田 「Fortune Cafe 田 :  田  田 Before 田 」  田 From Vol 1 田  Chapter 1 田
 田 Otani 田  High School
 田 Teacher's Lounge
 田 Otani 田  High School
「 田 Fortune Cafe 田 :  田 After 田 」  田 From Vol 1  田 Chapter 2 田
 田 Cafe
 田 Seaside
 田 Café Seaside
“There are no bad customers.
Only bad stores.”
— Martin B. Stone
Welcome back, Master.
Fortune Café.  田
Though its facilities may be minimal, it's a place where the customer's every wish is granted.
Even the most grand and luxurious cafés are nothing but empty shacks if they don't provide what the customer seeks.
What'cha doin' over here mister?
Homework.
Really?!
Do you mind if I copy just the math assignment?!
The whole thing's math, though.
Details...
Scoot over.
Just sit across from me.
Aww, but then I'd be looking at it upside down, and I might mess up.
It would have been fine.
It would so have not!
What if I mistake a 9 for a 6,
or the “yo” in katakana for the letter “E”?!
Wait, what if the European writing system came about because someone wrote the letters wrong?
If that's true, then it'd be the discovery of the century!
Katakana doesn't exist outside of Japan.
Whatever. Just hurry up and copy it.
Thanks a bunch!
A café where I can be alone with Arashiyama!
I must be in heaven!
Hmm?
Uh, n-nothing...
Men desperately seek happiness, but happiness does not come looking for them.
For seldom does happiness visit men of its own volition.
Pull the head twice, and it slides up.  田
Arashiyama.
You copied someone's homework, didn't you?
What?!
Most of your answers are correct.
That's a baseless accusation!
I can do my homework when I have to.
But you wrote the letter “I” instead of “1”.
That aside, did you not find it odd when you wrote I=0 or 1=0?
Umm, well...
So what?
I'll see you in the teacher's lounge after school!
Man! The one time I decide to do my homework and this happens.
You got what you deserved.
If I have to sit through another one of his lectures, I'll be late for work.
Oh, you have a job?
Yeah. I work at a nearby café as a maid.
You mean a maid café?!
Yup, exactly!
I just started recently, though.
Wow, that's pretty cool.
They finally opened up a café near here, huh?
Gosh, I've always loved maid cafés.
Sipping tea and chatting with cute little maids.
Hey Arashiyama-san, would you mind if I came by?
Sure, sure! We get so few customers, you'll practically have the place to yourselves!
Yay!
Although, it's run by a grannie from the neighborhood, so it might not be what you'd normally expect.
One's expectations always lead to one of two harsh realities.
Expectations born from anxiety often result in fearfulness,
while high expectations often result in betrayal.
Maid Café “Seaside”.
I'm sure this is the right place, though.
This isn't what I expected...
Normally, no one would expect  田 this 田 .
Heya!
Come on in!
You girls friends of Hotori's?
Yup. Come on guys, have a seat!
There's nobody else here, so sit wherever you want.
Let's see what's on the menu today...
Oh, I know! We got some mincemeat cutlets from Mr. Murakami.
How's that sound?
T-Tatsuno-san?
You...
Hmm?
You call this...
a maid café?!
What the hell is “heya”? Are you a sushi joint or something?
D-did I say that?
You did!
Maid cafés have certain ways to greet their customers, you know!
Hmm. Howdy! Welcome to our maid café!
No! No! NO!
Listen, here's how it's supposed to go.
Not from the throat or the belly, but from the chest, like so:
Welcome home, Master!
The maids I've seen on TV act just like that!
That's just the basics. Now you try.
Aww, do I have to?
Don't “aww” me!
Men will come in droves if you do it right.
You can't just dress up and call yourself a maid!
I'm cool with just the uniform.
Hey, you're pretty good!
How about you work here instead of Hotori?
I'd love to, but I won't have time since I've decided to join a club.
We're gonna join the table tennis club.
But in exchange, the least I could do is train Arashiyama for you.
But I don't wanna do training!
I can't possibly allow this crude little shop to call itself a maid café!
Hotori, just think of it as on the job training, okay?
But I really don't care for the basics.
Mind telling me why you're working as a maid then?
Oh, good timing. Here comes the first catch of the day.
The guy from the cleaners, huh?
This will be your training.
Instant maid course, lesson one.
The maid's greeting!
Go on, just like I showed you.
Ehh, seriously?
There's no better practice than the real thing! Go get 'em!
Now!
You can do it, Arashiyama-san!
Wel-
Wel?
W-wel-
W-Welcome home, Mathter!
Tatsuno-san, she fudged it!
She's still okay!
In fact, her clumsiness made it that more effective!
Strike!
I'M HOME, DAISY!!!
Who the heck are you calling Daisy?!
See? Knocked him outta the park!
Old guys around here are defenseless against that kind of charm, huh?
Granny's special trick is more like shooting the moon.
Instant maid course, lesson two.
The clumsy maid!
Arashiyama-san doesn't really need help being clumsy, though.
You can say that again...
Aren't you guys being just a bit rude now?
It's precise control of one's clumsiness that makes a proper maid.
Master it with both body and mind!
Can I order now, please?
Guatemalan blend, piping hot please.
This is it, Arashiyama-san!
But how am I supposed to be clumsy?
Don't worry. Leave it to me.
Order up.
Haribara-san, Now!
Gotcha!
IT BUUUURNS!!!
Hey, isn't that a little harsh?
She even pulled off a clumsy combo!
She's a prodigy!
What the heck are you doing, huh?!
That was beautiful, Arashiyama-san!
Now take this bucket and run as fast as you can!
I'm so sorry! I'll clean it up right away!
Perfect, right there.
Trip!
She nailed a 3-hit combo this time!
We must have been graced by the gods!
The god of comedy rather than maids, that is.
Or maybe the god of rage!
Do you have a grudge or something?!
It's your fault for compounding your clumsiness!
Is the Guatemalan ready yet?
What's going on? It's pretty busy for a change.
Hey, we've got another bite! Greet the boy properly now!
Sanada-kun?
How come you're all wet?
I'm dripping wet 'cause I'm a good girl.
Did Mr. Moriaki chew you out already?
Oops, I forgot.
Don't tell him you copied me, or else I'll get yelled at also!
A moment, Arashiyama-san.
W-what's up?
If I'm not mistaken, that was attendance number 9, Sanada-kun, right?
Yeah, that's him. I don't know his number though.
How does he know about this place?
Why is he here?
Does he come often?
Sanada's the son of the fishmonger in this neighborhood, so he comes by pretty often.
Why?
Now that I think about it, this maid café's actually quite wonderful!
Head Maid!
I'm the owner to you.
My name is Toshiko Tatsuno.
Please hire me as a maid!
What?!
Tatsuno-san, what about our club?
We're in the table tennis club, remember?
I found my divine calling!
This will make us a full-fledged maid café.
But we'll have more employees than customers.
Fortune Café.
Though its facilities may be minimal, it's a place where the customer's every wish is granted.
Where is Arashiyama?
The words “after school” carry with them both a feeling of excitement, and a tiny bit of loneliness.
For it is a sign that the day is nearing its end.
All righty, let's get ready for another big day!
This is when your day begins?
Hey, Sanada. Tatsuno-san will be part-timing with me starting today!
Huh? You guys were serious about that?
Not quite, I'm still waiting for my clothes to be finished.
Granny Uki said she's been sewing all day.
Wow, those are hand made?
See ya later!
Feel free to come by if you want!
Y-yeah, sure.
Hey, you two.
You wouldn't happen to be violating school regulations by working, would you?
How did Sensei find out?
No idea.
All we can do now...
...is run for it!
Hey! Stay put!
Shoot, I've lost them.
I could have sworn they came this way.
Is this really supposed to fool him?
Stay cool! It's perfectly normal for statues to be at a temple.
It's a mind trick. Nobody will notice.
Where on Earth did they go?!
I better pick up some toilet paper soon.
Man, thanks to him, we're late!
I hope I didn't keep Sanada-kun waiting!
Sorry we're late, Head Maid!
Welcome!
Oh Granny, you don't need to say that to us!
Are you going senile already?
Like hell I am.
I'm talking to the customer right behind you!
Customer? There's no cust-
Oh crap!
Honestly, did you think you could lose me that easily? How ridiculous.
Sensei...
As stated in clause 8 of the student handbook:
Unauthorized part-time jobs are against school regulations.
Item #21: If a student wishes to work,
they must have their guardian's approval and submit it to their homeroom teacher.
My head hurts...
Help me, Nii-san!
Sensei, please stop!
Arashiyama-san's brain is reaching critical mass!
Spare me, Mikuriya-sensei!
Who the hell is Mikuriya?! My name is Moriaki!
Anyway, I will not allow any work unapproved by the school!
Nobody follows the rules anyway!
As your teacher, I can't let it pass now that I know.
Man, he's hard-headed! Definitely a math teacher!
This has been bugging me for a while,
but how did Sensei learn about our job?
Come to think of it, just how did that leak anyway?
Could there be a spy?
Hey, Sanada. Tatsuno-san will be part-timing with me starting today!
That was it!
Nobody “leaked” it, he heard you say it!
So then, this is my fault?
You're as dumb as they come.
At this point, all we can do is obtain permission!
That's right. I didn't come here to make you quit.
But do you think we can get permission for working at a maid café?
We don't have a choice.
We'll use maid-jutsu.
Maid-jutsu?
Serving guests in an elegant, yet illusive manner, guarantees profits.
Such is the way of maid-jutsu.
This is the idea behind maid cafés!
And that doesn't bother your conscience?
Quiet!
It's a showdown between the maid's charm and the teacher's stubbornness.
Yin and Yang!
Good and evil!
White and black!
Dog and monkey!
There's no way I'll submit to you!
This kind of work may seem like a silly diversion to him,
but for me, this is the café that Sanada-kun frequents!
I've finally found my Fortune Café!
Head Maid! Is my outfit ready?
Yeah, it's on a hanger in the back.
Arashiyama-san, let's suit up for war!
Fine...
Salmon is actually a white-flesh fish.
It's been 22 minutes since she said that.
It takes time for a lady to prepare.
Thanks for waiting!
Maid #2. I'll be in your care starting today, Master!
I guess that makes me Maid #1.
Please ask of us whatever you wish, Master.
I lost!
Arashiyama-san?!
I've lost in academics, beauty, and style!
And now a crushing defeat in maid appearance!
Get a grip, Arashiyama-san!
You're forgetting the real enemy!
What good am I?
Well, you do excel in one area that Tatsuno does not.
Huh?
The one thing that you excel in is...
Am I reading into this too much,
or does he actually love me?
Arashiyama, you will forever win over Tatsuno with...
...your eyesight.
Oh...
How cruel...
A teacher, out of all people,
tells me that I fail in every area compared to her, except for eyesight!
Arashiyama-san! Arashiyama-san!!!
Before we even had a chance to strike, he's crushed her confidence, the cornerstone of maid-jutsu!
He's a maid-killer!
This man is a formidable opponent!
Tatsuno-san.
Y-yes sir!
I'd like a cup of black tea.
Right away.
I win!
He's trying to test me, but it'll backfire!
Black tea is my number one specialty!
I'll pour him the perfect tea worthy of a maid!
Head Maid, what kinds of black tea do we have?
Nada.
“Nada” kind?
I don't think I've heard of that kind before...
No, she means we don't serve tea here.
W-what?! You don't serve tea?!
Cake and tea are the staples of a maid café!
When you think maids, you think England!
When you think England, you think gentlemen!
When you think gentlemen, you think tea!
I don't like tea. Besides, it's a hassle to make anyway.
Do you have any idea what the third kanji in “café” means?!
It's “tea”, as in “black tea”!
But the “café” in “maid café” means coffee, doesn't it?
Ohhh! That's not what it means!
I don't really “get” tea anyways.
Like Little Gray, and stuff...
You're thinking of aliens!
Are you referring to Earl Grey?
Yeah. I've also heard of Tard-jeeling.
You're the retard here!
Were you trying to say Darjeeling?
His defense is flawless!
While ours is full of holes.
We're in bad shape!
I know! In that case, I'll turn the tables on him!
Arashiyama-san, I don't care what it is, but go do one of your klutzy moves!
Ehhh?
Just apply what you've learned.
You can do it!
If Arashiyama-san's clumsiness works...
We don't serve tea, so you'll have to settle for coffee, okay?
If it works, we can capitalize on that chance!
Enjoy.
If it works, you'll have mastered maid-jutsu!
Ah! The coffee's fizzing over!
Oh, silly me! I brought you soda instead of coffee!
Nice, Arashiyama-san!
If nothing else, your clumsiness made my heart skip a beat!
I'll fix that right away! Tee hee!
Hold on, Arashiyama.
Coffee is made in a siphon or a coffee machine.
I'd like you to tell me how you managed to mistake a coffee maker for a soda dispenser.
Huh? Um, well...
Well?
Well, they kind of look the same...
Did you do it on purpose?
N-no... I-
Did you do it on purpose?
I did it on purpose. I'm sorry!
He's lecturing her over that?
Sensei's immune to clumsiness also?
Have a seat right over there, Arashiyama.
Y-yes sir...
Why would you do something so senseless? I don't understand it at all.
Your behavior is simply irrational.
Yes sir...
And besides, do you realize what a maid's job really is?
In what universe does a maid take pleasure in pulling pranks on her customers?
Yes...
None sir...
He's completely forgotten about not getting permission, hasn't he?
The moment he began lecturing her was when Arashiyama-san became victorious!
That reminds me, Sanada-kun's awful late today...
Why is my homeroom teacher here?
This isn't funny.
Our café for two,
my Fortune Café... has changed.
You're always like this!
Do you not realize that stuff like 1=0 makes absolutely no sense?!
Absurd! You're completely nonsensical!
Men desperately seek happiness, but happiness does not come looking for them.
For seldom does happiness visit men of its own volition.
Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.  田
Fortune Café.
Though its facilities may be minimal, it's a place where the customer's every wish is granted.
Even the most grand and luxurious of cafés are nothing but empty shacks if they do not provide what the customer seeks.
Black tea, please.
Sorry for the wait.
What in the world is going on?
Welcome home, Master.
Isn't it awful, Master? That we could be your maids...
Once you open that door, you can never escape...
What the?!
Please, come in. All the way in...
Welcome... to your Fortune Café.
My boss is such a dirtbag.
I thought I would ruin him by getting him charged with sexual harassment.
Isn't that a bit overkill?
But the jerk never takes the bait I lay for him!
Finally, I just flipped up my skirt I was wearing right in his face, and showed him my lingerie!
You're pretty outrageous.
But he got me charged for sexually harassing him instead.
You screwed yourself over?!
Next time: The Sexual Harrassment Lawsuit
Today's not over yet.
A rainbow-colored dusk surrounds us,
and the breeze is nice and cool.
It's a party every Saturday night.
Even a dark feeling,
becomes immediately clear
Everyone's happy.
Let's be happy.
So let's go downtown!
So let's go downtown!
So let's go downtown!
So let's go downtown!
So let's go downtown!
So let's go downtown!
So let's go downtown!
So let's go downtown!
So let's go downtown!
Let's be happy.
Let's be happy.
Let's be happy.
Let's be happy.
One, two, one, two, three, four!
Living for rock!
Living lonely, blasting my music.
With chubby, blowfish cheeks,
chaos follows me throughout the city.
Being Tsundere is a sign of intelligence,
and I still have yet to tell him how I feel.
Putting our lives in the hands of a tornado,
we train our legs by playing drums.
Despite what we do, it's all for fun.
With these folks, it's hardly rock.
We aren't trying to start a folk dance here,
and we aren't trying to reach nirvana.
We're the Maids!
We come on stage in our maid outfits.
The Maids have taken over!
We show up at the scene of every crime.
We are the invincible Maids!
If you're constipated, you'll be in pain giving birth.
We're pure, proper, and respectful!
The little one's working inside,
making a profit!
 田 Thank you very maid for coming!