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- FACADE STAGEPLAY
- Thu Apr 18 14 18 28 2019
- GRACE
- Trip, when are you going to get rid of this?
- TRIP
- What, Grace... this?
- GRACE
- Yes, you know how I feel about it -- -- (interrupted)
- (Sergio knocks on the front door.)
- (Sergio knocks on the front door.)
- (Sergio knocks on the front door.)
- TRIP
- I know I -- (interrupted)
- TRIP
- Oh, he's here!
- GRACE
- What?! You told me it'd be an hour from now!
- (Sergio knocks on the front door.)
- (Sergio knocks on the front door.)
- (Sergio knocks on the front door.)
- (Sergio knocks on the front door.)
- (Sergio knocks on the front door.)
- (Sergio knocks on the front door.)
- TRIP
- No, he's right on time!
- (Sergio knocks on the front door.)
- (Sergio knocks on the front door.)
- (Sergio knocks on the front door.)
- (Sergio knocks on the front door.)
- (Sergio knocks on the front door.)
- GRACE
- God... Trip!
- (Sergio knocks on the front door.)
- (Sergio knocks on the front door.)
- (Sergio knocks on the front door.)
- (Sergio knocks on the front door.)
- (Sergio knocks on the front door.)
- (Sergio knocks on the front door.)
- (Sergio knocks on the front door.)
- (Sergio knocks on the front door.)
- (Sergio knocks on the front door.)
- (Sergio knocks on the front door.)
- (Sergio knocks on the front door.)
- (Sergio knocks on the front door.)
- (Sergio knocks on the front door.)
- (Sergio knocks on the front door.)
- (Sergio knocks on the front door.)
- (Sergio knocks on the front door.)
- (Sergio knocks on the front door.)
- (Trip opens the front door.)
- TRIP
- Sergio!!
- TRIP
- Hey! God it's been so long since we've seen you! How are you doing, man?
- SERGIO
- Not long enough
- TRIP
- Ha ha ha!
- TRIP
- Wow, it's so great to see you after so long.
- TRIP
- Come on in!
- TRIP
- Uh, I'll -- I'll go get Grace...
- TRIP
- (unintelligable arguing)
- SERGIO
- Whatever
- TRIP
- (unintelligable arguing)
- TRIP
- (unintelligable arguing)
- (SERGIO picks up a trinket 1.)
- (SERGIO puts down a trinket 1.)
- (SERGIO picks up a trinket 1.)
- (SERGIO puts down a trinket 1.)
- GRACE
- Sergio,
- GRACE
- Hi! How are you? Oh it's so nice to see you, it feels like it's been forever!
- SERGIO
- Woah momma
- GRACE
- Oh, H-mmm (happy smile sound)
- GRACE
- And, I've got to say, you look really good!
- GRACE
- So come on in, make yourself at home!
- TRIP
- Huh, I'll close the door.
- SERGIO
- Since when were you so stacked?
- GRACE
- Uh...
- (Trip closes the front door.)
- (SERGIO sits on the couch.)
- TRIP
- Sergio, let me get you a drink.
- PHONE
- ** RING **
- GRACE
- Oh, I'll get it --
- TRIP
- No, no no no, our friend's here, we can let the answering machine get it.
- (SERGIO gets up from the couch.)
- PHONE
- ** RING **
- GRACE
- Trip, no, I want --
- TRIP
- Grace, come on, don't be rude.
- TRIP
- Besides it's probably some telemarketer trying to sell us another set of timeless New England antiques for the master bathroom, heh, heh. -- (interrupted)
- PHONE
- ** RING **
- (SERGIO picks up the phone.)
- PHONE
- Hello? Hello?
- TRIP
- Sergio, no! Don't do that.
- PHONE
- Who is this? Travis, is that you? This is your mother.
- TRIP
- Uhh, that's my mother, I can hear her loud voice.
- SERGIO
- Hello
- PHONE
- I don't recognize your voice...
- GRACE
- Oh!
- PHONE
- I -- I think I have the wrong number... ** click **
- TRIP
- Okay, she's confused, as usual... just -- just hang it up.
- SERGIO
- Oh yes
- SERGIO
- My black boyfried sounds just like
- GRACE
- Oh, I wanted to say hello -- -- (interrupted)
- TRIP
- Y -- yeah, heh, no, I, uh -- I can talk to my parents later.
- (SERGIO puts down the phone.)
- GRACE
- Anyhow, Trip's parents... They're sweet people, really down to earth --
- TRIP
- Uhh, no, they're ignorant, they wouldn't know what a cumberbund from a cucumber.
- GRACE
- (frustrated sigh)
- TRIP
- Well, we're all friends here, uh...
- (SERGIO picks up a trinket 1.)
- GRACE
- So, Sergio, ha, maybe you can give me your honest opinion about where I went wrong with my new decorating, uhh...
- TRIP
- Oh, Grace, no, no, h -- how can you say that? -- (interrupted)
- GRACE
- (little sigh)
- SERGIO
- Dildo?
- GRACE
- Oh, um, well... I -- I want to ask you...
- GRACE
- Uhh, you know, everybody loves the view from our balcony...
- TRIP
- Yeah, yeah, it really cheers me up to stand here and look out...
- (SERGIO puts down a trinket 1.)
- GRACE
- but I'd really rather see some trees or something... a natural green would enhance the colors of the room so much better.
- TRIP
- Oh no, no... -- (interrupted)
- TRIP
- W -- well, uh, it, it always amazes me, how after a full day's work designing magazine ads, Grace still has the energy to decorate... -- (interrupted)
- SERGIO
- What would Maria think of this?
- TRIP
- You...
- TRIP
- You think...
- TRIP
- Maria...
- TRIP
- Ha ha, ha, oh, you're -- you're quite the kidder tonight, ha ha ha...
- GRACE
- Ha, yeah, ha ha...
- TRIP
- Ha ha, heh, never afraid to say anything that pops into your mind, ha heh heh...
- SERGIO
- What about some drinks?
- TRIP
- Oh, yeah, let me fix us all some drinks in a sec! -- (interrupted)
- TRIP
- Ah it's great because you get to be the first to try my recently acquired set of imported drinking glasses.
- GRACE
- Uhh... I'm sure I can return most of this, and -- (interrupted)
- SERGIO
- I wanna get crunk.
- TRIP
- Grace, everything's fine, no one is complaining about your decorating...
- GRACE
- Trip, I'm sorry but this room is just not working... I'm going to return what furniture I can, and redo it.
- (SERGIO sits on the couch.)
- TRIP
- (annoyed sigh) God, you're such a perfectionist.
- TRIP
- So! Drinks!
- TRIP
- How does a martini sound?
- TRIP
- It's what we drink at these high-class poker games I go to with the execs at work.
- GRACE
- Trip, you don't need to push the high class drinks thing on our guests...
- TRIP
- Uh, Sergio, y -- you'll love it, what do you say?
- SERGIO
- Vodka
- TRIP
- What...? uh... Yeah! Oh, why didn't I think of that?
- GRACE
- Sergio, Trip's getting a little carried away... maybe you just want some juice, or a mineral water?
- TRIP
- Grace... come on...!
- SERGIO
- Vodka
- TRIP
- What...? uh... Oh! Yeah, that's even better! Great!
- TRIP
- Okay! Good! I'll just whip up these bad boys real quick!
- GRACE
- (little sigh) Trip would try to serve you one of his high class drinks before even saying hello if he could.
- TRIP
- (quiet humming)
- TRIP
- Grace, I know what you want, but I'll ask anyway... what would you like to drink?
- GRACE
- Um, I'd like a simple glass of Chardonnay, thank you.
- TRIP
- Ah, Chardonnay, certainly.
- SERGIO
- Damn is that your camel toe?
- GRACE
- hmmm Sergio, seeing you brings back wonderful memories, really...
- TRIP
- Ye -- yeah...
- TRIP
- Huh, I just thought -- (interrupted)
- TRIP
- Ah, crap!
- GRACE
- What was that?
- SERGIO
- Got a coochie like a fertile vally
- TRIP
- Ah, I broke two of my new crystal wine glasses.
- (SERGIO gets up from the couch.)
- GRACE
- (little sigh) Uhh, Trip, relax, try not get so stressed out when you make drinks.
- TRIP
- (frustrated sigh)
- TRIP
- Yeah, heh, uh... r - remember how you introduced us almost exactly ten years ago tonight?
- SERGIO
- Where is my fun juice?
- TRIP
- Chardonnay, come and get it.
- (SERGIO picks up a Grace's drink.)
- GRACE
- (little sigh)
- (SERGIO sips his Grace's drink.)
- (SERGIO sips his Grace's drink.)
- (SERGIO puts down a Grace's drink.)
- (SERGIO picks up a Grace's drink.)
- TRIP
- Oh, yeah, you know, I -- I think I'll fix us another drink in not too long...
- (SERGIO sips his Grace's drink.)
- (SERGIO sips his Grace's drink.)
- (SERGIO sips his Grace's drink.)
- (SERGIO sips his Grace's drink.)
- TRIP
- So, ten years ago... that's when you introduced us, right?
- (SERGIO sips his Grace's drink.)
- (SERGIO sips his Grace's drink.)
- (SERGIO sips his Grace's drink.)
- (SERGIO sips his Grace's drink.)
- (SERGIO puts down a Grace's drink.)
- TRIP
- Um, well, without you, we wouldn't even have this celebration.
- SERGIO
- Oh yeah
- TRIP
- Here you are!
- (SERGIO picks up a player's drink.)
- GRACE
- (big sigh)
- GRACE
- Oh God, Sergio, I hope you didn't come here tonight to be entertained...
- (SERGIO sips his player's drink.)
- (SERGIO sips his player's drink.)
- (SERGIO sips his player's drink.)
- (SERGIO sips his player's drink.)
- TRIP
- What?
- (SERGIO sips his player's drink.)
- GRACE
- Listen to us, we're arguing in front of our friend.
- (SERGIO sips his player's drink.)
- (SERGIO sips his player's drink.)
- TRIP
- Grace, come on, it's not helping things for you to say that...
- (SERGIO sips his player's drink.)
- GRACE
- Trip, there's nothing wrong with disagreeing in front of our friend --
- TRIP
- Disagreeing?! We're NOT disagreeing. We're, we're not.
- (SERGIO puts down a player's drink.)
- TRIP
- (frustrated sigh) Sheejus.
- SERGIO
- Very thirsty!
- GRACE
- (happy but tense sigh)
- GRACE
- Sergio,
- GRACE
- you and I are getting along so well tonight...
- GRACE
- Stay there for a moment...
- GRACE
- I want your opinion. Stay there.
- (Trip sips his Trip's drink.)
- SERGIO
- What?
- GRACE
- W -- well, wait, stay there for a sec.
- GRACE
- Ugh, I'm getting so tired of looking at this god awful armoire.
- GRACE
- Maybe if I replaced it with... um...
- SERGIO
- I need more drink!
- TRIP
- Do you... do you remember, Grace...
- GRACE
- What.
- TRIP
- How I proposed to you.
- GRACE
- Oh, God, Trip --
- TRIP
- Here, Sergio, I'll show you.
- TRIP
- It was at Grace's parents' house, Christmas, senior year of college --
- GRACE
- Trip, what are you doing?!
- TRIP
- I got on one knee, in front of everybody, and --
- GRACE
- Stop it, Trip!
- TRIP
- I pulled out a diamond ring --
- GRACE
- Trip!
- TRIP
- And I said, Grace, will you marry me?
- TRIP
- Heh, is -- is that romantic or what?!
- SERGIO
- Why haven't you proposed to me?
- TRIP
- Sergio, yes? Very romantic?
- SERGIO
- Dreadful
- TRIP
- Oh, um, well...
- GRACE
- (frustrated sigh) Sergio, I'm sorry you have to see this --
- TRIP
- Grace, I'm just kidding around, I mean I --
- TRIP
- I just wanted to show our friend --
- GRACE
- No, Trip, no, it's embarrassing, okay?
- GRACE
- (little sigh)
- SERGIO
- I can't understand you two
- GRACE
- God.
- TRIP
- Look, mmm... mmm... look I'm sorry...
- GRACE
- I don't know what's gotten into him.
- GRACE
- (clears throat)
- TRIP
- Sergio, I -- I want you to look at this photo from our recent trip to Italy... -- (interrupted)
- (SERGIO kisses grace.)
- TRIP
- uh, um...
- GRACE
- (nervous coughing)
- TRIP
- (nervous coughing)
- TRIP
- why...
- GRACE
- (nervous coughing)
- TRIP
- heh, ha ha...
- TRIP
- ha ha ha!
- GRACE
- ha ha ha ha ha, heh...
- GRACE
- ha ha ha ha!!
- TRIP
- Ha ha ha, heh, Sergio,
- GRACE
- heh heh...
- TRIP
- you maniac! heh heh... you sex maniac! Ha ha, never afraid to...
- SERGIO
- Don't walk up to me
- TRIP
- push our little buttons...
- TRIP
- heh heh, you're crazy, heh, you know that?
- TRIP
- ha ha...
- SERGIO
- unless you want kissy
- TRIP
- (big sigh)
- TRIP
- Anyway, uh... what -- what were we talking about?
- TRIP
- Uhh, you're driving me insane!
- TRIP
- Your... goddamn decorating...
- TRIP
- You're never satisfied with anything! You're never happy, never ever satisfied with anything.
- SERGIO
- Woah calm down
- TRIP
- Huh? What is this you're saying? -- (interrupted)
- GRACE
- (impatient sigh) Sergio, can you believe this?
- GRACE
- (frustrated sigh)
- TRIP
- Uh huh, you...
- TRIP
- I can guess what you're about to say... -- (interrupted)
- SERGIO
- Chill both of you
- TRIP
- What? What -- what are you saying to me? What?
- GRACE
- God, what did you say? Trip... is cheating...
- GRACE
- I'm getting really upset at this talk about cheating... This is not funny.... I'm getting really upset.
- TRIP
- Oh, Jesus...!
- TRIP
- Alright, you know what, Sergio,
- TRIP
- I need to ask you something.
- GRACE
- Trip --
- TRIP
- Grace, let me ask our guest a question.
- TRIP
- Sergio, yes or no...
- TRIP
- A person in a marriage should _believe it_ when one tells the other how they feel about them, right?
- GRACE
- What?
- SERGIO
- Yes?
- TRIP
- I mean, -- (interrupted)
- TRIP
- Look, don't bother answering, I don't need to hear it!
- TRIP
- Uhh, Grace, I love you, you're my wife, I love you, and you... are accusing me of... I don't know what, what are you accusing me of? I love you, don't you know that?!
- GRACE
- Oh, I can't believe...!
- SERGIO
- Maria
- GRACE
- Uhh! Yeah, good, get out of my sight!
- SERGIO
- I'm scared!
- GRACE
- I don't want to look at you!
- GRACE
- Dammit, Trip!
- GRACE
- uhh!
- (SERGIO picks up the red wine bottle.)
- (SERGIO puts down the red wine bottle.)
- (SERGIO picks up the red wine bottle.)
- (SERGIO puts down the red wine bottle.)
- (SERGIO picks up the red wine bottle.)
- GRACE
- Sergio, I can't believe you have to see this...
- (SERGIO puts down the red wine bottle.)
- (SERGIO picks up the red wine bottle.)
- (SERGIO puts down the red wine bottle.)
- GRACE
- uhh...
- SERGIO
- I need dronk
- SERGIO
- ase
- GRACE
- What are you saying? What?
- TRIP
- Grace, what the hell are you saying about me in there?
- GRACE
- I wasn't talking about you!
- SERGIO
- please
- GRACE
- Sergio, (annoyed sigh) Trip is sometimes so...
- TRIP
- Oh, we're talking about me, are we?
- GRACE
- What?
- TRIP
- Grace, even though you're now a creative director at work,
- SERGIO
- maybe
- GRACE
- Sergio, you see, this is what I've had to put up with, for ten goddamn years.
- GRACE
- Sergio, what, is there something I should do? -- (interrupted)
- SERGIO
- DRINKS PLEASE
- TRIP
- Sergio, does it look like I want to fix you drinks right now? -- (interrupted)
- SERGIO
- I BEG YOU
- GRACE
- Let's keep talking about Trip.
- TRIP
- See, what I've tried to do, Sergio, is help Grace somehow get over her art problem.
- (SERGIO picks up a Trip's drink.)
- GRACE
- My problem? You have the problem!
- (SERGIO sips his Trip's drink.)
- (SERGIO sips his Trip's drink.)
- (SERGIO sips his Trip's drink.)
- GRACE
- No let's -- let's focus on us, our relationship.
- (SERGIO sips his Trip's drink.)
- (SERGIO sips his Trip's drink.)
- TRIP
- What? Oh, Jesus...
- (SERGIO sips his Trip's drink.)
- (SERGIO sips his Trip's drink.)
- (SERGIO puts down a Trip's drink.)
- TRIP
- You know what makes me so angry?
- GRACE
- What?
- SERGIO
- How about instead of that
- TRIP
- How you've so conveniently forgotten how much you used to actually hate painting!
- GRACE
- Sergio, I -- I -- uhh...!
- SERGIO
- We talk about Stolichnaya
- GRACE
- Ah!
- TRIP
- Sergio, you're saying I don't... communicate?
- TRIP
- No, wait a minute, I reach out to Grace, I really do...!
- TRIP
- I try to be open, and honest... you know...
- GRACE
- Sergio, Oh my God...
- SERGIO
- I'm saying you don't serve drinks
- GRACE
- God, Sergio, I'm getting really tired of talking about Trip's stuff, God...
- GRACE
- (frustrated sigh)
- GRACE
- Let's talk some more about Trip.
- GRACE
- Sergio, it's time that Trip finally just admits that our marriage --
- SERGIO
- I'm getting really tired of you!
- TRIP
- Grace, don't, no, you don't need to --
- GRACE
- Admits that our marriage is not --
- TRIP
- Stop it, stop it! (annoyed sigh)
- SERGIO
- Look at me
- GRACE
- Uhh...! God...!
- (SERGIO kisses trip.)
- TRIP
- Alright, Sergio, that's it, you've got to leave.
- (Trip opens the front door.)
- TRIP
- We'll be fine -- you should just go.
- (Trip closes the front door.)
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