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Speaker-to-Birds

Anon and Amber Eyes 3: Ethnographer Anon

Jul 1st, 2016
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  1. >Be anon
  2. >You're wandering around the little city of brightly-colored tents and nests outside of Camelot with Amber Eyes
  3. >Pigeon-pone ghetto
  4. >It's surprisingly clean and organized. You don't really know what you were expecting, but bird-pones are fairly tidy.
  5. >It's temporary, like nearly everything else bird ponies construct, since they move from one place to another and can't carry much.
  6. >they'll break everything down at the end of the season when they migrate to warmer climes
  7. >Bird ponies can't stand cold
  8. >But Amber Eyes says that far, far to the south, in Zebrica and South Amareica, there are real cities, but just a few
  9. >Built into the tops of mountains, and temples to both the Princesses along with Lady Cumulus, the Mother of Clouds and Storms.
  10. >The combined flocks gather there, on some occasions.
  11. >Twice each century, the Alicorn Princesses come to them for some sort of remembrance ceremony--the next one is one year from now
  12. >They're kind of excited that Luna will be attending this one for the first time in a thousand years
  13. >Apparently this has been going on for a long time.
  14. >You're recording everything you hear on a digital voice recorder. You'll transcribe notes later
  15. >You wonder at the precise nature of the relationship between Celestia and the bird ponies, and wonder also at why it never occurred to Twilight to ask
  16. >there are foals and fillies running around underfoot, playing and laughing
  17. >Some of them are staring at you in curiosity, or even a little fear; to be sure, you're probably weirder than they're used to seeing.
  18. >You can hear singing and musical instruments. With some amusement, you notice that you recognize some of the songs
  19. >They've worked the rhythms and melodies from your gift of music to Amber Eyes into their own music, and changed them in interesting ways
  20. >You wonder if the Beatles would like what they've done with "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds," but it sounds amazing to your ears
  21.  
  22. >The conversation drifts randomly
  23. >You're chattering animatedly about hoofball--Amber Eyes is a major fan of the Canterlot Colts
  24. >heh...pony...Colts. Much lols, many keks. Wow.
  25. >Bird-ponies are sports fiends, in addition to snack fiends. Stereotypes aside, at least this one is, and so is her sister, White Thorn.
  26. >the air is filled with scents and sounds, of bird ponies chattering in languages including Equestrian and their own language--they tend to speak a mix of all the languages they find in their travels..
  27. >They have a scent somewhere between beeswax fresh from a hive and something almost floral
  28. >It's a pleasant, dusty sort of odor, hard to describe unless you've ever smelled a beehive
  29. >And then you both smell something you haven't smelled much of since you came to Equestria
  30. >cooking meat. Whoah.
  31. >Your stomach growls, and so does Amber Eyes'. Loudly. She looks a little embarrassed.
  32. >"Oh...wow, have you eaten? No, you haven't, we've been talking all day and--wait, do you eat meat?"
  33. Uh...yes, I DO, when I can get it, but that isn't often, since most ponies can't stand the smell of it when it's cooking. I keep some at home and I cook it for myself sometimes. Do you have griffons or other carnivores around here?
  34.  
  35. >She cuts through the crowd ahead of you, playing icebreaker.
  36. >You see a few pegasi and unicorns here and there, presumably there to buy whatever it is that bird-ponies only make
  37. >but as you make your way through the hanging sheets that divide the "streets" up, they pretty much disappear altogether
  38. >You arrive at a small vendor's tent, with a fire and racks of cooking...meat.
  39. >Bird ponies apparently eat meat too. Okay, that's beyond interesting.
  40. >You knew that ponies sometimes ate fish, but it never went beyond that.
  41. >Some pegasi were supposedly trained to eat meat, Twilight had said, but only in an emergency when literally nothing else was available.
  42. >Pegasi need lots of energy. You know you've seen Rainbow pack away the food,
  43. >then clog Twilight's toilet.
  44. >You both thought it was hilarious
  45. >The proprietor is a birdpone mare with the brightest gold eyes you've ever seen, an ivory mane,coat and face and intricate black markings on her muzzle and wings.
  46. >Helping her is a small filly, with the same gold eyes, but with duller colors almost like a baby quail
  47. >Amber and the vendor talk for a few seconds in their own language. They converse a bit, and the vendor smile and nods.
  48. >A few bits are exchanged from the pound Amber keeps around her neck, and the vendor and her filly carefully pick up four of the roasting
  49. skewers
  50. >Your actually mouth waters at the scent.
  51. >they carefully transfer the meat to flatbreads and top them with some cooked vegetables from one of the kettles nearby.
  52. >Amber Eyes and the vendor talk for a few moments, and then she flutters over to you. "Just trust me, you'll like this."
  53. >You take two of them, and you find a place to sit down a short distance away.
  54. >You bite into yours--and experience the gustatory equivalent of an orgasm
  55. >It's tender, somewhere between pork and chicken in taste, with that faint taste that tells you it's something wild, not raised as livestock
  56.  
  57. >It manages to hit all the right notes between sweet and savory and its flavored with rosemary and woodsmoke and something you can't identify
  58. >there's at least two different meats, both with their own unique flavor.
  59. >TASTES_LIKE_CHICKEN.jpg
  60. >No, it totally fucking doesn't, Brainon, I don't know what this tastes like, but shut the fuck up and enjoy it
  61. >LOL I TROLL U
  62. >Don't make me come up there. Anyway...
  63. >The vegetables are crisp and spicy, and there's several beans in the mix
  64. >the flatbread you could eat as a friggin' meal all by itself, you gun get you summa dat waht for taking home.
  65. You've tasted some awesome things in Equestria but this has to be in the top ten
  66. >Sorry, Applejack's apple fritters, Anon has a new love.
  67. >With amusement, you note that while you're halfway through yours, Amber Eyes has wolfed hers down and is starting on the second one
  68. >And they're substantial.
  69. Geez, where are you putting it? Wanna slow down so you can taste it?
  70. >Amber belches. Cute. "Hey, I was hungry. Sue me. Migrating, remember?"
  71. So, uh...out of curiosity, what exactly am I eating here? Should I even ask?
  72. >You're not altogether sure you want to know the answer, since you're enjoying what may be the single greatest meal in the history of great meals
  73. >Why spoil the magic?
  74. >"It's tatzlwurm and basilisk," she finishes wolfing down the second one and licks the juice off her hooves.
  75. >Oh. Wait, what? Big, ugly wormy-snakey thing that combines all the worst traits of a worm with a snake.
  76. >It spreads diseases. Major equestrian pest. Which probably explains why they're tolerated.
  77. >but the meat-eating probably creeps out some ponies even so.
  78. But you don't think that's really Twilight's problem here.
  79. >You've seen petitions circulated among canterlot elite to close down Griffon and Minotaur restaurants.
  80. >Oddly enough, Ponyville is much more tolerant in that area than Canterlot
  81.  
  82. >But anyway, the food..
  83. >okay, you've eaten some weird things. You've never felt an urge to eat snake.
  84. >Or worm.
  85. >Or snakeworms.
  86. >But you've eaten alligator, which wasnt' bad
  87. >and a basilisk is basically the uglier mutated crossbreeding of a chicken with...something
  88. >And it's also kind of a pest.
  89. >You look at the rest of the flatbread. Well, you liked it before, and it still tastes awesome, why stop now?
  90. >You resume munching on it. yes, it still tastes fuckawesome. No, we're not gonna dwell on it being snek
  91. >LOL UR EATING SNEK MEAT ANON
  92. >shut up, brainon, or I swear I'm coming up there.
  93. Seriously, though, you guys eat meat?
  94. >She seems a little surprised at your question. "Yeah, sometimes we have to find any food we can.
  95. >Sometime's dinner's whatever you can trade for or scavenge or gather in the woods and fields. Sometimes dinner's whatever you can catch and kill. And meat's good, rich food
  96. >"We try to get as much as we can before we migrate. You need all the fat you can pack on, you know? We don't eat a lot when we're moving north and south.
  97. >She shrugs. "Usually there's no time. When we're over the ocean, there's usually noplace for a pony to stop and land.
  98. >We'll stop and make camp for a few days, when there's an island or something or somepony's ill or hurt. But usually it's a nonstop flight.
  99. >You finally finish the flatbread-thingies.and marvel that not only did they STILL taste good when you knew what they were
  100. >You were probably gonna wind up coming here again
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