[5:32 PM] Mandy: alright, let us know when you're back from driving Jess to work o/
[5:32 PM] Sera: gotta get her to stop nerding out over Fire Emblem and go get dressed first lmao
[6:15 PM] Sera: /flops in here
[6:16 PM] Mandy: welcome back
[6:16 PM] Eski: eyo
[6:17 PM] Mandy: We called you in here because we wanted to talk with you for a bit
[6:18 PM] Mandy: to start with, this isn't something that you're in trouble for. We don't think any of this happened maliciously, so it's not like a "we're giving you a strike" kind of thing or whatever. But we wanted to talk with you about this so you know what's going on.
[6:18 PM] Sera: oh boy
[6:19 PM] Sera: now I'm worried
[6:19 PM] Mandy: basically, you've been a bit pushy regarding ships OOCly in the last couple weeks. Not like "SHIP WITH ME OR SUFFER" of course, but like, edging in on uncomfortable territory.
[6:20 PM] Mandy: and we don't think it's something you're doing on purpose to make people uncomfortable. We think you're just excited about shipping and want to talk ships
[6:20 PM] Sera: oh.... I... didn't realize I was making anyone uncomfortable?
[6:21 PM] Sera: that was... not my intent at all
[6:21 PM] Eski: yeah, we figured you weren't doing it on purpose
[6:21 PM] Mandy: yeah, exactly. That's why we wanted to give you the heads-up
[6:21 PM] Eski: which is why this is more of a gentle 'hey chill a little friendo' instead of any major corrective response
[6:22 PM] Sera: sorry u.u
[6:23 PM] Sera: I.... /sob Tal finally has people to interact with again
[6:23 PM] Mandy: and like, this isn't IC stuff we're commenting on here either
[6:23 PM] Mandy: ICly, you're doing great
[6:23 PM] Mandy: it's more the OOC talk that has been brought to our attention
[6:23 PM] Sera: ah.... okay
[6:23 PM] Eski: yeah
[6:24 PM] Sera: I know you can't name names or anything and I wouldn't ask you to but if you would relay apologies to... whoever this came up from? and I will keep my stupid about the boys out of chat ^^;;;
[6:25 PM] Mandy: tbh it's not even really just talking about ships in general
[6:25 PM] Mandy: it's like....okay
[6:25 PM] Sera: I know the last few days with.... the drama going on in deadland there's been more chatter then usual in chat about it...
[6:25 PM] Mandy: here I'll try to explain what I saw
[6:26 PM] Mandy: Sometimes, when people joke about ships happening, or talk about character developments involving characters that you ship Talcott with (Nine and Ren primarily from what I've seen), you get a bit intense about it
[6:27 PM] Mandy: like, however you feel about it (good or bad), your feelings ramp up a lot and it makes it difficult to talk about those things even jokingly
[6:29 PM] Mandy: we like people talking about ships OOCly, but we want the conversations to be comfortable ones for everyone involved
[6:31 PM] Sera: I will try to be more aware of that. I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable.
[6:32 PM] Mandy: yeah, and again, I feel you aren't doing this on purpose
[6:32 PM] Mandy: the reason we're talking to you about it now is partially because of recent comments in the graveyard regarding floe
[6:32 PM] Sera: I figured.
[6:33 PM] Mandy: and I thought that you were probably coming at it from a place of "this is how Talcott feels about it", which isn't wrong to think!
[6:33 PM] Mandy: But to someone on the outside of things, it really looks like "FLoe is bad and Talcott is good and this is why"
[6:33 PM] Sera: and if I made Mizu uncomfortable I didn't mean to it's.... yeah Tal's views are really skewed on it
[6:33 PM] Mandy: which is very inappropriate. And I definitely think you didn't mean that
[6:33 PM] Mandy: (mean it to be 'floe bad, talcott good', I mean)
[6:34 PM] Sera: Floe is a teenage girl she's perfectly understandable!
[6:34 PM] Sera: but we did start that conversation with like... the hivemind thing and if everyone in GY has to deal with this....>insert rant
[6:35 PM] Mandy: you did, yes. and I've been keeping that in mind for this talk too
[6:35 PM] Sera: and that was part of why I went to plurk to kind of dump my thoughts on his feels
[6:36 PM] Mandy: more what we want you to do is to keep others in mind and be careful with how you word stuff, mostly? We're sure your intent is not to hurt, but it's also hard to translate intent into text over the internet.
[6:36 PM] Mandy: like, still be excited for ships and playing and stuff, we don't want you to not have fun
[6:36 PM] Mandy: but we also want everyone to have fun here, and if someone's uncomfortable because of what someone else is saying then we want to have a friendly chat to make that known
[6:37 PM] Sera: no I get where you're coming from I didn't mean it that way but I probbaly should have poked at Mizu privately before any of this mess started
[6:37 PM] Sera: she's just on at such different times from me usually I talked to Maru and didn't... think
[6:38 PM] Sera: got excited and got ahead of myself  def
[6:38 PM] Mandy: tbh that's only what I noticed in the game chat, and why I personally went "mmmmm we better say something before this goes too far"
[6:39 PM] Sera: I feel bad that if I was making her uncomfortable she didn't feel safe enough to come to me directly to say "hey cool it?" mostly?
[6:39 PM] Mandy: OOC communication in general is hard, that's why we mods are here to say "if it's hard for you to talk at all, come to us and we'll do the talking"
[6:40 PM] Sera: yeah
[6:40 PM] Mandy: though tbh it's not just chat behavior we're talking about here either
[6:41 PM] Sera: oh
[6:41 PM] Mandy: the person who came to us- who we can't really name in this case, I'm sorry- brought stuff from private messages to us
[6:41 PM] Sera: oh
[6:41 PM] Sera: okay
[6:43 PM] Eski: again it's not like, 'bannable offense bad', it's just
[6:43 PM] Eski: 'she's most likely unaware what she's saying is being taken as pushing'
[6:43 PM] Eski: 'and isn't her intention'
[6:45 PM] Mandy: in this case, there were a few times where either chat talk happened involving this player's character or something ICly happened with this character, and either in chat or over PMs you talked about how Talcott felt about it
[6:45 PM] Mandy: and most of the time that was fine! But a few times when you did that what you said made this player uncomfortable
[6:45 PM] Sera: I get you can't name names so I just... want to throw this out there I have... only talked to 2 people outside of chat that I don't live with
[6:46 PM] Mandy: if you think you know who it is then we ask that you please respect their decision to remain anonymous here
[6:46 PM] Sera: because I'm a socially anxious mess half the time  so it takes a lot for me to actually DM someone
[6:46 PM] Mandy: they came to us about this and asked us to talk to you about it because they have trouble with talks
[6:46 PM] Eski: yes, please, because we couldn't really talk about this issue without bringing this up despite anonynmity
[6:46 PM] Sera: I'm not going to call anyone out or anything I'm just
[6:47 PM] Sera: I didn't mean to make people uncomfortable and this is why I don't talk to people
[6:47 PM] Mandy: and they told us that, most of the time, the talk like that is totally fine
[6:47 PM] Mandy: they like talking about character reactions!
[6:47 PM] Mandy: But a couple times, the reactions were a bit extreme
[6:48 PM] Sera: and I specifically asked if I needed to back off or if things were okay or if they even wanted to tag with me or if I should step back because I didn't want to be pushy
[6:49 PM] Sera: like that's the whole reason I even got up the nerve to DM Maru
[6:49 PM] Sera: because I was scared I was being too stupid
[6:49 PM] Mandy: they still want to thread with you, they didn't say they wanted to stop threading with you
[6:49 PM] Mandy: they just. think it's a bit much
[6:49 PM] Mandy: especially when you talk stuff like "Talcott feels horrible, he's a bad boyfriend, etc."
[6:50 PM] Mandy: OOCly btw, for these talks
[6:52 PM] Sera: I'm sorry
[6:52 PM] Mandy: "Every time [character] was either moving on or like when he needed space cause something happened in the game? Sera would hit me up with how bad Tal feels over [incident] or like even told me that Tal was going to kill himself in the GY."
[6:52 PM] Mandy: is the complaint specifically
[6:53 PM] Mandy: (with the brackets where identifying info was removed)
[6:53 PM] Mandy: and like I said, I don't think you did any of this maliciously
[6:53 PM] Mandy: but it's just a bit much sometimes, especially when emotional stuff is happening in the game
[6:54 PM] Mandy: and that's what the player wanted us to relay to you
[6:54 PM] Sera: okay
[6:54 PM] Mandy: and as long as you keep that in mind, it'll be fine
[6:54 PM] Sera: I'll back off
[6:54 PM] Mandy: we definitely still want you to have fun here!
[6:54 PM] Eski: right, this isn't even an official warning, it's just a 'hey, be a little more careful' sort of thing
[6:55 PM] Eski: you've been a great player and we're happy to have you here in game! sometimes you've just got to curb your enthusiasm a little when boundries are close to getting stepped on
[6:56 PM] Sera: okay
[6:56 PM] Sera: I'll try to keep myself in check
[6:56 PM] Sera: I'm sorry
[6:56 PM] Eski: it's okay! it's a common mistake to make
[6:57 PM] Eski: I've been told to tone down at times and so long as you go 'oh, okay' and work on it, everything'll be okay
[6:57 PM] Mandy: it's okay. And if you have trouble with knowing where the boundary between "fun and cool to talk about" and "this is getting a little awkward" is, we can help with that
[6:57 PM] Eski: yep!
[6:59 PM] Sera: I'm worse with Tal because there's not a lot of canon info for him so I... tend to go off extrapolating how/where his feels/ideas/etc come from
[6:59 PM] Eski: yeah, we weren't actually canon familiar, or else we probably would have asked you to switch your reserve, like how we did with a madotsuki one
[7:00 PM] Sera: oh
[7:00 PM] Sera: I'm sorry
[7:00 PM] Eski: nah it's fine!
[7:00 PM] Mandy: It's alright. That's on us tbh
[7:00 PM] Eski: can't do much about it now and tbh we really should have looked more closelyt
[7:00 PM] Mandy: And really, Talcott has been pretty fun in the game
[7:00 PM] Eski: yeah!
[7:02 PM] Mandy: and like, 95% of the time it's been fine. Which is why we wanted to nudge you a bit about the other 5%, because you've been a good player and really active in the game and all.
[7:02 PM] Eski: yeah, exactly!
[7:03 PM] Mandy: You've done a LOT for the game and this doesn't diminish that
[7:03 PM] Mandy: and if there's anything we can do for you, please let us know?
[7:03 PM] Mandy: we're more about 'fixing the problem so everyone can have fun' than pointing fingers and blaming people
[7:03 PM] Eski: yeah exactly!
[7:04 PM] Eski: I keep repeating myself but we are here for you and everyone
[7:08 PM] Sera: I will.... probably stop instigating conversations, honestly since I only have really talked to Maru and Pan at this point OOCly and I don't.... want to keep stepping on toes
[7:09 PM] Sera: and if you guys think Nine is bad Zack would have been so much worse lol
[7:09 PM] Sera: Zack would've gotten the Losers drunk by now
[7:09 PM] Eski: zack why this
[7:10 PM] Mandy: we don't want you to feel too uncomfortable to talk with people either, that's going way too far in the other direction.
[7:11 PM] Sera: I only started talking to Maru like a week ago
[7:12 PM] Sera: I don't... know how to take this and still feel comfortable starting conversations, honestly
[7:17 PM] Mandy: if you need time, that's alright
[7:17 PM] Mandy: and if you need help with starting the conversations again, that's alright too
[7:17 PM] Mandy: we're here to facilitate talk and cooperation, so if you need help we're here for you
[7:27 PM] Sera: Yeah I guess... I just.... don't... usually ping someone in a DM unless something happened that I.... think they'd be interested in? or want to flail over? and .... apparently that's not almways okay so I don't know what else to do for that?
[7:28 PM] Mandy: in this case, I think it was more the content that bothered them
[7:28 PM] Mandy: because being told "my character is about to kill themselves" is a bit upsetting
[7:32 PM] Sera: I'll be better about not mentioning that kind of thing
[7:32 PM] Sera: I'm sorry
[7:33 PM] Sera: being alone for so long with so few people actually doing things in deadland kind of fucked him up?
[7:34 PM] Sera: I honestly have to wonder if that wouldn't have been better between how frustrated and upset I was for awhile there with no one being around and then finally start having things to do again and I....
[7:34 PM] Sera: that's not a rational though fuck I'm sorry
[7:34 PM] Sera: I'm upset and I'm not-
[7:35 PM] Sera: I'm going to go cuddle my dog for a little while and try to calm down and have a rational conversation I'm sorry
[7:36 PM] Mandy: that's finre
[7:36 PM] Mandy: take all the time you need
[7:36 PM] Mandy: if you want to talk when you're done, we'll be here
[11:00 PM] Sera: would it be inappropriate to offer a kind of blanket apology?
[11:00 PM] Mandy: not at all
[11:00 PM] Eski: that'd be fine yeah
[11:05 PM] Sera: I just... don't want to make it seem like you guys betrayed their anonymity
[11:06 PM] Mandy: if you want we can pass on an apology?
[11:13 PM] Sera: yeah....
[11:17 PM] Sera: It would be easier for me to feel comfortable starting conversations again if I could say a "I don't know details but mods approached me so I am giving everyone an apology if I've ever made you uncomfortable."  and just... go back to regularly scheduled ridiculousness
[11:17 PM] Sera: but I don't know how that would be taken by Maru
[11:18 PM] Mandy: I think that would draw more attention to the issue
[11:18 PM] Sera: okay
[11:18 PM] Sera: sorry
[11:18 PM] Mandy: it would be better if we passed the message around privately to the person and then everyone goes back to friendly talk in chat
[11:18 PM] Sera: okay
[11:19 PM] Sera: then yeah I guess if you could just pass on that I... don't want to make anyone uncomfortable and I am sorry that I did
[11:19 PM] Mandy: okay
[11:19 PM] Mandy: we can pass that on for you
[11:20 PM] Sera: and I know I had tossed out comments about Ichigo so if I made you uncomfortable @Eski  I'm sorry
[11:20 PM] Eski: I've got a bit of thicker skin tbh?
[11:20 PM] Eski: like It takes a LOT to get me mad/upset, mandy can attest this
[11:21 PM] Sera: that doesn't mean it's okay if I went too far or... got too excitable about things
[11:22 PM] Eski: there were a few times, but it's okay and I accept your apology! I'd rather you know what's up so that you can work on it, because literally everyone makes mistakes
[11:22 PM] Eski: I've been right there with you re: being too enthusiastic and trampling boundries
[11:25 PM] Sera: yeah...  I'll try to be better
[11:25 PM] Eski: that's all we can ask!
[11:25 PM] Eski: And thank you, I know it hurts to hear
[11:25 PM] Eski: I remember crying when they were like 'yo eski slow your roll'
[11:25 PM] Eski: but in the long run it helped me
[11:28 PM] Sera: it probably doesn't help that I've never been one for chats since like... the AOL days back in LJ ffffff
[11:28 PM] Sera: this game is the first time I've really used discord?
[11:28 PM] Mandy: yeah I feel you
[11:28 PM] Eski: haha same on not being one for chats
[11:29 PM] Mandy: honestly I didn't plan on using discord much at first, not until everyone was in it for the game
[11:29 PM] Mandy: and then I went 'welp'
[11:30 PM] Sera: it's easier to get... too comfortable too fast when you're used to plurk I think? or maybe I'm making excuses at this point idk
[11:30 PM] Eski: nah it's def a thing
[11:30 PM] Eski: A good rule of thumb is to be like 'okay is this too much' before hitting send?
[11:31 PM] Eski: sometimes I've had to stop and ask myself that
[11:31 PM] Eski: it really does help, esp if you have poor impulse control like me
[11:31 PM] Sera: impulse control, what's that?
[11:31 PM] Sera: can you eat it?
[11:54 PM] Eski: ikr???
[11:55 PM] Sera: I mean... I'm here aren't I?
[11:56 PM] Sera: we literally just had the whole household pile into this game we'd never heard of during reserves fffffffff