I Hate School Idol Festival, or The Wonderful Rush

I hate School Idol Festival.

I hate it because it’s turned me into someone entirely different.
I hate it because when I could be using two hours to get a headstart on a 9-page essay, I’m burning love gems on a rectangle of colorful pixels on my iPhone.
I hate it because while other girls spend their money on luxuries I’m gambling my money on a slim chance that I could get a certain image of a certain girl.
I hate it because I feel if I don’t open the app at 00:00 UTC I’ll miss something.
I hate it because despite saying how much I hate Score Match I still find myself grinding it like no tomorrow.
I hate it because KLab keeps screwing up every small mechanic.
I hate it because I found myself at a movie theater waving a glowstick at a concert that wasn’t even live.
I hate it because when I saw a girl with a 2nd Live shirt I followed her all the way across campus like a stalker.
I hate it because it’s consumed my life.
I hate it.

My life is ruined.
But I am content.

I love it.
I love it because it’s a part of my life.
I love it because I became friends with that girl with the 2nd Live shirt and we both finally have something we can connect with.
I love it because I got to go to the movie theater to see that concert, and it was so much fun.
I love it because even though KLab makes mistakes, they show they care about the people who play the game.
I love it because it helped this isolated homeschooled high school senior to leave her books in her bedroom and expand her small world.
I love it because the events let my group of friends battle to see who will be at the top of the Friends Ranking, and we have so much fun doing it.
I love it because I had finally learned how to be committed to something.
I love it because I get excited when I open the app at 00:00 UTC because there could be surprises awaiting me to brighten my day.
I love it because I finally have use for the iTunes gift cards I never use.
I love it because of the shock of seeing my best girl fly out of the UR envelope.
I love it because it’s turned me into someone entirely different - a good different.

I love School Idol Festival.
I fight myself because it gives me balance in a chaotic life.
There’s some bad in it, but there’s also the good.
It gives me a hard time, but it also gives me the best time.
It’s a love-hate relationship, and somehow it doesn’t feel intoxicating.

I’m grateful for what has come out of this life.
I’ve made new friends.
I’ve seen new things.
I’ve found a place I belong.
I’ve been given the privilege to help this community.

It’s a wonderful rush.