Whenever I invade any other low elo players, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of my high elo to the players as a species. To this end, I invade red side jungle. Taking two buffs between my perfectly timed soraka q's, I apply pressure, blowing lee sin's flash until he cracks and splinters. He is the “loser,” and I gank the inferior bot lane immediately. The winner gets to get 1v1'ed by my red buff soraka. I have found that, in general, the blue and red buffs always  belong to me since i get 10 dark seal stacks, and the other team is genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the enemy team as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern league of legends world. Occasionally I will get a feeder, a player that is straight up bad at every part of the game. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the player continues to adapt to its environment. When I reach the end of the game, I am left with 25 mejais stacks, the strongest of the items. Since it would make no sense to end the game as i am carrying, I plays.tv a link and send it to the discord chat of my accomplishments., along with a 3×5 card reading, “I solo killed Dnka with Taric.” This week they wrote back to go fuck myself, and got me fucking banned from the server. I consider this “ezmoney.” I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one. Soraka

HEllo discord chat. This is Allen’s girlfriend speaking. Please stop the spam in the chat. I can’t read the amazing conversations that you are having about my boyfriend as we are too busy having sex. Thanks. Don’t copy and paste this to spam more or I will tell Allen to ban you all.

Whenever I get a package of plain Discord Members, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the players as a species. To this end, I hold Faction duels. Taking two Factions  between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the “loser,” and I flame the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the Faction 2 and Faction 3 M&Ms are tougher, and the newer green ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the Faction 4 M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world. Occasionally I will get a mutation, a Faction that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the Faction extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment. When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one Faction, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to AllenTheBoots, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3×5 card reading, “Please use this Faction for breeding purposes.” This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain silver mid mains. I consider this “grant money.” I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one.

Hey Faggots, My name is OneHardHoof, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at League of Legends Copypastas. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it’s fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than anyone who jungles for me you fucking feeders. Don’t be a bronzie. Just hit me with your best shot. I’m pretty much perfect. I was plat last season and the starting mid laner for faction 2. What champs do you play, other than “feed your ass off to my middlesticks”? I also get 1500 damage per minute, and have juerguista (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Did you ever hear the tragedy of OneHardHoof the mid laner? I thought not. It’s not a story the mods would tell you. It’s a faction 4 legend. OneHardHoof the midlaner was a middlesticks player, so powerful and so wise he could use his roams to influence the bot lane to stop feeding… He had such a knowledge of the mid lane that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The mid laner for faction 4 is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his nobody everything he knew, then he just left because everyone else was trash. Ironic. He could save others from tilting, but not himself.

Vaughn Hommerding is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking in the student athletes discord voice channel. We exchange a few pleasantries. He asks what I do. I say I loved his Draven play. He laughs. I get my drink.
"Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Vaughn Hommerding? She touches her neck as she watches me leave.
Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of diamond players in faction 2 grows increasingly loose, he finds me on the in the music channel, in champ select, my role selected as jungle.
"Duo queue?" she asks.
"What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles.
"Freelo, duh."
I laugh.
"What's so funny?" He protests.
"Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the feeders?"
"You get used to it," he says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter.
"What would you do if you weren't a mod?" I ask.
"Teaching, I think."
"And if I was your student, what would I be learning?"
"Discipline," he says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?"
"Bermuda," I say.
"Oh wow. That's lovely."
"It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking."
"What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" he inquires.
"I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."

Juerguista is quickly becoming one of my favorite players. He's just so positive and generous. Practically costs nothing at all at Teemo and Galio, you drop him in the faction and that chill ass motherfucker gives you a draft to use later in the game. And you also get this adorable little student athlete that can ping things but usually is too harmless to be taken seriously.
But more than that Juerguista is just so positive. It comes on the board like "do you want to be a student athlete?" and I'm like "yeahJuerguista i do want to be a student athlete let's do this shit" and when he attacks he's like "TEEMO IS FUN" and I'm like "yeah he is SO FUN." He doesn't say some bullshit macho shit like "I will destroy you" he's just like "nah teemo is fun fun." And he looks so happy. I mean this is a student athlete literally brought to life by being a warlord. It understands it's life is a temporary gift and the dude is just fucking loving it. I mean look at his face he's just so happy.
I am literally never sad when babbling book is on board. IDK if he's gonna make it into the metagame or not but for now he (or she) a pretty chill card

For being the ~~best~~ worst player in the server, you're pretty ~~im~~ mature. I think it's dumb you didn't even shake my hand after I beat you with amumu or even opt to take a picture of the stats screen for the results thread.
Maybe I'm just bitter that you single-handedly invaded me and used your popularity to bring in high elo players. It's weird that people on discord still message me saying, "Holy shit our faction is filled with only silvers these teams are so unbalanced".
Now you've got the community in an even greater hold with your cult-esque fervor we call "student athletes". You're the only person who can literally ride his own dick and people encourage you even more when you do it. If I was to even say a tenth of the self-promoting claims you make online, I'd have a brigade of hate lined up on top of the massive amount I already do.
I don't have to go into how you treated me when I was always nice to you and invited you to every game even after all the degrading and disgusting stuff you did and said about mrbaconator1588 calling names dumb. You think I don't remember? Not to mention saying similar things about redzhun. I really wanted to sock you in the fucking face so many times.
But I wouldn't stoop to that level.
The reality is, and the worst part is, that I have too much respect for you as a player. You've taken my favorite game and past-time to new levels and you constantly awe me with your advancing of the Soraka meta-game. It keeps me on my feet and encourages me and countless others to keep playing. Everyone knows that, and no one can take that away from you.
I have applauded your victories at EVERY faction week we've played in. Every last once. I've shaken your hand and applauded you even after our sets. Even after Season 2, when you taunted me Season 3 as you were approaching a complete shutout on me. Even on stream with the world watching. I took the approach of the bigger man, in hopes that maybe it would inspire you to do the same. And I was very wrong.
The thing is, now that the entire NA League Territories community knows of you, you have all the leverage you need to get your points across. You're the end-all for knowledge of the game and community.
You've gotten better about your attitude towards me, at least subtly. With Ask Katarina retired and with our tournament records in full display, I'm ranked #4 or #4 in the world behind you. Even still, you make it seem like I'm a joke for ever playing this game.
All I'd like is for you to just stop this nonsense and have at least an ounce of sportsmanship towards me. It's the least you could do after some of the things you've put me through that I won't mention. And don't just label off your actions as jokes. Yeah, you're a funny guy. But it's not nice being on the end of the stick for four years.
Man up and be the representative this community actually needs.

I'll start this with Dnka owes me nothing. He doesn't owe any of us anything. He's a professional gamer/twitch streamer. With that being said I got into competitive League of Legends after watching the documentary. Afterwards I watched all the top players videos. Dnka, Juerguista, Of Draven, Khristmas, Dayos, Larz, OneHardHoof  ALL OF THEM. After watching countless videos of all the top players I continued to be drawn more and more to Dnka's. I loved his play style, I loved his high risk high reward tactics. His unorthodox follow ups. I loved how he played. From there I started following the big tournaments. The first Super Major I watched was Faction 1 vs Faction 2 Season 2 and that was unfortunate as a Dnka fan. He ended the year at 2nd with a lackluster finish and I began to wonder if I started following Dnka too late. Then season 3 comes and he has many stellar performances and it seemed to reassure his fans that he still has it. Then his last 5-6 games have been infuriating as a dnka. It started at Season 2 where he stubbornly went Fizz vs Juerguista and got destroyed followed by a stubborn 3-0 vs BuddyB33. Then he went to Season 3 and same thing. He stubbornly lost to Khristmas in losers after he was up. Then came week 3 where dnka clearly was drunk vs Baconator. You could see his eyes were glossy in the player cam. He took 17th. Following this he got a coach and seemed to be on the right track. Started drinking less, practicing more, and he had another great performance at Season 3. Well his dedication to practicing and not drinking lasted all of 1 tournament. Entering Season 3 he was wasted nearly all day the first 2 days and surprise surprise he loses extremely early Day 3 and then again Day 4 and takes 9th. Now I'm watching FPS and I hear the commentators say "We're looking for dnka. Of Draven is texting him. I guess we're going to put another set on until we finddnka. I hope he hasn't left." I see his twitter and he tweeted "BeeeEEEErrRRRRR". Like I said at the beginning, dnka owes me nothing. If he wants to get wasted at every tournament and not reach his competitive heights ever again that's fine. He's allowed to do that. But when I watch his stream and he constantly says things like "don't worry guys, I'll be back. I was just stubborn" "I had a bad song come on that's why I lost to insert player" I hear him say those things and I get a sliver of hope. Then I watch him and he's drunk and doesn't seem to care and loses and I get a huge sense of let down and disappointment. Either he should stop saying he'll be back and that he'll be back on top or he should take the game seriously. I don't see Juerguista and Yensin getting drunk and sandbagging at tournaments. Granted I don't think he or any top player is required or should take every tournament extremely serious but he's now either player drunk, extremely stubbornly, or both at his last 4-5 tournaments, excluding Season 1. I'm just a dumb melee fan who loves watching dnka play has become extremely disappointed with how he carries himself.

Juerguista is a straight up jerk; I get the chance to play him in factions like twice a week and he invades. So BM

I am very mad. I played a faction game for 1 minute, get invaded by Juerguista and his diamond buddies, and lost against this retarded ass morgana. Invade, use snares, bring in high elo players, and wouldn't stop cheesing us I really cannot think straight right now.  I offered to bring in new diamond players to our faction for $20. Nope. I thought I would have been first place in league territories if I knew how to fucking cs. But they didn't even give me the lane to do it. Bullshit, just straight up bullshit. Probably will never go to a discord server that high elo players enter ever again. This definitely ruined my day.

i think its hilarious u kids talking shit about redzhun. u wouldnt say this shit to him at lan, hes jacked. not only that but he wears the freshest clothes, eats at the chillest restaurants and hangs out with the hottest dudes. yall are pathetic lol

Faction 4 isn't so great? Are you kidding me? When was the last time you saw a faction with such an ability and movement in league of legends? Faction 4 puts the game in another level, and we will be blessed if we ever see a faction with their skill and passion for the game again. Faction 3 breaks records. Faction 2 breaks records. Faction 4 breaks the rules. You can keep your statistics. I prefer the magic.