Purple Punch [AiE]

>Be Twilight.
>Be out with your friends in the market.
>Anon the human is here too.
>You don't like Anon.
>You walk in the back of the group as Rainbow and Applejack argue about where you're supposed to be going.
>Keeping a safe distance from Anon proves fruitless as he slips up beside you and looks down.
"H-hi, Ano-"
>He quickly bends down and punches you in the shoulder.
>You yell out from the hit, causing your friends to stop and turn around.
"Anonymous!  He just-"
>Anon was behind the group looking at you just as quizzically as the others.
>"I what?" he asked, concerned.
"You hit me!"
>"Why would I do that?"
>"Really?" asked Fluttershy and Pinkie, looking back at Anon.
>"Darling, really.  Anonymous was here the entire time," said Rarity, motioning towards the human.
"But-  But he just hit me!" you cried.
>"Twilight, you shouldn't make up lies about others," said Applejack.
>"Yeah!" piped up Rainbow Dash.  "How do you know somepony else didn't just run into you?"
"B-But...  But he-"
>"Can we go?  asked Anon.  "I'm getting kinda hungry."
>His stomach growled and he held a hand over it.
>Pinkie jumped up into the air.
>"To the Sugarcube Corner!" she shouted, pointing a hoof in its direction.

>Pinkie trotted on ahead while the others followed.
>Rainbow hovered overhead but still kept a fast pace with Applejack.
>Those two are always in competition with each other over the smallest things.
>Anon walked flanked by both Rarity and Fluttershy and you once again follow along in back.
>When you arrived, Anon held the door open for the rest of the ladies.
>You eye him as you walk by and he punches you in the shoulder once again.
"Ow!" you shout.
>The others turn and look as the door closes behind you.
"Anon!" you shout.
>"What?"
>Everypony looks to find him already sitting at the counter.
"How did you-"
>"Twilight, what do you have against Anon?" asked Rainbow Dash as she flew up and poked you in the chest.
"I-I-I," you stammer.
>"He just wants to fit in, Twilight!" cried Pinkie.  "Why are you trying to upset him?"
>You look over to Anon who just looked at Pinkie with a raised eyebrow.
>"But I'm not upset?" he said to Pinkie.
>"Shh, it's okay, Anon," said Fluttershy as she petted his leg.
>"I think you should go home, Twilight," said Applejack as she and Rarity stood before you in the doorway.
>Tears flood your eyes as you turn and bolt from the bakery.

>Spike knocks on your bedroom door to the sound of loud sobbing.
"Go away!" you call.
>He opens the door slowly to find you burying your face in a pillow and crying.
>Spike walked up to the side of the bed and hopped up, sitting himself on the edge.
>He softly nudge you.
>"Hey.  I heard about how the door hit you at Sugarcube Corner."
"It wasn't the door!" you shout after lifting your head from the pillow.
>Spike recoiled at the sudden motion and the look of hatred in your eyes.
>"Well even if it wasn't, how would you know?"
"I saw him hit me!"
>"Well...  Maybe it was an accident?"
"I.  Saw.  Him.  Hit.  Me," you tell him again.  "Twice.  It wasn't an accident."
>"I don't know, Twilight.  Anon's the nicest person in Ponyville.  Why would he suddenly decide to not like you?"
"I intend to find out," you say as you hop off the bed and leave the library.
>You trot back down to Sugarcube Corner and duck into a bush beneath the window.
>Peeking inside, you procure a quill and scroll and jot notes down on Anon's interactions with others.
>He plays with the Cakes twins, bouncing them on his knees as he feeds them cake.
>Everypony in the room seems to enjoy his company.
>You know beneath that smile of his is a really wicked person.

>Your friends and Anon leave the building, causing you to duck back down into the bush.
>Anon and Pinkie stay at the door of the bakery and wave goodbye to the rest of the group.
>Pinkie hugs Anon goodbye and goes inside.
>You eye Anonymous through the leaves as he stands at the door.
>He slowly leans over and throws a fist through the bush, hitting you in the shoulder again.
"Ow!"
>You stand up and step out of the bush.
"How did you know I was there?"
>"I don't know," he said with a shrug.
>He slugged you once more and walked away.
>You look around at the moderately populated market.
"Does nopony see this!" you shout and point at the human as he walked away.
>Some ponies looked at you confused, followed where you were pointing, then waved "Hello" to Anon.
>He greeted them politely and continued on his way.

>You will not let this die.
>You write Celestia a letter regarding your situation and have Spike send it off.
>Time to start an investigation.
>However, that doesn't blow over well at all.
>It's like he always knows where you are.
>You hide in his garden and he punches you.
>You follow him around the town and he manages to lose you only to appear behind you and punch you.
>There was one time where he deliberately opened his kitchen cabinets just so he could punch you.
>Sore, but strangely not bruised, you make your way home for the night to find that Celestia had written back.
>Spike handed the letter over to you and you raced upstairs to read it.
>You heart sinks when you read the letter.
>Apparently, Anonymous is on good terms with both princesses and they don't see and refuse to believe Anonymous would single you out with such acts of violence.
>You almost shake in anger as you crumple the scroll up and throw it in the corner.
>Writing out another letter, you practically dare Celestia herself to visit Ponyville to witness his actions.

>The next morning finds you casually hanging out with your friends again in the park for a picnic.
>They're wary of your upbeat attitude and your enthusiam for wanting to be around Anon.
>"She must feel terrible about yesterday and is trying to make it up to him," whispered Rarity to Applejack and Fluttershy who just nodded in silence.
>You were practically rubbing up against Anonymous all day but to no avail.
>He simply wouldn't hit you.
>You know he's holding out.
>He can't resist forever.
>"Hey Anon," said Rainbow Dash.  "Watch this."
>The whole group watches as Rainbow spirals into the sky and uses her rainbow trail to write her own name in the clouds.
>"Not bad," complimented Anon when she returned.
>"Just 'not bad'?" asked Rainbow with a scoff.
>You gasp when Rainbow punches Anon in the shoulder.
>"Yeah.  'Not bad'," repeated Anon as he also punched Rainbow Dash in the shoulder.
>They laughed and hoof bumped and went back to their business.
>Huh...
>Was Anon just trying to befriend you?
>Dash didn't seem to mind at all and she even did it to Anon first.
>Perhaps you had him pegged wrong.

>Anon took a seat on picnic cloth while the others went to go play frisbee.
>You sat beside him and clear your throat.
"Anon?"
>"Yup?"
"Listen, I'm sorry about-"
>He punches you in the shoulder.
"Heh..." you laugh while rubbing your shoulder.  "I'm sorry about-"
>He punches you again.
"Okay, Anon, really-"
>He punches you again.
>This time harder, causing you to fall to the side.
>Your lip quivers as Anon just sits there cross-legged and watching the others play frisbee as if nothing happened.
"So I was right!" you shout.
>You try to stand, but your leg was weak from being struck in the shoulder repeatedly.
>You lame dog it for now, keeping pressure off the injured leg.
"You really are a jerk!"
>Anon raises a confused eyebrow at you while the others stop their game and stare.
>The stray frisbee hits Fluttershy in the back of the head.
>"Ow," she whispers.

"Why are you so mean to me!" you shout.
>Anon looks over at the others.
>You follow his stare and see a bunch of very angry ponies advancing on you.
>"Twilight!  What in tarnation are you shouting about now!" demanded Applejack.
"This jerk," you say point at Anon.  "Won't stop hitting me for no reason!"
>"I have no idea what you're talking about," said Anon, calm as ever.
>"But Anon is the coolest guy we know," defended Rainbow.
>She landed beside Anon and gave him a friendly punch in the shoulder.
>Anon returned the gesture.
>"Hmph!" grunted Rarity, sticking her nose into the air.  "Lets go, Anonymous.  We need to seperate you and Ms. Sparkle over here."
>Applejack and Pinkie Pie stayed with you as the others led Anon to Rarity's boutique.
>"So what's your deal with Anonymous?" asked Applejack in a calmer tone.
>"Yeah, Twilight.  We just want to help you get along."
"I don't know!  He just hits me for no reason!"
>"What, like what him and Rainbow Dash do?" asked Applejack
"Yes, but I can tell he doesn't mean it in a friendly way!"
>"Are you sure you're not just over-reacting?" asked Applejack.
>"Some ponies have their own special way of expressing their likes for others," said Pinkie.  "I would know."
"But I-"
>"Listen, Twi.  If he was, why don't we ever see it?" asked Applejack.
"He does it in private!"
>"But at Sugarcube Corner?  How did none of us see it?  He wasn't even around you."
>Instead of answering, you just walk away.
>He's crafty, you'll give him that.
>You'll get him.
"Oh I'll get him, alright..." you grin.

>The next day finds the seven of you at the library.
>Spike was there too, but he's always there.
>Anon was reading with Rainbow Dash on some beanbag chairs in the corner of the room.
"Rarity, can you help me and Spike in the kitchen with the snacks?"
>"Oh, no, no, no, darling.  Anonymous~?  Be a dear and help Twilight for me, hm?"
>Anon and Rainbow sighed as Anon closed his copy of 'Daring Do' and went to meet you in the kitchen.
>You levitate a tray of glasses and a lemonade pitche to Spike who takes it in the next room.
"Anon, take this tray of sandwiches too, would you?"
>"Sure thing."
>He pulls the tray out of the air and follows up with a punch to your shoulder.
"Ow!  Anonymous, knock it off!"
>"Or what?"
>He slugs you again.
>"What are you gonna do about it?"
>And again.
"I'll...  I'll..."
>You think fast.
"I'll tell on you!"
>He laughed and rolled his eyes.
>"Pfft.  Oh right.  Who you gonna tell?  You precious pony princess?"
>He punches you again and laughs.
>"Actually, yes."
>His lips seal tight as he turns around.
>In a dark corner of the kitchen, Princess Celestia herself steps from the shadows.
>"You.  Canterlot.  Now!"
>"Oh shi-" shouts Anonymous as Celestia teleports him away.

>You breathe a sigh of relief when your mentor finally comes to the rescue.
>"Well then..." spoke Celestia.  "It appears we were mistaken.  Don't worry, Twilight.  Anon will be taken care of."
"Thank you, Princess," you say with a bow.
>Celestia teleports away.
>You take the tray of sandwiches into the next room.
>"What was all that racket?" asked Applejack.
"Anonymous and I settled our differences," you say with your head up high.
>"Then where is he?" asked Rainbow Dash.
"He said he had to go.  He'll meet up with you later."
>"Aww man..." she grumbled as she set her book down.
>Rainbow Dash left the library a little ticked off at Anon ditching her.
>The others sat around for a short while before they too went home for the day.
>You feel a little bad for tricking Anon like you did, but if anyone can set him straight, it's Celestia.

>The night drove on and you find yourself lying on your bed and gleefully reading the latest edition of the World Dictionary.
>Your tummy grumbled, reminding you that you forgot to have lunch today.
>Setting the book down, you step over the sleeping Spike and head down to the kitchen.
>Rather than cooking up a whole meal, you settle on a sandwich to hold you over until morning.
>Bread, lettuce, tomato, cheese.
>You almost went back upstairs before you realized something.
>Mayo.
>Setting the plate on the counter, you dig through the fridge to find the condiment you desire.
>Seeing as your fridge was well-organized, it only took all of about five seconds to find.
>You turn around and drop the mayonnaise jar to the floor.
>You gasp at the sight before your eyes.
"Who did this!?" you shout into the darkness.
>In the bread of your sandwich, you found the knuckle imprint from a fist.
>An ominous laughter echoing through the house sends a shiver down your spine.