alias quitmsg {
  set %quit.temp $rand(0,9)
  if (%quit.temp == 0) return Read error: The operation completed sucessfully
  if (%quit.temp == 1) return Read error: Connection reset by pier
  if (%quit.temp == 2) return )1 <- There is NO quit message! (just kidding
  if (%quit.temp == 3) {
        if (($network == MoeNet-IRC) || ($network == AntiPornNet) || ($network == irc.tl) || ($network == Beige-Box)) return User has been permanently banned from $network (QUIIIIIIIIIIT)
    elseif (($network == QuakeNet)) return G-lined
    elseif (($network == EFnet)) return Connection closed
    else return K-Lined
  }
  if (%quit.temp == 4) return mIRC has encountered a problem and needs to close. We are sorry about the inconvenience.
  if (%quit.temp == 5) return mIRC has stopped working. Windows is searching for a solution...
  if (%quit.temp == 6) return The application mIRC has exited unexpectedly. Mac OS X and other applications are not affected.
  if (%quit.temp == 7) return MIRC: This applicaion has executed an illegal operation and must close.
  if (%quit.temp == 8) return Segmentation fault
  if (%quit.temp == 9) return The Original "Leaving"(tm)
  unset %quit.temp
}