The stream:
K2MtwWyzlSo

I'm 15 minutes in and I have no clue why she'll end up crying. She's just so happy to be streaming and to talk to people there... even though she's sniffing a lot (she said it wasn't hay fever, so I'm assuming a cold or drugs) and her camera is all battered and cloudy. It's two hours long though, so...

Will report back.




Fuck.

I'm at 1:13 of Miyu's stream, and shit is getting fucking real. Not at once. Like, gradually, in the last 10 minutes or so. But it's soul crushing, and I still have 45 minutes to go.


She was singing at around the 1 hour mark. Then she sung a bit of Yume e no Route, and someone mentioned how she had come in last in the marathon. So she took the comment and rolled with it, but then I guess some people started asking if she was good at dancing seeing as how she was slow, and she said that being good at dancing doesn't necessarily mean you're good at running.

But then some asshole said something along the lines of "so you're not good at anything then", and she read it. And agreed to it. Said she wasn't really that good at dancing, and that, say, compared to Odaeri, she wasn't good at singing. And how compared to the girls that are usually in variety, like in AKBINGO, she didn't have an established character. How Yuiyui was てんねん, and Odaeri a good singer, and then the good dancers and, you know, talked about a bunch of them, and how she doesn't really have a character.

But then my heart sunk at... let's see... 'round 1:12:30. She said something along the lines of "I gave up. Like, it's fine if I'm this way. It's fine if they don't call me. I just gave up". Then the chat apparently got sad, so she tried to raise their spirit saying something like "I'm not flustered. It's like, it's fine if I take my time. Like, eh, it's fine. Like, I have a whatever-soul (まあいいか精神). Like, eh, it'll come-soul (まあいつか精神)"


And that's where I'm at. I'm assuming it'll get much heavier in the last 45 minutes, but man, it's just so different from the extremely comfy first hour. She even said she's not taking it negatively but, man, damn.

The bullying camp broke her. She tried so hard and nothing came from it. God damn it all ;_;



She still isn't crying at 1:13, but she sung Yume e no Route at... lessee... 1:05:15. Then a couple more (including JESUS, which might've also served as catalyst).

But she starts talking about the marathon at 1:06:15



1:15 "Do you think you're cute?" "No, I don't. I'm ugly (不細工). I mean, I'm round over here. And my nose is huge. My eyes small. My forehead long. I'm extremely ugly (ぶす極み)"
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF-



Between 1:16 and 1:19 she went back to normal. She even talked about how she considers Ikumin her rival. How she admired her since the first moment she saw her, how she didn't want to lose to someone that beautiful. That's the Miyu I know.
But then she started talking about SSK, and how that'd just be a dream inside a dream inside a dream. How it'd be impossible. How with her akushukai numbers that wouldn't happen, "but it's fine. I don't mind". But she was nice about it too. Was saying how her fans shouldn't overextert. How if they tell her they wanna be her fans, that's enough to make her happy. ;_;

Most of the fans were being nice. Telling her how her being in the center would be nice and how she's pretty and stuff like. But I'm assuming that dichotomy (the nice fans and the assholes) also fucked with her emotions. But anyway, a bit after 1:20 she was back to normal.

Nako showed up at 1:24. Then fucked off at 1:26.

1:28:55 - Q. "What is it? Did something happen?" A. "It's nothing. It's just that, after a comment, I started feeling down. Hehe."
Q. "Let's be positive." A. "You're right. But once you start feeling down, isn't it a bit hard to start feeling better?"
Q. "Miyuyun, what do you do to recover when you're having it rough?" A. "Let's see... I just properly cry... or think about it."
Q. "You can go ahead and cry. It's OK." A. "So what, you want me to cry in the open, right now? (She sniffs) Jeez, my eyes are watering"
Q. "But you're always bright and energetic, Miyuyun..." A. "Yeah... thank you, everyone. For trying to make me feel better."
She then looks at the screen for 15 seconds, scrolling up. Then laughs.
"It's fine! You don't have to worry about it!"
Silent for another 15 seconds. Her eyes look cloudy. Her voice breaks while reading
Q. "[Something about how she shouldn't wish for a thing, but I don't know what because her voice broke and my jap is shit]" A. "Hehe. I won't."
"Ah. A tear rolled out."
It's about 1:31. You can see the two streams on her cheeks.
"I won't cry. Hehe, I'm crying though."
She then reads something on the screen, and changes posture, sitting forward.
"That's wrong. I just don't have enough time to go meet you. I don't have time to meet you." (referencing the "idols who go meet you" Team 8 slogan thing)
Tears up. Tears roll through her cheeks. Wipes them. 15 seconds.
"I'm sorry (ごめんね)."
Breaks down. But still has a bright voice.
"I cried..."
She's now properly crying and wiping the tears.
"Hehe. Even though I said I wouldn't cry. I'm sorry (ごめんなさい)."
Crying for a while.
"Ah. I'm sorry (ごめんなさい). Seriously. I'm fine. Alright. Ehehe."
Face soaked in tears.
"My nose is running so much... (laughs)"
"Thank you, everyone..."
She was sounding calmer, but now she looks like she's crying more.
"(Laughing) Don't worry about making me fine. Seriously. It's making me tear up."
"Ah. I teared up."
"Ah. This is no good."
Q. "We weren't able to help you." A. "Ehehe. You really did help me. Thank you, everybody. I'm happy."
She reads something. Laughs.
"That's right! There's some strange sweat coming down from up here. What should I do? Ehehe."
Sighs. Looks like she's let it out now.

1:35 is up. The camera only covers her eyebrows up.
"Even though you were supporting me, I cried."
"Don't worry. Don't let it bother you. You're supporting me, that's enough to make me happy. You've all given me the power needed to get off it. I'm fine."
"My eyes are so red (laughs). [itsumo hagimasameteiru?]"
"Ah... Hehe. When was the last time I cried in SHOWROOM? Was it in SSK? When I didn't rank? Ehe."

1:36:10 - Q. "I like your fans' feelings, Miyuyun." A. "Thank you."
Q. "I thought I'd go to bed. But then I didn't." A. "Ehehe. I'm sorry. It's because I cried, right? You dont' need to bother. I'm fine, so please go ahead and sleep."
Q. "Sorry. I wasn't watching earlier, so I don't get why you were crying". A. "(Laughs) It's fine. You don't need to get why I was crying."
The next question is Nako. Maybe the previous one too, I don't know.
Q. "What is it? Are you alright?" A. "Ah! I'm sorry! Nako-chan. Nako-san. I'm sorry. I'm fine. I'm just a crybaby. I'm sorry."
She was looking brighter, but after Nako, she looks down again. Fuck Nako. Miku > * > shit > Nako.
"I won't cry. I'm fine."
Still wiping tears though.
"Naru was here?"
"Ah, I've been taking footage of my head a lot."

This next part is mostly directed at Naru, who's asking questions in the chat, if I'm not mistaken
"Naru? Where are you, Naru? Kuranoo-chan? Naru, are you here? Ah, you're streaming. So you were worried about me while streaming? Why? Why did you worry?"
"Why did you know I was crying?"
"Hehe. 'I can only see your forehead', he says. Here." and she fixes the camera to properly show her face.
"Ah. So some fans went and told you. That's what happened."
"Ehehe. You shouldn't have gone and blabbed."
"It's just that some of the stuff that some fans were saying was painful. Ehehe. But that's all I'm saying about the subject. Hehehe. Just, faced reality. Oh my."


"You want to ask for something, Naru? What is that?"
"You have my back. Thank you."
"Yoshino won't lose. I'll try my best."
Eyes watering again.
"Yuiyui apparently LINEd me too? Are you serious? 'Everybody's watching', it says."
"Stop it. I'm crying, so don't."
Indeed. She's crying again.
"Yabai, yabai, yabai."
"I'm fine."
"Yuiyui is saying a lot."
"Thank you, Yuiyui. I'll brighten up. But these aren't sad tears. They're happy tears."
"Everybody cheered me up, so I'm crying in bliss."
"Right. They're not sad tears. They're happy tears."

1:42 - Q. "Miyuyu, are you alright?" A. "(Hattori) Yuna is asking! What should I do? Ah... I'm fine."
"Meimei came too? Abe Mei."
Q. "Everybody came, huh?" A. "Yeah, looks like the whole gang is seeing this. Man, I'm tearing up again."
Q. "Miyuyun, I love you" A. "Thank you."
"Alright. I won't cry anymore. I shouldn't cry"
But she's crying.
Q. "What happened?" A. "Hehe. Nothing. Just, stuff."
"Ah. Nako-san is saying we should take a picture next time. Yes. Let's take a picture next time. Please do, even if it's just me."

1:44:10 - "I'm crying because (Shimoaoki) Karin is here, you say? Hehe."
"I'm so happy. Everyone got worried about me. I feel like, I'm so sorry. It's inexcusable of me."
"I've made (Hirose Natsuki) Nacchan worried? Hehehe. I'm so sorry, seriously..."
"My nose is all red! Ehehe!"
"I'm so sorry, seriously. About making you worry. It's inexcusable. I'm fine. Thank you, everybody."
"I'm sorry, seriously. About crying. Ehehe. This is no good, right?"
"This? This is Eighto-kun." (DO WANT. It's not one of the small ones. It's a full-size plush.)
"I'm not troubled! I'm fine."
"(Abe) Mei-chan came, it says. They all came! Wait a moment, OK?"
Points the camera to her head while reading.
"Meimei. Where is Meimei? I can't find Meimei, ehehe."

1:46:15 - Q. "Let's try our best." A. "Ah! Abe Mei! Thank you! Let's try our best. Thank you. Let's try our best in Shimane, OK, Abe Mei?"
"Let's try our best in Shimane together, alright, Abe Mei? Ah, Nacchan will talk to me later. Thank you, Nacchan. I'm so sorry."
"(Laughs) Rinrin threw me 25 stars. Ehehehe. Thank you, Rinrin! Thank you! I'm so happy! Everyone..."
"Yes. Okabe Rinrin. Rinrin is so kind..."
"You don't often bump yourself into such kindness, right?"
"Everyone's so nice... thank you so much."
"So many stars! There's so many stars coming this way! I'm so happy. Thank you."
"Nanamin is watching too? 'Good evening.' (Laughs) Good evening, she says."
"Thank you, everyone. I'm really so sorry. That's right. We're comrades."

1:48:40 - Q. "8 is the best. Glad we're in 8, right Miyuyun?" A. "You're right. I'm glad I'm in 8."
"I wanna do Halloween or something. For Halloween, I wanna do cosplay or something, but I don't know. I might not."
"My nose is running too much!"

Q. "I like a tear-stained face like that." A. "Ehehe."
Q. "Team 8 saiko ka yo." A. "Seriously, that's right. Team 8 saiko da yo."
Q. "Miyuyun, try your best." A. "Thank you! Will do!"
Q. "Don't cry anymore. This big sister of yours will get mad" (referencing one of her fans who she talked with during the first, cheerful hour. Apparently her fans treat her like a little sister)
A. "You're wrong. These are tears of happiness. Tears of happiness. Tears of happiness. They're not tears of sadness."
Q. "[Torakaerarenatte? Fuck knows]" A. "[Ditto]"
"Jeez. I cried."
Q. "If they're tears of happines, I'll forgive you" A. "Ehehe."
Q. "Are you alright?" A. "I'm alright. Thank you. Thank you for worrying about me."
Counting viewers...
Q. "I love you the most, Miyuyun." A. "Thank you!"
"Only 10 more minutes, alright? Only 10 more minutes."
Q. "[Something about how you feel better after crying, read fast af]" A. "True. But, there's a time and place. There's places where you should cry and places where you shouldn't. Ehehe. But my feelings got the best of me."
Q. "Shimane. Please come to Shimane" A. "Gladly."
Q. "Calmed down?" A. "(Nods) Thank you! Everyone, for worrying you... and the 8 members too... I mean it, I'm so sorry. Thank you, everyone. I'm sorry."
Q. "Tour in Ooita." A. "Right. We don't have one. Ehehe. Can't be helped. It's because I haven't had enough power. So we have no events."
And she goes down again.
Q. "Get some crying kid work." A. "(Laughs) Don't treat me like a kid" Laughs more, but a tear rolls down. And again. And again.
Q. "You're still a kid." A. "(Laughs)"
Q. "Crying while laughing? Yabai" A. "Ah. Seriously. I'm so sorry. Ehehe."
Q. "Don't cry." A. "Tears of happiness. Yup. 7 minutes left."
Q. "Fall is nice." A. (laughs)
Q. "Show us your face. (She does)." A. "My face is all red though. Because I cried."
Q. "There's lots of comments." A. "Right? (Laughs). To everyone who came, thank you. Even though you've bumped with this ugly face."
Q. "Miyuyun, you're not alone." A. "Thank you. Everyo- n- is- don't say that..."
Waterworks on both sides of the screen.
"No. No. No. No. Phew. Phew."
Those tears are running though.
"(Laughs) See? I said I wouldn't cry, but I am. What do I do? I won't cry. I will not cry. Ehehe."
Then she's asked and then talks about those beauty masks. Can't translate because fuck knows. But she laughs, so that's nice.

1:55:25 - "Right. Only 4 minutes left."
She's cleaning their nose with a tissue.
"Gift me some tissues, please. Seriously. Hehehe. I really want some tissues right now. Some soft tissues. TISHU PURIZU (laughs)."

1:55:55 - "No. Not at all. I have never thought I am lacking in support. I've never thought that."
Q. "Did all the world's Sasshi fans move here?" A. "Hehehe. I wonder. Ehehehe."
"Just 200 more. Ah, there's only 3 minutes left! I don't think we'll make it!"
"It's not possible, guys."
Q. "We're 100,000 in spirit." A. "Ehehehehe! Thank you!"
Q. "Quite a lot has happened in this Miyu world! (Referencing something she said in the first hour)" A. "Right? A lot happened."
Q. "Thanks for today's stream." A. "No, thank you. For watching this messy stream. I cried, but, I'm fine. Thanks for your concern."
"I'll stream tomorrow too, at 16:00 or thereabouts. Until 9. I don't know if I'll manage to be on at 16, but... I'll be on at 16."
Q. "I'll give you a tissue in the theater." A. "Ehehe. Understood. So please try your best at getting some tissues."
"'I will', he says. 2 minutes left."
Q. "Don't cry anymore." A. "I won't cry. Right. I won't cry. Thank you very much."
"Ah. 100 left? And only 1 minute. Not gonna happen. Impossible, right? Let's give up! It's only 1 minute! Let's give up!"
"Huh? We made it? We made it! Thank you! I'll try my best not to cry tomorrow, OK? With all my strenght. I'll try my best. Thank you. Thank you, everyone. I'm happy. For you to be my fan, I'm so happy! I'm happy! Thank you! 5 seconds left. Bye bye. Tomorrow at 16! I'll also be on mobame. See you!"