(((Anonfilly)))

>Be a jew in Auschwitz.
>You have been the talk among high ranking officers lately since you survived several trips to the showers and other execution methods and torture methods. You survived by sticking out your nose out of the gas chamber's wooden door's keyhole. You acquired honey by making a makeshift hornets' nest of cut hair and a shoe pile. Later you smeared the eagle, in the bear and eagle cage with it, which caused the bear to ignore you and go for the eagle instead. You constructed a faradays cage by the dental braces you had managed to get from ransacking the piles of ashes that was left after the cremation. With the cage, you survived the electrifying floor and you lucked out on the rollercoaster of death. It was after you survived being cremated alive that Dr. Mangele took an especial interest in you.  By the way, you survived that one by tricking the only negro honorary Aryan in the Third Reich, officer Tyrone, of his cool-aid.
>When doctor Mangler came by to see you, you had lost your mother again. This time a prison guard had taken the lampshade that was your mother for a game of charades. He intended to imitate a chinse farmer and your mother was going to be a fitting rice hat. You were just about to consult your rabbi, who now was a piece of soap, about this when doctor Mengele, boss-nigga Tyrone, and Heisenberg stepped into your dormitory where you and one hundred to one hundred and twenty guys slept.
>Mengele walked up to you and pointed an accusing finger at you.
"You think you can survive the holocaust? Well, not under my watch," he shouted.
>You involuntarily gulped. You had heard what Mengele was capable of and if you weren't prepared you wouldn't survive.
"You thought you could get away with what you did?" he continued while he struck a pose for some reason. "Do you think Tyrone wouldn't tell me that you lied to him for his cool-aid. He came to me, crying and everything if you can believe it?"
"Mah heart broke n' ah dinndu nuffin."
"Spoken like a true Aryan." He turned to two Jews who were sitting close to them and that were arguing. one of them seemed to demand rent for letting the other borrow his pillow for the night. "He adapts to the costumes of where he goes."
"Sheeit! Mah heart man. I'm gonna let you finish."
>Mengele gave him a warm smile and then turned back to you.
"I will show off to you guys today. I am going to turn this jew into a filly."
"Awesome than I can send him into an alternate dimension where ponies are sentient and..." said Heisenberg.
"No you white jew. There are no alternate dimensions you twit," said Mengele.
>Heisenberg looked dejected.
"Plz, doctor. Can't u let mah homie try," said Tyrone.
"Alright, since it is you Tyrone I can make an exception but Heisenberg can you show me how these ponies look like so I can use them as a mold?"
>This made Heisenberg happy again,"Sure thing."
>After careful inspection through a portal to Equestria, Mengele decomposed you and then strung you back together. With craftsmanship that would make anyone jealous. Remeber dedication is manhood. After everything was done, you were now a green-furred pony filly with black hair but to your disappointment, you had lost you jewfro. Mengele had also added a question mark sign on your flank since he had seen them on ponies but not understood their purpose, he had thought he could spite the ponies by this subtle way of criticising them.
>You said farewell to Mengele and the others. You were a bit reluctant to go thought who knew there could be even more work waiting for you on the other side. When you had disappeared, Heisen berg aksed Mengele, "Wait weren't you going kill that guy?"
"Nein!!"
"SHEEEEEEEIT!!!!"
>As you landed on the other side you were determined to start your new life as you did your last so you began to kvetch.
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>You noticed immediately that, if there were Jews here they weren't in control. How did you notice this? The numbers on the price tags on the wares in the nearby supermarket in the town, which you had ended up in, were all rounded.
>You learned that the currency of this world were bits and the rule of state was monarchy. Everyone you meet greeted you kindly. This was a paradise for a parasite.
>You decided to trick someone into taking care of you so you signed up for the nearest orphanage. As luck would have it, the local princess came a week later to visit the orphanage for a foal to adopt. During that week, you had met this worlds equivalent of jews, griffins, and schwartza, zebras. You had also realized that just like the jews in your world they barely cared for anyone else but if they did, it was because it was beneficial for themselves and they were also Jewish. Therefore you couldn't team up with the griffin, you had to outdo him.
>The orphanage only had you three at the moment so it was a contest between you to see, which of you could be taken in by the princess. Of course, if you became adopted by the princess, you wouldn't have to worry about any efforts at economy ever again but let's be real here your kind were not known for your temperance.
>All of you three were working on your sob story so that you might be able to guilt trip her into adopting you. The griffin had told our caretaker before that he was a thirty-third generation survivor of Sombra's rule and had inherited trauma because of it. He had also painted a big sun on his forehead and next to it he had written, "Anon was here." Anon was your new name by the way. You had been named, by the caretaker, anonymous because of your ass tattoo.
>You didn't know what sob story the zebra had, though. You had only thought it natural that he would have one but maybe he had other priorities. Right, now he was chasing a pegasus filly, who was apparently named Scoteloo.
>You were thinking about mention to the princess that you had been gassed three times but how could you prove it? Instead, you opted for a better strategy. You were a filly now. Way cuter than the zebra and the griffin.
>The princess meets them in the playroom. She gave you all a smile, which seemed almost obligatory with the exception of you. Her smile seemed genuine towards you. She was just about to greet them when the zebra began crying furisly and shouted, "We wus kangz n' sheeit. Wit flying pyramids."
>You suspected the griffin had told him to go crazy overboard to make himself seem more normal or maybe he had heard sobstory equals good and just chimped out. Miss Blossom Forth, our caretaker, dragged the zebra out of the room. Before she managed to leave, Princess Twilight asked, "Is he going to be, okey?"
"Yes, don't worry he can be like this sometimes when had had to much grape juice. I will just drag him out of here  so he doesn't cause a riot. Continue talk with the other two."
 >Twilight turned back to them and saw the sun on  the  griffins forehead and gasped.
"Why have you that on your head?"
"Anon drew this on me and told me that all griffins were greedy bastards!" he pointed a finger at you.
>Fuck, you thought. The game was over. Well played, griffin. Well played.
>Twilight wrinkled the area between her eyes and lifted upper lip in disgust and then she looked down on the ground as she spoke.
>"To tell you the truth. I had intended to look at all orphanage before I decided but I no longer want to take the risk that you will be taken by someone else. Oh, you poor thing! You must have suffered among these fiends."
>The griffin was rubbing his claws together. She walked up to them and then preceded to embrace Anon.
"You are just as racist as I was your age, Anon."
>You had to use all your willpower to stop your OCD from rubbing your hooves together.

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>After Twilight had signed the adoption papers, the first leisure activity you and your new mother did was visiting sugar cube corner or as you liked to call her sabbashgoy. Twilight had ordered waffles. Your first thought was, is this kosher? Had the cakes made it without milk? [Read: OCD rituals equal theological depth.] Mrs. Cake brought out a glass jar with strawberry jam and placed it on your table. Twilight took a spoon of it and tipped it as she dragged it on the waffle on your plate. This way she drew with jam two "S"s on your waffle. She then winked at you.
>As you were eating, your mouth began to water with the thought that the Cakes might be selling bagels as well. You were about to ask Twilight about it but you thought it better not to. Since so many things were similar in this world, you weren't sure if bagels were something that would give away who you were but then again you were a filly now from another dimension. What would she even suspect?

shlomo