Finicky Science

Magic is an incredibly finicky thing. So finicky that for the millennia that magic was known of, it was totally avoided by natural philosophers and scientists. Its rules seemed so random, its effects so unnatural. Wizards, witches, and other magic-practicing folk similarly steered clear of any scientific approach to understanding magic, instead choosing to rely on intuition and apocrypha. It took two incredibly stupid, brilliant fellows to figure out that the combination of science and magic was possible.

The dawn of the industrial age and scientific revolution had brought coffeehouses into existence to rival pubs and bars. Generally, these represented rooms full of the smartest minds throwing ideas into the air and seeing if they'd stick. Another mind would take the idea, pull out a scrap of paper and a quill, and start jotting down what the implications of the idea could be. These were the hidden engines of intellectual thought, surpassed only by crunch-time at the university.

But one day, a couple of friends visiting the city of Tidmouth had misunderstood what "coffeehouse" meant as they drunkenly waddled inside and ordered "The best drink you've got." Within a few minutes the two friends were given tall glasses of Dudric Sizzler. A magical beverage, Sizzler uses a set of enchantments and caffeine to boost the energy and intelligence of the consumer. And so for the first time in their lives, Korlo Rackson and Johnathan Lowell actually had a useful thought.

"So you know how we're drinking a magic drink?" Said John

"Yeah," said Korlo.

"In a scientific institution," said John.

"Yeah."

"Well what if we tried to use science...," started John,

"...to explain magic?" finished Korlo. The conversations throughout the coffeehouse halted immediately. Everyone stared at the duo.

"Are you *mad*!?" yelled a physicist.

"That is positively absurd!" said an astronomer. "Magic is not the business of a philosopher of the *natural* sciences."

Korlo raised his eyebrow. "So no one had even, you know, *tried* to do a scientific magic?"

The astronomer furrowed his brow and twitched his eye. "You'd have to be insane to attempt it!"

"Hey... hey Korlo. I know what we're gonna do in the morning," he said.

The next morning (and indeed the next two days), the duo lay in their beds, immensely agonized with the worst hangover they had ever felt. The author remarked that he was trying to make a space fantasy story, but he guessed it didn't quite pan out that way.