Grid Achievements
by Gordon Ball on Tuesday, December 6, 2011 at 1:13pm
Some unlockable achievements for using Grid computing.

Baptism of Fire - Run your first grid job.
Take The Blue Pill - Escape the sandbox.
Lazarus -  A job reported killed still returns results.
I'm Doing Science And I'm Still Alive - A job resists three separate attempts to kill it.
Heisenjob - A job that produces both successes and at least two different error conditions on a homogenous dataset.
By The Numbers - Collect 50 different return codes.
Calculating Tea - A job that is killed for excess CPU usage.
Accurate Representation of Pi - A job killed for excess memory usage.
Divine Intervention - A job that brings you the attention of a sysadmin.
Self Aware - A job which adapts itself depending on which site it is running at.
Kicking The Puppy - A job that makes a sysadmin cry.
Nemesis - Your face graces a sysadmin's darts board.
Woodpecker - A job that crashes a worker node requiring a manual restart.
Redundant Array of Inexpensive Disks - A job that thrashes a hard disk to death.
The Only Way To Be Sure - A job that sets fire to a tape library.
Whom the Gods Would Destroy - Receive a expeditious response to a ticket.
Hammer of the Gods - Be blacklisted from one or more sites.
Singularity - Consume your own lifetime's worth of CPU time.
The Pedantry Is Strong With This One  - Invoke Zeno's Paradox in relation to "Singularity".
Hello World - A job that sends you email.
Time's Arrow - A job submitted with IP over neutrino flux which returns before submission.
Total Recall - Every job of at least 100 succeeds and stages out.
The Sun Never Sets On - A task running concurrently on six continents.
Identity Matrix - A job that turns out to do nothing but output a copy of the input.
Power Overwhelming - Get root on the worker node.
Replicant - A job that submits other jobs.
Someone Set Us Up The Bomb - A job that forkbombs.
+1 Histogram of Hopeful Significance - Re-run at least 100 jobs to produce one extra histogram.
Fine Tuning Problem - Re-run at least 100 jobs to change one integer or float parameter.
We Have To Go Deeper - Run a job that is itself a VM on a site using VMs.
Sightseer - Successfully run jobs at 50 different sites.
Most Favoured Nation - A  job submitted without restriction runs entirely within one country.
Love Handles - Run out of file descriptors.
False Advertising - Jobs die trying to find data a site claims it has.
We Are Legion - Have 1000 jobs running concurrently.
Not A Big Truck But A Series Of Tubes - A job that succeeds but times out trying to stage out the results.
FYI I Am A Spy - Run as someone else's VO.
Skynet By Any Other Name - Use the grid to plan your next move in Risk.
Limbo - Accomplish nothing between submitting jobs and receiving their output.
Alt-Tab Master - Gain at least one level between submitting jobs and receiving their output.
Ludicrous Speed - Jobs that really do complete successfully in the time it takes to drink a coffee.
Pseudorapidity - Jobs that really do complete successfully in the time it takes to drink coffee in R1 in the summer.
Strata - Forget to change the stage-out location and overwrite old but needed results.
M-M-M-Monster Kill - Successfully kill at least 100 jobs.
Geneva Convention - Successfully kill at least 1000 jobs.
Duke Nukem Forever - A job that claims to still be alive a month after submission.
Local Gauge Invariance - A bug that manifests itself only when run remotely.
Spontaneous Symmetry Breaking - A job that produces different results when run twice.
Cold War - Submit jobs from the US to Russia, or vice-versa.
Krasniy Oktyabr - Actually get any jobs back from Russia.
Trust Your Feelings - Submit a job using a freshly-compiled binary you haven't tested locally.
Scott of the Antarctic - A job that runs completely and then dies trying to save the output.
Dark Matter - A job that disappears without trace.
For Your Eyes Only - A job that fails because of badly configured file permissions.
The Only Winning Move - Run a grid jobs without directly using or dynamically linking to ROOT at any time.
The House Always Wins - Generate at least a million events of Monte-Carlo without the appropriate process turned on.
Lambda Complex - Plot the completion times of your jobs and calculate their half-life.
Higgs Mass Correction - A job that gets trapped in an infinite loop.
Parity Violation - A job that returns corrupted data.