Like a Boss

1
00:00:34,660 --> 00:00:36,471
<i>What? He was just at the bar</i>

2
00:00:36,495 --> 00:00:38,202
<i>without any security or anything?</i>

3
00:00:38,288 --> 00:00:40,183
Wait, I haven't
gotten to the best part.

4
00:00:40,207 --> 00:00:42,119
Next thing I know,
we're in his hotel room,

5
00:00:42,209 --> 00:00:44,917
and he's lathering up my titties
with that little bar of soap.

6
00:00:45,003 --> 00:00:47,461
<i>It's crazy, because
I'm not even attracted to him.</i>

7
00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:48,584
He's got no ass.

8
00:00:48,674 --> 00:00:50,631
- You're more of an ass girl.
<i>- Exactly.</i>

9
00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:54,131
I like my men to have ass, indeed.
Okay?

10
00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:55,507
I don't care if they can read.

11
00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:58,264
But let me state,

12
00:00:58,350 --> 00:01:00,967
Barack Obama straight fucked
the shit out of me.

13
00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:03,098
- What?
- But I couldn't even enjoy it.

14
00:01:03,188 --> 00:01:05,896
I was feeling so bad
for Michelle the whole time.

15
00:01:05,983 --> 00:01:09,727
I told you not to read her book.
It's ruined all my fantasies about him.

16
00:01:09,820 --> 00:01:12,858
I can block out his mom jeans,
but not Sasha and Malia.

17
00:01:15,117 --> 00:01:16,483
What was his dick like this time?

18
00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:18,409
It was dignified and confident.

19
00:01:18,495 --> 00:01:20,077
That dick was presidential.

20
00:01:20,163 --> 00:01:22,280
- You want to shower first?
- Your hair takes longer.

21
00:01:22,374 --> 00:01:23,990
I'm just gonna dry shampoo.

22
00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:26,667
Why? It's not even greasy yet.
You're good.

23
00:01:26,753 --> 00:01:28,119
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.

24
00:01:29,214 --> 00:01:32,173
Why is dream sex way better than real sex?

25
00:01:32,259 --> 00:01:34,091
Because they come when you want them to.

26
00:01:34,177 --> 00:01:36,009
Girl, that is so true!

27
00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:38,554
When I'm done, they're done!
Hello!

28
00:01:40,058 --> 00:01:41,469
<i>♪ Oh, here it goes ♪</i>

29
00:01:46,481 --> 00:01:48,347
<i>♪ I feel like fire ♪</i>

30
00:01:50,485 --> 00:01:52,067
<i>♪ I feel like rain ♪</i>

31
00:01:54,281 --> 00:01:57,740
<i>♪ I can take you higher ♪</i>

32
00:01:57,826 --> 00:01:59,317
<i>♪ But you gotta earn it ♪</i>

33
00:02:01,079 --> 00:02:03,116
<i>♪ Whoo, I'm lit
Don't mess with it ♪</i>

34
00:02:03,206 --> 00:02:05,198
<i>♪ Whoo, stand back
Let me do my shit ♪</i>

35
00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:06,954
<i>♪ Whoo, I'm lit
Don't mess with it ♪</i>

36
00:02:07,044 --> 00:02:08,535
<i>♪ Whoo ♪</i>

37
00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:11,337
<i>♪ Hands to the sky ♪</i>

38
00:02:12,341 --> 00:02:15,379
<i>♪ Show me that you're mine ♪</i>

39
00:02:16,261 --> 00:02:19,004
<i>♪ Hands to the sky ♪</i>

40
00:02:20,015 --> 00:02:23,258
<i>♪ Show me that you're mine ♪</i>

41
00:02:23,352 --> 00:02:24,934
<i>♪ And baby, worship me ♪</i>

42
00:02:28,023 --> 00:02:29,230
<i>♪ Worship me ♪</i>

43
00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:33,650
<i>♪ Patiently, quietly ♪</i>

44
00:02:33,737 --> 00:02:35,273
<i>♪ Faithfully, worship me ♪</i>

45
00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:40,361
- Hey.
- Hey.

46
00:02:40,452 --> 00:02:41,659
How was your night, Syd?

47
00:02:41,745 --> 00:02:42,952
Yeah, how was that muffuletta?

48
00:02:43,038 --> 00:02:46,406
Oh, well, I ended up
eating the whole thing.

49
00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:50,710
And then I realized I didn't take
the paper out between the cheese slices.

50
00:02:50,796 --> 00:02:52,378
So I'm a little backed up.

51
00:02:53,298 --> 00:02:54,755
- That's okay. Good fiber.
- Mm-hmm.

52
00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:56,548
You're probably gonna shit a novel.

53
00:02:56,635 --> 00:02:57,967
Oh, God, I sure hope so.

54
00:02:59,429 --> 00:03:02,513
Wow, Syd. Let me step in
for a minute. Can I tap you out?

55
00:03:02,599 --> 00:03:04,886
Guess what? We have the best
makeup artist in the house.

56
00:03:04,976 --> 00:03:06,808
One of the owners.

57
00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:09,057
- Hey, B.
- Hey, girl, how you doing?

58
00:03:09,147 --> 00:03:11,309
Did you finish up that
last batch of plum lipsticks?

59
00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:12,436
Uh-huh.

60
00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:14,188
Oh, my God.

61
00:03:14,277 --> 00:03:16,189
When did Mia mix that?
It's gorgeous.

62
00:03:16,279 --> 00:03:17,815
I know, right? She's a genius.

63
00:03:17,906 --> 00:03:19,442
It's infuriating.

64
00:03:20,575 --> 00:03:21,816
These aren't done yet.

65
00:03:21,910 --> 00:03:23,526
She didn't finish the mascaras?

66
00:03:24,454 --> 00:03:27,197
I don't like snitching on
your non-sexual life partner.

67
00:03:27,290 --> 00:03:28,872
Yes, you do, Barret.

68
00:03:28,959 --> 00:03:31,793
She ate some weed candy
and said she'd finish tomorrow.

69
00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:35,087
Okay. I'll clean it up in a bit.

70
00:03:35,173 --> 00:03:37,790
- So, where you headed to tonight?
- Uh, homecoming.

71
00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:39,841
Homecoming!
Okay, what color is your dress?

72
00:03:39,928 --> 00:03:41,698
- White and gold.
- White and gold...

73
00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:45,511
All right, so now
let's finish those eyebrows off.

74
00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:49,765
They're great brows, too.
Never ever pluck them too much, okay?

75
00:03:49,855 --> 00:03:52,222
'Cause thick is where it's at!

76
00:03:52,691 --> 00:03:54,774
- So gorgeous.
- Thank you.

77
00:03:54,860 --> 00:03:56,897
- Homecoming, I hear?
- Yes.

78
00:03:56,987 --> 00:03:59,274
- Can I see?
- First, I want you to say,

79
00:03:59,364 --> 00:04:02,948
"I'm a badass bitch.
Look at me and bow down."

80
00:04:03,034 --> 00:04:04,150
But don't tell your mom.

81
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:06,201
I'm a senior. Give me a fucking break.

82
00:04:06,288 --> 00:04:07,449
Oh, sorry.

83
00:04:07,539 --> 00:04:08,575
Okay.

84
00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:11,829
I'm a badass bitch.
Look at me and bow down.

85
00:04:11,918 --> 00:04:13,705
Yes! Take a look.

86
00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:15,537
Oh, my God.

87
00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:17,455
That's me!

88
00:04:17,549 --> 00:04:20,292
And remember, no sex tonight, okay?

89
00:04:20,385 --> 00:04:21,626
Homecoming sex is the worst.

90
00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:24,133
Because your date gets to dancing,
they get all sweaty,

91
00:04:24,222 --> 00:04:25,908
and that sweat gets trapped
under their cummerbund,

92
00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:29,425
then that moves down to Funkytown,
and that's how you get a yeast infection.

93
00:04:29,519 --> 00:04:31,511
And you don't want a yeast infection.

94
00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:34,897
Plus, you know, you're only super tight
for a limited time,

95
00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:36,645
so you don't want to waste it.

96
00:04:36,735 --> 00:04:37,816
Amen!

97
00:04:40,906 --> 00:04:42,738
Thanks so much for everything.

98
00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:44,315
- All right.
- Bye, baby.

99
00:04:44,409 --> 00:04:46,776
- You look gorgeous!
- Have fun tonight. Be safe!

100
00:04:46,870 --> 00:04:49,157
If you not safe, name it after me.

101
00:04:49,247 --> 00:04:51,239
What... You didn't charge her
the full amount.

102
00:04:51,333 --> 00:04:52,824
We gave her the cute nerd discount.

103
00:04:53,585 --> 00:04:54,792
We've talked about this.

104
00:04:54,878 --> 00:04:56,915
Guys, we're barely keeping
our heads above water.

105
00:04:57,005 --> 00:04:58,005
We're doing fine.

106
00:04:58,089 --> 00:04:59,955
The One Night Stand kit
is selling like crazy.

107
00:05:00,050 --> 00:05:01,882
Yeah. I can't make them fast enough.

108
00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:04,676
I know. Maybe that's the problem.

109
00:05:04,763 --> 00:05:06,971
But if you can't get it,
that's what makes it cool.

110
00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:09,595
Yeah. People love being denied.

111
00:05:09,684 --> 00:05:11,516
Quality is what we do, right?

112
00:05:11,603 --> 00:05:14,516
I mean, we don't want to mess up
our street cred. Right?

113
00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:16,806
Right. Right.

114
00:05:17,692 --> 00:05:19,337
All right, well,
we're going to Kim's baby shower.

115
00:05:19,361 --> 00:05:20,442
See you guys tomorrow.

116
00:05:21,905 --> 00:05:24,989
Actually, no. We'll be back.
We'll see you this afternoon.

117
00:05:25,075 --> 00:05:27,488
Okay! See you tomorrow!

118
00:05:30,914 --> 00:05:32,200
<i>♪ Don't get too attached ♪</i>

119
00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:34,165
<i>♪ I love 'em, leave 'em ♪</i>

120
00:05:34,251 --> 00:05:37,164
<i>♪ And I never call 'em back ♪</i>

121
00:05:37,254 --> 00:05:41,589
<i>♪ I'm bout my paper, run it up
I chase my bag ♪</i>

122
00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:48,133
Kim's house get even bigger?

123
00:05:48,223 --> 00:05:50,465
She probably had
one of those Japanese toilets installed

124
00:05:50,559 --> 00:05:52,095
that blow-dry your coochie.

125
00:05:54,312 --> 00:05:55,723
Wow.

126
00:05:55,814 --> 00:05:58,101
It must be nice having money.

127
00:05:58,859 --> 00:05:59,895
Hi!

128
00:05:59,985 --> 00:06:01,692
Hey!

129
00:06:03,405 --> 00:06:06,068
Hey!

130
00:06:06,157 --> 00:06:08,524
You guys are so sweet
to always do our makeup.

131
00:06:08,618 --> 00:06:10,530
We want you to look good, and you do.

132
00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:13,363
- You look real good, pregnant girl!
- Oh, thank you.

133
00:06:13,456 --> 00:06:15,163
I actually feel amazing.

134
00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:17,412
Just wait.

135
00:06:17,502 --> 00:06:21,712
Little Ryder. He's such a little
cuddle bug, and so chubby!

136
00:06:21,798 --> 00:06:24,336
I know. His little fat folds
catch all the food I eat.

137
00:06:24,426 --> 00:06:25,962
Same, girl. Same over here.

138
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:27,502
Hi.

139
00:06:27,596 --> 00:06:29,713
Hi. Perfect timing!

140
00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:32,469
- Where should I put it?
- Over here is great. Come on in.

141
00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:34,346
What did you guys do?

142
00:06:34,436 --> 00:06:37,645
This is a little something...
to show your future.

143
00:06:38,773 --> 00:06:40,084
What the...?

144
00:06:40,108 --> 00:06:42,065
Oh, my God.

145
00:06:42,152 --> 00:06:43,233
Oh.

146
00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:45,858
Is this vagina eating
this poor baby doll's head?

147
00:06:45,947 --> 00:06:48,405
Is this chocolate sprinkles your pubes?

148
00:06:48,491 --> 00:06:51,359
Oh, my God. This is so beautiful.

149
00:06:51,453 --> 00:06:54,116
You talking about
this frosted replica of your vagina?

150
00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:57,706
- That's exactly what it looks like.
- Ew.

151
00:06:57,792 --> 00:06:59,749
I got completely waxed, though.

152
00:06:59,836 --> 00:07:01,498
I want a clean work space for the doctor.

153
00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:04,547
That is so considerate!
I made them find it.

154
00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:07,416
I can't believe
you don't want one of these.

155
00:07:07,510 --> 00:07:10,594
- You talking about a pussy cake?
- No, a baby!

156
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:13,297
- You know our business is our baby.
- Hell, yeah.

157
00:07:13,391 --> 00:07:14,973
I know, but I just get worried

158
00:07:15,060 --> 00:07:17,768
that you guys are gonna
wait too long and miss out.

159
00:07:17,854 --> 00:07:20,471
- We got time.
- Yeah, Janet Jackson had a baby at 50.

160
00:07:20,565 --> 00:07:23,933
Exactly. And you can have
a successful career and a baby.

161
00:07:24,027 --> 00:07:25,643
I'm doing both.

162
00:07:25,737 --> 00:07:28,275
I'm losing my fucking mind!

163
00:07:28,365 --> 00:07:31,052
I had a dream last night that
Ryder was crawling around on the floor.

164
00:07:31,076 --> 00:07:33,238
There were a bunch of mousetraps,

165
00:07:33,328 --> 00:07:35,991
and they kept taking
pieces of him away from me

166
00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:37,868
until there was nothing left.

167
00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:39,574
Oh, you got to do it!

168
00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:43,456
So how is the business going?

169
00:07:43,546 --> 00:07:45,629
I mean, we don't have shit tons of money,

170
00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:46,876
but we're doing pretty great.

171
00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:48,799
Oh, really? Seriously?

172
00:07:48,885 --> 00:07:50,751
- Okay.
- So... you're okay?

173
00:07:50,845 --> 00:07:52,336
Online sales are very strong.

174
00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:55,218
And the store?
Is business picking up there?

175
00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:58,597
Well, homecoming season just started,
so we're getting those clients.

176
00:07:58,687 --> 00:08:01,145
- You guys should come and check it out!
- For sure.

177
00:08:01,231 --> 00:08:04,269
- Oh, cute!
- Thank you, Aunt Margot.

178
00:08:04,359 --> 00:08:06,319
Okay, what's next, what's next?

179
00:08:06,361 --> 00:08:09,604
- This one is from Mel and Mia.
- Oh, my God.

180
00:08:11,366 --> 00:08:14,154
"Baby's First Makeup Kit."

181
00:08:14,244 --> 00:08:15,610
So cute.

182
00:08:15,704 --> 00:08:18,117
A little baby lipstick.

183
00:08:18,206 --> 00:08:21,199
Yeah, babies can use it.
Makes 'em look smaller.

184
00:08:21,292 --> 00:08:24,080
- I'm gonna steal that baby's makeup.
- I know.

185
00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:26,127
Oh, my goodness, this is so clever.

186
00:08:26,214 --> 00:08:27,817
- Where'd you get this?
- We made it.

187
00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:30,333
- We have our own makeup company.
- Good for you.

188
00:08:30,427 --> 00:08:33,170
My youngest daughter
sold her alkaline water company

189
00:08:33,263 --> 00:08:35,095
for four million dollars.

190
00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:36,422
- Wha?
- Mm-hmm.

191
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:38,202
Have you had a valuation
of your company yet?

192
00:08:38,226 --> 00:08:40,183
No, not yet, Aunt Margot.

193
00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:42,728
Oh, well, don't worry.
It comes at a cost.

194
00:08:42,814 --> 00:08:44,771
She's always been so driven.

195
00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:48,101
You know, she just had
her first baby last year.

196
00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:51,320
Well, congratulations, Grandma Margot.

197
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:54,740
Thank you.

198
00:08:54,826 --> 00:08:55,826
Uh-huh.

199
00:08:55,910 --> 00:08:58,072
What a rude-ass woman!

200
00:08:58,163 --> 00:08:59,244
What does she do?

201
00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:02,038
She just gives her rich old husband
hand jobs? I mean...

202
00:09:02,125 --> 00:09:04,367
I love when you get mad like this.

203
00:09:04,461 --> 00:09:07,078
I wish you would do this in
people's faces. Why you don't do that?

204
00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:10,665
- 'Cause I got you for that.
- This is true. I got your back.

205
00:09:10,759 --> 00:09:12,671
She didn't know
what she was talking about.

206
00:09:12,761 --> 00:09:15,048
- Mm-hmm.
- "My daughter with the uranium..."

207
00:09:15,138 --> 00:09:17,255
- You mean alkaline.
- Wasn't it uranium?

208
00:09:17,348 --> 00:09:19,510
No, she said alkaline.
Alkaline water.

209
00:09:19,601 --> 00:09:21,888
Trying to get people's pH balance right.

210
00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:23,560
- I can't believe her.
- Mm-hmm.

211
00:09:23,646 --> 00:09:25,262
Let's keep it one hundred.

212
00:09:25,356 --> 00:09:27,348
Her daughter a ho.

213
00:09:27,442 --> 00:09:30,526
Let's just keep it one hundred.
You know who she look like?

214
00:09:30,612 --> 00:09:34,071
She look like a messed-up Betty White.

215
00:09:34,157 --> 00:09:36,302
You know who she really looked like?
George Washington.

216
00:09:36,326 --> 00:09:39,865
Yes! Like she straight off
the Quaker Oats box.

217
00:09:42,499 --> 00:09:45,162
I just look at her,
and I want to start boiling water.

218
00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:51,293
- I got to open the window.
- It is kinda smoky.

219
00:09:52,634 --> 00:09:55,251
Man, I feel like eating
some oatmeal right now!

220
00:09:55,345 --> 00:09:58,838
You feel me? Put some butter
and brown sugar in it.

221
00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:00,764
Yeah, I got the munchies.

222
00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:03,517
Is that your stomach?

223
00:10:04,562 --> 00:10:06,303
It's Ryder.

224
00:10:06,397 --> 00:10:09,105
- What?
- Somebody's here. Hi!

225
00:10:10,568 --> 00:10:12,400
- Mm. Let me put this out.
- Wait, wait, wait.

226
00:10:12,487 --> 00:10:13,773
- Okay.
- Wow.

227
00:10:14,531 --> 00:10:15,531
Girl.

228
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,072
- He was so quiet.
- I know.

229
00:10:17,158 --> 00:10:18,918
We didn't even
see him in there at all.

230
00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:21,194
- Girl, put that shit out.
- Oh, sorry.

231
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:22,539
Ow!

232
00:10:22,540 --> 00:10:24,622
- Damn, girl.
- Oh, shit.

233
00:10:24,707 --> 00:10:29,247
Oh, my God.
That baby look like he smoking.

234
00:10:30,713 --> 00:10:33,626
- Wait, wait, wait. Hold up. Hold up.
- No.

235
00:10:33,716 --> 00:10:36,003
Let me get this. Look at that.

236
00:10:36,094 --> 00:10:38,197
- Look at it.
- That's terrible. We're terrible people.

237
00:10:38,221 --> 00:10:40,508
We're not terrible people.
That baby sleeping good.

238
00:10:40,598 --> 00:10:42,965
He probably gonna be a philosopher
when he grow up.

239
00:10:47,730 --> 00:10:51,644
You shouldn't be sick of them.
Just watch Ryder. He sleeps...

240
00:10:51,734 --> 00:10:55,148
Oh, shoot.
Here they come. We got to hide.

241
00:10:55,238 --> 00:10:56,695
You need to see a baby sleep to...

242
00:10:56,781 --> 00:10:58,317
Out the window, let's go.

243
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:01,742
Come on.
Come on, come on.

244
00:11:02,745 --> 00:11:03,986
Ah!

245
00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:05,161
- Ah!
- Shoot.

246
00:11:05,248 --> 00:11:06,580
Okay.

247
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:09,909
I love our friends,
but I can't handle the judgment today.

248
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:12,541
I think... I can do it.
I can jump in the pool. Let's go.

249
00:11:12,630 --> 00:11:13,791
- We can make it.
- Hell, no!

250
00:11:13,882 --> 00:11:15,544
Come on. Let's do it.
Let's do it.

251
00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:19,297
- What is that... smell? Is that weed? Kim!
- Ahh.

252
00:11:19,387 --> 00:11:22,300
Oh, no, somebody's
been smoking weed in here.

253
00:11:22,390 --> 00:11:24,973
Who smokes weed in front of a baby?

254
00:11:25,059 --> 00:11:27,142
- Kim!
- What's going on?

255
00:11:27,604 --> 00:11:29,266
Is somebody out here?

256
00:11:31,357 --> 00:11:33,474
What in the literal fuck?

257
00:11:33,568 --> 00:11:34,684
Hi.

258
00:11:34,777 --> 00:11:36,894
Kim! Such a beautiful shower.

259
00:11:36,988 --> 00:11:39,105
- What did you guys do?
- Nothing!

260
00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:41,782
I'm so sorry,
but I don't think he was inhaling.

261
00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:43,668
- What?
- It was just a tiny little bit.

262
00:11:43,745 --> 00:11:46,909
He didn't...
My baby was dead for, like, a minute?

263
00:11:46,998 --> 00:11:48,739
No. Your baby is fine.
Not high, nothing.

264
00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:51,246
You guys, why didn't you
invite me to smoke with you?

265
00:11:51,336 --> 00:11:53,828
You know what?
We are not in college anymore, okay?

266
00:11:53,922 --> 00:11:56,335
None of y'all bitches
is better than us, okay?

267
00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:57,790
All y'all got issues.

268
00:11:57,884 --> 00:11:59,625
You know what else we got?
We have homes.

269
00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:01,585
Because we have actual accountants.

270
00:12:01,679 --> 00:12:05,673
And not just using TurboTax.
The trial disk of TurboTax!

271
00:12:05,767 --> 00:12:07,633
You should get at least the full version.

272
00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:09,889
- Mel, you are a mess.
- You stay off of Mel.

273
00:12:09,979 --> 00:12:11,845
Y'all need to understand, okay,

274
00:12:11,940 --> 00:12:13,660
this is my friend,
and she is a good person.

275
00:12:13,691 --> 00:12:15,711
If it wasn't for her,
we wouldn't even have a storefront,

276
00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:16,921
'cause she got the good credit.

277
00:12:16,945 --> 00:12:18,937
So don't you talk shit about my friend!

278
00:12:19,030 --> 00:12:20,237
Are you fucking kidding me?

279
00:12:20,323 --> 00:12:22,440
You clowns need to get your shit together!

280
00:12:22,533 --> 00:12:27,119
- Ooh. Well...
- bitch!

281
00:12:27,205 --> 00:12:30,073
- What are you doing?
- Girl, I'm not messing up this good hair.

282
00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:32,158
Here you go, Auntie Margot!

283
00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:34,619
We're out of here. Come on, girl!

284
00:12:34,712 --> 00:12:37,204
Whoa!

285
00:12:42,220 --> 00:12:44,837
- That's not her real hair?
- No, it's a cultural thing.

286
00:12:48,017 --> 00:12:49,804
<i>♪ Flip it, smack it ♪</i>

287
00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:51,010
<i>♪ Smack it, ooh, yeah ♪</i>

288
00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:52,390
Mia!

289
00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:54,517
<i>♪ You better
Flip that flapjack, flip it ♪</i>

290
00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:55,848
<i>♪ Flip it ♪</i>

291
00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:58,059
<i>♪ Smack it, smack it
Flip it, smack it ♪</i>

292
00:12:58,152 --> 00:12:59,984
Okay, just... too loud.

293
00:13:00,071 --> 00:13:02,859
Oh, my God, it's so loud.
Just 10% less.

294
00:13:02,949 --> 00:13:06,192
- It's the other half of Peanut M&Ms.
- What?

295
00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:07,493
'Cause you're M and M

296
00:13:07,578 --> 00:13:09,570
and your friendship
is so awesome, it's nuts!

297
00:13:09,664 --> 00:13:12,281
No, Harry.
That's very sweet, but, no.

298
00:13:12,375 --> 00:13:14,833
Sorry if my booty call
kept you up last night.

299
00:13:14,919 --> 00:13:17,332
- No, I slept fine.
- Oh, good.

300
00:13:17,422 --> 00:13:20,256
I had to work off that extra vagina cake.

301
00:13:20,341 --> 00:13:23,675
- Mm-hmm.
- Right on top of Harry.

302
00:13:23,761 --> 00:13:27,630
P.S. Harry's not really hairy.
He's smooth like a CPR dummy.

303
00:13:27,724 --> 00:13:29,590
Not really my type, but...

304
00:13:29,684 --> 00:13:32,392
You know, he can hear you, babe.
He's right there.

305
00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:34,094
Oh, no. Don't worry about my feelings.

306
00:13:34,188 --> 00:13:36,271
Mia and I are completely honest
with each other.

307
00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:38,849
This is the healthiest relationship
I've ever had. No contract.

308
00:13:38,943 --> 00:13:41,105
I'm so happy for both of you.

309
00:13:42,363 --> 00:13:43,695
She just a little bit bitter

310
00:13:43,781 --> 00:13:46,148
because she didn't grow up
with open communication.

311
00:13:46,242 --> 00:13:48,700
No, but I had your mom.
And she was the best.

312
00:13:48,786 --> 00:13:50,402
She was the coolest, Mia's mom.

313
00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:52,203
- What was she like?
- Super-duper dope.

314
00:13:52,290 --> 00:13:54,748
Actually, she left us this house
when she passed away.

315
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:56,395
- Love you, Ma!
- Love you, too, Ma.

316
00:13:56,419 --> 00:13:57,751
What does your mom do, Mel?

317
00:13:57,837 --> 00:14:00,045
- Meth, mostly.
- Yeah, she's a "cook."

318
00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:03,002
She's been clean since 2000-never.

319
00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:05,880
Her sense of humor's a little dark,
but I love it.

320
00:14:05,970 --> 00:14:07,211
Can I get a pancake, bro?

321
00:14:10,099 --> 00:14:11,385
Okay, Mel.

322
00:14:11,476 --> 00:14:12,967
Damn, looks like I ain't the only one

323
00:14:13,061 --> 00:14:15,178
that got broke off
with some dick last night.

324
00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:17,263
- Hi.
- Hi.

325
00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:18,598
Hey.

326
00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:22,685
Actually, uh, you have to go
because I'm going to church.

327
00:14:22,779 --> 00:14:25,772
Oh, okay.
Uh, can I call you?

328
00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:28,278
No. But thank you.

329
00:14:29,077 --> 00:14:30,943
- Bye.
- Oh.

330
00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:36,493
The door's just there.

331
00:14:36,584 --> 00:14:37,870
Okay.

332
00:14:40,797 --> 00:14:43,790
Damn, you got some dumb dick last night.

333
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:45,875
- Please.
- You guys are so cool.

334
00:14:45,968 --> 00:14:49,257
I love the idea of being your age someday
and still living with my dudes.

335
00:14:49,347 --> 00:14:52,511
- Huh? Ouch.
- I don't listen to nothing he says, girl.

336
00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:54,512
I just watch that velvety mouth move

337
00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:57,185
and think about it
all in my nooks and crannies.

338
00:14:59,982 --> 00:15:02,850
<i>Our friends have homes,
families, lives.</i>

339
00:15:02,944 --> 00:15:04,685
Is it weird that we're still roommates?

340
00:15:04,779 --> 00:15:07,863
Who cares if we still live together?
We are two badass queens,

341
00:15:07,949 --> 00:15:10,407
like those bitches who raised
Wonder Woman. We a tribe.

342
00:15:10,493 --> 00:15:12,109
Yeah. Right. We are?

343
00:15:12,203 --> 00:15:13,444
Yes!

344
00:15:13,538 --> 00:15:15,825
We shouldn't feel guilty
about putting our careers first.

345
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:17,872
We're just acting like men.

346
00:15:17,959 --> 00:15:20,702
We've worked our asses off,
we've opened our own store.

347
00:15:20,795 --> 00:15:21,795
We're winning.

348
00:15:21,879 --> 00:15:26,044
See, black girl, white girl,
to show we do both.

349
00:15:26,134 --> 00:15:28,251
Got it all together.

350
00:15:28,344 --> 00:15:30,131
Ah, there they are!

351
00:15:30,221 --> 00:15:31,632
Hey, ladies.

352
00:15:31,722 --> 00:15:35,011
The geniuses are back!

353
00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:36,717
You're acting weird.

354
00:15:36,811 --> 00:15:39,770
Oh, well, we were just
showing Josh the new changes

355
00:15:39,856 --> 00:15:41,267
to the website on Wix.

356
00:15:41,357 --> 00:15:44,065
Since he's... part of the industry.

357
00:15:44,152 --> 00:15:45,563
Sorry, we're not hiring.

358
00:15:45,653 --> 00:15:47,610
Are we all here now?
Let's do a roll call.

359
00:15:47,697 --> 00:15:49,188
Mia? Mel?

360
00:15:49,824 --> 00:15:50,824
Great.

361
00:15:50,908 --> 00:15:53,525
And Sydney. Featuring Barret.

362
00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:54,826
And who the hell are you?

363
00:15:54,912 --> 00:15:56,619
I'm here on behalf of Claire Luna.

364
00:15:57,331 --> 00:15:58,993
Oviedo Beauty Claire Luna?

365
00:15:59,083 --> 00:16:01,826
Oviedo Enterprises International
Claire Luna.

366
00:16:01,919 --> 00:16:03,080
Of course.

367
00:16:03,171 --> 00:16:04,481
Claire's been monitoring your online sales

368
00:16:04,505 --> 00:16:06,087
for the last several months.

369
00:16:06,174 --> 00:16:10,088
And this... is clever.

370
00:16:10,178 --> 00:16:11,965
Yes. One Night Stand,

371
00:16:12,054 --> 00:16:14,387
our single-use makeup kit
you can just throw in your bag.

372
00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:16,194
- It's our best seller.
- Claire likes this.

373
00:16:16,267 --> 00:16:19,931
And so she'd like to sit down with you
at her earliest convenience to

374
00:16:20,021 --> 00:16:21,512
discuss investing in your company.

375
00:16:21,606 --> 00:16:23,848
What? Are you serious?

376
00:16:25,568 --> 00:16:27,981
Obviously, Claire has excellent taste.

377
00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:31,814
But we started this business so that
we didn't have to answer to anyone.

378
00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:33,444
Thank you for stopping by.

379
00:16:33,534 --> 00:16:36,823
And you are the cleanest man
I've ever seen.

380
00:16:36,913 --> 00:16:39,405
- You should hit that, B.
- Please.

381
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,457
She's too much.

382
00:16:42,543 --> 00:16:44,660
Give me a second, I'll be right back.
Don't leave.

383
00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:53,674
You really do smell fresh and clean.

384
00:16:53,763 --> 00:16:57,632
You know, like a thermometer
before it goes in your butt.

385
00:16:57,725 --> 00:16:59,307
You don't even want to meet her?

386
00:16:59,393 --> 00:17:01,851
No. We said we'd never sell out.

387
00:17:01,938 --> 00:17:04,931
I know every time I talk about financials,
your eyes glaze over...

388
00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:08,859
Nope, I have chronic glazy eye.
That's from the weed. We know this.

389
00:17:08,945 --> 00:17:12,029
Right, well, I haven't figured out
a way to tell you this:

390
00:17:13,449 --> 00:17:16,317
We've never really recovered
since we opened the store.

391
00:17:16,410 --> 00:17:18,777
Stop it. You're being overly dramatic.

392
00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:22,364
Mia, if we keep going like this,
we're gonna have to close in six months.

393
00:17:31,008 --> 00:17:33,842
What the hell?
Y'all got birds in here?

394
00:17:33,928 --> 00:17:37,046
Don't mind the drones, they're a gift
from an admirer of Claire's.

395
00:17:37,139 --> 00:17:39,631
I'm not supposed to tell anyone who it is.

396
00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:41,387
Jack Dorsey. Of Twitter.

397
00:17:41,477 --> 00:17:43,514
Ooh. It's still like
you didn't tell anyone,

398
00:17:43,604 --> 00:17:45,244
'cause I don't know who the hell that is.

399
00:17:47,608 --> 00:17:49,349
We shouldn't be here.

400
00:17:49,443 --> 00:17:51,685
You want to just let our store close?

401
00:17:51,779 --> 00:17:53,315
Is it really that bad?

402
00:17:54,824 --> 00:17:56,486
You know what, don't tell me.

403
00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:58,067
Okay, I won't tell you.

404
00:18:00,496 --> 00:18:02,704
Okay, tell me. I can handle it.
Come on. Bring it.

405
00:18:04,625 --> 00:18:07,117
We're $493,000 in debt.

406
00:18:07,211 --> 00:18:08,497
What the fuck?

407
00:18:08,588 --> 00:18:11,626
I'm sorry.
I know I've let us down. I'm sorry.

408
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:15,087
It's hard for me to tell you these things.

409
00:18:15,177 --> 00:18:18,045
Stop it. We'll figure this out.

410
00:18:18,639 --> 00:18:21,097
Together. Okay?

411
00:18:24,812 --> 00:18:27,304
- Aah!
- What are you doing? What did you do?

412
00:18:27,398 --> 00:18:29,731
He attacked me first!
Why are you taking his side?

413
00:18:29,817 --> 00:18:33,026
We're gonna get in trouble.
Why did you do it? She's looking at us!

414
00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:34,899
- Put that in your purse.
- What?

415
00:18:34,989 --> 00:18:36,901
Put it in your purse.
You a white woman.

416
00:18:36,991 --> 00:18:38,072
You will not go to jail.

417
00:18:38,159 --> 00:18:39,570
Two different laws. Put it in.

418
00:18:39,660 --> 00:18:41,847
You got that white privilege.
You won't get no jail time.

419
00:18:41,871 --> 00:18:43,863
Just leave it like that.

420
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:46,414
- Should I come back another time?
- No, no, no.

421
00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:50,585
I was just having a little stretch.
I'm so sorry, I have a tight calf.

422
00:18:50,671 --> 00:18:53,459
I ran a marathon this morning.

423
00:18:53,549 --> 00:18:54,835
Smooth.

424
00:19:13,736 --> 00:19:16,149
Claire will be with you
when she wants to be.

425
00:19:19,450 --> 00:19:22,238
Oh, my God,
she has a Wegner Swivel Chair.

426
00:19:22,328 --> 00:19:24,365
That's a $10,000 chair.

427
00:19:24,455 --> 00:19:26,412
- That is so stupid.
- $10,000.

428
00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:27,580
It's stupid!

429
00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:31,456
Hello, you fabulous women.

430
00:19:31,545 --> 00:19:34,754
Mel Paige and Mia Carter.

431
00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:38,049
Two-time "Atlanta
Small Businesswomen to Watch."

432
00:19:38,135 --> 00:19:41,845
$21,000 in online sales last month.

433
00:19:41,931 --> 00:19:45,845
Best friends for 22 years!

434
00:19:45,935 --> 00:19:47,471
Impressive.

435
00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:51,305
I'm Clara Luna...

436
00:19:51,399 --> 00:19:54,267
which means "Clear Brilliant Moon."

437
00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:58,980
The literal translation is "Clear Moon."
The "Brilliant" is implied.

438
00:19:59,073 --> 00:20:00,985
But you can just call me Claire.

439
00:20:01,075 --> 00:20:03,032
It's such an honor to meet you.

440
00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:05,281
The honor is always all mine.

441
00:20:05,371 --> 00:20:07,658
I am so proud I found you.

442
00:20:07,748 --> 00:20:09,740
You didn't find anything.
We've been here.

443
00:20:10,376 --> 00:20:11,708
Ooh, Mia!

444
00:20:12,378 --> 00:20:13,960
You're spicy.

445
00:20:15,297 --> 00:20:16,788
I like it.

446
00:20:19,927 --> 00:20:20,927
Oh, I'm so sorry.

447
00:20:21,011 --> 00:20:24,220
My phone is... buzzing.
I apologize.

448
00:20:25,433 --> 00:20:26,674
That was...

449
00:20:32,815 --> 00:20:34,898
It's very loud. I'm sorry.

450
00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:38,268
Ow! Ooh!

451
00:20:38,362 --> 00:20:40,069
That's weird.

452
00:20:40,156 --> 00:20:42,944
See, what happened was
it was flying and it hit...

453
00:20:47,997 --> 00:20:49,238
Was that hot?

454
00:20:49,915 --> 00:20:51,451
- Sure.
- Yes!

455
00:20:52,418 --> 00:20:53,829
Are you a golfer?

456
00:20:53,919 --> 00:20:56,002
Oh, no. It's just something
to fiddle with.

457
00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:59,081
Some people do it with toothpicks,
the kids with their boogers...

458
00:20:59,175 --> 00:21:01,838
- Some grown-ups with the boogers, too.
- Shh.

459
00:21:01,927 --> 00:21:03,668
You two belong here.

460
00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:07,427
I want to send women
on the same incredible journey.

461
00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:10,759
Look, Claire, our brand has value to us.

462
00:21:10,853 --> 00:21:13,721
We want women to realize
that they're already beautiful,

463
00:21:13,814 --> 00:21:16,306
not that they have to
paint it on or cover it up.

464
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:19,484
We want them to shine from the inside out.

465
00:21:19,570 --> 00:21:21,186
Understand?

466
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:22,691
More than you think.

467
00:21:24,366 --> 00:21:26,528
You think I don't understand
where you're coming from.

468
00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:29,157
But I understand more than
you understand I understand.

469
00:21:29,246 --> 00:21:32,614
Mel, like you,
I come from broke beginnings.

470
00:21:32,708 --> 00:21:36,827
And, Mia, like you,
I have a passion for mixing color.

471
00:21:36,921 --> 00:21:40,961
We both started our own business
all on our own.

472
00:21:41,050 --> 00:21:44,714
And I have a mole on my face,
just like you do.

473
00:21:44,804 --> 00:21:47,217
I want you to feel the bliss

474
00:21:47,306 --> 00:21:51,220
of looking at your products
displayed in a high-end store.

475
00:21:51,310 --> 00:21:53,518
I want to see your reaction

476
00:21:53,604 --> 00:21:55,937
when you are looking
at your bank account...

477
00:21:56,941 --> 00:21:59,103
and you realize you're millionaires.

478
00:21:59,193 --> 00:22:01,981
Man, I would shit right in the middle
of the Wells Fargo.

479
00:22:02,530 --> 00:22:03,530
Oh.

480
00:22:04,490 --> 00:22:05,490
Okay.

481
00:22:06,367 --> 00:22:08,029
I wouldn't do that.

482
00:22:08,118 --> 00:22:09,154
Well, get ready.

483
00:22:09,703 --> 00:22:13,868
I'm going to pay for your debt completely
for 51% of your company.

484
00:22:13,958 --> 00:22:18,874
And I want to introduce
the Mia & Mel line for Oviedo

485
00:22:18,963 --> 00:22:21,125
at my upcoming launch party.

486
00:22:21,215 --> 00:22:23,081
And if that goes well,

487
00:22:23,175 --> 00:22:28,842
I am going to invest
an additional $1.7 million on you.

488
00:22:30,140 --> 00:22:32,803
You're literally saving our lives. I...

489
00:22:33,978 --> 00:22:35,389
Can I give you a hug, please?

490
00:22:35,479 --> 00:22:37,892
Nope, no hugs.
We're not taking that offer.

491
00:22:37,982 --> 00:22:41,396
She is gonna control our company.
And that's not what we're about.

492
00:22:41,485 --> 00:22:45,604
Okay, if you could just excuse us for...
<i>uno momento.</i>

493
00:22:45,698 --> 00:22:48,406
- Please. Do you trust me?
- I don't trust this bitch.

494
00:22:48,492 --> 00:22:50,108
We don't have the choice.

495
00:22:50,202 --> 00:22:53,695
I know a lace front when I see it.
That is not her hair.

496
00:22:53,789 --> 00:22:57,533
- Please, Mia, trust me.
- No, no, no.

497
00:22:57,626 --> 00:22:58,958
We can't do it!

498
00:23:02,381 --> 00:23:04,213
My best friend and I discussed it.

499
00:23:04,300 --> 00:23:07,008
The answer is... hell no.

500
00:23:09,513 --> 00:23:10,845
Okay.

501
00:23:12,641 --> 00:23:15,634
I'm gonna do something I've never done,

502
00:23:15,728 --> 00:23:17,469
but I think you two are worth it.

503
00:23:17,563 --> 00:23:22,308
I will take only 49%,
and you maintain controlling interest.

504
00:23:22,401 --> 00:23:23,401
Happy?

505
00:23:24,111 --> 00:23:25,818
I still don't like that.

506
00:23:25,905 --> 00:23:27,705
If you could please just
give us a little time

507
00:23:27,781 --> 00:23:29,568
to think it over and talk about it?

508
00:23:29,658 --> 00:23:32,401
Okay. It's a big decision.

509
00:23:33,746 --> 00:23:35,328
Don't rush it.

510
00:23:35,414 --> 00:23:37,497
She'll need an answer by tomorrow.

511
00:23:45,007 --> 00:23:46,007
So...

512
00:23:46,091 --> 00:23:49,004
I don't want to talk about
any more of this Claire Luna stuff.

513
00:23:49,094 --> 00:23:50,426
Let's not talk about it then.

514
00:23:54,266 --> 00:23:56,553
Hold it, Baby Driver!
Where the hell we going?

515
00:23:56,644 --> 00:23:59,011
That was intense.
We need a drink.

516
00:24:01,315 --> 00:24:03,022
It's karaoke night.

517
00:24:18,374 --> 00:24:20,616
Why did you give them
51% stake in the company?

518
00:24:20,709 --> 00:24:22,041
Strategy, Josh.

519
00:24:22,127 --> 00:24:24,710
And I'm gonna get everything
I want from those girls.

520
00:24:25,839 --> 00:24:28,707
'Cause no one stays besties
once money comes in.

521
00:24:29,468 --> 00:24:31,505
Money changes everything.

522
00:24:32,429 --> 00:24:35,137
And if it doesn't... I will.

523
00:24:35,224 --> 00:24:36,590
You're a bitch.

524
00:24:36,684 --> 00:24:38,391
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

525
00:24:40,020 --> 00:24:42,808
All right, two Peach Cîrocs
for my two roadside peaches.

526
00:24:42,898 --> 00:24:44,764
- Oh, thanks.
- Cheers, guys.

527
00:24:44,858 --> 00:24:46,315
Cheers.

528
00:24:49,905 --> 00:24:53,364
Mia, it's like we've sacrificed
our whole lives for a chance like this.

529
00:24:53,450 --> 00:24:55,362
So this is you not talking
about Claire Luna.

530
00:24:55,452 --> 00:24:57,819
This is me talking about
a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

531
00:24:58,622 --> 00:24:59,863
Our next two ladies.

532
00:24:59,957 --> 00:25:02,745
Please welcome Mia and Mel!

533
00:25:05,045 --> 00:25:07,662
- Are you serious?
- We haven't done this one for a while.

534
00:25:07,756 --> 00:25:09,088
Girl!

535
00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:14,427
Come on, Mia, sing!

536
00:25:14,513 --> 00:25:16,596
Come on, girl!

537
00:25:16,682 --> 00:25:18,844
<i>♪ Love lift us up
Where we belong ♪</i>

538
00:25:18,934 --> 00:25:21,597
Girl, I know what you're trying to do.

539
00:25:21,687 --> 00:25:24,145
We have worked our asses off to get here!

540
00:25:24,231 --> 00:25:25,972
<i>♪ Where the eagles cry ♪</i>

541
00:25:26,066 --> 00:25:28,979
<i>♪ On a mountain high ♪</i>

542
00:25:29,069 --> 00:25:30,651
What if we lose our freedom?

543
00:25:30,738 --> 00:25:34,027
<i>♪ Claire will lift us up
Where we belong ♪</i>

544
00:25:34,116 --> 00:25:36,153
Don't stand there and karaoke me.

545
00:25:36,243 --> 00:25:39,611
<i>♪ Far from the world we know ♪</i>

546
00:25:39,705 --> 00:25:42,448
<i>♪ Where the clear winds blow ♪</i>

547
00:25:42,541 --> 00:25:43,952
You know you tripping, right?

548
00:25:44,043 --> 00:25:46,080
We've dreamed of this
since we were teenagers.

549
00:25:46,170 --> 00:25:47,981
No, you've dreamed of this
since we were teenagers.

550
00:25:48,005 --> 00:25:49,496
I just wanted to be a boss.

551
00:25:49,590 --> 00:25:51,627
You saved my life when you took me in.

552
00:25:51,717 --> 00:25:53,709
Now let me pay you back.

553
00:25:55,554 --> 00:25:56,886
You know what?

554
00:25:56,972 --> 00:25:58,463
Okay, fuck it. Let's do it.

555
00:25:58,557 --> 00:26:02,050
Let's do it. Long as you stop singing.
Let's blow the fuck up!

556
00:26:02,144 --> 00:26:03,931
- Whoo! Yeah!
- Let's blow this makeup up!

557
00:26:09,985 --> 00:26:11,726
Hello, ladies.

558
00:26:11,820 --> 00:26:15,063
Do you know Greg and Ron from Get Some?
Greg and Ron, these are...

559
00:26:15,157 --> 00:26:18,275
Mia and Mel from Mia & Mel.
No introduction needed.

560
00:26:18,368 --> 00:26:20,826
We follow you on Insta,
and you are such an inspa...

561
00:26:20,913 --> 00:26:22,074
...ration.

562
00:26:22,164 --> 00:26:24,827
And you are in cosmetics as well?

563
00:26:24,917 --> 00:26:26,954
- Yeah.
- Weird, right? Two straight dudes?

564
00:26:27,044 --> 00:26:28,660
We thought you were gay immediately.

565
00:26:28,754 --> 00:26:30,474
- Thank you, thank you.
- Thank you so much.

566
00:26:30,506 --> 00:26:33,590
We feel the beauty industry needed
fresh eyes on women's makeup.

567
00:26:33,675 --> 00:26:36,088
- Shatter some myths.
- Let's just be real, right?

568
00:26:36,178 --> 00:26:38,636
Who are women trying to
make themselves look beautiful for?

569
00:26:38,722 --> 00:26:39,741
- Themselves.
- Each other.

570
00:26:39,765 --> 00:26:40,765
Men.

571
00:26:40,766 --> 00:26:41,993
- Mmm.
- It might not sound woke,

572
00:26:42,017 --> 00:26:43,536
but we're just trying to be authentic.

573
00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:46,803
Modern women admit...
they want sex, and they want to look hot.

574
00:26:46,897 --> 00:26:49,935
That's why our slogan
is simple and to the point:

575
00:26:50,025 --> 00:26:52,312
- "Get some. Look hot."
- Look hot.

576
00:26:52,402 --> 00:26:55,145
That is simple.

577
00:26:55,239 --> 00:26:57,606
Thank you very much, guys.
You know your way out.

578
00:26:57,699 --> 00:27:00,783
- Ladies. Claire, thanks. Love you.
- Come on in, ladies.

579
00:27:02,454 --> 00:27:06,198
Those guys are knuckleheads,
but they are very ambitious.

580
00:27:06,291 --> 00:27:09,329
I'm thinking of buying their company, too.
We'll see.

581
00:27:09,837 --> 00:27:12,124
Okay, ladies, just one more provision.

582
00:27:12,214 --> 00:27:16,504
This is gonna be a really intense process.
And, in my experience,

583
00:27:16,593 --> 00:27:19,176
business and friendship don't always mix.

584
00:27:19,930 --> 00:27:21,512
I guess what I'm trying to say is

585
00:27:21,598 --> 00:27:25,012
if your partnership gets into
any kind of trouble during this process...

586
00:27:25,102 --> 00:27:27,594
if one of you quits the company,

587
00:27:27,688 --> 00:27:31,398
I will take 51% controlling interest.

588
00:27:31,483 --> 00:27:32,523
That's never gonna happen.

589
00:27:32,609 --> 00:27:34,087
We've been best friends
since middle school,

590
00:27:34,111 --> 00:27:35,630
and our friendship
makes our business better.

591
00:27:35,654 --> 00:27:37,486
Yep, we rock solid.

592
00:27:37,573 --> 00:27:39,573
So you don't have to worry
your pretty little head.

593
00:27:39,616 --> 00:27:42,825
My head is not little.
It's just that my breasts are humongous.

594
00:27:45,414 --> 00:27:47,326
That's just what I was thinking.

595
00:27:55,257 --> 00:27:57,123
OMG!

596
00:28:14,109 --> 00:28:15,520
Congratulations.

597
00:28:17,279 --> 00:28:18,279
Now we celebrate.

598
00:28:44,306 --> 00:28:45,717
Come on, Mia.

599
00:28:54,316 --> 00:28:57,980
Please stop. Okay. We celebrated.

600
00:28:58,070 --> 00:29:00,062
The launch party is in six weeks.

601
00:29:00,155 --> 00:29:01,316
I need you to come back

602
00:29:01,406 --> 00:29:03,773
with a presentation
for what your company brand

603
00:29:03,867 --> 00:29:06,575
will be under my banner...
<i>mañana.</i>

604
00:29:06,662 --> 00:29:09,029
Of course. No problemo.

605
00:29:09,122 --> 00:29:11,079
We got this. Thank you.

606
00:29:12,542 --> 00:29:17,253
Well, well, well. Is this what those
Claire Luna coins gets us?

607
00:29:17,339 --> 00:29:19,956
You didn't have to get us
such fancy gifts, but I love it.

608
00:29:20,050 --> 00:29:22,758
We wanted to.
This is a big moment for all of us.

609
00:29:22,844 --> 00:29:24,460
We wouldn't be here without you guys.

610
00:29:24,554 --> 00:29:26,967
Gucci, Gucci, goo!

611
00:29:27,057 --> 00:29:28,719
Gorgeous.

612
00:29:29,226 --> 00:29:31,138
Okay. So,

613
00:29:31,228 --> 00:29:33,595
how are we gonna rebrand for Claire?

614
00:29:33,689 --> 00:29:35,305
What is our story?

615
00:29:35,399 --> 00:29:37,857
I'm a divorced pet lover. Use mine.

616
00:29:37,943 --> 00:29:41,436
Sydney. Love you. Love your story.

617
00:29:41,530 --> 00:29:44,238
But I think we should
just stick with our own story,

618
00:29:44,324 --> 00:29:45,565
you know? Keep it real.

619
00:29:45,659 --> 00:29:47,571
We can't go back to Claire and tell her

620
00:29:47,661 --> 00:29:50,495
what we've come up with is we're just...
keeping it real.

621
00:29:50,580 --> 00:29:52,822
We need to try something new.
Let's zhuzh it up a bit.

622
00:29:52,916 --> 00:29:55,750
- Did you just say "zhuzh"?
- We got to zhuzh it up!

623
00:29:55,836 --> 00:29:58,499
- Zh-zh-zhuzh?
- Don't be so zhuzh-mental.

624
00:29:58,588 --> 00:29:59,954
Zhh!

625
00:30:00,048 --> 00:30:01,209
Let's focus up!

626
00:30:01,300 --> 00:30:05,010
Zhh. Zh.

627
00:30:05,095 --> 00:30:09,465
What is the intersection between
what Claire wants and what we do?

628
00:30:15,022 --> 00:30:17,605
- Come on, girl.
- We need you, Mia.

629
00:30:17,691 --> 00:30:19,353
You know you the idea woman.

630
00:30:19,443 --> 00:30:23,653
Look, good ideas do not come to me
if they are forced.

631
00:30:23,739 --> 00:30:25,696
I have a process.

632
00:30:25,782 --> 00:30:28,900
- Let's go out.
- Please. Girl, what?

633
00:30:28,994 --> 00:30:30,951
Harry's throwing
a last-minute birthday party.

634
00:30:31,038 --> 00:30:33,655
We could swing by there,
have one drink,

635
00:30:33,749 --> 00:30:35,536
and then I can give him
his birthday present.

636
00:30:35,625 --> 00:30:40,086
We've got a presentation tomorrow.
This is seriously important homework.

637
00:30:40,172 --> 00:30:41,538
There'll be young girls there.

638
00:30:41,631 --> 00:30:44,624
We could ask them some questions,
maybe come up with some ideas.

639
00:30:57,272 --> 00:31:00,515
How about day-to-night opalescent powder

640
00:31:00,609 --> 00:31:02,942
called "Sparkly Face"?

641
00:31:03,028 --> 00:31:05,441
How about I got to
give Harry his birthday gift,

642
00:31:05,530 --> 00:31:08,443
so you ask some of these other people
what they do with their makeup.

643
00:31:08,533 --> 00:31:10,695
- I'll be right back.
- Mia, I can't...

644
00:31:10,786 --> 00:31:12,527
We don't have time!

645
00:31:12,621 --> 00:31:14,487
Happy birthday.

646
00:31:18,085 --> 00:31:21,544
Come on, we got to make this fast,
'cause Mel and I got work to do.

647
00:31:21,630 --> 00:31:24,247
I'm so excited for you guys.
I've been smiling all day.

648
00:31:24,341 --> 00:31:26,549
You always smile all day.
Now, come on.

649
00:31:26,635 --> 00:31:29,548
- This is crazy, this is cra...
- No conversation!

650
00:31:29,638 --> 00:31:33,473
You young people always trying
to narrate your whole damn life!

651
00:31:33,558 --> 00:31:36,596
It's like having sex
with somebody on Instagram Live.

652
00:31:50,367 --> 00:31:52,529
- Hey.
- Hey!

653
00:31:52,619 --> 00:31:54,235
You girls are so cute.

654
00:31:57,124 --> 00:31:58,615
Tell me about your makeup.

655
00:31:58,708 --> 00:32:01,200
Actually don't wear any.
Just sunscreen and lip plump.

656
00:32:01,294 --> 00:32:04,958
Get out! I think
I see some shadow there.

657
00:32:05,048 --> 00:32:07,540
- Are you Melissa's mom?
- Fuck off! Are you?

658
00:32:10,011 --> 00:32:11,297
What about you, Ginger?

659
00:32:11,388 --> 00:32:13,220
All my makeup is semi-permanent.

660
00:32:13,306 --> 00:32:15,719
Ouch. Thanks for nothing!

661
00:32:21,523 --> 00:32:23,981
I can't believe you left me
to go and look for that guy!

662
00:32:24,067 --> 00:32:26,730
I know. I'm the worst.
He was so much shorter up close.

663
00:32:26,820 --> 00:32:28,231
He was short from far away.

664
00:32:28,321 --> 00:32:30,313
- Hey, girl.
- Where have you been?

665
00:32:30,407 --> 00:32:31,614
Sorry it took me so long,

666
00:32:31,700 --> 00:32:34,613
but I was destroying Harry
for all future women.

667
00:32:34,703 --> 00:32:37,912
- Is that dip?
- No, it's ranch dressing.

668
00:32:37,998 --> 00:32:39,910
- Bagel chips!
- Hero!

669
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:42,162
I am so glad I found you.

670
00:32:46,756 --> 00:32:50,045
It's weird how scary
the whole world can be.

671
00:32:50,135 --> 00:32:54,175
And then your person shows up,
and you're like, "I'm good."

672
00:32:57,642 --> 00:33:02,478
And how, like, our eyes are just wet
security cameras in our head...

673
00:33:03,607 --> 00:33:05,894
gathering just data.

674
00:33:10,238 --> 00:33:12,651
- I think I smoked too much.
- Yeah.

675
00:33:14,284 --> 00:33:17,948
Thank God I'm not alone.
I'm really glad you're here.

676
00:33:18,038 --> 00:33:19,449
Always.

677
00:33:20,916 --> 00:33:24,830
You're my ride or die.
I'm always here for you.

678
00:33:25,754 --> 00:33:27,245
Like you for me.

679
00:33:29,925 --> 00:33:32,133
Remember when my mom passed?

680
00:33:32,219 --> 00:33:34,962
I wouldn't have made it
through that funeral without you.

681
00:33:35,055 --> 00:33:39,140
Everyone coming up to me,
"If there's anything I can do for you..."

682
00:33:39,809 --> 00:33:42,517
And they'd walk away
before they find out if I needed anything.

683
00:33:44,022 --> 00:33:48,642
And then here you come,
with them four Filet-O-Fish sandwiches.

684
00:33:48,735 --> 00:33:50,192
With pickles.

685
00:33:50,278 --> 00:33:51,940
Them salty-ass french fries.

686
00:33:52,030 --> 00:33:55,023
And the chocolate shakes spiked
with the Captain Morgan's.

687
00:33:59,037 --> 00:34:01,029
That was exactly what I needed.

688
00:34:03,875 --> 00:34:05,958
We so lucky we got each other.

689
00:34:11,508 --> 00:34:13,591
We should get some french fries.

690
00:34:16,555 --> 00:34:18,296
- I got it.
- What?

691
00:34:18,390 --> 00:34:19,631
I know what we can do.

692
00:34:19,724 --> 00:34:21,886
And Claire Luna's gonna love it.

693
00:34:21,977 --> 00:34:23,934
But first, let's get them french fries.

694
00:34:24,020 --> 00:34:26,387
Hey. My name is Mia. What's yours?

695
00:34:26,481 --> 00:34:27,892
- Ellie.
- Jess.

696
00:34:27,983 --> 00:34:30,646
Tell me, what do you guys love
about each other?

697
00:34:33,613 --> 00:34:35,195
- This one?
- Yeah.

698
00:34:35,282 --> 00:34:38,275
- Or no, this one.
- Tap. Just make it go.

699
00:34:38,368 --> 00:34:40,721
- <i>Where did you meet?
- It was actually a Halloween party.</i>

700
00:34:40,745 --> 00:34:41,931
<i>Oh, what were you dressed as?</i>

701
00:34:41,955 --> 00:34:44,914
<i>Destiny's Child,
but there was five of us.</i>

702
00:34:48,003 --> 00:34:50,086
We want our products
to make you feel like

703
00:34:50,171 --> 00:34:52,584
you just found your person in the crowd.

704
00:34:52,674 --> 00:34:54,290
Happy and safe.

705
00:34:54,384 --> 00:34:55,903
No matter how much
you see your flaws,

706
00:34:55,927 --> 00:34:58,419
your person is always standing there,
reminding you:

707
00:34:58,513 --> 00:34:59,799
you are beautiful.

708
00:34:59,889 --> 00:35:02,472
We want to create a line that,
instead of hiding your flaws,

709
00:35:02,559 --> 00:35:04,221
boosts your best parts.

710
00:35:04,311 --> 00:35:06,143
We call it "Proud."

711
00:35:18,575 --> 00:35:19,941
"Proud Mary"?

712
00:35:20,035 --> 00:35:21,822
My grandma used to play it all the time.

713
00:35:21,911 --> 00:35:25,404
She said, "That's the voice of a woman
that's ready to turn up the great."

714
00:35:25,498 --> 00:35:27,239
We want it to be our anthem.

715
00:35:27,334 --> 00:35:30,953
<i>Her eyebrows always look perfect.
Look at 'em!</i>

716
00:35:31,046 --> 00:35:35,086
<i>I love her skin because it's flawless.
Like, my best friend has no flaws.</i>

717
00:35:35,175 --> 00:35:37,212
<i>And she has dimples,
they're so cute.</i>

718
00:35:37,302 --> 00:35:39,530
<i>She has natural eyebrows,
she doesn't have to fill 'em in.</i>

719
00:35:41,222 --> 00:35:44,715
How could you turn off "Proud Mary"
before the fast part? Who does that?

720
00:35:44,809 --> 00:35:48,849
This is the opposite direction
to what you should be heading.

721
00:35:48,938 --> 00:35:50,395
This is all wrong!

722
00:35:50,482 --> 00:35:53,600
Too sentimental. Mushy. It's cheesy.

723
00:35:53,693 --> 00:35:56,185
Sappish. Cornish.

724
00:35:56,279 --> 00:35:57,770
Not sexy at all.

725
00:35:57,864 --> 00:36:01,028
Sorry, I think Mia was just thinking...

726
00:36:01,117 --> 00:36:04,360
I'm sorry...
We were just thinking that

727
00:36:04,454 --> 00:36:06,366
the best kind of relationships

728
00:36:06,456 --> 00:36:09,290
and the best kind of makeup
make you feel beautiful.

729
00:36:09,376 --> 00:36:13,040
Then stitch that on a pillow,
honey, and sell it on Etsy.

730
00:36:13,129 --> 00:36:17,214
I am asking you
to push yourselves to the edge.

731
00:36:17,300 --> 00:36:19,292
I want you to be fierce!

732
00:36:19,386 --> 00:36:21,378
How far are you willing to go?

733
00:36:21,471 --> 00:36:23,337
Far! We can go far.

734
00:36:23,431 --> 00:36:25,548
I know we're fierce.
We're totally fierce!

735
00:36:25,642 --> 00:36:27,036
- Down to go places.
- That's why we're friends.

736
00:36:27,060 --> 00:36:28,801
We're gonna push you to the edge.

737
00:36:28,895 --> 00:36:32,229
So afraid you gonna fall off.
But you're not.

738
00:36:32,315 --> 00:36:33,355
- You're not.
- You're not.

739
00:36:33,441 --> 00:36:34,852
You're gonna fall into beauty.

740
00:36:34,943 --> 00:36:36,712
- And be beautiful.
- And you're gonna push it!

741
00:36:36,736 --> 00:36:38,443
- And, like, fierce beauty.
- Yeah.

742
00:36:40,782 --> 00:36:42,398
Are we selling animal cookies?

743
00:36:42,492 --> 00:36:47,032
I need you to be fierce yourself
so that you can inspire the ugly people

744
00:36:47,122 --> 00:36:50,866
to buy themselves into gorgeousness!

745
00:36:50,959 --> 00:36:52,666
Listen to the word:

746
00:36:52,752 --> 00:36:54,414
Fierst.

747
00:36:54,504 --> 00:36:56,541
Fierst.

748
00:36:56,631 --> 00:36:58,497
What is it saying to you?

749
00:36:58,591 --> 00:37:01,425
I hear "fear" then "erst."

750
00:37:02,220 --> 00:37:03,301
I hear that, too.

751
00:37:03,388 --> 00:37:05,471
Fierst.

752
00:37:05,557 --> 00:37:06,843
- Fierst.
- Fierst.

753
00:37:06,933 --> 00:37:07,891
Fierst.

754
00:37:07,892 --> 00:37:09,804
Now whisper it.

755
00:37:09,894 --> 00:37:11,351
Feel it inside you.

756
00:37:11,438 --> 00:37:13,851
Fierst. Fierst.

757
00:37:18,528 --> 00:37:22,192
Jarring. Unexpected. Exhilarating.

758
00:37:23,116 --> 00:37:24,607
That's fierst.

759
00:37:24,701 --> 00:37:26,442
Can you be fierst?

760
00:37:27,454 --> 00:37:29,571
- Uh-huh.
- Yes, we can certainly try.

761
00:37:29,664 --> 00:37:31,326
Get the car and my purse!

762
00:37:35,128 --> 00:37:37,836
Okay, girls, this is what you do well.

763
00:37:37,922 --> 00:37:41,006
The rest of it... no.

764
00:37:41,092 --> 00:37:43,129
But you've only chosen
lipstick and foundation.

765
00:37:43,219 --> 00:37:45,711
Yeah, and you said
you loved our One Night Stand.

766
00:37:45,805 --> 00:37:50,220
That's because it was a fabulous idea
when it came out years ago.

767
00:37:50,310 --> 00:37:52,768
Now it's boring.
You need to evolve.

768
00:37:52,854 --> 00:37:55,972
- That's what I've been saying.
- Exactly. She gets it.

769
00:37:56,065 --> 00:37:58,899
I need a new exciting idea.

770
00:38:01,070 --> 00:38:02,106
Now!

771
00:38:02,197 --> 00:38:05,156
Anyone! Don't just wait for Mia, Mel.

772
00:38:05,241 --> 00:38:07,449
Uh, well, um...

773
00:38:07,535 --> 00:38:09,242
How about a...

774
00:38:11,998 --> 00:38:15,992
custom-blended two-sided lipstick,
and you can pick...

775
00:38:16,085 --> 00:38:18,498
whichever shade fits your mood.

776
00:38:19,214 --> 00:38:20,546
Mmm.

777
00:38:21,508 --> 00:38:23,124
- Yes.
- Yes.

778
00:38:23,218 --> 00:38:26,211
That's the kind of creative juice
I'm looking for out of you.

779
00:38:26,304 --> 00:38:29,763
Great juices. You follow that.

780
00:38:29,849 --> 00:38:31,966
Follow your juices, Mel.

781
00:38:32,060 --> 00:38:34,552
Yeah, Mel, follow your juices.

782
00:38:34,646 --> 00:38:35,727
Hey.

783
00:38:35,814 --> 00:38:37,500
- Okay, just be respectful.
- You be respectful.

784
00:38:37,524 --> 00:38:40,562
- I'm not arguing with you.
- I'm not arguing with you, either.

785
00:38:42,737 --> 00:38:45,150
Do you need to fight in private
or shall I count to ten?

786
00:38:45,240 --> 00:38:47,197
Count to ten,
because I got more shit to say.

787
00:38:47,283 --> 00:38:48,763
She's trying to help us evolve.

788
00:38:48,827 --> 00:38:52,036
- What are we, Pokémons?
- No. Hey. Hey.

789
00:38:52,121 --> 00:38:53,453
Relax. I'm not arguing with you.

790
00:38:53,540 --> 00:38:55,122
I'm just saying I don't like that.

791
00:38:56,501 --> 00:38:57,742
Hello!

792
00:38:58,294 --> 00:38:59,294
You know...

793
00:39:00,046 --> 00:39:02,003
fighting isn't always bad.

794
00:39:03,675 --> 00:39:07,635
I used to have sex with my husband...
just amazing sex...

795
00:39:07,720 --> 00:39:09,006
after we fought.

796
00:39:09,556 --> 00:39:16,019
And then he started having
amazing sex with himself.

797
00:39:16,104 --> 00:39:18,187
And, well,

798
00:39:18,273 --> 00:39:22,608
you know, then we stopped fighting
and now we're not married.

799
00:39:27,407 --> 00:39:29,945
Mmm. Mm, mm, mmm.

800
00:39:34,289 --> 00:39:35,951
How many can you do in an hour?

801
00:39:36,040 --> 00:39:38,077
Around 75.

802
00:39:38,167 --> 00:39:41,035
But I don't.
Because I'm not showy.

803
00:39:41,129 --> 00:39:44,497
I can do 300,000, and I do.

804
00:39:44,591 --> 00:39:47,299
But it's so nice to see that

805
00:39:47,385 --> 00:39:51,504
there are actual artisans that
still work with their hands.

806
00:39:51,598 --> 00:39:53,806
It's so romantic.

807
00:39:53,892 --> 00:39:55,349
Thank you, Barry.

808
00:39:55,435 --> 00:39:56,642
Barret.

809
00:39:58,104 --> 00:39:59,470
Barret.

810
00:40:05,153 --> 00:40:07,145
- You have to fire him.
- What?

811
00:40:07,238 --> 00:40:09,321
- We can't do that.
- We not gonna do that.

812
00:40:09,407 --> 00:40:11,899
I'm gonna be mass producing
your products now.

813
00:40:11,993 --> 00:40:14,110
Sadly, he's obsolete.

814
00:40:14,203 --> 00:40:17,617
With all due respect,
he built this business with us.

815
00:40:17,707 --> 00:40:19,768
Did you know that I had a partner
when I started out?

816
00:40:19,792 --> 00:40:20,792
Shay Whitmore.

817
00:40:20,793 --> 00:40:23,001
Josh! We don't say that name.

818
00:40:24,923 --> 00:40:26,789
That woman and I met in college.

819
00:40:26,883 --> 00:40:29,125
- They were freshmen roommates.
- Josh!

820
00:40:29,218 --> 00:40:31,801
- Whose story is it anyway?
- It's yours.

821
00:40:33,640 --> 00:40:38,101
We were best friends
and in business for 12 years.

822
00:40:38,186 --> 00:40:39,597
And then I had to fire her.

823
00:40:39,687 --> 00:40:42,020
Damn, that's some coldhearted shit.

824
00:40:42,106 --> 00:40:45,895
If you want to be businesswomen,
you'll have to make many tough decisions.

825
00:40:45,985 --> 00:40:47,146
He's got to go.

826
00:41:06,255 --> 00:41:08,838
I'm sorry.
This is just really hard for me.

827
00:41:08,925 --> 00:41:11,508
It's not easy for me, either.
Let's just not do it, then.

828
00:41:11,594 --> 00:41:15,008
No, you heard what Claire said, okay?

829
00:41:15,098 --> 00:41:16,098
It's easier for you.

830
00:41:16,182 --> 00:41:17,826
That's why you should do it.
You're meaner.

831
00:41:17,850 --> 00:41:19,716
You're meaner on the inside!

832
00:41:19,811 --> 00:41:23,054
It's like you got a little Mr. Krabs
living inside of you.

833
00:41:24,023 --> 00:41:26,231
You're right. You're right.

834
00:41:26,317 --> 00:41:28,104
I'm secretly meaner.

835
00:41:29,404 --> 00:41:32,363
This arugula is good as hell.

836
00:41:32,448 --> 00:41:35,282
You know they call it "rocket" in Europe?

837
00:41:35,368 --> 00:41:36,654
What the fuck is that?

838
00:41:38,162 --> 00:41:40,529
It's arugula, honey.
That sounds better, right?

839
00:41:40,623 --> 00:41:43,457
Mel, don't you have
something you want to say?

840
00:41:45,837 --> 00:41:46,837
Barret...

841
00:41:50,299 --> 00:41:51,460
What?

842
00:41:53,052 --> 00:41:55,795
- Go ahead, spit it out.
- Yeah, spit it out, Mel.

843
00:41:56,723 --> 00:41:58,464
- Barret...
- Uh-huh.

844
00:42:00,059 --> 00:42:02,722
I just... I wanted to...

845
00:42:02,812 --> 00:42:06,021
Barret, I'm gonna... I...
What I wanted to say...

846
00:42:06,107 --> 00:42:07,643
That was...

847
00:42:08,234 --> 00:42:09,315
I...

848
00:42:14,323 --> 00:42:15,484
I love your suit.

849
00:42:16,034 --> 00:42:17,400
Oh, thank you!

850
00:42:17,493 --> 00:42:20,236
I do look good in a tartan plaid, right?

851
00:42:26,085 --> 00:42:28,077
Barret... we love you.

852
00:42:28,838 --> 00:42:30,124
You're fired.

853
00:42:32,842 --> 00:42:34,083
What?

854
00:42:34,927 --> 00:42:36,008
But...

855
00:42:36,554 --> 00:42:37,635
Mel?

856
00:42:37,722 --> 00:42:40,556
They're outsourcing
our production. We're sorry.

857
00:42:40,641 --> 00:42:43,008
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

858
00:42:46,439 --> 00:42:48,021
You know what?

859
00:42:48,107 --> 00:42:50,815
I knew this shit was gonna happen.
Fuck the both of you!

860
00:42:50,902 --> 00:42:53,144
Don't hate me, hate Mel.
It was her idea.

861
00:42:53,237 --> 00:42:56,230
- What are you talking about?
- Yes, it was your idea. It was your idea.

862
00:42:56,324 --> 00:42:58,611
Oh, okay. I knew
this one was a pickled beast.

863
00:42:58,701 --> 00:42:59,817
But you, Mel?

864
00:42:59,911 --> 00:43:02,278
You want to fire me,
and you make Mia do it?

865
00:43:02,371 --> 00:43:04,363
Shame on your house.

866
00:43:04,457 --> 00:43:07,541
Wait!
Firing you is not my idea. I promise.

867
00:43:07,627 --> 00:43:09,163
We wouldn't even be here

868
00:43:09,253 --> 00:43:12,746
had you not pushed me into letting
Claire do a grab job on our company.

869
00:43:12,840 --> 00:43:15,207
She saved our company,
which was about to go broke!

870
00:43:15,301 --> 00:43:17,338
Oh, yeah,
and everything's so fantastic now.

871
00:43:17,428 --> 00:43:19,239
- No, nothing's fantastic now.
- Hey, hey, hey.

872
00:43:19,263 --> 00:43:21,004
Hey! Shut it.

873
00:43:23,309 --> 00:43:27,303
Witness... my... tragic... moment!

874
00:44:02,515 --> 00:44:04,051
Happy birthday, baby.

875
00:44:04,142 --> 00:44:07,681
- Happy birthday to me!
- Happy birthday.

876
00:44:08,855 --> 00:44:10,374
- Happy birthday, Jill.
- Thank you!

877
00:44:10,398 --> 00:44:11,809
I love you.

878
00:44:11,899 --> 00:44:14,357
Thank you guys so much
for doing this for my birthday.

879
00:44:14,443 --> 00:44:16,230
Oh, my God. Baby, anything.

880
00:44:16,320 --> 00:44:20,234
Ladies, if there's one thing
I have learned in my ceviche journey,

881
00:44:20,324 --> 00:44:23,067
it's that it's all about
the right amount of cilantro.

882
00:44:23,161 --> 00:44:26,905
Is it just me, or has working
with Claire Luna made y'all fancy?

883
00:44:26,998 --> 00:44:28,990
'Cause I'm getting a fancy vibe.

884
00:44:29,083 --> 00:44:31,917
She's a very impressive person.
She fucked Drake.

885
00:44:32,003 --> 00:44:34,336
- Is that true?
- Just stop, okay?

886
00:44:34,422 --> 00:44:38,086
Because you are gonna make Mel jealous,
because she wants to fuck Claire Luna.

887
00:44:38,176 --> 00:44:39,792
- Oh.
- Okay!

888
00:44:41,470 --> 00:44:43,678
Well, you sure showed us.

889
00:44:43,764 --> 00:44:46,973
We are just so sorry
that we ever doubted your choices.

890
00:44:47,059 --> 00:44:48,766
- So proud of you.
- Thank you.

891
00:44:48,853 --> 00:44:51,891
- I never did doubt it.
- Yeah, it was mostly me.

892
00:44:51,981 --> 00:44:55,145
I just have to say that I am looking
around the room at these ceviches

893
00:44:55,234 --> 00:44:58,193
and they all look beautiful,
but Mel, yours looks best of all.

894
00:44:58,279 --> 00:45:00,191
I appreciate that, Brook.
Thank you.

895
00:45:00,281 --> 00:45:04,195
Look at that, the lady in charge
complimenting Mel's ceviche!

896
00:45:04,285 --> 00:45:05,696
You gonna suck her dick, too?

897
00:45:07,413 --> 00:45:08,974
I'm not interested
in sucking Brook's dick.

898
00:45:08,998 --> 00:45:11,238
I think you're just jealous
because Claire likes me more.

899
00:45:11,292 --> 00:45:12,908
Ooh.

900
00:45:13,002 --> 00:45:15,836
Why don't we move it on
to the chile rellenos, shall we?

901
00:45:15,922 --> 00:45:18,380
Step one, we want to add a little cheese.

902
00:45:18,466 --> 00:45:20,503
And step two,
I actually don't have a penis.

903
00:45:20,593 --> 00:45:22,550
But if you did, we would suck it.

904
00:45:22,637 --> 00:45:24,198
Yeah, she's over the legal limit.

905
00:45:24,222 --> 00:45:27,215
Actually, I'm very happy for Mel.

906
00:45:27,308 --> 00:45:30,267
She finally found someone
that likes her more than me.

907
00:45:30,353 --> 00:45:33,312
- Ooh, boy.
- Success has changed you.

908
00:45:33,397 --> 00:45:35,059
It's changed something, that's for sure.

909
00:45:35,149 --> 00:45:38,392
I would express more shock,
but I've had so much Botox.

910
00:45:38,486 --> 00:45:40,728
Okay, it might be time
to kick it up a notch.

911
00:45:40,821 --> 00:45:43,529
So, I happened to bring with me
some ghost peppers.

912
00:45:43,616 --> 00:45:46,984
I will pass them around. Ladies,
I'm telling you, they are very spicy.

913
00:45:47,078 --> 00:45:48,785
Just a little sliver goes a long way.

914
00:45:48,871 --> 00:45:51,033
Wait, hold up.
Maybe you want to call Claire

915
00:45:51,123 --> 00:45:53,581
and ask her permission
to use a ghost pepper.

916
00:45:53,668 --> 00:45:56,331
Claire? Hello?
Are you on the line?

917
00:45:56,420 --> 00:45:58,412
Just call me
when you grow up, okay, Mi?

918
00:45:58,506 --> 00:46:01,374
Oh, when I grow up?
Oh, I'm grown. I'm real grown.

919
00:46:01,467 --> 00:46:03,946
You the one that's the crybaby.
You the one that cries all the time.

920
00:46:03,970 --> 00:46:05,051
Oh, oh.

921
00:46:05,137 --> 00:46:06,698
Why don't you call Claire
and cry to Claire?

922
00:46:06,722 --> 00:46:07,722
Go cry to Claire.

923
00:46:07,807 --> 00:46:10,470
The fake crying is gonna make me lactate,
but this is great.

924
00:46:10,559 --> 00:46:12,721
"Mia won't let me kiss your ass."

925
00:46:12,812 --> 00:46:15,457
I think they're really mad at each other.
Shouldn't we do something?

926
00:46:15,481 --> 00:46:19,691
No! I have not seen adults be shitty
to each other in a minute.

927
00:46:19,777 --> 00:46:22,190
This is better than watching
that little bitch Caillou!

928
00:46:22,280 --> 00:46:23,441
Who the fuck is Caillou?

929
00:46:23,531 --> 00:46:25,648
He's this kid on Nickelodeon.
Fucking idiot.

930
00:46:25,741 --> 00:46:28,779
Why don't we actually move it on
into the living room

931
00:46:28,869 --> 00:46:31,577
for some mezcal and some tequila?

932
00:46:31,664 --> 00:46:33,496
Yeah!

933
00:46:33,582 --> 00:46:36,199
- Yeah!
- Dick or no dick, I love that Brook!

934
00:46:36,294 --> 00:46:38,035
- Whoo!
- It's-It's no dick.

935
00:46:38,129 --> 00:46:41,622
More booze! Maybe we'll be
swimming in a baby pool full of flan.

936
00:46:41,716 --> 00:46:43,173
- I would watch it.
- That's enough.

937
00:46:43,259 --> 00:46:47,344
I can have as many as I want,
'cause I run this country.

938
00:46:50,349 --> 00:46:52,703
- You can have... It's birthday time.
- Thank you.

939
00:46:52,727 --> 00:46:54,935
You won't remember this anyway.

940
00:46:55,021 --> 00:46:57,513
You cry to Claire.
You cry to Claire.

941
00:47:02,695 --> 00:47:04,152
Chiles up your ass.

942
00:47:07,908 --> 00:47:10,468
Well, this is the first alcohol I've had
since the baby was born,

943
00:47:10,494 --> 00:47:12,986
and I got to tell you, it feels right!

944
00:47:13,080 --> 00:47:14,161
Mm-hmm!

945
00:47:14,248 --> 00:47:15,830
Well, <i>bon appétit.</i>

946
00:47:15,916 --> 00:47:19,159
Or as they say in español,
<i>buen provecho.</i>

947
00:47:19,253 --> 00:47:22,917
Oui, oui.

948
00:47:23,007 --> 00:47:24,589
I want to do more of this.

949
00:47:24,675 --> 00:47:26,632
Have a birthday,
you want to make changes.

950
00:47:26,719 --> 00:47:28,280
Oprah says you don't start living

951
00:47:28,304 --> 00:47:29,304
- until you're 40.
- Mmm!

952
00:47:29,388 --> 00:47:31,175
- You okay?
- Yeah, but a little spicy.

953
00:47:31,265 --> 00:47:32,881
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah.

954
00:47:32,975 --> 00:47:34,716
Well, Mexican food is spicy.

955
00:47:34,810 --> 00:47:37,427
Very hot.

956
00:47:38,564 --> 00:47:40,146
Nobody else's lips are burning?

957
00:47:40,232 --> 00:47:41,232
No.

958
00:47:41,275 --> 00:47:44,734
Just ease up on the...
Have some water.

959
00:47:44,820 --> 00:47:46,402
Uh, chef?

960
00:47:46,489 --> 00:47:49,698
Do ghost peppers get hotter
when you cook them?

961
00:47:49,784 --> 00:47:51,553
No it shouldn't,
not if you just used a sliver.

962
00:47:51,577 --> 00:47:53,443
"Sliver"?
I want to see that movie.

963
00:47:53,537 --> 00:47:55,699
I learned how to masturbate
with that movie.

964
00:47:55,790 --> 00:47:56,790
That's not right.

965
00:47:56,874 --> 00:47:58,661
Okay.

966
00:47:58,751 --> 00:48:00,391
Yeah, just have some water, honey.

967
00:48:00,419 --> 00:48:02,752
- There you go.
- There go you. That's better.

968
00:48:02,838 --> 00:48:03,919
That's right.

969
00:48:04,965 --> 00:48:06,501
Oh!

970
00:48:06,592 --> 00:48:09,130
It's getting hotter.
It's getting hotter.

971
00:48:09,220 --> 00:48:11,303
Oh, this is hot!

972
00:48:11,389 --> 00:48:13,051
Whoo!

973
00:48:14,767 --> 00:48:16,599
Why is she eating like a dog?

974
00:48:16,685 --> 00:48:18,176
Use a fork. You look disgusting.

975
00:48:18,270 --> 00:48:20,227
Oh!

976
00:48:20,314 --> 00:48:21,771
No, no, no, no.

977
00:48:21,857 --> 00:48:23,894
Okay.

978
00:48:23,984 --> 00:48:27,227
It burns so bad it hurts! It hurts!

979
00:48:27,321 --> 00:48:29,062
Breathe through it.

980
00:48:29,156 --> 00:48:30,363
- Oh, my God.
- Shit!

981
00:48:30,449 --> 00:48:32,657
- She's choking!
- I know Heimlich.

982
00:48:32,743 --> 00:48:34,154
I will save your life, Mia!

983
00:48:34,245 --> 00:48:37,409
- You have to go higher.
- Keep it in the middle.

984
00:48:37,498 --> 00:48:41,458
- Yes. Yes.
- If you die on my carpet...

985
00:48:41,544 --> 00:48:43,285
Don't you die!
I swear to God.

986
00:48:43,379 --> 00:48:44,915
It didn't work.

987
00:48:45,005 --> 00:48:47,247
Here's some bread.
It'll soak it all up.

988
00:48:47,341 --> 00:48:50,459
- Oh, that's a lot of carbs!
- It's only 20 points.

989
00:48:50,553 --> 00:48:52,135
Here you go, honey. Milk.

990
00:48:52,221 --> 00:48:54,964
This is what I do with Ryder.
Mama's feeding you milk.

991
00:48:55,057 --> 00:48:56,389
There it is.

992
00:48:56,475 --> 00:48:57,807
There you go.

993
00:48:57,893 --> 00:48:59,725
It's goat's milk.
It's thick.

994
00:49:04,942 --> 00:49:09,937
This is the first motherfucking night...

995
00:49:10,030 --> 00:49:13,489
since I had Ryder
that I washed my body.

996
00:49:13,576 --> 00:49:17,820
I did my hair, I put on some makeup
to hang out with my girls...

997
00:49:17,913 --> 00:49:21,782
instead of staying home eating
wet Cheerios stuck on my baby's crevices

998
00:49:21,876 --> 00:49:24,118
and his thick little thighs.

999
00:49:24,211 --> 00:49:25,497
Fuck you, Mia!

1000
00:49:26,088 --> 00:49:27,295
Fuck you!

1001
00:49:41,604 --> 00:49:44,096
Ooh, I pray for
the healing of this bootyhole.

1002
00:49:44,190 --> 00:49:48,230
Please heal this bootyhole.
This is bad!

1003
00:49:48,319 --> 00:49:50,060
Ooh.

1004
00:49:55,326 --> 00:49:56,658
I'm in here!

1005
00:49:56,744 --> 00:49:58,235
Yeah, that's you.
That's your fault.

1006
00:49:58,329 --> 00:50:01,197
I am so sorry again
about what happened last night.

1007
00:50:01,290 --> 00:50:03,643
I lost my mind for a minute.
I don't want to fight with you.

1008
00:50:03,667 --> 00:50:06,660
I just want us to work together
and make this deal happen.

1009
00:50:11,675 --> 00:50:15,134
Why the hell did you do that?
Barret's my best friend.

1010
00:50:15,221 --> 00:50:18,134
And he's brilliant, and he's tender,
and you hurt him.

1011
00:50:18,224 --> 00:50:20,181
We didn't have a choice.

1012
00:50:20,267 --> 00:50:21,883
It sucks for all of us.

1013
00:50:21,977 --> 00:50:24,594
No, but he was my person!

1014
00:50:24,688 --> 00:50:27,476
And I know he's never gonna
be my husband, and...

1015
00:50:27,566 --> 00:50:30,354
thanks to my therapist,
I'm learning to accept that.

1016
00:50:30,444 --> 00:50:34,108
- Would you like a hug?
- No! I don't want a hug.

1017
00:50:35,407 --> 00:50:37,069
What are you doing?

1018
00:50:37,159 --> 00:50:39,387
What is wrong with you?
Yes, of course I would like a hug.

1019
00:50:39,411 --> 00:50:40,680
I don't know why you wouldn't know that.

1020
00:50:40,704 --> 00:50:44,118
Surprise!

1021
00:50:44,208 --> 00:50:47,827
It's the angry carrot.
What can I get you? Nothing? Good.

1022
00:50:47,920 --> 00:50:50,207
Okay, girls, show me the presentation

1023
00:50:50,297 --> 00:50:52,710
on the two-sided lipstick idea
you came up with.

1024
00:50:52,800 --> 00:50:55,508
Well, everything has gotten
a little sidetracked

1025
00:50:55,594 --> 00:50:57,074
because of what happened with Barret.

1026
00:50:57,137 --> 00:50:58,594
Oh, my God!

1027
00:50:58,681 --> 00:51:03,346
He's not even here anymore,
and he's still slowing down production!

1028
00:51:03,435 --> 00:51:05,176
Come on.
Show me what you got.

1029
00:51:05,271 --> 00:51:08,230
So, here we have two normal lipsticks.

1030
00:51:08,315 --> 00:51:11,934
And the idea is,
if we just join them together...

1031
00:51:12,027 --> 00:51:15,111
You just stick them together like that.

1032
00:51:15,197 --> 00:51:16,984
Real hard, like they're,

1033
00:51:17,074 --> 00:51:19,111
you know, two dogs mating.

1034
00:51:23,455 --> 00:51:27,415
My Oviedo customers
do not want to think of the penis of a dog

1035
00:51:27,501 --> 00:51:29,993
rubbing on their lips
because it's disgusting.

1036
00:51:30,087 --> 00:51:31,373
Yes, disgusting.

1037
00:51:31,463 --> 00:51:33,921
Two dogs copulating?
That's what you came up with?

1038
00:51:34,008 --> 00:51:36,671
We're so off-track.
That's not what I meant.

1039
00:51:36,760 --> 00:51:38,251
This is appalling.

1040
00:51:38,345 --> 00:51:39,756
And it's your fault.

1041
00:51:39,847 --> 00:51:43,591
You cannot let the other one
get in the middle of the creative.

1042
00:51:43,684 --> 00:51:45,596
That one does the accounting.

1043
00:51:45,686 --> 00:51:47,552
You know her limitations.

1044
00:51:47,646 --> 00:51:49,433
You failed her!

1045
00:51:49,523 --> 00:51:50,523
Uh...

1046
00:51:50,524 --> 00:51:53,232
- you blaming me for the dog-sex lipstick?
- Yeah.

1047
00:51:53,319 --> 00:51:55,463
I don't know what you want,
but this is not how you're gonna get it.

1048
00:51:55,487 --> 00:51:56,487
Wow.

1049
00:51:56,572 --> 00:51:58,780
I'm sorry. I loved dogs when I was little.

1050
00:51:58,866 --> 00:52:00,903
I mean, not their dicks, but...

1051
00:52:05,914 --> 00:52:08,372
I bet that little bag
is made out of his foreskin.

1052
00:52:11,170 --> 00:52:13,412
I think we really disappointed her.

1053
00:52:13,505 --> 00:52:14,916
Take a Lyft!

1054
00:52:19,428 --> 00:52:23,513
Hey. So Claire's decided to bring
a different company to the launch party

1055
00:52:23,599 --> 00:52:24,760
instead of you.

1056
00:52:24,850 --> 00:52:27,137
- Whoa, whoa, what?
- What bitch is taking our spot?

1057
00:52:27,227 --> 00:52:30,595
It's actually two men. Straight guys.
You know them. Get Some?

1058
00:52:30,689 --> 00:52:31,975
She bought their company.

1059
00:52:32,066 --> 00:52:34,399
- Oh, no.
- Those Maroon 5-looking dudes?

1060
00:52:34,485 --> 00:52:37,353
Okay. You guys, they've actually
got a proven track record.

1061
00:52:37,446 --> 00:52:39,529
They created the online-dating app PostD8.

1062
00:52:39,615 --> 00:52:40,651
What's PostD8?

1063
00:52:40,741 --> 00:52:42,698
It is a totally gross
and chauvinistic app,

1064
00:52:42,785 --> 00:52:45,368
where guys can go on and tell women
they've previously dated

1065
00:52:45,454 --> 00:52:48,288
what was wrong with them
to "help them out."

1066
00:52:48,374 --> 00:52:50,115
Yeah, I'm on it.

1067
00:52:50,209 --> 00:52:52,371
My landlord said
that my teeth are too sharp.

1068
00:52:52,461 --> 00:52:54,953
Why would Claire even want to be
associated with those pigs?

1069
00:52:55,047 --> 00:52:59,462
She didn't, okay?
That is why Claire is so upset with you.

1070
00:52:59,551 --> 00:53:01,292
She is a feminist!

1071
00:53:01,387 --> 00:53:04,130
And now, because of you guys,
she has to go with two dudes.

1072
00:53:04,223 --> 00:53:05,714
- That makes zero sense.
- Yeah.

1073
00:53:05,808 --> 00:53:07,970
Okay, I'll explain.
Good news, your debt is paid.

1074
00:53:08,060 --> 00:53:09,972
Bad news,
Claire's never helping you again.

1075
00:53:10,062 --> 00:53:11,665
And, per your contract,
you now have to give Claire

1076
00:53:11,689 --> 00:53:15,729
49 cents of every dollar
for the rest of your lives.

1077
00:53:15,818 --> 00:53:19,562
So, yeah, keep moisturizing,
'cause you're gonna need those looks.

1078
00:53:21,490 --> 00:53:24,153
<i>♪ If your upper lip is hairy ♪</i>

1079
00:53:24,243 --> 00:53:25,700
Are these the guys?

1080
00:53:25,786 --> 00:53:30,121
<i>♪ You can fix it with a blast of
Poppin' Cherry! ♪</i>

1081
00:53:30,207 --> 00:53:33,746
The lyrics are beyond offensive, but...

1082
00:53:33,836 --> 00:53:36,294
the melody is beautiful!

1083
00:53:36,380 --> 00:53:38,667
<i>Get some Get Some,
and you'll get some.</i>

1084
00:53:38,757 --> 00:53:40,757
What happened to her whole thing
of mentoring women

1085
00:53:40,843 --> 00:53:43,051
to recreate her sweet rise?

1086
00:53:43,137 --> 00:53:45,629
I don't know,
but she ain't getting away with this shit.

1087
00:53:47,182 --> 00:53:49,799
We're getting out of this deal.
She's done messing with us!

1088
00:53:49,893 --> 00:53:54,228
I really thought she was gonna
take care of us. I believed her.

1089
00:53:54,314 --> 00:53:56,431
And she's such a lying...

1090
00:53:58,068 --> 00:53:59,149
snake!

1091
00:54:00,320 --> 00:54:01,686
Really?

1092
00:54:01,780 --> 00:54:03,925
- That's all you could come up with?
- What would you call her?

1093
00:54:03,949 --> 00:54:07,363
I would say that
she's a yeasty-ass, pussy-ass,

1094
00:54:07,453 --> 00:54:09,160
tomfoolery-lookin' motherfucking...

1095
00:54:09,246 --> 00:54:12,410
I don't even know what tomfoolery is,
but it seem like something that fits her.

1096
00:54:12,499 --> 00:54:15,082
She got blue waffles.
You know what blue waffles is?

1097
00:54:15,169 --> 00:54:18,913
That's when your coochie looks like
it's from <i>The Walking Dead.</i>

1098
00:54:19,006 --> 00:54:20,622
'Cause she ain't shit!

1099
00:54:26,847 --> 00:54:28,463
Claire's in a meeting right now.

1100
00:54:28,557 --> 00:54:32,767
My Payless BOGOs are about to be
in a meeting with your ass... right now.

1101
00:54:38,609 --> 00:54:39,645
It's Claire.

1102
00:54:39,735 --> 00:54:41,601
What?

1103
00:54:42,780 --> 00:54:44,396
- Let us up there.
- Right now.

1104
00:54:44,490 --> 00:54:47,733
<i>No. Maybe next time
somebody gives you an opportunity,</i>

1105
00:54:47,826 --> 00:54:51,536
<i>you'll step up your pussies
instead of wasting it.</i>

1106
00:54:51,622 --> 00:54:52,622
<i>Ta-ta!</i>

1107
00:54:59,880 --> 00:55:01,621
Come on, girl.
Go, go, go.

1108
00:55:01,715 --> 00:55:03,206
Marcus, get them.

1109
00:55:03,300 --> 00:55:06,213
- We coming for you, Claire!
- Come back here!

1110
00:55:06,303 --> 00:55:09,137
Stand down, sir.
Thank you, sir. Stand down.

1111
00:55:09,223 --> 00:55:10,759
Let's not make this hard, ladies.

1112
00:55:10,849 --> 00:55:12,465
Thank you very much, sir!
Goodbye!

1113
00:55:15,646 --> 00:55:17,137
What the fuck?

1114
00:55:17,231 --> 00:55:19,097
Go, go, go, go.

1115
00:55:19,191 --> 00:55:20,352
Stop right there!

1116
00:55:20,442 --> 00:55:23,310
We're coming to meet with Claire.
Everything's fine!

1117
00:55:26,448 --> 00:55:29,532
- I think he could be dead!
- He's good. I saw his legs moving.

1118
00:55:30,661 --> 00:55:32,448
Oh, my God. Okay.

1119
00:55:32,538 --> 00:55:34,655
- Shit! Shit, shit, shit.
- Back, back, back.

1120
00:55:34,748 --> 00:55:36,535
Oh! Come on. Shit!

1121
00:55:38,669 --> 00:55:41,958
- There's been a misunderstanding.
- We're here to see Claire.

1122
00:55:42,047 --> 00:55:43,913
We're here to do services on Claire Luna.

1123
00:55:44,007 --> 00:55:48,468
Yes! Yes, see,
we are gonna bleach her butthole.

1124
00:55:48,554 --> 00:55:50,090
And it's really big.

1125
00:55:50,180 --> 00:55:51,820
- That's why there's two of us.
- Exactly.

1126
00:55:51,849 --> 00:55:53,827
- You need to come with us.
- You get away from me!

1127
00:55:54,893 --> 00:55:56,384
- Ma'am?
- You want some, too?

1128
00:55:57,521 --> 00:55:59,763
- Son of a bitch!
- That was right in the nipple.

1129
00:55:59,857 --> 00:56:02,770
Get Claire Luna down here right now
or I'm gonna jump.

1130
00:56:02,860 --> 00:56:04,271
Pronto. What?

1131
00:56:04,361 --> 00:56:05,602
Yep, I am gonna jump.

1132
00:56:05,696 --> 00:56:07,232
Hey, hey, hey.

1133
00:56:07,322 --> 00:56:11,441
- This is for real. Yes, we will.
- This isn't funny. No, no, no...

1134
00:56:11,535 --> 00:56:15,245
We're gonna paint this whole downstairs
with blood, teeth and hair.

1135
00:56:15,330 --> 00:56:16,741
- Nope. Mia!
- Let's do it.

1136
00:56:16,832 --> 00:56:18,915
We are not bluffing.

1137
00:56:19,001 --> 00:56:21,618
Get Claire Luna right now!

1138
00:56:21,712 --> 00:56:22,998
Oh, shit!

1139
00:56:24,548 --> 00:56:26,164
Oh, my God, Mia!

1140
00:56:36,435 --> 00:56:37,892
Grab! Help me!

1141
00:56:37,978 --> 00:56:41,767
This is not what I wanted to happen, Mel.
Don't you fucking drop me!

1142
00:56:41,857 --> 00:56:43,644
Trust me, I got you!

1143
00:56:46,278 --> 00:56:48,691
- We got you.
- Don't you drop me!

1144
00:56:48,780 --> 00:56:50,567
I'm never gonna let you go.
I have you.

1145
00:56:55,829 --> 00:56:58,071
I fucking hate drones!

1146
00:56:58,165 --> 00:56:59,497
Ah, shit!

1147
00:56:59,583 --> 00:57:00,949
Grab the flag!

1148
00:57:01,043 --> 00:57:02,625
Come on, let's go.

1149
00:57:02,711 --> 00:57:05,374
I didn't kill your cousin.
It was suicide!

1150
00:57:06,465 --> 00:57:08,001
Help me, guys!

1151
00:57:08,926 --> 00:57:10,588
Oh, I'm so glad I been planking.

1152
00:57:12,262 --> 00:57:14,003
Come on.

1153
00:57:14,097 --> 00:57:16,840
Ooh. How you know
this my favorite position?

1154
00:57:16,934 --> 00:57:18,470
That's my favorite right there.

1155
00:57:18,560 --> 00:57:20,176
Oh, my God.

1156
00:57:20,270 --> 00:57:22,808
What you doing here?
We're waiting for Claire.

1157
00:57:22,898 --> 00:57:25,641
I'm a tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny...

1158
00:57:26,443 --> 00:57:28,059
bit impressed.

1159
00:57:32,199 --> 00:57:33,986
That's quite a scene
you made in my house.

1160
00:57:34,076 --> 00:57:36,068
- And I'm not sorry at all.
- Neither am I.

1161
00:57:40,040 --> 00:57:42,532
Actually, that's a lie. I am.

1162
00:57:42,626 --> 00:57:44,663
Very sorry and embarrassed.

1163
00:57:44,753 --> 00:57:47,496
- I apologize for the both of us.
- Don't apologize for me.

1164
00:57:47,589 --> 00:57:49,797
Okay, I won't.
But I apologize for me.

1165
00:57:49,883 --> 00:57:52,216
Can you please
just give us another chance?

1166
00:57:52,302 --> 00:57:55,795
I don't want another chance.
I don't want to be in her world at all.

1167
00:57:55,889 --> 00:57:57,450
And here's what's about to happen, okay?

1168
00:57:57,474 --> 00:57:59,557
You're giving us our company back!

1169
00:58:00,644 --> 00:58:02,135
No problem.

1170
00:58:03,522 --> 00:58:07,516
You just pay me back the half a million
that I paid for your debt.

1171
00:58:07,609 --> 00:58:11,649
Plus interest. Plus $4,000
for the drone you destroyed.

1172
00:58:11,738 --> 00:58:12,819
You destroyed it.

1173
00:58:12,906 --> 00:58:14,272
Fine.

1174
00:58:14,366 --> 00:58:17,609
For the drone you were going to steal
and you made me destroy.

1175
00:58:17,703 --> 00:58:20,116
Let's just call it 600K, shall we?

1176
00:58:25,585 --> 00:58:27,201
You can add this to my tab.

1177
00:58:34,845 --> 00:58:37,178
Was that "fierst" enough for you?

1178
00:58:47,524 --> 00:58:51,393
I know the real reason
why you keep messing with us.

1179
00:58:51,486 --> 00:58:54,570
You can't stand to see
two best friends living their best life

1180
00:58:54,656 --> 00:58:56,648
and running a business together.

1181
00:58:56,742 --> 00:58:59,075
It's the only thing
you ever failed at in life.

1182
00:59:03,040 --> 00:59:04,406
Do you think she's right?

1183
00:59:06,877 --> 00:59:09,540
No. No. No.

1184
00:59:09,629 --> 00:59:11,837
You're successful, you're independent.

1185
00:59:11,923 --> 00:59:14,336
Who wouldn't want to be you?

1186
00:59:15,635 --> 00:59:17,297
What do you think, Mia?

1187
00:59:18,472 --> 00:59:20,555
She telling you what you want to hear.

1188
00:59:21,433 --> 00:59:22,765
I think you're right.

1189
00:59:22,851 --> 00:59:24,558
And that's smart.

1190
00:59:25,812 --> 00:59:27,769
She knows where the power is.

1191
00:59:29,441 --> 00:59:32,605
I'm going to gift you one last chance.

1192
00:59:32,694 --> 00:59:36,608
I host an event every month for insiders.
It's called, "Beauty and Bubbles."

1193
00:59:36,698 --> 00:59:40,317
You ladies are gonna do
a live tutorial there.

1194
00:59:40,410 --> 00:59:43,653
And if it's well received,
then you're back on track

1195
00:59:43,747 --> 00:59:46,740
and I will present you at my launch party.

1196
00:59:46,833 --> 00:59:49,450
If you mess it up, then you're out.

1197
00:59:49,544 --> 00:59:51,456
Thank you so much.

1198
00:59:52,005 --> 00:59:53,005
No way.

1199
01:00:03,850 --> 01:00:06,843
It's like she says no to things
just to piss me off.

1200
01:00:06,937 --> 01:00:09,350
I feel I have to walk on eggshells
when I'm around her,

1201
01:00:09,439 --> 01:00:10,930
or she'll freak out.

1202
01:00:11,024 --> 01:00:12,731
You remind me of myself.

1203
01:00:12,818 --> 01:00:13,776
Oh.

1204
01:00:13,777 --> 01:00:15,814
When I was whiny and weak and lame.

1205
01:00:16,655 --> 01:00:17,862
Remember my former partner?

1206
01:00:17,948 --> 01:00:20,051
- Shay Whitmore?
- Shh. We don't have to say the name.

1207
01:00:20,075 --> 01:00:23,284
That woman disagreed
with every single thing I did.

1208
01:00:23,370 --> 01:00:27,535
Eventually, I stopped telling her things.
I was keeping things from her.

1209
01:00:27,624 --> 01:00:29,957
Same! But I don't want to do that
with Mia anymore.

1210
01:00:30,043 --> 01:00:33,002
Then you have to stand up to her
like I did with Shay.

1211
01:00:33,088 --> 01:00:35,330
Nothing will change in your company...

1212
01:00:36,383 --> 01:00:39,091
until you change.

1213
01:00:39,177 --> 01:00:40,759
- You feel me?
- Mm-hmm.

1214
01:00:53,483 --> 01:00:55,065
Fuck, fuck, fuck.

1215
01:00:57,529 --> 01:00:59,632
I need to talk to you.
We're going to Beauty and Bubbles,

1216
01:00:59,656 --> 01:01:01,272
and I'm not taking no for an answer.

1217
01:01:01,366 --> 01:01:04,404
- I'm not going.
- No, you are going, okay?

1218
01:01:04,494 --> 01:01:06,827
I'm not asking you, I'm telling you.

1219
01:01:08,290 --> 01:01:09,290
Really?

1220
01:01:09,374 --> 01:01:10,535
Mm-hmm.

1221
01:01:16,214 --> 01:01:17,214
Ooh!

1222
01:01:20,010 --> 01:01:22,218
You can clean that up.

1223
01:01:22,304 --> 01:01:25,297
You been doing cocaine
and didn't ask me if I wanted some?

1224
01:01:25,390 --> 01:01:26,881
That was a lifetime promise.

1225
01:01:29,227 --> 01:01:30,809
Please.

1226
01:01:30,896 --> 01:01:32,498
You know that I won't be able
to live with myself

1227
01:01:32,522 --> 01:01:34,138
if I don't at least try.

1228
01:01:41,239 --> 01:01:43,777
Okay, I'll go.

1229
01:01:43,867 --> 01:01:44,903
For you.

1230
01:01:49,748 --> 01:01:52,491
Hello, you fabulous women!

1231
01:01:52,584 --> 01:01:57,454
Welcome to my ongoing series,
Beauty and Bubbles.

1232
01:01:57,547 --> 01:02:02,713
Tonight we are going to pit two emerging
cosmetic duos against each other,

1233
01:02:02,802 --> 01:02:09,265
and you get to decide
which one will join my Oviedo empire.

1234
01:02:09,351 --> 01:02:10,808
From Mia & Mel,

1235
01:02:10,894 --> 01:02:13,557
please welcome Mia and Mel.

1236
01:02:15,815 --> 01:02:17,147
What is this, Claire?

1237
01:02:17,234 --> 01:02:21,820
And from Get Some Cosmetics,
please welcome Greg and Ron.

1238
01:02:21,905 --> 01:02:24,488
- You guys look gorgeous.
- Get Some! Claire Bear!

1239
01:02:24,574 --> 01:02:29,535
Our gorgeous guinea pigs
are Layla and Lola Farrell.

1240
01:02:32,374 --> 01:02:33,374
Twins?

1241
01:02:33,375 --> 01:02:34,411
- Yeah.
- Whoa.

1242
01:02:34,501 --> 01:02:37,289
Okay, Greg and Ron,
show us what you've got.

1243
01:02:37,379 --> 01:02:40,042
Let's do this. Get Some!
Have a seat, milady.

1244
01:02:40,131 --> 01:02:43,590
You know, we are gonna
turn this face from "meh"...

1245
01:02:43,677 --> 01:02:45,418
to "meh-gnificent."

1246
01:02:45,512 --> 01:02:47,424
Mia? Mel? Come on, girls!

1247
01:02:51,601 --> 01:02:53,934
Lot of blemishes.
A lot going on here.

1248
01:02:54,020 --> 01:02:55,386
I think we'll do a max glam.

1249
01:02:55,480 --> 01:02:57,221
- How are you today?
- Good.

1250
01:02:57,315 --> 01:03:00,979
Good. Your skin looks amazing!
What do you do to keep it up?

1251
01:03:01,069 --> 01:03:03,812
- I drink a lot of water.
- That is the key.

1252
01:03:03,905 --> 01:03:06,488
When they get pissed off, it's over.

1253
01:03:06,574 --> 01:03:09,487
- Put some lips on you, and it'll be great.
- Smile for me.

1254
01:03:09,577 --> 01:03:12,490
- Okay, don't smile. Just do the pout.
- We don't fix teeth here.

1255
01:03:12,580 --> 01:03:14,242
What do you love about makeup?

1256
01:03:14,332 --> 01:03:17,916
I love how fun it is.
And you're like, "Oh, my God, I'm hot."

1257
01:03:18,003 --> 01:03:20,495
Who do you think is gonna crack first,
Mel or Mia?

1258
01:03:20,588 --> 01:03:23,171
- Your lashes are thickish and longish.
- Yeah.

1259
01:03:23,258 --> 01:03:25,671
You just need to shine a light on them
with a bit of...

1260
01:03:25,760 --> 01:03:27,342
- ...mascara.
- Mm-hmm.

1261
01:03:27,429 --> 01:03:30,263
- There you go. Beautiful.
- Thank you.

1262
01:03:30,348 --> 01:03:32,510
- No, I was talking about his technique.
- Thank you.

1263
01:03:40,900 --> 01:03:42,311
- It's beautiful.
- Right?

1264
01:03:46,156 --> 01:03:48,773
Now let's see how everyone did.

1265
01:03:48,867 --> 01:03:51,280
Mia and Mel,
walk us through Layla's look.

1266
01:03:51,369 --> 01:03:52,826
Yes.

1267
01:03:52,912 --> 01:03:56,997
At Mia & Mel, we're not about
painting it on. We don't like that.

1268
01:03:57,083 --> 01:04:00,372
We like to see it shine through.
Look at you!

1269
01:04:00,462 --> 01:04:01,703
Thank you.

1270
01:04:01,796 --> 01:04:03,753
Now, fellas, show us your look.

1271
01:04:04,716 --> 01:04:06,423
<i>Voilà.</i>

1272
01:04:07,927 --> 01:04:09,668
Lola is a very cute girl,

1273
01:04:09,763 --> 01:04:12,756
but we knew she could be a stone-cold fox.

1274
01:04:12,849 --> 01:04:16,763
So we started with an all-over
matte foundation to cover up her flaws.

1275
01:04:16,853 --> 01:04:20,142
Then, of course, we finished it
with our signature Get Some...

1276
01:04:20,231 --> 01:04:22,188
...Poppin' Cherry Lipstick.

1277
01:04:22,275 --> 01:04:24,983
Lola, Layla, please come closer.

1278
01:04:28,281 --> 01:04:32,116
It's funny. It's almost like
a before and after, right?

1279
01:04:37,207 --> 01:04:39,119
Actually, we're not finished yet.
Sit down.

1280
01:04:39,209 --> 01:04:41,169
What? We did what we wanted.
Leave it alone.

1281
01:04:41,252 --> 01:04:43,960
We're not done. We just have
a little more work to do on our twin.

1282
01:04:44,047 --> 01:04:46,164
- Just give me a second.
- What are you doing?

1283
01:04:46,257 --> 01:04:48,419
- What is wrong with you?
- I'm fixing this.

1284
01:04:49,677 --> 01:04:51,384
You can't keep trying to please someone

1285
01:04:51,471 --> 01:04:53,383
who keeps screwing you over and over.

1286
01:04:53,473 --> 01:04:54,805
She's not your mother.

1287
01:04:56,309 --> 01:04:59,268
Mel, you are so right about her.

1288
01:04:59,354 --> 01:05:03,018
She really is ruthless
when she doesn't get what she wants.

1289
01:05:03,108 --> 01:05:06,772
I see what you mean by always having
to walk on eggshells around her.

1290
01:05:09,739 --> 01:05:11,480
So that's what you're doing?

1291
01:05:11,574 --> 01:05:13,736
You're sitting around
talking shit about me with Claire

1292
01:05:13,827 --> 01:05:14,827
behind my back?

1293
01:05:16,121 --> 01:05:19,364
No, I just don't know how
to deal with you sometimes!

1294
01:05:20,083 --> 01:05:23,247
Well, you could've figured that out
a long time ago by just trusting me.

1295
01:05:23,795 --> 01:05:26,913
You don't have to deal with me no more.
I quit.

1296
01:05:45,275 --> 01:05:47,437
You just gave her control of our company!

1297
01:05:47,986 --> 01:05:49,898
Hasn't been our company
for a long time, Mel.

1298
01:05:49,988 --> 01:05:51,354
That is not true!

1299
01:05:51,448 --> 01:05:53,485
The only reason
you ever wanted us to succeed

1300
01:05:53,575 --> 01:05:54,941
is 'cause you're obsessed

1301
01:05:55,034 --> 01:05:56,696
with what everybody thinks about you.

1302
01:05:56,786 --> 01:05:58,243
You don't care what anyone thinks.

1303
01:05:58,329 --> 01:06:00,696
You just do whatever you want to do.
You're so selfish!

1304
01:06:00,790 --> 01:06:01,906
- I'm selfish?
- Yeah!

1305
01:06:02,000 --> 01:06:03,241
I've been taking care of you

1306
01:06:03,334 --> 01:06:05,354
since the first day
I walked into your broke-ass home.

1307
01:06:05,378 --> 01:06:07,119
So I'm just a charity case? Huh?

1308
01:06:07,213 --> 01:06:09,213
I wish you'd told me that
so I didn't waste my life

1309
01:06:09,257 --> 01:06:11,624
trying to get you to do things
you're too scared to do!

1310
01:06:11,718 --> 01:06:13,209
This ain't about you supporting me.

1311
01:06:13,303 --> 01:06:16,011
It's about you trying to prove
that you're not a nobody!

1312
01:06:17,056 --> 01:06:19,639
I'd rather be a nobody than a bully.

1313
01:06:20,477 --> 01:06:22,594
I'm done with you weighing me down.

1314
01:06:23,188 --> 01:06:25,976
This last 20 years has been a waste.

1315
01:06:55,720 --> 01:06:57,086
You guys were right.

1316
01:06:57,180 --> 01:06:59,074
We never should've started
the company to begin with.

1317
01:06:59,098 --> 01:07:02,307
Oh, my God, the only reason
that we were so bitchy about it

1318
01:07:02,393 --> 01:07:04,180
is because we were so jealous of you.

1319
01:07:04,270 --> 01:07:07,229
It's true.
So much of my diary is designated

1320
01:07:07,315 --> 01:07:10,808
to feeling left out and jealous
of you and Mel's friendship.

1321
01:07:10,902 --> 01:07:13,736
You got to hang out every day
with your best friend.

1322
01:07:13,821 --> 01:07:16,905
We get to hang out with our families,
which is great, but sometimes...

1323
01:07:16,991 --> 01:07:19,950
We get to hang out with our families,
which is awesome,

1324
01:07:20,036 --> 01:07:23,700
but sometimes you just want to
be with your friends.

1325
01:07:23,790 --> 01:07:28,376
You two are gonna work it out.
You're like sisters. It's beautiful.

1326
01:07:28,461 --> 01:07:29,872
Yeah, Kim's right.

1327
01:07:29,963 --> 01:07:32,922
I mean, I don't know anything
about sisters as I'm an only child,

1328
01:07:33,007 --> 01:07:36,466
but it is beautiful,
and you will work it out.

1329
01:07:37,387 --> 01:07:38,878
Thanks, ladies.

1330
01:07:41,140 --> 01:07:42,472
I don't know.

1331
01:07:48,982 --> 01:07:50,564
What are you doing?

1332
01:07:51,693 --> 01:07:53,275
Zillowing.

1333
01:07:53,695 --> 01:07:57,860
I have to find more affordable housing,
as I am currently unemployed.

1334
01:08:07,166 --> 01:08:08,998
It's a knockoff.

1335
01:08:09,085 --> 01:08:10,701
Clearly.

1336
01:08:10,795 --> 01:08:12,502
I'm sorry, Barret.

1337
01:08:13,339 --> 01:08:15,456
We never should've fired you.

1338
01:08:15,550 --> 01:08:18,088
You know, I'm not mad that you fired me.

1339
01:08:18,177 --> 01:08:20,339
I know that Claire gave you no choice.

1340
01:08:20,430 --> 01:08:23,343
What I don't understand is
why you never called me afterwards.

1341
01:08:23,433 --> 01:08:25,299
This is the first time we're speaking.

1342
01:08:25,393 --> 01:08:28,261
And I suspect it's only because
you don't have Mel right now.

1343
01:08:28,354 --> 01:08:31,392
- I can't do this.
- Sit your ass down!

1344
01:08:32,859 --> 01:08:34,691
I ain't done with you yet.

1345
01:08:37,113 --> 01:08:40,072
Do you understand what Mel does for you?

1346
01:08:40,158 --> 01:08:42,571
- She doesn't do...
- You have no idea.

1347
01:08:42,660 --> 01:08:46,370
Every day, she comes into the store,
she sets it up perfectly,

1348
01:08:46,456 --> 01:08:49,949
so you can come in
and be a whirling dervish of creativity.

1349
01:08:50,043 --> 01:08:51,875
And when it's all over...

1350
01:08:51,961 --> 01:08:53,372
she cleans up after you

1351
01:08:53,463 --> 01:08:56,126
so you can come back in
the next day and do it all over again.

1352
01:08:56,215 --> 01:08:58,207
And I suspect it's the same at home.

1353
01:08:59,385 --> 01:09:03,174
I mean, she does put toothpaste
on my toothbrush.

1354
01:09:03,264 --> 01:09:04,971
Almost every day.

1355
01:09:09,228 --> 01:09:10,685
Hey, Syd.

1356
01:09:11,314 --> 01:09:14,432
How are you?
That's a pretty dress. Where's it from?

1357
01:09:14,525 --> 01:09:19,441
Oh. Yeah, I found it on a chain-link fence
out in front of the school.

1358
01:09:19,989 --> 01:09:21,150
Yeah.

1359
01:09:22,742 --> 01:09:26,110
It's been pretty dull
without you. Both of you.

1360
01:09:26,204 --> 01:09:27,320
Syd...

1361
01:09:29,332 --> 01:09:32,040
Mia and I aren't gonna
work together anymore.

1362
01:09:32,960 --> 01:09:34,371
Can I tell you something?

1363
01:09:34,879 --> 01:09:38,919
I just know that you're so scared
that you can't tell her anything.

1364
01:09:39,008 --> 01:09:41,375
So you can't work anything out.

1365
01:09:41,469 --> 01:09:43,631
That's how this whole mess started.

1366
01:09:44,681 --> 01:09:45,762
Fuck.

1367
01:09:45,848 --> 01:09:48,932
Come on.
You guys got to come back to work.

1368
01:09:49,018 --> 01:09:51,431
You do. I mean, did you see this?

1369
01:09:51,521 --> 01:09:53,433
I found this on the Get Some website.

1370
01:09:53,523 --> 01:09:56,812
Claire Luna is introducing
a new product at her launch party.

1371
01:09:57,527 --> 01:09:58,893
What?

1372
01:09:59,696 --> 01:10:03,360
She ripped us off.
That's One Night Stand!

1373
01:10:03,449 --> 01:10:05,987
You're gonna let someone
just take your best seller?

1374
01:10:06,077 --> 01:10:08,285
And your best friend?

1375
01:10:16,754 --> 01:10:18,165
I was just about to call you!

1376
01:10:18,256 --> 01:10:20,088
Where are you?
I need to tell you something.

1377
01:10:20,174 --> 01:10:21,527
I just left the store. Where are you?

1378
01:10:21,551 --> 01:10:23,588
I'm headed towards the store.
I'll find you.

1379
01:10:23,678 --> 01:10:27,046
I have to tell you something.
I can't believe I brought that tiny...

1380
01:10:27,140 --> 01:10:29,132
What I have to tell you is
way more important.

1381
01:10:29,225 --> 01:10:31,453
No, it's not more important
than what I have to tell you.

1382
01:10:31,477 --> 01:10:32,718
I need to apologize.

1383
01:10:32,812 --> 01:10:35,520
I was so blind to everything you do.
You were right.

1384
01:10:35,606 --> 01:10:38,895
I was scared. I was unfair to you, and...

1385
01:10:45,408 --> 01:10:47,616
I'm so sorry I ever took you for granted.

1386
01:10:47,702 --> 01:10:49,113
I'm so sorry.

1387
01:10:49,203 --> 01:10:52,287
No, you were right.
I need to change, and I'm gonna do better.

1388
01:10:53,374 --> 01:10:55,912
I just don't ever want to disappoint you.

1389
01:10:56,294 --> 01:10:59,002
You're my family.
You're my home.

1390
01:11:01,507 --> 01:11:03,749
I don't know what I would do without you.

1391
01:11:03,843 --> 01:11:06,085
Girl, I didn't brush my teeth
for three weeks!

1392
01:11:07,972 --> 01:11:11,340
I'm so sorry I ever believed
anything she ever said.

1393
01:11:11,434 --> 01:11:13,096
I'm sorry I blew our chance.

1394
01:11:13,186 --> 01:11:14,663
We never had a chance!
You were right.

1395
01:11:14,687 --> 01:11:16,849
She gave One Night Stand
to the Get Some guys.

1396
01:11:16,939 --> 01:11:18,475
Ooh.

1397
01:11:18,566 --> 01:11:21,400
Nobody steals our ideas
and gets away with it.

1398
01:11:22,695 --> 01:11:25,813
You know what?
We're gonna break this bitch's back.

1399
01:11:30,203 --> 01:11:32,536
<i>♪ Jumped up like a lion
Tangles in my hair ♪</i>

1400
01:11:32,622 --> 01:11:34,739
<i>♪ Call me what you want
I don't care ♪</i>

1401
01:11:34,832 --> 01:11:36,824
<i>♪ I'm on fire
In my underwear ♪</i>

1402
01:11:36,918 --> 01:11:38,955
<i>♪ Doing what I want
Like a millionaire ♪</i>

1403
01:11:39,045 --> 01:11:40,877
<i>♪ I turn it up another notch ♪</i>

1404
01:11:40,963 --> 01:11:43,046
<i>♪ I rock it loud
And make it hot ♪</i>

1405
01:11:43,132 --> 01:11:45,169
<i>♪ I spike the punch
I make it pop ♪</i>

1406
01:11:46,177 --> 01:11:47,293
<i>♪ Don't stop ♪</i>

1407
01:11:47,386 --> 01:11:51,096
<i>♪ Living my best life
Living my best life ♪</i>

1408
01:11:51,182 --> 01:11:53,219
<i>♪ Do what I feel like ♪</i>

1409
01:11:53,309 --> 01:11:55,801
<i>♪ Living my best life... ♪</i>

1410
01:11:55,895 --> 01:11:57,887
Thank you for seeing me.

1411
01:11:57,980 --> 01:12:00,393
Yes, Mia Paige,
how can I help you?

1412
01:12:02,276 --> 01:12:03,858
I have an offer for you.

1413
01:12:03,945 --> 01:12:06,779
A sweet-ass offer
that you won't want to refuse.

1414
01:12:06,864 --> 01:12:09,777
<i>♪ Don't stop
Living my best life ♪</i>

1415
01:12:09,867 --> 01:12:11,779
<i>♪ Living my best life ♪</i>

1416
01:12:11,869 --> 01:12:13,531
<i>♪ Do what I feel like... ♪</i>

1417
01:12:13,621 --> 01:12:15,032
Let's move!

1418
01:12:15,122 --> 01:12:17,455
<i>♪ Living my best life
Staying up all night ♪</i>

1419
01:12:20,002 --> 01:12:22,085
<i>♪ Do what I feel like ♪</i>

1420
01:12:22,171 --> 01:12:24,128
<i>♪ Living my best life ♪</i>

1421
01:12:24,215 --> 01:12:26,207
<i>♪ I turn it up another notch ♪</i>

1422
01:12:28,344 --> 01:12:30,210
- Look at this crowd, baby!
- Oh, yeah.

1423
01:12:30,304 --> 01:12:32,261
<i>♪ Pop, pop
Don't stop ♪</i>

1424
01:12:32,348 --> 01:12:33,464
<i>♪ Living my best life ♪</i>

1425
01:12:33,558 --> 01:12:36,346
Ladies and gentlemen,
the queen of cosmetic chic,

1426
01:12:36,853 --> 01:12:39,095
Claire Luna!

1427
01:12:40,273 --> 01:12:44,392
Hello, you fabulous women!

1428
01:12:45,653 --> 01:12:47,736
I just adore this event

1429
01:12:47,822 --> 01:12:52,112
because this is when I get to introduce
my debutantes to the cosmetics world.

1430
01:12:52,201 --> 01:12:53,863
Yeah.

1431
01:12:53,953 --> 01:12:56,115
These two are geniuses.

1432
01:12:56,205 --> 01:13:01,166
And together we have
an incredible new product to launch

1433
01:13:01,252 --> 01:13:04,620
that you ladies will lose your minds over.

1434
01:13:05,882 --> 01:13:07,748
Are you ready to lose your minds?

1435
01:13:09,468 --> 01:13:11,004
Ladies and gentlemen...

1436
01:13:11,095 --> 01:13:15,305
Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome to the stage,

1437
01:13:15,391 --> 01:13:17,633
Mia and Mel!

1438
01:13:17,727 --> 01:13:19,889
- Yes, ladies, ladies.
- Ladies.

1439
01:13:22,023 --> 01:13:26,142
Thank you. We couldn't be
more thrilled to be here

1440
01:13:26,235 --> 01:13:29,819
and have the support
of this strong woman right here.

1441
01:13:29,906 --> 01:13:31,898
Thank you, Claire,
for supporting all women.

1442
01:13:31,991 --> 01:13:33,027
Thank you, Claire!

1443
01:13:34,660 --> 01:13:37,152
This is like hugging
a little Mexican Barbie doll.

1444
01:13:37,246 --> 01:13:40,114
- Like a bunch of celery.
- Are those Spanx?

1445
01:13:44,128 --> 01:13:46,290
It is because of you, Claire,
that we can stand here

1446
01:13:46,380 --> 01:13:52,001
and have the chance to share with you all
what we believe is the core of beauty:

1447
01:13:52,595 --> 01:13:53,927
Each other.

1448
01:13:54,013 --> 01:13:55,013
Mmm.

1449
01:13:57,558 --> 01:13:59,845
<i>Friendship isn't
just about the high points.</i>

1450
01:13:59,936 --> 01:14:02,895
<i>It's about the low points, too.
And everything in between.</i>

1451
01:14:02,980 --> 01:14:05,313
You really think
you're gonna get away with this shit?

1452
01:14:05,399 --> 01:14:06,480
Mm-hmm.

1453
01:14:08,027 --> 01:14:11,566
<i>Um, do they judge me
when I get too drunk at baby showers?</i>

1454
01:14:11,656 --> 01:14:12,988
<i>A hundred percent.</i>

1455
01:14:14,200 --> 01:14:16,613
<i>But at the end of the day,</i>

1456
01:14:16,702 --> 01:14:19,240
<i>look at this skin,
look at this smile,</i>

1457
01:14:19,330 --> 01:14:21,196
<i>look at these hearts.
You know what I mean?</i>

1458
01:14:21,290 --> 01:14:23,703
<i>- I love you guys so much.
- I love you guys, too.</i>

1459
01:14:25,544 --> 01:14:29,254
- Go do something!
- Like what? They're already on the stage.

1460
01:14:29,340 --> 01:14:32,174
- So? Go get...
- Hey! Hey! Let them finish.

1461
01:14:32,259 --> 01:14:33,545
Get rid of it.

1462
01:14:33,636 --> 01:14:35,719
- Can I have that back?
- Oh, come on!

1463
01:14:35,805 --> 01:14:37,922
I've got butt plugs way bigger than you.

1464
01:14:38,015 --> 01:14:40,098
Fine, I'll stop...

1465
01:14:40,184 --> 01:14:43,302
Yours are made of stone. Ow.

1466
01:14:43,396 --> 01:14:47,231
You pumpkin-spiced turd!
I'm gonna pull all this shit off!

1467
01:14:47,316 --> 01:14:49,308
Josh, Josh, Josh, you're fired!

1468
01:14:49,902 --> 01:14:51,393
What?

1469
01:14:53,239 --> 01:14:55,947
<i>You can't depend on no man
to bring you happiness.</i>

1470
01:14:56,033 --> 01:14:57,365
That's my cue.

1471
01:14:57,451 --> 01:14:59,179
<i>You're right,
and I really needed to hear that.</i>

1472
01:14:59,203 --> 01:15:01,348
<i>The happiness is on the inside.
We taught you that, right?</i>

1473
01:15:01,372 --> 01:15:02,783
<i>It sounds like such a cliché,</i>

1474
01:15:02,873 --> 01:15:05,286
<i>- but it really is true.
- It's the truth!</i>

1475
01:15:05,376 --> 01:15:07,312
<i>I mean, you're just such
an incredible friend.</i>

1476
01:15:07,336 --> 01:15:09,623
<i>And if I get hit by a bus
on the way out of here,</i>

1477
01:15:09,714 --> 01:15:12,331
<i>I just want you to know that
he really was my best friend.</i>

1478
01:15:22,393 --> 01:15:25,511
Ladies, we have a new product
for all you besties out there

1479
01:15:25,604 --> 01:15:28,267
who've been brave enough
to ride out the rough patches

1480
01:15:28,357 --> 01:15:30,940
and get stronger on the other end.

1481
01:15:31,027 --> 01:15:33,519
This is "Ride or Die", y'all!

1482
01:15:35,448 --> 01:15:38,441
A custom beauty kit
that allows you and your best friend

1483
01:15:38,534 --> 01:15:41,527
to pretty it up while you break it down.

1484
01:15:41,620 --> 01:15:43,361
Where my besties at, huh?

1485
01:15:43,456 --> 01:15:46,574
We're the ones who stuck it out
through all that shit!

1486
01:15:46,667 --> 01:15:48,979
- Y'all know what I'm talking about.
- "Ride or Die."

1487
01:15:49,003 --> 01:15:51,245
Check it out, ladies.
See? Look at that.

1488
01:15:51,964 --> 01:15:53,705
They're a hit.

1489
01:15:53,799 --> 01:15:56,132
- Does this mean I'm still fired?
- Hell, yes.

1490
01:15:57,803 --> 01:16:00,967
Well, good luck
trying to find your purse without me!

1491
01:16:02,183 --> 01:16:04,015
I left it where it usually is.

1492
01:16:11,150 --> 01:16:13,642
Okay, I forgive you.

1493
01:16:13,736 --> 01:16:15,602
This is gonna be great for Oviedo!

1494
01:16:15,696 --> 01:16:17,187
Oh, this is not for your company.

1495
01:16:17,281 --> 01:16:18,897
Baby, I own you.

1496
01:16:18,991 --> 01:16:22,610
Actually, you don't own us.
You own Mia & Mel, the company.

1497
01:16:22,703 --> 01:16:25,912
You know, you were right.
One Night Stand is old news now.

1498
01:16:25,998 --> 01:16:28,456
So we've started a new company,
with a new partner,

1499
01:16:28,542 --> 01:16:30,204
and we're calling it Proud.

1500
01:16:31,420 --> 01:16:33,332
You're starting from scratch?

1501
01:16:33,422 --> 01:16:35,334
What are you gonna do, go door-to-door

1502
01:16:35,424 --> 01:16:37,791
and try to sell it
with your Girl Scout cookies?

1503
01:16:37,885 --> 01:16:38,803
Ha!

1504
01:16:38,804 --> 01:16:39,964
Not exactly.

1505
01:16:41,722 --> 01:16:42,722
Shay?

1506
01:16:43,265 --> 01:16:44,551
Hello, Claire.

1507
01:16:46,936 --> 01:16:50,270
Oh, I see what's going on here.

1508
01:16:50,356 --> 01:16:53,064
You're trying to steal my girls
to get back at me.

1509
01:16:53,150 --> 01:16:55,938
No, I don't need to steal your girls,
because you pushed them out.

1510
01:16:56,028 --> 01:16:57,485
Just like you pushed me out.

1511
01:16:57,571 --> 01:16:59,278
Oh, my God,
I've had enough of that drama.

1512
01:16:59,365 --> 01:17:01,322
- Go talk to my lawyer.
- Shoo!

1513
01:17:01,408 --> 01:17:03,991
Oh, Claire. You're still the same.

1514
01:17:04,078 --> 01:17:05,944
We were a great team.

1515
01:17:06,038 --> 01:17:08,246
But you always had to be right
at all costs.

1516
01:17:08,332 --> 01:17:09,868
- Mm-hmm.
- And you haven't changed.

1517
01:17:09,959 --> 01:17:13,953
Even your face looks like
it hasn't smiled in 30 years.

1518
01:17:14,046 --> 01:17:17,539
- Is that supposed to be an insult?
- Well, yeah, to your soul.

1519
01:17:17,633 --> 01:17:19,716
Physically you look great.

1520
01:17:21,804 --> 01:17:24,672
Obviously, I overestimated you two.

1521
01:17:24,765 --> 01:17:27,428
You are nothing but a baby and a bully.

1522
01:17:27,518 --> 01:17:30,056
You know what? No, okay?

1523
01:17:30,146 --> 01:17:32,103
We're smart, and we're strong,

1524
01:17:32,189 --> 01:17:34,334
and we're best friends,
and we love and respect each other.

1525
01:17:34,358 --> 01:17:36,475
And you know what you are, Claire Luna?

1526
01:17:36,569 --> 01:17:40,734
You're a lying, manipulative,
conniving, backstabbing,

1527
01:17:40,823 --> 01:17:43,657
bucktoothed,
Jessica Rabbit-looking motherfucker!

1528
01:17:43,742 --> 01:17:44,983
Ooh, that is good.

1529
01:17:45,077 --> 01:17:46,797
You surprised me
with the whole teeth thing,

1530
01:17:46,871 --> 01:17:48,671
'cause they are looking crazy.
But keep going.

1531
01:17:48,747 --> 01:17:51,285
And you know what else you have?
You have Blue Waffles.

1532
01:17:51,375 --> 01:17:54,868
She has Blue Waffles!
This bitch here!

1533
01:17:54,962 --> 01:17:56,498
- No, I don't!
- She does.

1534
01:17:56,589 --> 01:17:58,376
- No!
- And you are not fierst!

1535
01:17:58,465 --> 01:18:02,300
And now it's our time to celebrate.
Come on.

1536
01:18:02,386 --> 01:18:05,094
- Now, who feels like feeling good?
- Hey!

1537
01:18:05,181 --> 01:18:08,595
- What do you think you're doing?
- Feeling good...

1538
01:18:10,519 --> 01:18:11,885
<i>One, two, three, four!</i>

1539
01:18:15,941 --> 01:18:18,604
<i>♪ Left a good job in the city ♪</i>

1540
01:18:18,694 --> 01:18:21,402
<i>♪ Working for the man
Every night and day ♪</i>

1541
01:18:21,488 --> 01:18:24,231
<i>♪ And I never lost
One minute of sleeping ♪</i>

1542
01:18:24,325 --> 01:18:27,068
<i>♪ Worrying 'bout the way
Things might have been ♪</i>

1543
01:18:27,161 --> 01:18:28,868
<i>♪ Big wheels keep on turning ♪</i>

1544
01:18:29,872 --> 01:18:32,114
<i>♪ Proud Mary keep on burning ♪</i>

1545
01:18:32,208 --> 01:18:35,417
<i>♪ And we're rollin', rollin' ♪</i>

1546
01:18:35,502 --> 01:18:37,835
<i>♪ Rollin' on the river ♪</i>

1547
01:18:37,922 --> 01:18:40,039
They're amazing!

1548
01:18:40,132 --> 01:18:42,966
Great. You get to
watch me take their name

1549
01:18:43,052 --> 01:18:45,965
and make one billion dollars with it,
and you'll get nothing.

1550
01:18:46,055 --> 01:18:47,967
I don't need anything.

1551
01:18:48,057 --> 01:18:52,518
And technically,
they still own 49% of Mia & Mel.

1552
01:18:52,603 --> 01:18:57,439
So you'll have to pay them $490 million.

1553
01:18:59,652 --> 01:19:01,314
Fuck!

1554
01:19:01,403 --> 01:19:04,237
<i>♪ We're rollin', rollin' ♪</i>

1555
01:19:04,323 --> 01:19:06,940
<i>♪ Rollin' on the river ♪</i>

1556
01:19:13,707 --> 01:19:14,823
<i>♪ Come on ♪</i>

1557
01:19:16,001 --> 01:19:17,913
Hey, hey, hey.

1558
01:19:23,008 --> 01:19:24,294
<i>♪ Rollin' ♪</i>

1559
01:19:25,427 --> 01:19:26,427
<i>♪ Rollin' ♪</i>

1560
01:19:26,470 --> 01:19:29,008
<i>♪ Rolling, Rollin' ♪</i>

1561
01:19:29,098 --> 01:19:31,511
<i>♪ Rollin' on the river... ♪</i>

1562
01:19:32,935 --> 01:19:34,892
<i>Ladies, I just got word
from distribution</i>

1563
01:19:34,979 --> 01:19:38,563
that Proud will be sold internationally
by the end of the year!

1564
01:19:38,649 --> 01:19:41,062
That's amazing!

1565
01:19:41,151 --> 01:19:44,861
Okay, okay, now let's see
if you bitches been practicing.

1566
01:19:44,947 --> 01:19:47,985
All right, Barret...
how do you say "Proud" in French?

1567
01:19:48,075 --> 01:19:49,156
<i>Fiére.</i>

1568
01:19:49,243 --> 01:19:51,235
- Spanish?
<i>- Orgullosa.</i>

1569
01:19:51,328 --> 01:19:53,615
Uh...
That's Russian.

1570
01:19:53,706 --> 01:19:55,572
Spaghetti.

1571
01:19:55,666 --> 01:19:56,873
Italian.

1572
01:20:00,296 --> 01:20:02,709
Girl, we gonna have to
get you microchipped.

1573
01:20:02,798 --> 01:20:04,915
Toodles!

1574
01:20:05,009 --> 01:20:07,877
- Thank you, ladies. That's it for today.
- Great, thank you.

1575
01:20:12,433 --> 01:20:15,016
- Do not.
- What?

1576
01:20:15,102 --> 01:20:17,469
Come on. Then just say it.

1577
01:20:17,563 --> 01:20:19,976
Are you gonna do this every week
for the next 20 years?

1578
01:20:20,065 --> 01:20:22,557
Twenty?
We're stopping this after only 20 years?

1579
01:20:23,902 --> 01:20:25,643
Say it. Just say it. Just say it.

1580
01:20:25,738 --> 01:20:28,230
Okay, fine. I'll say it
if this is gonna make you stop.

1581
01:20:30,868 --> 01:20:32,279
- We did it.
- What?

1582
01:20:32,369 --> 01:20:33,951
- We did it.
- What? Louder.

1583
01:20:34,038 --> 01:20:36,200
- We did it! We did it!
- Yes? What did we do?

1584
01:20:36,290 --> 01:20:39,124
We blew up! We poppin'!
We blew up!

1585
01:20:39,209 --> 01:20:40,620
- Yeah, we did it?
- Yes!

1586
01:20:44,465 --> 01:20:46,707
<i>♪ Do you wanna be mine? ♪</i>

1587
01:20:49,261 --> 01:20:51,503
<i>♪ Do you wanna be mine? ♪</i>

1588
01:20:54,058 --> 01:20:56,300
<i>♪ Do you wanna be mine? ♪</i>

1589
01:21:03,734 --> 01:21:05,976
<i>♪ Do you wanna be mine? ♪</i>

1590
01:21:08,530 --> 01:21:10,772
<i>♪ Do you wanna be mine? ♪</i>

1591
01:21:13,243 --> 01:21:15,485
<i>♪ Do you wanna be mine? ♪</i>