FF6 Script Edits: IMPERIAL CAMP ---> VELDT
DefinitiveDubs Jun 13th, 2019 (edited) 98 Never
Not a member of Pastebin yet? Sign Up, it unlocks many cool features!
- PART 4A: IMPERIAL CAMP
- "Soldier A: If Kefka drives General Leo out of our battalion, he’ll probably become the next general!"
- -Woolsey's script cuts out details about how Kefka is plotting to take over, and that he's manipulating General Leo. Suggestion:
- "Soldier A: They say Kefka's plotting to drive General Leo out of our battalion, so he can take over his position as general."
- "A noble warrior of foreign land. Faithful retainer to his king and country, who holds courage that does not fear death…"
- -Good rewrite, but the grammar seems a bit off. His courage doesn't fear death? Suggestion:
- "A noble warrior of foreign land. Faithful retainer to his king and country, he fears not even death…"
- "Kefka: Ha, ha, ha! …What a toad!"
- -He's supposed to be out of breath from running, not laughing. He's trying to get away from the party, not race them. Recommend a revert to the GBA version:
- "Kefka: *gasp*… *pant*… You just don't give up, do you?"
- "Kefka: Hee, hee! Nothing can beat the music of hundreds of voices screaming in unison! Uwa, ha, ha!"
- -Minor nitpick, but I just think the GBA script is worded better. Sorry, it's just that Kefka is a character I'd REALLY like to get right since he steals every scene he's in:
- "Kefka: Hee, hee! Nothing beats the sweet music of hundreds of voices screaming in unison! Uwa, ha, ha!"
- "Cyan: Aaahhh! We cannot stop now!
- Sabin: Then let’s just bust through!"
- -Cyan is supposed to be a klutz with machinery, and this is meant to be our introduction to that character trait. He's not charging through soldiers because he's on a rampage, he's doing it because he doesn't know how to control the armor, and that adds to the comedy of him plowing through soldiers. Recommend a revert to the GBA version:
- "Cyan: Aaahhh! I cannot stop this monstrosity!
- Sabin: Okay, let's bust our way out of here!"
- "Cyan: Narshe? Only one route, through the forest to the south.
- Sabin: All right! It’s decided. Let’s get going!"
- -Missing a detail here about why they decide to abandon the armors, plus Cyan foreshadows towards how creepy/dangerous the forest is. Suggestion:
- "Cyan: Narshe? Only one route, through the forest to the south, but…
- Sabin: All right! It’s decided. If we're going through the woods, we won't need these hunks of junk anymore. Let’s get going!"
- PART 4B: PHANTOM TRAIN
- "Howdy, folks. I have some great, value-priced items!"
- -The GBA version is written in a way that not only makes a funny ghost joke, but implies he was a salesman in life:
- "Howdy, folks! I've got top-quality items at rock-bottom prices! No reason to overcharge now…like they say, you can't take it with you!"
- "Ha, ha ha… What ever did you think you were doing?"
- -Total mistranslation. Like before, it's being out of breath, not laughing. And nobody is talking to the party: the party leader is speaking. The GBA fixes this. Suggestion:
- "Whew… What was that was all about?"
- "Man: I am Siegfried, the world’s greatest swordsman! That treasure chest is mine. If I were you, ox, I’d grab grandpa here, and run!"
- Sabin: You look more like a manicurist. Now SCRAM!!!
- Siegfreid: Aha! The ox bellows! Allow me to introduce my blade!"
- -You misspelled Siegfried here. But also, as Siegfried is the Gilgamesh of this game, he's a little misrepresented in Woolsey's script. It's as if Woolsey didn't know what to do with him. As Sabin says, he's meant to be flowery and a bit of a windbag. Suggest a compromise with the GBA version:
- "Man: I am Siegfried, the greatest swordsman in all the world! And that treasure belongs to me! If I were you, you overmuscled ox, I'd grab Grandpa there and run away while you still can!
- Sabin: You look more like a manicurist. Now scram!
- Siegfried: Ah! The ox bellows! Brazen words for one about to be spitted upon my blade like a plump and juicy pig! En garde!"
- "Go! Guys!
- Ha, ha, ha!
- Give up?"
- -I know battle lines have to be short, but this is just lame for Siegfried. Suggestion:
- "Here I come!
- "You kids better get ready!"
- "“What a wind bag…”"
- -Minor nitpick, but there's no reason for this to have quotes. Also, it's "windbag":
- "What a windbag…"
- "Siegfried: Impossible! I…I’m the greatest… But I’ll still laugh last!
- Siegfried: Uwa, ha, ha! This treasure is mine! Ta ta, cretins!"
- -In Japanese, he says goodbye in another language just to sound cheeky. The GBA version better fit Siegfried's personality overall:
- "Siegfried: N-no! It cannot be! But…the last laugh belongs to me!
- Siegfried: Uwa, ha, ha! The treasure is mine! Au revoir, my friends!"
- PART 4C: VELDT
RAW Paste Data