Jorou-Gumo Mahjong: Prologue

		Prologue, A Young Man of Inadequate Fortune


Jirou made sure his cap was down low, covering his eyes, and that his coat collar was held up as high as it went. It’s not that his identity was something worth hiding; it’s just that this was the kind of neighbourhood where you did that. Or so he assumed, it looked run down so it was probably full of thugs. There could be Oni waiting in the shadows for when he withdrew some cash. He had to, though. So he did. His last 2200 yen. Good grief.
He stuffed the bills in his wallet and turned on his heels, rushing back towards the diner. $20 worth of money, that’s all he had to make a comeback. Comparing it to what he had already lost, haha, aah that made his knees wobbly. Pokerface time, pokerface!
The three men were still right where he’d left them, drinking coffee and eating waffles. They’d ordered while he was out? Did that mean…
“You didn’t use MY money to do that did you?” Jirou asked, dropping his hat on the table and putting his coat down on the seat so his new jeans wouldn’t have to touch the dirt and grime.
“Oh not to worry, we got you your share” Scarface said, gesturing towards a glass of water on the table.
“More your price class, eh? Don’t forget to tip! 10% of nothing comes up around, oh, nothing!”
This jab caused Scarface and Baldie to chuckle, but there was no such reaction from Greymane. He shook a finger, indicating Scarface had been wrong.
“All four of us made an order, so it only stands to reason he shares a fourth of the responsibility” he pointed out.
“True, true! So what’s it gonna be Zero, you gonna pay up or you gonna stay here to wash dishes?” Scarface insisted.
Jirou didn’t like the way they played with his name. It was all too easy to make that pun. These people weren’t too fond of proper names.
“I’ll pay my share in time. For now I’m going to get back the money you took from me” he said firmly.
“Oh, he thinks that, does he?” Scarface mocked him, rubbing his chin. “We’re quaking in our boots, aren’t we?” he nudged Baldie who elicited a grunt that was close enough to a chuckle. He didn’t feel as merry as his friend did, despite it all.
“May I make a suggestion before we continue?” Greymane asked, and his two companions went silent. He was the one in charge here. Jirou nodded, he could hear the man out at least, even if he didn’t intend to agree to any unfavourable terms.
“My idea is this: we start the next session with a clean slate, all points are even. The one who comes in last at the end of the session pays for the order in full, tip included” he said. “Going forward, the three of us will have a pool of a thousand dollars against… how much did you have?”
“20$”
“Against your 20$. We’ll just look at a certain percentage of the winnings based on how many points we end up with then. Are we agreed?”
Baldie nodded silently, too many times. Scarface agreed happily, winking at Jirou.
“No hard feelings, eh Zero?”
Again with that.
“I don’t see why not. It won’t be me anyway” Jirou said. “Let’s get to it then!” he grabbed the dice off the table before the others had time to clear the food away and rolled.

			***

It was South 3rd round. Greymane was in 1st place, followed my Scarface, both at around 30,000+ points. Jirou and Baldie were tied at 18,300. All things considered things had gone rather well since despite playing against three people Jirou had managed to avoid a drastic difference in points. As long as he didn’t finish in last place he’d at least avoid having to do the dishes here for someone else’s meal. He’d drained his glass of water already.
Jirou looked at his hand. He had a pair of his own seat wind, west, and from the looks of it his hand was biased towards sequences. No dora in sight, that being a 4-sou, and he had nothing around it anyway. That was fine. He’d start by discarding his double of the 1-man.
“Chii!”
Baldie called on it immediately. Was calling on a 1-2-3 man sequence on your first turn really such a smart move? Jirou had a feeling Baldie was only kept around to fill out the roster rather than because he was a competent rep-player. In his mind’s eye he already saw himself as this chubby, hairless ape’s replacement. Ever since he’d been in high school Jirou had felt confident in his ability to scrounge up some extra spending money with a little gambling. Finding this lot during his freshman year at college had been a real stroke of good luck. He may not have had as much luck playing against them, but again, it was three against one.
Scarface discarded the West and Jirou called pon on it without a heartbeat passing. A triplet of his own seat wind this early in the round ought to put some pressure on the others. Not that Greymane ever felt any kind of pressure. There hadn’t been enough discards for Jirou to figure out at all what hands anyone else might be building up to, so he discarded the 1-pin. He had a feeling pin wasn’t a suit that would favour him this round, what with the others most likely holding on to the dora as best they could.
Klik, klik, klik went the tiles on the diner’s table. Jirou tried not to meet Greymane’s or Scarface’s eyes too often; they had an unsettling effect on him. These three were a motley crew alright! Greymane was in his 60’s, always wore a cheap suit with faded colours, no tie, his shirt open in a way that was reminiscent of the 1980’s. He never passed up a chance to smile at women of any species, and in Jirou’s experience even the human women seemed to appreciate his attentions. The man might’ve been seeped in the demonic stuff for all he knew.
Scarface was probably a college or maybe even a high school drop-out only a few years older than Jirou himself, but whatever bad business he’d gotten involved in had given him quite a few mementos to carry around.
Baldie, as has already been noted, was fat, bald and stupid. He was probably related to someone important for the other two to bother keeping him around. Stupid or not, though, he and the other two had just this same day managed to make 1,500$ worth of Jirou’s money disappear, and it might end up being 1520$ before the game was through. They’d finished East 4th round with Jirou in third place, leading to him losing 7$ worth of his remaining money. If he finished last now, it would all be gone and he’d have nothing to work with. It had been a stupid idea to take the last of his money out and come play again, he thought to himself as the rounds passed and his hand didn’t near completion fast enough. What’s more he drew another 1-pin! If he’d kept the first one, he would’ve had a pair and… well, to hell with it. He discarded it and thought about where he’d go for food if he lost all his money. Suppose he made a rota out of relatives and friends and mooched off of one every couple days and picked some bottles or something…
“Riichi!” declared Scarface, grinning, showing a few gaps in his rows of crooked teeth. Jirou swallowed. That was no good at all. It was still too early! He couldn’t safely… But then neither could the other two. If Baldie lost his points to a strong hand here he might end up in last place, and that wouldn’t do at all. Greymane had never dealt into someone else’s hand as long as Jirou had seen him play though. He was really something else. Scarface was good too, and Jirou just knew he himself would work better with the two of them than Baldie would. That was the whole reason he’d challenged the three of them in the first place! Six months of stalking around the haunts of college kids he’d noticed them, figured out they were working together, figured out they were part of something bigger. He knew they weren’t just a three-man operation swindling college kids out of pocket change; these guys did that for practice more than for serious money. He was sure of it. This could be his IN into the big cash, the tax-free world where a man could earn his keep and keep what he earned! And all he needed to do was impress them! But three against one, how was he going to do that?
Lady luck smiled on Jirou and he drew the last West, calling kan immediately. The new dora was none other than 2-man, meaning he and Baldie both had at least 1 dora now. What’s more his new draws left him only two tiles from tenpai! He could do it. His hand was on its way to bringing him, if not out of third place, at least widening the gap between him and Baldie and narrowing the gap between him and the other two. The flow was with him!
Greymane discarded a 2-pin and declared riichi. The game had turned into a minefield! Any tile Jirou drew could be the one that the two needed to win. Any tile THEY drew could be the one they needed to win. But if he could keep it together and crawl through that minefield, the two of them would lose a thousand points no matter what kind of victory he pulled out! Had they made a mistake in their thinking when they declared riichi so quickly, or were they confident? If he dealt in his fate was practically sealed going into the next round. When that round eventually came into being, the most important thing had almost slipped his mind! Greymane was the dealer, and if he won then they’d go into a honba, making the game last even longer and leading to more chances for the trio to work against him. Jirou hoped he’d had more water to drink right about now but the very idea of asking for more reeked to him of weakness, and weakness was something he couldn’t afford! Not in his mind, most definitely, but also not in the sight of his enemies. This was the big one right here! If he completed this hand, he’d have something in the order of… he tallied up the points for both a ron and a tsumo and decided his chances of reaching second place were not entirely non-existent, and in an ideal world his winning tile would come from Greymane. What were the chances of that happening? The man was some kind of savant when it came to avoiding dealing in, he couldn’t rely on that. But as long as Greymane didn’t win his dealership would be drawn to a close and there would be no honba. So for now… Jirou discarded the chun he drew.
“Pon!” cried Baldie. So now he had a triplet of a dragon tile. Two open sets, one from his first turn, and looking at his discards Baldie didn’t look like his hand was… well, anything. He discarded a 9-sou and Jirou bit his lip, looking away from it. He’d discarded one previously, and if he hadn’t he’d have gotten a triplet. But that’s not the kind of hand he was building, no harm done, right? As long as the 7-sou eventually showed up…
Scarface dealt another 9-sou, it now being obviously a safe tile. Jirou wondered if it was necessary to change his waits here to ensure he didn’t deal into anyone’s hand. He had no idea how many of his tiles might be in the absolute danger zone, and his 7-8-9 sou sequence was still incomplete, so breaking it up wouldn’t…
Greymane dealt his own seat wind, South. There wasn’t even a hint of emotion on his face, but… Jirou faced his basilisk’s gaze and noticed a slight twitch, his eyeballs had turned toward the 9-sou for some reason. No… could it be that…
Of course. Baldie was stupid so he’d dealt a tile he shouldn’t have. Greymane’s wait had been on that tile, but he couldn’t win off of his ally when he suspected the tile was also in Jirou’s hand. Scarface had dealt it so he could lure Jirou into a false sense of security. They had to have communicated this information to one another somehow, or maybe Scarface was actually that intuitive that he could figure the situation out as easy as all that?
This was dangerous, more dangerous than he had thought. But he’d seen through it! Jirou had seen through it and he would not be deterred, not now. He’d keep the original shape of his wait and trust in the wheel of fortune bringing him to the top eventually. Fortune favours the bold!
As if to mock this sentiment his next draw was the original dora, the 4-pin. There was nothing in his hand built around that tile, no possible use for it, and yet here it was now, and to use it was to elevate his hand higher than he had thought possible so far. The thing about it was that to implement it he would need to break up his waits and trust blindly that something impossible would come his way, either another 4-pin or the tiles around it. There was just no way that kind of thing could happen, no way he’d have enough time to complete such a hand when looking at his opponents. But the 4-pin was an immensely dangerous tile to play as well! How could he allow the tile to leave his hand when it most definitely wasn’t safe and could result in a direct hit from either of his more serious opponents? And that was even without taking into account the fact that it was the dora. It was like he was defusing a bomb without knowing which wire to cut! This one tile marked the difference between his victory and defeat. No other tile could be as dangerous, no other tile could carry the same kind of threat and meaning as it did, it was the absolute worst tile he could have drawn!
So he naturally dealt it. Fortune favours the bold!
“Pon!” cried Baldie, and so he had his third open set, a triplet of the dora, with the fourth dora from Jirou’s kan being in plain sight there as well. Jirou couldn’t believe his eyes. What’s more, Scarface burst out in a rude, obnoxious laughter that made heads all over the diner turn at them in disapproval. Greymane shook his head.
“Even I didn’t see that one coming, I have to admit” he said.
The prevailing emotion in Jirou’s heart was, however, relief. The tile had not passed freely, but it had passed in the sense that it hadn’t sunk him. Not only that, but this meant that either Scarface or Greymane DIDN’T have a 4-pin, and looking at the honour tiles discarded he could tell neither of them had their seat winds or any honour tiles period. Their hands were in all likelihood cheaper than what he and Baldie had, and that was likely the price to pay for such an early riichi! What’s more surprising waits like all pairs, chinroutou or single-suit waits were completely impossible. In fact, without the riichi, he was fairly certain that the hand the two of them had cobbled together wouldn’t even have any yaku!
Beads of sweat had formed on Jirou’s forehead, his hands were clammy, his heart was racing and his mouth was uncomfortably dry. He lifted his head away from the game and gestured to the waitress, asking for an iced tea. She brought it and he thanked her very politely, drinking calmly and deeply, letting out an immensely satisfied sigh as he stopped. No longer did this appear was weakness, but as control. HE was dominant now, and he was fairly certain the other players knew it. Well, maybe Baldie didn’t know it, but the ones who mattered did. He was going to win this round in all likelihood, and that’s all there was to it.
“It’s easy to smile when you’re a winner, wouldn’t you agree Al?” he said to Scarface.
“Al?”
“Al Pacino. You know, Scarface?”
“What?”
Jirou shook his head, and to his delight notices Greymane doing the same. He tipped his glass to acknowledge a man of taste and then proceeded to take another sip.
Scarface, believing he was being messed around with, told him to get on with it and keep playing.
“Fine, fine” Jirou said, drawing the 7-sou and discarding his last useless tile, reaching tenpai on a single wait on an 8-man. Greymane could no longer win, his wait had to be on that single 9-sou and that was no longer possible to either draw or call. Scarface was the only threat he saw, and he seemed to be waiting for a higher pin tile. Baldie had not managed to crawl his way into tenpai, had he?
Baldie discarded a 9-man. Close, close but not quite there yet. Looking at Baldie’s pond he saw that tiles around it had been previously discarded. The fool had ruined his own chances at victory.
Scarface immediately dealt what he’d drawn, not even bothering to look at it for more than the fraction of a second. 1-sou. A worthless tile!
Greymane drew. He looked at what he’d drawn. His eyebrows were raised, as if he was surprised. He shrugged. He discarded.
“Ron…” Jirou blurted out, he couldn’t believe it. The genius had fallen! The man who never dealt in had done just that! He couldn’t even laugh about the fact that he’d just taken 11,000 points from the most dangerous opponent in this game. Going into the 4th round he now had 29,000 points, putting him in at second place next to Scarface who had less than a thousand points lead over him. At this rate he’d… if he stayed in second place he’d end up taking home less than the original 1,500$ he’d had when he came to this gamble, he’d get an even thousand. And if he came in first place, he’d walk away with a full 2,000$! The one in 3rd place would end up netting nothing and the one in 4th place would end up owing for the meal. All things considered it seemed like a ridiculous system. Why would such a system even be put into place? What exactly was the benefit to the three of them risking their winnings against the measly 20$ he’d brought back with him? There was no personal grudge there, as far as he knew. So what were they trying to accomplish here? Unless it was just a test to see if he had what it took. Greymane and Scarface were looking for someone to replace the useless, detrimental Baldie. That’s why he was being given this chance! They’d estimated Baldie would end up in 4th place, and as he’d stay behind in the diner to handle their bills with no money he’d be symbolically cut off. The real contest here wasn’t about first or second place, about winning all that money, it was to see if Jirou could show he was good enough to stand together with the two masters. The reason that coming in 3rd didn’t offer any money was to keep the two of them entertained, so long as there was a risk involved the gamble was fun. That’s the kind of men they were, and that’s the kind of man Jirou wanted to be!
Or, if you thought about it another way, this battle was essentially a duel between him and Baldie to see who would stand among the champions. Simply coming in at 3rd place would ensure a place in the winning team, but to aim for just 3rd place was small, too small. That was the difference between Jirou and Baldie! A man of a higher calibre simply aimed higher.

South 4th round began. Jirou was now the North seat, and so he had three turns to gauge what his opponents might’ve been building up to before he had to decide what to cut. The dora was a hatsu, and sadly he didn’t start off with one, having instead a pair of the dora-indicator, haku. Now what did he have to work with? He had both the East and the South winds. He didn’t want either. He had the workings of a few pin sequences, two of the 2-sou and a 4 and a 7-man. It wasn’t a strong starting had, not at all. He’d end up with a mess off sequences and triplets with no dora at this rate, but fine, you couldn’t rely on lucky starting hands all the time. Moreover as dealer he had a chance to extend the game if he won, so getting a cheap hand was really all he needed. The difference between him and 1st place was only 700 points! A single yaku could get him to that.
“So just out of curiosity, who do you guys work for?” Jirou asked, his voice light and chipper. He wanted to continue exuding the aura of a victor, of the alpha male.
“The hell is it to you, punk?” Baldie snapped at him. He was feeling the pressure; Jirou’s guesses had been right on the money it seemed.
“I’m just being curious, friendo” Jirou replied happily, taking another sip of his ice tea. He might order something else too, just to fan the fires. Hey, that seemed like a nice idea. He gestured over to the waitress and ordered a large orange juice and some blueberry pie, his favourite. There was no harm in it, since the one who would have to deal with the bill was the loser, and the loser would be Baldie and no other!
“Well, I suppose I could go for some toast…” Scarface said, discarding a chun nonchalantly.
“Hmm-hmm-hmm…” hummed Greymane, amused at the game that was being played outside the tiles. His seat was South, and so was the prevailing wind. If Jirou dealt the South wind, it might end up being worth 2 yaku for this beast he had just felled in the previous round.
“As long as we’re still gorging ourselves, I suppose a strawberry sundae would go to cool off in this hot wind, hmm-hmm-hmm…”
Jirou was smiling so that all of his teeth were showing. The three of them had reached some kind of connection. Baldie alone didn’t place an order, and the fact that he didn’t increase the bill that the loser would have to pay merely went to show he had already accepted defeat in his heart. He was nothing more than a dead weight, now it was a three-way game. To think it had taken so long for Jirou to understand this! But now that he was through the looking-glass, there was no way to change it anymore, now all that remained was to show his new companions what kind of man he was. Was he a third-rate gambler, fit only to replace Baldie but nothing more, or was he on equal footing with his seniors?
He wasted no time in digging into his pie. He discarded a safe tile, East wind, one already discarded by no other than the East seat Baldie himself! What a riot! What a different game he was now playing! It’s like all the money he’d “lost” had already made its way back into his pockets! And even if it didn’t, he’d be on the fast track to success! Oh yes, this was quite the rush. There was no pressure, no fear, nothing holding him back. He saw the strengths and weaknesses of his hand and he knew how to complete it. Finishing in 1st place was well within his ability, and so long as he kept his wits about him he would keep 2nd place at least. With the change that had occurred, if Baldie dealt the winning tile of either Greymane or Scarface they’d take their win there, unlike last round. That was right, wasn’t it? They no longer had any need to show loyalty to that loser! Jirou’s emotions welled up, he thought about the idea of having enough money to just go to a fancy brothel and letting a Kejorou wrap him in her hair, or maybe getting a Nureonago massage… he’d never been able to afford getting pampered like that, but as a rep-player he could get it! His heart’s desire was well within his reach!
He finished his ice tea and took a sip of the orange juice. Greymane seemed to enjoy his sundae with great passion and Scarface’s cheeks bulged with toast. The only one who wasn’t having a good time was Baldie, who was hunched over his tiles whose lips moved as if he were chanting a wordless mantra of some kind.
Then Scarface dealt a 5-pin.
“PON!” shouted Baldie, and once more disapproving glares from all over the diner drilled into them.
Jirou shook his head and wagged his finger at the man.
“Sorry but that’s not going to fly with me, mister” he said. “Chii!”
Jirou head-bumped the tile, achieving a number of goals at once. Not only did he now have at least one complete set as far as anyone knew, but he had revealed that Baldie was in possession of two 5-pins, making this a tile that would be less likely to come out from the other players now. And not just that, but the humiliation of this minor defeat, this having something precious stolen from right under your nose, why, Baldie must’ve been feeling even more miserable than ever before!
“Good call there, Zero” Scarface nodded, gathering up toast-crumbs from his plate with his finger and eating them.
“Must you call me that? We all know I’m not the zero here…”
Baldie stood up, hitting the table with both of his fists. His eyes were squinting, his brow furrowed and his face red. He was a portrait of an angry man, seething with impotent rage.
“I can do it. I’ve done it before. I won’t lose” he said, from between gritted teeth.
“Then why not do it instead of just talking about it?” Greymane asked, waving his spoon around. As he did so he slipped out a 2-man. Jirou smiled. He now had another safe tile in his hand.
“You can’t cut me out. I know things” Baldie kept talking, and both Scarface and Greymane looked rather serious all of a sudden.
“That’s right. You think I don’t know what happens to the players you take the boss? You think I’m that stupid? Well I know! And I… I can prove it too!”
Baldie was talking in a much lower tone of voice now so as not to attract undue attention. Jirou was utterly confused as to what was happening.
“What exactly are you trying to say?” Greymane asked, leaning back in his chair.
“We change the rules. Just a little! I’m not asking for money here” Baldie babbled and sat down, now relieved that he was being listened to.
“All I’m saying here is that there’s no need to make this kid an insider even if he gets lucky today” he said. “It’s true that he’s doing well, but everybody has good days and bad days, and sometimes you win and sometimes you lose, it happens to everyone, you know? Like… like today, you dealt into his hand! It was YOU who gave him that victory, not me! I didn’t do it!”
“And who was it that dealt the 9-sou before that? If you paid any attention to the signals you wouldn’t have done such a thing and we’d be playing my dealer honba right now” Greymane said, his words matter-of-fact and without much emotion. Scarface was merely scowling at Baldie now, his arms crossed. He wasn’t going to interrupt with anything funny now.
“Well even then, as I said, the way it is, everyone makes mistakes and loses sometimes…” Baldie tried to defend himself.
“And as it happens you’ve been mostly losing recently. Not just today either. How is it that you just so happen to have bad days so often? A third man is an important thing to have, and yet you’re more like a ball-and-chain around our ankles. Replacing you is only a prudent action, don’t you think? And yet we’ve given you this chance, against some college-kid, to show that you’re not completely worthless. So far I’m not impressed”
Baldie wiped the sweat on his head away and stared at the table.
“Well, yes. Maybe. But even if that’s…”
“Not it, not maybe, no buts either. It is what it is, and you have until the end of this round to show what you’re made of, or we part ways today” Greymane concluded.
“I refuse”
“You refuse? You mean you’re giving up? If you quit now, you’ll still be in 4th place and nothing will change for your part”
“That is why I’m saying we change the rules!”
Greymane sighed.
“And how do you propose we change the rules?”
“No matter how the game ends, the kid pays for the order and can’t join us!”
There was silence. Jirou couldn’t believe his ears. Was this guy being serious?
“That’s quite the demand. You’re essentially asking for us to ignore the outcome of this game”
“I am!”
“And the money?”
“We split it three ways, evenly!”
Jirou gasped. This guy was actually serious!
“And if we refuse such outrageous terms?”
“Then the police will know! They’ll know about the special games! I’ll tell them everything!”
Greymane’s eyes flashed fellow. It was only for a fraction of a second, but it was there, Jirou was sure he’d seen it. The man WAS an incubus after all!
“And what exactly is it that you will tell them?” he asked.
“I’ll tell them about the guys who disappeared. And the rumours about the money. They say the boss offers tens of millions to those who agree to play…” Baldie’s words seemed uncertain. Was he just repeating unsubstantiated rumours here? But tens of millions… what kind of games were these? Jirou was sure he’d heard right. Tens of millions… games… disappeared people?
“And you said you can prove this?” Greymane asked.
“I…”
“You can’t, can you? You don’t, in fact, know anything of the sort, do you? You’re desperate and trying to bluff, isn’t that right? It would, after all, be rather dangerous to know such things, wouldn’t you say?”
Baldie seemed to realize he was on thin ice, but he didn’t stop.
“I can prove it. I can. You’ll be sorry if you don’t do what I tell you to!”
Greymane nodded.
“Alright then. Scar?”
Scarface perked up.
“Yeah?”
“Gather up the tiles, we’re done here”
“Right…”
Jirou darted up.
“Wait just a goddamn minute here! You can’t just stop!”
Greymane looked at him with a bored look on his face.
“I can’t afford to take chances like this, Zero. You lucked out. But at least you still have enough money to… no, wait. You don’t. Not with these last orders we made, guess you don’t, huh. Well, tough luck kid. You kinda shot yourself in the leg with that one”
Jirou was shaking with anger. They were really just… just going to…
Scarface gathered up their tiles and put everything away. The three of them split the cash evenly, with Baldie laughing and grinning as he counted his cut.
“There, see that! You’re just not good enough, shithead!” he said, his face uncomfortably close to Jirou’s. Only barely did he manage to resist he urge to hit that ugly mug.

The three left, leaving Jirou with a bill he couldn’t pay. His remaining $13 went towards it, and for the rest he washed dishes well into the evening. His hands were not accustomed to soaking in hot water for hours and he was rather upset about everything that had occurred. He had no money to pay any bills or buy any food, the worst case scenario had occurred, and right after he’d been at the top of the world, too. He could’ve won that game, he could’ve…
Jirou leaned against the wall of the diner, staring up at sky, which was still blue but the sun was getting low. He didn’t want to be stranded in a neighbourhood like this without even the money for a bus fare, but here he was. Thinking about, had any other outcome even been possible? The three crooks had been playing against him from the beginning. The whole “disagreement” bit had been just a ruse, hadn’t it? All that nonsense about blackmail and the “special games” for tens of millions, none of that had been real, it had just been done to disrupt the game and force it to a close before he could win back the money he deserved. Otherwise Greymane would’ve been left in third place and without a cut, and you couldn’t have that, could you? Hah!
While he was busy cursing his luck and trying to think which way he’d need to walk to get home Jirou noticed a car slowing down as it went past him. Oh god please don’t let it be Onis…
It was worse. Scarface got out of the car.
“Hey” he said, digging a pack of cigarettes and a lighter out of his pockets. “You want one?”
“Sure…” Jirou said, not seeing any harm in it.
They smoked in silence for a bit. Jirou doubted he could take Scarface in a fight so maybe it was better if he didn’t try to bash his face in.
“So, uhh, though luck, huh?”
“Fuck you”
“Hey no need to get testy with me, it wasn’t my fault. And if it makes you feel any better, I doubt Baldie’s going to be around in these circles much longer, if you catch my meaning”
What was the angle he was playing now? Jirou couldn’t figure it out.
“Whatever”
They smoked in silence for a bit again.
“I, uhh, figured you wouldn’t have a ride home so I, uhh, came to offer one, you know, to make up for what happened and everything…”
“I’m not going to say no but I’m not going to thank you either”
“Yeah, yeah I get that. But look, man, you’re pretty good at this, I mean holding your own against us like that, you’d have finished first or second in that last round, I’m sure of it”
Jirou nodded.
“So was I”
“That’s what I’m saying, you’re good at this! So don’t worry about losing today, you could easily make it back, you know?”
“Yeah, by playing in one of those ‘special games’ for tens of millions” Jirou laughed.
Scarface looked perfectly serious when he replied.
“Do you want to?”
“Huh?”
“Play in a game like that”
“I don’t have the money”
“You don’t need any”
“What?”
Scarface dropped his cigarette and ground it under his foot.
“You don’t need money. The money comes from the other side. All of it. You can’t lose any, only gain it”
Jirou laughed out loud heartily.
“You want to sell me a bridge next? Maybe you know a Nigerian prince? All you need is my credit card number and…”
“I’m serious. Games like that, they exist”
Jirou’s smile froze.
“Stop fucking with me, I’m not in the mood”
“Neither am I. I get paid good money to find willing players. It has to be someone who knows how to play well, and you do. It had to be someone who wants to play, consents to it, and I think you will. You’re a pretty good candidate since you overheard about it already and I can vouch for you, that you’re not a cop or anything…” Scarface was rubbing his chin. He was being sincere, it seemed. But… it was so weird.
“And you’re a young guy, not too bad looking, you’ll do”
Jirou laughed again.
“Am I being sized up for a player or a prostitute? Get real idiot, nobody would believe that”
“But it has to be someone young and attractive, the boss likes that”
Jirou felt an ill premonition.
“Your boss?”
“Yeah. Lady Iwano, you’d suit her tastes. Young, good-looking, healthy, smart, daring, yeah, you have to be it. You’re the one. I’ll be your sponsor; I’ll get you into the game, right? And… and if you win, I’ll take a cut, say 10%, that’ll still be in the millions…”
Scarface was beginning to talk faster, more fervently.
“You really, really are serious?” Jirou asked.
“Yeah. Absolutely. But… tomorrow morning she’s leaving the country on, well, on a business trip, right? And so we need to go now. We need to go to her mansion today if you want to be able to make that kind of money, and you can, you definitely can, I believe it…
Jirou had very little to lose. This all seemed suspicious and too good to be true, but looking at his options, what choice did he have? Try to walk home through a bad neighbourhood? It’d be midnight before he got home, maybe later. A car ride to a place with a mansion seemed like a much better option.
“Okay, let’s go” he said, tossing his cigarette. The two of them drove off and arrived in a fancy neighbourhood with many fenced properties, each containing a house that could be called a mansion. The gate to the one they were headed to opened automatically and they drove into a garage.
“Right this way…” Scarface mumbled and led him inside. The house had soft, thick carpets covering all floor space; all walls were covered in wallpapers with warm colours and various paintings depicting either the outdoors or scantily clad men and women, or all of the above.
“You will kindly take of your shoes indoors” a female voice said, and both men stopped in their tracks. A woman in a white kimono, smoking a long pipe, approached them, her eyes looking sleepy.
“Ah, Miss Shiroko, I…”
“You may leave entirely. An appropriate sum will be paid to your account later”
“I, I see. Yes ma’am” Scarface said, bowed and then rushed back into the garage, leaving Jirou alone with this strange woman. He was quite certain she was not a human woman, she seemed too otherworldly.
“I…”
“We have been informed of your situation, Mister Jirou. I am Shiroko, keeper of the mansion of Lady Iwano. Proceed with me to the parlour so we may discuss the rules of tonight’s entertainment”
“Right…”
“And your shoes, please”
“Right”
Jirou took off his shoes and put on the slippers that had, for lack of a better word, materialized. As he turned to place his shoes somewhere, he realized they were no longer there.
“Your coat as well”
Jirou took his coat off and before he knew what happened someone or something had snatched it from his hands and disappeared.
“We employ Kunoichi maids” Shiroko explained.
“I see”
“Then they’re not doing their jobs properly, fufu”
The two entered a large room with a table at the centre of it, surrounded by four chairs. So it really was to be mahjong then.
“Is it true that we’ll play for tens of millions here?” he asked.
“Yes, the sums are quite substantial. Cash will be used during the betting but if it should please you to have it deposited into your bank account that too can be easily accomplished.
“But… why?”
“Most people find the idea of carrying millions of dollars’ worth of cash to be somewhat inconvenient”
“No I mean why do you offer sums like that? I have no money, so what will I be offering up?”
Shiroko’s smile seemed rather ominous as she shut the door they had just entered through, the click of a lock filling the empty air with its finality.
“Why, you’re a healthy young man, what precious thing do you have that you could be betting, I wonder?”
The thought struck terror into Jirou.
“M-my blood?”
Shiroko’s laugh was sincere and very unladylike. She covered her mouth with her hand, and when she removed the hand her grin was downright frightening.
“Oh, I’m sure we can extract something a little more pleasant out of you, don’t you think?”
Jirou swallowed and felt his knees weaken.
“No…”
“Yes…”
“My…”
“Yes”
“My semen?”
“Oh, yessss!” Shiroko whispered, licking the tip of her pipe provocatively. This woman was mad. And so must’ve been her boss. Good god!
A double door at the other end of the room was opened, and sure enough on either side there stood women dressed as ninjas, but with aprons on. Their tails betrayed them as being on a non-human stock. Was this entire mansion filled with monsters?
“Ah, Lady Iwano has arrived”
And then a woman appeared, upside down, hanging from the ceiling. As she entered the room Jirou saw her lower half was that of a spider, and she crawled along the ceiling at a slow, deliberate pace before dropping down into her cushioned chair.
“So you will be my opponent tonight?” she asked, brushing a strand of silvery hair behind an ear. She was old, Jirou could tell, and had some wrinkles, but she was not at all unattractive to him.
“I am”
“Your name?”
“Jirou”
“Pleased to meet you Jirou. I’m Lady Iwano, but as we’re all equal in the realm of mahjong, you may call me Wakana”
She gestured towards the chairs. “Please take a seat”
Jirou did as he was bidden. The other chairs were filled by Shiroko and a Tanuki Jirou had not noticed before.
“You’ve already met my housekeeper, and this is Setsuko. She will be playing in your team to give you a fair chance”
“My team?”
“Mmm, we should of course be getting over the rules of this battle, and before you ask, yes I will be offering you $25 million should you be able to manage a victory”
Jirou couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
“Of course that’s a slim comfort should you lose, but at least you have a good risk-to-reward ration, hm?”
Jirou nodded.
“S-so…”
“I look forward to wringing every last drop of your seed from you, Jirou-chan” the old spider said, winking at him.
“It makes me giddy just thinking about the look on your face after a third straight loss, then a fourth, a fight, ohh how you’ll beg and beg and writhe…” she licked her lips and the two women on her either side waved fans to cool themselves off.
Jirou was beginning to regret the situation already.