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- Better first-POV voice than Cute Mutants, but still wonky in chronology.
- Dower, should be dour.
- Violet's got a pretty solid character.
- May isn't that defined, for such importance.
- Kai = nonbinary.
- The noted of lack of gender pronouns in history.
- Another grammar "I wish could."
- Too many em-dashes.
- Welp, that ending didn't hold back. Earth-cast is definitely allowed to be flawed and complicated, Velaryma's cast members are notably weaker. Character voice wasn't bad at all.
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