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- <h1 class="story-title entry-title" itemprop="headline">Échange avec ce mec qui m’a reproché d’être une femme avec de l’humour</h1>
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- Par <span class="author" itemprop="author">Tifaine P</span> | <time class="post-date" itemprop="datePublished" datetime="22-11-2017" pubdate>22 novembre 2017</time> | <span class="entry-comments-link">21 Commentaires</span>
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- <p class="chapo">L'humour chez les femmes continue parfois de faire peur, que ce soit lorsqu'elles décident d'en faire leur métier ou, comme ici... dans la vie de Tifaine, un soir, dans un bar. </p>
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- <aside class="mashsb-container mashsb-main "><div class="mashsb-box"><div class="mashsb-count mash-large" style="float:left;"><div class="counts mashsbcount">421</div><span class="mashsb-sharetext">PARTAGES</span></div><div class="mashsb-buttons"><a class="mashicon-facebook mash-large mashsb-noshadow" href="https://www.facebook.com/sharer.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.madmoizelle.com%2Fechange-femme-humour-856905" target="_blank" rel="nofollow"><span class="icon"></span><span class="text">Facebook</span></a><a class="mashicon-pinterest mash-large mashsb-noshadow" href="#" data-mashsb-url="https://pinterest.com/pin/create/button/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.madmoizelle.com%2Fechange-femme-humour-856905&media=https%3A%2F%2Fstatic.mmzstatic.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2017%2F11%2Fe%CC%81change-feme-humour.jpeg&description=L%27humour+chez+les+femmes+continue+parfois+de+faire+peur%2C+que+ce+soit+lorsqu%27elles+d%C3%A9cident+d%27en+faire+leur+m%C3%A9tier+ou%2C+comme+ici...+dans+la+vie+de+Tifaine%2C+un+soir%2C+dans+un+bar." target="_blank" rel="nofollow"><span class="icon"></span><span class="text">Pinterest</span></a><a class="mashicon-twitter mash-large mashsb-noshadow" href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=%C3%89change%20avec%20ce%20mec%20qui%20m%E2%80%99a%20reproch%C3%A9%20d%E2%80%99%C3%AAtre%20une%20femme%20avec%20de%20l%E2%80%99humour&url=http://www.madmoizelle.com/echange-femme-humour-856905&via=madmoiZelle" target="_blank" rel="nofollow"><span class="icon"></span><span class="text">Twitter</span></a><a style="display:none;" class="mashicon-whatsapp mash-large mashsb-noshadow" href="whatsapp://send?text=%C3%89change%20avec%20ce%20mec%20qui%20m%E2%80%99a%20reproch%C3%A9%20d%E2%80%99%C3%AAtre%20une%20femme%20avec%20de%20l%E2%80%99humour%20http%3A%2F%2Fwww.madmoizelle.com%2Fechange-femme-humour-856905" target="_blank" rel="nofollow"><span class="icon"></span><span class="text">Whatsapp</span></a><div class="onoffswitch2 mash-large mashsb-noshadow" style="display:none;"></div></div></div>
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- <p>Il y a environ <strong>trois semaines</strong>, je suis modérément allée boire moult pintes avec une amie pour fêter le fait qu’on était jeudi soir et que pourquoi pas.</p>
- <p>Au détour de conversations intéressantes telles que : « <em>Est-ce que parfois tu penses que ton <a href="http://www.madmoizelle.com/motsclefs/chat" >chat</a> a des remords s’il n’a pas tué <a href="http://www.madmoizelle.com/araignee-mignonne-arachnophobie-853179" >l’araignée</a> comme tu lui as demandé ?</em> », un homme dans les environs des vingt-cinq ans est venu s’asseoir à côté de moi dans le but de <strong>tenter un début de conversation.</strong></p>
- <p>Sa phrase d’introduction : « <em>T’as pas de verre ?</em> », accompagné d’un visage <strong>aussi fermé qu’une coquille d’huître.</strong></p>
- <p>Amusée, je l’ai regardé à la fois en souriant et à la fois avec beaucoup d’émotion. C’était touchant de voir à quel point il semblait préoccupé par le fait qu’on puisse se trouver à un bar ET sans verre.</p>
- <p>Et avec<strong> tellement de délicatesse</strong>, qui plus est…</p>
- <p>La première chose que j’ai eu envie de lui répondre a été : « J’adore échanger avec des <em>gentlemen</em> comme vous. »</p>
- <p>Mais j’ai préféré jouer la carte du fait que<strong> j’avais un verre</strong>, sauf qu’il ne l’avait pas vu.</p>
- <p>Ma bière à la main (dans un verre), je réponds :</p>
- <blockquote><p>« Je ne sais pas, <strong>est-ce que ceci ressemble à un ventilateur ?</strong> »</p></blockquote>
- <p>Il m’a observée en fronçant les <a href="http://www.madmoizelle.com/sourcil-dore-colore-hiver-2017-854015" >sourcils</a> si fort que j’ai cru qu’ils allaient tomber. J’ai vite compris que la suite allait s’annoncer <strong>passionnante.</strong></p>
- <h3>« <em>Les femmes qui font de l’humour, je trouve ça gênant</em> »</h3>
- <p>Le mec n’a pas pris deux minutes avant de réagir au quart de tour.</p>
- <blockquote><p><strong>« C’est bizarre, comme phrase. »</strong></p></blockquote>
- <p>Ah, parce que venir m’aborder avec un ton désagréable au possible juste pour me lâcher « <em>T’as pas de verre ?</em> », c’est une base déontologique ?</p>
- <p>Lorsque je m’adresse à des personnes susceptibles ou <a href="http://www.madmoizelle.com/temoignage-premier-degre-507905" >premier degré</a>, <strong>mon second degré à moi se multiplie par 10.</strong></p>
- <p>Je lui réponds :</p>
- <blockquote><p>« Tu sais, même le mot bizarre est bizarre, alors… »</p></blockquote>
- <p>Il a bu une gorgée et m’a regardée comme si j’étais subitement passée de <strong>cible de <a href="http://www.madmoizelle.com/drague-malsaine-671795" >drague</a> potentielle à énorme relou qui parle trop.</strong></p>
- <blockquote><p><strong>« T’es une comique, toi sale féminazie. » </strong></p></blockquote>
- <p>Le moment que j’attendais.</p>
- <blockquote><p>« Absolument, je me produis régulièrement sur les scènes d’Esch-sur-Alzette au Luxembourg. »</p></blockquote>
- <p>À ma voix, il entend que je ne le prends <strong>pas du tout au sérieux.</strong></p>
- <blockquote><p>« Et ça t’insupporte pas ? »</p></blockquote>
- <p>Ah, là, ça m’intéresse.</p>
- <blockquote><p>« Boh, le Luxembourg est un petit pays, mais ça sert à rien d’être si dur avec lui. »</p>
- </blockquote>
- <p>Plaît-il ?</p>
- <blockquote><p>« <strong>Désolé,</strong> <strong>les nanas qui font de <a href="http://www.madmoizelle.com/motsclefs/humour" >l’humour</a>, je trouve ça gênant.</strong> »</p></blockquote>
- <p>Dans le mille.</p>
- <blockquote><p>« Hm, si j’avais réellement été <a href="http://www.madmoizelle.com/motsclefs/stand-up" ><em>stand’upeuse</em></a> au Luxembourg, j’aurais pu trouver ça vexant tu ne ferais pas partie de ce fameux forum de jeuxvideo.com par hasard? »</p></blockquote>
- <p>Je ne m’énerve pas car en général je ne prends la mouche que si la situation est très offensante voire « grave ».</p>
- <p>Mais dans ce cas, je suis plutôt entre <strong>sentiment de fascination et volonté de comprendre le fonctionnement de mon prochain.</strong></p>
- <p>Sauf que comme l’humour féminin semble le déranger légèrement, je n’oublie pas d’y avoir <strong>un peu recours de temps à autre.</strong></p>
- <h3>« <em>Oui et les femmes drôles me donnent le sentiment d’être dominé</em> »</h3>
- <p>La conversation se poursuit.</p>
- <blockquote><p>« T’as très bien compris que je te demandais si ce n’est pas le fait d’être toujours dans la répartie comique qui t’insupporte. »</p>
- <p>« Désolé, ma psychanalyste m’a déjà posé la question avant toi. »</p></blockquote>
- <p>Il esquisse un sourire désespéré. Je relance :</p>
- <blockquote><p>« Tu vois, <strong>c’est cool d’être drôle.</strong> Tu faisais la gueule et maintenant tu souris ! »</p>
- <p><strong>« Mais en fait, ça t’apporte quoi ? »</strong></p></blockquote>
- <p>Je décide de devenir plus sérieuse. D’abord parce que je le sens radouci, ensuite parce qu’il semble porter <strong>un réel intérêt à tout ça.</strong></p>
- <p>Je réponds donc :</p>
- <blockquote><p>« Et pourquoi ça devrait forcément m’apporter quelque chose ? <strong>Quand tes potes te font des blagues, tu n’aimes pas rire ?</strong></p>
- <p>Et quand toi tu fais des blagues, t’as l’impression d’attendre quelque chose en retour ? (Bon, si les gens rient, c’est mieux. Les bides, c’est jamais le must. ) »</p></blockquote>
- <p>Et lui :</p>
- <blockquote><p>« Non, mais je sais pas. <strong>Quand c’est une femme, je trouve ça plus dérangeant. C’est pas sexy.</strong> »</p></blockquote>
- <p><em>PAS. SEXY.</em> C’est à la fois exactement la réponse que j’attendais et celle qui allait m’exaspérer.</p>
- <blockquote><p>« Regarde, toi, <strong>t’es super mignonne, mais t’arrêtes pas de me tâcler. C’est pas cool.</strong> »</p></blockquote>
- <p>Nous y voilà.</p>
- <blockquote><p>« Donc en fait, <strong>c’est une histoire d’ego.</strong> »</p>
- <p>« Non, même si ça me concerne pas, <strong>les femmes bruyantes qui se donnent en <a href="http://www.madmoizelle.com/motsclefs/spectacle" >spectacle</a>, ça me pose problème.</strong> »</p></blockquote>
- <p>Je vois exactement à qui j’ai affaire.</p>
- <blockquote><p>« Ça te pose problème parce que <strong>ça t’impressionne et que tu te sens décrédibilisé</strong>.</p>
- <p>Mais voilà mon grand, <strong>on est en 2017, et les femmes ont une voix.</strong> Faudra t’y faire. »</p></blockquote>
- <p>Il ressemble à un gosse à qui on inculquerait la vie.</p>
- <p>L’ironie, c’est que la notion « d’inculquer » <strong>m’a ramenée à celle de <a href="http://www.madmoizelle.com/motsclefs/education" >l’éducation</a></strong>, dont j’ai toujours reproché les méthodes dans la façon d’aborder les égalités hommes/femmes.</p>
- <p>Heureusement, les choses bougent.</p>
- <p>Mais dans le cas présent, j’étais confrontée à quelqu’un de touché qui <strong>ne supportait pas l’idée qu’une figure féminine soit plus imposante que lui.</strong></p>
- <p>Il m’a tout de même surprise lorsqu’il m’a répondu avec honnêteté :</p>
- <blockquote><p>« Ouais, elles me donnent <strong>peut-être le sentiment d’être dominé.</strong> »</p></blockquote>
- <p>Face à cette conclusion au fond de goût amer, j’ai préféré rester sur le fait que c’est lui-même qui l’avait établie et qu’il y avait peut-être une <strong>genèse de prise de conscience. </strong></p>
- <p>Je l’ai invité à se remettre en question et à se demander ce qu’il y avait de si grave dans l’histoire. Il a tourné les talons et s’en est allé.</p>
- <h3>De l’importance de passer outre</h3>
- <p>La conversation est restée diplomatique tout du long car je considère qu’il est plus important <a href="http://www.madmoizelle.com/feminisme-militantisme-pedagogie-276423" ><strong>de comprendre et partager que d’attaquer.</strong></a></p>
- <p>La preuve, nous avons su finir sur une note cordiale et à la fin, il ne s’emballait même <strong>presque plus</strong> lorsque je le titillais.</p>
- <p>Bon, il était pas non plus entrain de se défoncer les zygomatiques ni de me lâcher des grosses tapes dans le dos à base de : « <em>Oh t’es con !</em> », mais c’était déjà une petite victoire.</p>
- <p>Ça n’empêche que ça m’a rappelé qu’aujourd’hui encore, <strong>les femmes sont jugées sur des critères physiques sans même qu’il n’existe une logique contextuelle.</strong></p>
- <p>« <em>T’es drôle, t’es pas sexy.</em> » –> <em>???</em></p>
- <p>Si beaucoup de femmes n’osent pas se lancer dans une carrière d’humoriste (toutes plateformes confondues), c’est peut-être aussi parce que <strong>des <a href="http://www.madmoizelle.com/regard-autres-fleau-societe-610201" >jugements</a> comme ceux auxquels j’ai été confrontée ce soir-là peuvent être décourageants. </strong></p>
- <p>Et c’est très triste.</p>
- <p>De la même façon, celles qui ont déjà osé expliquent recevoir <strong>régulièrement plus de critiques négatives et d’insultes </strong>en comparaison de leurs collègues masculins, souvent portées sur l’apparence.</p>
- <p>(Un <a href="http://www.slate.fr/life/78160/youtube-femmes-harcelement" onclick="__gaTracker('send', 'event', 'outbound-article', 'http://www.slate.fr/life/78160/youtube-femmes-harcelement', 'article paru sur Slate');" target="_blank" rel="external nofollow" target="_blank" rel="noopener">article paru sur Slate</a> retrace d’ailleurs parfaitement la façon dont les femmes sont victimes de harcèlement sur YouTube)</p>
- <p>Mais hors thématique professionnelle, personne ne devrait se sentir le monopole d’avancer ce qui <strong>oui ou non devrait être attirant chez une femme, </strong>et encore moins ce qu’il faut modifier pour y parvenir.</p>
- <p><strong> Comme « être moins drôle »</strong></p>
- <p>Meilleur conseil : Si un mec vous sort qu’une zouz marrante c’est pas glamour, trouvez-en un qui ne vous sortira pas qu’une zouz marrante c’est pas glamour.</p>
- <p>(Ce que je veux dire c’est que <strong>ça existe,</strong> et qu’il n’y a <strong>que vous pour vous sentir bien avec qui vous êtes.</strong>)</p>
- <p>Pour en revenir au domaine pro, le poids des mots n’a d’importance que ce que l’on en fait et il est plus enrichissant de <strong>s’inspirer de ses modèles</strong> (qui ont franchi le cap de se lancer), que de <strong>bloquer sur des réflexions qui n’ont en fait aucun aboutissement réel.</strong></p>
- <p>Plus facile à dire qu’à faire, mais c’est en <strong>se soutenant les unes les autres</strong> (« uns » aussi) que de plus en plus de nénettes trouveront la force de se dépasser et <strong>d’aller à l’encontre des craintes qui les habitent.</strong></p>
- <p>Que ce soit en <strong>relayant</strong> les artistes féminines qu’on apprécie, par <strong>la création de spectacles</strong> qui mettent en avant ces artistes féminines comme le <a href="http://www.madmoizelle.com/one-mad-show-17-854843" >One Mad Show</a>, en<strong> incitant</strong> ses amies en qui on croit de lancer leur chaîne si elles y songent (par exemple) mais ont juste besoin <strong>d’encouragements… </strong></p>
- <p>Car il n’y a pas de raison. Car l’humour c’est <em>lol</em>. <strong>Par tout le monde et pour tout le monde, </strong>en toutes situations.</p>
- <p>Voilà, c’était le message gentil et <a href="http://www.madmoizelle.com/empouvoirement-empowerment-definition-566369" ><strong>empouvoirant</strong></a> de la journée. La bise !</p>
- <p class="alire"><span><strong>À lire aussi : </strong></span><a href='http://www.madmoizelle.com/guide-survie-personne-maladroite-854203'>Comment survivre lorsqu’on est une personne maladroite ?</a></p>
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- <p class="name_author">Tifaine P</p>
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