FF6 Script Edits: IMPERIAL CAMP ---> VELDT

PART 4A: IMPERIAL CAMP
"Soldier A: If Kefka drives General Leo out of our battalion, he’ll probably become the next general!"
-Woolsey's script cuts out details about how Kefka is plotting to take over, and that he's manipulating General Leo. Suggestion:
"Soldier A: They say Kefka's plotting to drive General Leo out of our battalion, so he can take over his position as general."

"A noble warrior of foreign land. Faithful retainer to his king and country, who holds courage that does not fear death…"
-Good rewrite, but the grammar seems a bit off. His courage doesn't fear death? Suggestion:
"A noble warrior of foreign land. Faithful retainer to his king and country, he fears not even death…"

"Kefka: Ha, ha, ha! …What a toad!"
-He's supposed to be out of breath from running, not laughing. He's trying to get away from the party, not race them. Recommend a revert to the GBA version:
"Kefka: *gasp*… *pant*… You just don't give up, do you?"

"Kefka: Hee, hee! Nothing can beat the music of hundreds of voices screaming in unison! Uwa, ha, ha!"
-Minor nitpick, but I just think the GBA script is worded better. Sorry, it's just that Kefka is a character I'd REALLY like to get right since he steals every scene he's in:
"Kefka: Hee, hee! Nothing beats the sweet music of hundreds of voices screaming in unison! Uwa, ha, ha!"

"Cyan: Aaahhh! We cannot stop now!
Sabin: Then let’s just bust through!"
-Cyan is supposed to be a klutz with machinery, and this is meant to be our introduction to that character trait. He's not charging through soldiers because he's on a rampage, he's doing it because he doesn't know how to control the armor, and that adds to the comedy of him plowing through soldiers. Recommend a revert to the GBA version:
"Cyan: Aaahhh! I cannot stop this monstrosity!
Sabin: Okay, let's bust our way out of here!"

"Cyan: Narshe? Only one route, through the forest to the south.
Sabin: All right! It’s decided. Let’s get going!"
-Missing a detail here about why they decide to abandon the armors, plus Cyan foreshadows towards how creepy/dangerous the forest is. Suggestion:
"Cyan: Narshe? Only one route, through the forest to the south, but…
Sabin: All right! It’s decided. If we're going through the woods, we won't need these hunks of junk anymore. Let’s get going!"


PART 4B: PHANTOM TRAIN
"Howdy, folks. I have some great, value-priced items!"
-The GBA version is written in a way that not only makes a funny ghost joke, but implies he was a salesman in life:
"Howdy, folks! I've got top-quality items at rock-bottom prices! No reason to overcharge now…like they say, you can't take it with you!"

"Ha, ha ha… What ever did you think you were doing?"
-Total mistranslation. Like before, it's being out of breath, not laughing. And nobody is talking to the party: the party leader is speaking. The GBA fixes this. Suggestion:
"Whew… What was that was all about?"

"Man: I am Siegfried, the world’s greatest swordsman! That treasure chest is mine. If I were you, ox, I’d grab grandpa here, and run!"
Sabin: You look more like a manicurist. Now SCRAM!!!
Siegfreid: Aha! The ox bellows! Allow me to introduce my blade!"
-You misspelled Siegfried here. But also, as Siegfried is the Gilgamesh of this game, he's a little misrepresented in Woolsey's script. It's as if Woolsey didn't know what to do with him. As Sabin says, he's meant to be flowery and a bit of a windbag. Suggest a compromise with the GBA version:
"Man: I am Siegfried, the greatest swordsman in all the world! And that treasure belongs to me! If I were you, you overmuscled ox, I'd grab Grandpa there and run away while you still can!
Sabin: You look more like a manicurist. Now scram!
Siegfried: Ah! The ox bellows! Brazen words for one about to be spitted upon my blade like a plump and juicy pig! En garde!"

"Go! Guys!
Ha, ha, ha!
Give up?"
-I know battle lines have to be short, but this is just lame for Siegfried. Suggestion:
"Here I come!
"You kids better get ready!"
"Hi-yaaaaaa!!!"

"“What a wind bag…”"
-Minor nitpick, but there's no reason for this to have quotes. Also, it's "windbag":
"What a windbag…"

"Siegfried: Impossible! I…I’m the greatest… But I’ll still laugh last!
Siegfried: Uwa, ha, ha! This treasure is mine! Ta ta, cretins!"
-In Japanese, he says goodbye in another language just to sound cheeky. The GBA version better fit Siegfried's personality overall:
"Siegfried: N-no! It cannot be! But…the last laugh belongs to me!
Siegfried: Uwa, ha, ha! The treasure is mine! Au revoir, my friends!"


PART 4C: VELDT
N/A