Oh, dear Christ in heaven above, what am I doing? Typing this up at the grand urging of others and at behest of my conscience...
Very well.

Hello, Subreddit. My name is LorenLuke, and this has been my experience of late with the community that Bay has become. Those of you who know me from Bay know that there is no TL;DR, though I hope to provide one anyway at the top. Though I'm out of my element in reddit or the 'cancerous slagheap of a dumpster fire' that this particular subreddit has been described as, so I merely ask you be gentle and read.

TL;DR: If you're thinking of playing on Bay for highRP (not that massive amounts of you are)... I think there's better places at the moment that can be found.

This comes on the heels of the [apology](https://baystation12.net/forums/threads/an-apology.4748/) given by Apple_Master/Master_of_Apples. I know not what face they aim to save in this, with the deadminning of Asanadas or the staff meeting leaks, but it strikes me as most disingenuous.

This story starts with [this thread](https://baystation12.net/forums/threads/lets-talk-about-snapshot-as-the-resomi-maintainer.4756/) and my since deleted post in that thread, which will be provided at the end of this particular post (complete with citations, you were warned, there is no TL;DR). From that a comment had resulted quipping 'strong words for someone who was banned for not listening to staff.' (you're a fuckin' ball o' sunshine yourself, red. o7)

Fascinating. How would anyone know? Mind, just as with this post, I despise having all eyes on me. You think I'm going to appeal something that's soon to be three months old? Certainly when I left in manner so as to actually cryo before being banned, the reason not being any visible grief but... eh, I'll put the story at the end. Yes, I am ashamed of it. No, I did my damnedest to make sure such would not come to light in certainty. So where to check for the dissemination of information? Obviously it was something known to the 'mins and myself only, until one of us talked. I can't say it rightly was me (certainly not publicly). Clearly the most informal of all places, the Discord. Lo and behold, [look what I fucking find](https://i.gyazo.com/64bd4ec6b513ee365846b7fae8f6ae25.png). Mind, I don't like a crowded Discord, it moves to fast for me, prefer to be tagged, don't notice my name generally, yada yada. After all, I only found out about it today.

But hold the fucking phone, forget that people might just say 'you're salty for him just saying you were banned.' To answer: 1) Yeah, I'll admit it. I'm a private person with some amount of pride I'd like to keep. 2) I still think that deserves a 'what the fuck, dude?' just from that. The conversation neither included him nor made any mention of anything to do with them, so I [approach them privately for this reason](https://i.gyazo.com/a6ef0876aa830cbf6077a4d3b3ee5d6d.png). Given the apology thread, I figured 'hey that was out of line, I'm sorry.' [Boy, I was surprised](https://i.gyazo.com/061281c953d5674764e477eeb1c521a3.png). While admittedly not the most active in somewhere I cannot play, I still would like to think I'm [fairly active](https://baystation12.net/forums/members/lorenluke.5503/) (insert 'ur b& & probs play more than apples haha' comment here). As to the image seen, Here's the gyazo [capture](https://i.gyazo.com/890c79e5649453f221391778a7c3b6c8.png) with the notes edited out. I [press on](https://i.gyazo.com/8f79236611d9cd20bb74e5f5c2a76538.png). And [the result](https://i.gyazo.com/afa592f649deb6e3e8c3a238a7ff7a4d.png).
So, at the urging of others (and debatably the individual himself 'accuse me of shit somewhere it means something') I post this here to show that any apology they give is hollow, not that many were convinced to begin with it seems. Because in this I ask 'what then can be done?' No one will police this 'I made the rules that I am therefore above because I made them' attitude. Because there's nothing per se against 'belittling any community member' (good luck getting a complaint to go through with 'unprofessional conduct' being the reasoning), even if an [apology](https://baystation12.net/forums/threads/an-apology.4748/) were in effect, it's amazing that he's able two wholesale ignore the very things he quoted:
**'Staff being disrespectful to players, privately or publically, will be sanctioned.'**

I'm unsure if the above is utterly lost on them. When you're told from the proverbial horse's mouth that they're of the the opinion my opinion that neither myself nor my opinion not matter does not seem congruent with the [face he hopes to save with the community](https://baystation12.net/forums/threads/an-apology-companion-thread.4747/#post-70384).

As someone who has played there for approximately the past two years, Bay is imploding as far as I can see. The Torch marked a shift that was not for the better, and it was a simple, simple, simple shift of paradigm in the following way:
***Players and their characters are no longer more important than lore.*** That's it. Regardless of lore, how poorly it was drawn up or
any disagreement you had, you abide, no questions, no exceptions. This rides the tail end of an era where staff had held negative views of their players (feel free to browse the subreddit for examples) with Apples admitting in the apology thread that they are of the opinion that the combination of such things generated this problem. Mind, two days later, they're of the opinion that I don't matter yet they gladly answer my questions, so take that for what it's worth.

But why then, do I say Baystation is imploding? Simply put, in addition to this leadership, the fractured lore (I mean look at just the [headmin elections](https://baystation12.net/forums/threads/head-administrator-elections.4704/) and where who wants to go where with lore), the development cycle has greatly contributed to the issue. [This](https://baystation12.net/forums/threads/lets-talk-about-snapshot-as-the-resomi-maintainer.4756/) is the thread touching off the whole ordeal above and perfectly demonstrates yet another maelstrom coming to form the perfect storm on Bay: We've seen systematic failings of staff here (if you only momentarily search 'baystation' in this subreddit), including the admission and proof that the apology by the then-figurehead is well and truly hollow for 'inviting those we've distanced back', and now, the failings of what amounts to what one could argue is the most ineffectual head of development/species maintainers on Bay. Deleted for being 'overly rude' (and [refusal to even provide direction of where to go to try and rectify this](https://i.gyazo.com/e0d24fc13c740f416553c24c3bf43d67.png)), my [post](http://i.imgur.com/2fsPe8a.png) was not written out of any spite or malice, but merely to open the eyes of someone who I have seen as ineffectual, irresponsible, unable to manage their own time, and sees no fault or failing in their action. I'll let you be the judge of what's overly rude, but as was said, you tell me how to say 'I think you fucked up, are blaming everyone else, and won't open your eyes, here's my evidence' in any way that doesn't come off as rude.  Every bolded, underlined word you see is a citation, so I did this with research; I wrote this not in a fit of rage (though admittedly I'd mind to write complaints for the above reasons multiple times in rage). Each of those links will be provided at the end of this post as best I can remember.

The fact that 'Bay is not a democracy' has never been more apparent. The fact that the veteran players of the server do not matter one iota more than any Johnny-Come-Lately is never more apparent. The fact that the lore is God, yet the lore is fucking fractured as all get out, is never more apparent. Bay cannot figure out what it wants and appears to be strangling itself into oblivion in doing so. It bounces back as it always has been, though I wonder how much more closely it skirts with the event horizon of no return until it tips over the edge.

Post:
**Citations:**
'valid complaint'- https://baystation12.net/forums/threads/complaint-snapshot-maintainer.2912/
'you're put in ch...'- https://baystation12.net/forums/threads/information-regarding-resomi-species.2644/#post-44607
'one poor bastard'- https://baystation12.net/forums/threads/focks-in-a-bocks-resomi.3040/
'we see you rep...'- https://baystation12.net/forums/threads/our-new-head-of-development.3230/
'one'-https://baystation12.net/forums/threads/wnfess-resomi.3753/#post-58129
'all the way up...'- https://baystation12.net/forums/threads/chaoko99-resomii.3994/#post-61757
'retirement'- https://baystation12.net/forums/threads/hanging-up-my-spurs.4037/
*'ten pull requests'- https://github.com/Baystation12/Baystation12/pulls?utf8=%E2%9C%93&q=is%3Apr%20isauthor%3ANullSnapshot
'delay'- https://baystation12.net/forums/threads/chetnik-resomii.4239/#post-66209
'delay again'- https://baystation12.net/forums/threads/deadlantern-ipc.4374/#post-66211
'old habits die hard'- https://baystation12.net/forums/threads/valid-snapshot-resomi-ipc-maintainer.4456/
'verdict'- https://baystation12.net/forums/threads/valid-snapshot-resomi-ipc-maintainer.4456/#post-66526
'goddamn'- https://baystation12.net/forums/threads/discussion-removing-aliens.4488/
'woodwork'- https://baystation12.net/forums/threads/sign-my-petition.4622/
'what admins called'- https://baystation12.net/forums/threads/resomi-applications-on-indefinite-hold.4510/#post-66865
'cut his species...'- https://baystation12.net/forums/threads/resomi-applications-on-indefinite-hold.4510
Spoiler- https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/231866838714286080/316994949901975563/image.png
'Removal of the Exodus'- https://baystation12.net/forums/threads/the-ending-of-an-exodus.4689/

It seems the 'ten pull requests' have since diminished to three, given the removal of the 'exodus' branch, or possibly the deletion in response to the thread. Alas.

And now, to the gainsayers whom I've not yet put to sleep:
'He's salty about his ban.' Hardly, more sad than anything Though I do recall a very intense feeling of liberation from not having to indulge the compulsion to play this stupid game (it's back, ha!). So what of my [ban](https://i.gyazo.com/18cbc1ebb428319483b436ac5e285a04.png)? It is something I feel shame about, and something I sought to hide from public eye. That is no such luxury anymore.

For context, I've difficulty with people, primarily in text based media with people I don't understand. Call me an 'autist' if you like; I don't care, it's accurate (but, 'fuck you' anyway though. :P). Trying to use the most prim, proper, and precise language I can to prevent trouble more often than not lands me in more trouble (I'm almost certain I'll learn my lesson before I'm ninety), when someone segues from one thing to another without something so grandiose as 'we're moving onto this now', I get left behind, and this is all on top of trying to figure out 'what a reasonable (read: not autistic) person would do and say in this situation). With admins, you see this can be a problem. Literal statements from me are 'passive aggressive', earnest questions are 'playing dumb', and attempting to understand the 'why' of the rules is frowned upon because 'just do it', rather than 'how can I learn to apply this situation to others so I don't get in trouble in the future and seen as a repeat offender?'
So what brings me to this point? Playing on Bay for two years, I'd wager... back when the times were that anything was good enough with IC justification. So the fact that a bartender with engineering skills, credentials, background, the inability to do their job (no power), and the ability to do the job (electrician) enabling them to get them to do the job they signed up for (bartender) means nothing. This conversation persists, and they ask me if I understand. I don't. I mean, I understand that's the rule, but I don't understand why it exists. Conversation going nowhere (they asked me if I understood... four times? If you can't get it by that point, I doubt it's happening), I contacted, of all people, Asanadas as they hitherto had been more than polite in my experience, had explained things clearly and concisely, and in ways I understood. And they once again filled that expectation. I notify the now (it had been trialmod season, as I'm sure you know how that can be, and was a trialmod who had poked me in the first place) min (trialmin at the time) that I had sought outside opinion to better understand things. They decide that I shouldn't go 'above their head', because the mod was doing such a <sarcasm>*wonderful*</sarcasm> job of explaining. They tell me to proceed to cryo, which I do, and my connection is terminated with a ban, as overseen by the pictured game administrator who (as seen in above screenshots) claims I'm 'thick and playing stupid'.

I'll say good on the mod though for checking in on how I'm doing now and again via discord (and even one from Mkalash that was rather pleasant), and that I do appreciate the effort, but all that aside it doesn't change where I am or how I can fit in.

**TL;DR: Draw your own conclusions, the above is there to be as open about everything as I can, and provide as complete context as I can.**