on the window.
Kaj: And no one bought it.
(Mentor): That doesn’t-
*sirens*
Kaj: Oh shoot… I don’t have a license.
(Mentor): You don’t… then why are you driving!?
Kaj: I can’t go to jail… [looks into rearview mirror] I’m stepping sideways.
(Mentor): No! You can’t step sideways *WHILE YOU’RE DRIVING*
*Kaj poofs into the Umbra*

-

(Lupus): Why do you introduce yourself as name that is not your name?
Kaj: Oh, it’s a joke I guess.
(Lupus): I don’t get it.
Kaj: Well… it’s kind of a habit I picked up from this guy…
[Flashback montage]
(Mentor): This is my associate, Bright-Eyes.
Kaj: What?

(Mentor): These traditional Garou, they’ll give you more respect if you have a given Lupus name.
…
(Mentor): This is my associate, Sleepless-In-Seattle.
Kaj: That’s not even-
…
(Mentor): This is my associate, Electric-Boogaloo.
…
(Mentor): This is my associate, Farm-Upstate. Ah see, he laughed. Must be Homid.
…
(Mentor): This is my associate, Dances-With-Wolv- Ooh, actually, you know what? That one doesn’t work. My bad.

-

Kaj: Tell him where he can stick his grapes.
(Lupus): In… the fridge?
Kaj: …Typically yes but we’re making an exception today.