Thread 25: Stories 1-15

Thread 25 archive: http://archive.heinessen.com/mlp/thread/18110396
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>AJ
"Rarity"
~~~~

AJ knocks on the bathroom door.
>C'mon Rarity! Ah need to use the bathroom!

"I'm putting on my make up!"

>You can do it outside!

"No! I'm almost done!"

>Hurry up! Ah need to poop! As in take a shit! Perform a bowl movement!

"That's disgusting Applejack! What are you doing?!"

>Trying to make you come out faster! I need to drop a deuce! Drop some ass apples! Some Bum Brownies! Some Creamy Butt Nuggets! A Dookie! Some Hell's Candy! A Snicker Doodle! A Steamer! Some Tatertots! A rush of Potty Animals!

Opens the door.
"OKAY YOU WIN! JUST STOP!!!"
AJ rushes into the bathroom and kicks Rarity out.

>I knew you'd come around.

"There are other bathrooms in the castle!"

>Yeah, but you're in this one.

Rarity facehoofs
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>2
"32"
'Cockroach'
-Golem-


>Hiya 32!

32 is flitting around his cell, looking all over, he casts a look at 2 and smiles.

"Aha, hello again, child, please sit yourself there, I'll be with you in a moment."

>What'cha doin'?

"I am-oh where is he-looking for my dear friend, Reginald."

>Reginald?

"Indeed, Reginald J. Roachfort, have you seen him? About yea high? Six legs? Partial to sugar? I swear he was just here."

>32? Ya got a bug on your head!

"Hmm? Ohhhh happy day! There you are Reggie! Reggie this is my dear little sister, 2, she's a princess-

'...'

32 pauses as though listening.

"-no no, little friend, Princesses are not like Queens at all, Princesses can be trusted. Don't you start talking like that, or you'll sit in the corner like Thorax, that racist."

>Uh...are ya okay? You're actin' really weird.

"Well it's nice to just have someone to talk to, you know? Someone who isn't using you to get details on Morlock history, or trying to sway you to give up all you stand for, or being a big jerk in a stu-er, silly hat."

>Ooh! I was gonna help with that, actually!

"Hm? How?"

>Well a while ago Somby made these little crystal guys come to life, he said they were called golems! He let me keep four!

"Fascinating."

'...*chitter*.'

"Hey, YOU make good conversation, then you'll have room to criticize."

>And, well, I can't really think of a good name for this one...

She shakes her wig and a small glowing crystal figure falls out, landing on the floor with a small 'tink'.

>And I was thinkin' about how lonely you must be in here so I wanna let ya have him...her...I dunno which it is, but I hope ya like it!

32 blinks, looking down as the little crystal creature walks between the bars and looks back up at him, regarding him without the benefit of real eyes. 32 smiles.

"...thank you, child, I will cherish it always."

>Great, I gotta head upstairs soon, though, I gotta head home and do-ugh-homework! Have fun with whatever you name him!

2 skips away, humming to herself, leaving 32 to lie on the ground next to the little golem and pet it slowly with his hoof.

"Such a nice child. Welcome, my new friend, I hope you and Reggie get along."

-...-

'...'

"See, already finding some common ground."

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>Rekulk
"Robot Head"
'Various'

"It has been decided!"

'HURRAH! HURRAH! HURRAH!'

At the edge of its dais in the middle of the Morlock cavern, the Head of Metal addresses the massed entirety of the Morlock species from atop the head of Rekulk.

"A bargain was struck and our reward was specified under the parameters: Anything. Sorting algorithms and gathered data have decided the correct course of action!

'DA-TA! DA-TA! DA-TA!'

The forehooves of the Morlocks stomp as they chant the words.

"Three shall go to the surface, a trader, a worker, and a soldier!"

'TRA-DER! WOR-KER! SOL-DIER!'

"Rekulk shall lead this mission! He will choose two others and they shall don the encounter suits and travel to seek our reward!"

'REKULK! REKULK! REKULK!'

Rekulk bashfully acknowledgement, the scrambles to stop the Head of Metal tumbling off his head.

"THE SURFACE WORLD SHALL GIVE US NEW SUITS! BETTER SUITS! CRAFTED AS ONLY THEY CAN!"

'SUITS! SUITS! SUITS!'

"Rekulk, designate your companions, gather your supplies, and find the pony designated 'Twilight Sparkle'! With her Twience, there will be safety from the sun!"

'SPAR-KLE! SPAR-KLE! SPAR-KLE!'

>It shall be done, Head of Metal.

"Acknowledged, objectives updated: Place this unit back onto its resting spot. Do NOT drop."

>Of course.

Rekulk does as bade and turns back towards the crowd.

>BROTHERS! SISTERS! I have seen the City of White! It is beautiful, it is grand, and it is vast! One day, we Morlocks will have such a city, beneath the original but no less grand! One day, Zhetri Tuuhl will rule over us again, and we shall live in the harmony he wished for us! Today we begin the great march towards prosperity, and I will carry this banner, for you, for me, for Zhetri Tuuhl!

'HURRAH! REKULK! REKULK! REKULK!'

Rekulk smiles, he comes down from the dais, ready to face the quest that stood before him.

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>Pennydrop
"R&D guy"
~~~
>... What the hell is this?

"It's a children's toy. Fun for all ages 3 and up. Specifically, it's a light-up zipline"

>Isn't this out of our scope of manufacturing?

"It is? We DO only build doomsday devices and deathrays? I'm sorry, I thought we were a legitimate business, not a Saturday morning, cartoon super villain group."

>... Okay, I see your point.

"Darn, and I was almost looking forward to hailing Cobra."

>You are soo taking a hit to your paycheck for that.

"All worth it to remind you Fawntine industries is more than guns and death if we want to have a decent image."

>... I'll cut your pay after a bonus.

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>Spike
"Rarity"
~~~
"Oh, Spikey! You're finally out of that dungeon!"

>Heh, you don't sound too happy though.

"I.. .I guess I just don't feel as helpful as Applejack-"

>42, she's the one that helped.

Rarity smiles sadly

"Still, I'm sorry, I've kept you at arms length for so long, now that I want to be closer, want to be there when you laugh or cry... I just can't help."

>... You could help me practice my waltz.

"Pardon- Whahah!"

Spike suddenly sweeps Rarity into his steps while in a seamless motion they sweep past a record player which scratchily begins to blare it's record's music

>Sing along if you know the words, Rarity. I know you can sing.

Rarity smiles and fills in the missing lyrics

"Dancing bears, painted wings
Things I almost remember
And a song, someone sings..."
>"Once upon a December."

"Someone holds me safe and warm."

>Horses prance through a silver storm!

"Figures dancing gracefully."
>"Across my memory!"

Rarity suddenly stumbles a bit and Spike pulls her closer, she chokes for a moment

"I-I'm sorry... I'm sorry I forgot the rest of the lyrics."

>It's okay, we can still just have this dance.

"Don't think this makes up for the Gala."

>I know...

"No."

Rarity pulls back a moment and smiles

"I mean me doing this does not begin to make up for my behavior at the end of the Gala. We still have our date."

Spike smiles

>I can't wait.

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non-canon
>Silver Spoon
"Pommel"
'32'
~~~
meanwhile, in an alternate universe...

>Ugh.... this training from PJ's gonna kill me.

"I know how you feel, but it'll get better. Sort of."

'Pommel! If you can dodge Death, you can dodge not being the best in the world!'

"Aw, crap."

[YOU'RE NOT BINKY.]
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>18
"Twi"
~~~
>'Have ye ever heardtold o' changeling messiah? Ancient prophecy which foretell o' prince whose love is unbound? A love which would redeem, e'ry hive an' e'ry queen, a compassion which might save you an' me'-?

"I, don't mean to be rude and cut you off, or doubt you but... This isn't an actual Changeling legend, is it? You're just singing my brothers praises it sounds like."

>Hey, legends gotta start somewhere. I've also advertising these baculum as belonging to him and being fertility charms.

"... Those are whale penis bones.. And-... are you claiming he has multiple?"

>Ask any mare and they wouldn't doubt it. Two's also made little keychain dolls that people think grant goodluck and protection from harm.
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Non-Canon.

>Two
"Shiny"
~~~~~

>When I was, a young girl, mah Shiny, took me into the city... To see a marchin' band...

>An' he said, "Two when... Ya grow up... Will you be... The princess of the ponies, the Gryphons and the Dogs?"

>He said, "Will you, receive 'em, your people, and all the non-believers, the plans that they have made?"

>'Cause one day, he'll l-leave me, h-his kingdom, so that I can guide 'em through, to join the Hug Parade....

When he opened the door to bring his daughter a surprise cup of hot chocolate with extra marshmallows, Shiny nearly dropped the cup when she rushed up to him on those little legs, rearing back to wrap her forehooves around his neck in a tight hug.

>I love you, Shiny.

He was confused. Very much so. But that didn't delay him even for a second in returning the embrace and nuzzling her.

"I love you more, Two."
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Non-canon... OR IS IT?? (Dun dun duuuun) (it is)

---

The night is young, and two changelings sit in an office working with the radio on a melodic tune, 42 pops her head up suddenly from the work she was engrossed in, she glances over to her work partner for the night who has her own nose buried in paper.

"Remember when we were trying for Shiny?" 42 asks 18 almost casually, not taking her eyes from the other.

"Hm?" 18 cranes her neck upward. "Oh yeah. Long gone now."

"I swear I felt I got close to breaking him at least once."

18 laughs and places down her pen, picking up a mug filled with tea and taking a sip. "Definitely."

"He's too into his wife though..." 42 moans, scribbling something akin to a doodle on some paper next to her.

"Indeed." 18 yawns, placing the mug back down.

"Fuck, this is depressing." 42 murmurs, she straightens her back until it cracks, and then looks toward her friend. "Basically, I'm bored. Let's get drunk and enjoy ourselves. Aint done that in a while."

"Oh." 18 returns the gaze and contemplates. After a while she replies with; "That sounds alright."

~~~

The office is a mess, empty bottles of cider and other alcoholic beverages litter the floor while the two dance around happily on top of crushed paperwork.

"YER MAH BESHT FWEND!" 42 sings at the top of her lungs.

"NUH YER MINE!" 18 blurts back while pirouetting under 42's arm, a mug of cider mixed with tea in her other hoof.

"WE'RE EACH OTHERS BESHT FWENDS!"

"YEEEAH!"

"AN' WE'RE STRONG!"

"FUCK YYEEEAH!"

"AN' WE LIIEK HAVIN' FUN!"

"YYEEEAH!"

"AN' WE LIEK KISSIN' GURLS!"

"YEEEAA-- Wait, whu?"

Before 18 can properly respond, she has her face snogged clumsily by a drunken 42, the hard headed fighter pulls away and continues her drunken dancing while 18 turns bright red, stops, and falls on her behind.

"WE'RE THA BESHT IN THA WOOOORLD!" 42 sings again, grabbing another mug.

"Y-yah..."

"18'SH MAH BES' FWEND!"

"Y-yah."

"AN' AH LUHV HER!"

"W-wait, what?"

~~~

Morning time rears itself, 42 groggily comes to. A blanket covers her, her head resting on a pillow. Her eyes blearily open and she rubs a hoof over them.

"Ugh... my head hurts. Why... oh Celestia we drank ourselves stupid didn't we?" She asks nobody in particular.

"Yeah, a little."

42 jumps at the new voice she then recognises as 18's. 18 hands her something that looks like milk, and she accepts it.

"Thanks." 42 mumbles, taking a sip and smiling. "What is this? Milk and whiskey?"

"Milk and rum." 18 replies. "Good hangover cure. And you're welcome."

After a moment, 42 speaks up again.

"Haha. Last night was fun."

18 freezes slightly. She turns to 42. "What do you remember?"

"Oh bloody hell. Er... paperwork, drinking, dancing, singing... blacking out." 42 goes through the list. "Good times."

"Mhm." 18 agrees. "It was good." She didn't remember.

"Have to do it again sometime!" 42 raises a hoof in the air dramatically.

18 just smiles.

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>Chrysalis
"Cadence"
~~~~~

>Damn Caddy, what were you thinking?

"It was just supposed to be cereal!"

A demonic screech split the air as a beast with ten thousand eyes tore apart the kitchen.

>...Okay, walk me through this.

"CEREAL! PLUS! MILK!"

>...What kind of cereal box has a ankh on the front?

"IT WAS AT A DISCOUNT!"

>Also, this milk is in weird bottle.

"THE GYSPY SOLD IT FIVE FOR FIVE BITS!"

>Uh huh....

"JUST BUG LASER BEAM THE THING!"

>So demanding.

*SCREEEEECH!*
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Non-canon
>42
"18"
'Cadence'
~~~~~

>Oh, yeah, lingerie, that'll work.

"Hey, at least I'm still making the effort instead of fits of sputtering uselessly."

>...No idea what you mean. I mean, I occasionally have fits wherein my old wounds may act up randomly, but I by no means have 'fits'.

"Uh huh. And the screaming?"

>..Also on occasion I will accidentally raise my voice without realizing it. Took a bad shot to the ear once, and I occasionally have ringing noises in it. I do apologize if I seem loud-

'So THERE my thong is! 18!'

"I was just trying it on!"

'Come on! That's the only one that makes my ass look at least a little big!'

"Nothing could make your ass look big."

'Yuh-huh! See!'

"...Okay, fine, it does perk it up a LITTLE. Just a little."

'Right? And isn't it just the cutest? Look at how it it does that little stretchy thing when I swing it!'

"Fine, point, it looks good. Really good."

'No more stealing my good ones! Steal the red one, that one just keeps falling off.'

"Oh? Did you accidentally wander into the 'children' section?"

'Ah hah. Ah hah. Love you too, 18.'

"...That mare, I swear, she has no idea how lucky-OH COME ON!"

>...W-what?

"Blood is just POURING out of your nose! Are you serious!?"

>...N-nasal wound, never healed right.

"Oh yeah? Move from that spot."

>...My leg wounds are acting up.

"For fucks sake!"
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>Chrysalis
"42"
~~~~

>What, did you just feel like "Hey, you know what? My odds just weren't terrible enough! The unlikeliness has been doubled!"

"...No idea what you mean."
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NC
>Cadence
"42"
~~~~

>Oh! Hey, you know, I don't really know anything about fighting, I realize. Maybe I should get some training in, like you did with Shiny! I don't think I'll ever be great at it, but maybe we can start with the basics?

"Well, I suppose that would be understandable-"

>We can do grapples first! Just don't pin me too hard, my wings are sensitive.

"....Nope."
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>PD
"R&D guy"
~~~~

>...Huh.

"Yeah, as it turns out? Those 're-stabilizing gyros' we use for our killer robots? Amazing for, you know, jacks. Just... jacks. Jacks that lift stuff off the ground. You push this little part and it can move stuff over three metric tons."

>...Huh.

"It's selling like crazy, you know."

>So it is...

"...You want me to keep trying to make the laser beam, don't you?"

>Well, I mean, if you don't mind.

"Can I at least use my lens research and put it towards, I don't know, binoculars?"

>My good sir, I applaud multitasking.
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>Dadling
"Batmom"
~~~~~

>I'm just saying, on the whole these baby names are stupid.

"Everyone you know literally has the same name plus a number."

>Not all of them!... 77 is just 77. And I think Jugglejack changed his name to, well, Jugglejack.

"He still in denial, by the way?"

>Like you would not believe.

"How bad?"

>42 level.

*Whistles* "That's bad."

>Complete with screaming.

"Well, on the positive side I think Suckerpunch is done being in denial."

>Is he? Great. Did not need 41 to keep being MORE similar to 42.

"I know, it's just SO WEIRD that a changeling would mimic someone!"

>Sarcasm is unbefitting a guard.

"Oh? And what are you going to do about it?"

>Forty lashes!

"Ooooh, don't tease."
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