Fluff Wash part 1

Fluff Wash part 1

http://toranistheauthor.tumblr.com/

Warning:  This story contains accidental deaths of fluffies, viewer discretion is advised



These series of tests will determine if my newest invention, the Fluff Wash (patent pending) performs as intended.  Additionally, several new brands of pet shampoo and deodorizer focused towards fluffies will also be tested on behalf of Hasbro corp, Rand corp and Proctor & Gamble.  If trials are successful the next step is sales to local breeders, groomers and shelters.  Long term goals include selling the patent to Hasbro or a large veterinarian chain.

Audio... recording.  Heh, ok, it'll be weird talking to myself.  The date is May 17, 2017, 9:22 am.
Seeing as this will be my first live tests of experimental equipment, many options designed for operator comfort or convenience aren't present yet.  Paint, stickers, and other asthetics haven't been finalized.  I'll have to ask the fluffies what their favorite color is.

The final wash chamber is 2.5 feet long by 2 feet high by 2 feet deep not including the 6 inch base that houses the mechanics and electronics.  It's pedestal is another 2 feet high leaving enough room for chemical storage and one standard fluffy carrier.  Inside the chamber is enough space to fit a pregnant mare... or a really fat fluffy.   That leaves enough space for the four function arms to rotate around it and do the work.  Heavy hinges across the top give access to insert the fluffy and place it's neck into the head isolation notch.  Closing the top lowers the isolation ring's top half, ensuring a water resistant fit and keeping the subject from drowing.  I recently added a manual wash station at the head end so operators can clean the ponies mane and face for obvious safety reasons.  Finally, fluffies stand on a stainless steel mesh, it's wide enough so they can stand comfortably and still get sprayed all over.

My first test group has just been collected from two local shelters and a breeder;  a variety of fluffies covering all three types and both genders.  They come from various backgrounds, from raised in a human home to a feral smarty.  Differences in their past lives have been catalogued after feeding and an extensive question period, to varying degrees of success.  Domesticated fluffies are for the most part much easier to deal with but I need data from all kinds, no matter how mouthy.  None are privy to the details of my machine, only that it makes fluffies smell pretty and good fluffies will be rewarded.  Every one has been told the exact same story to keep experiences consistent.

It's been five months of long hours and scrapped prototypes.  This one though, this one is my magnum opus.  I'm immensely proud of my latest design, with a little testing I've no doubt it'll pass muster and succeed.



Recording.  It's May 17, 2017, 9:31 am, test one.  Subject one is an adult unicorn female, red body, orange mane, domesticated and named Cinder

"Dat me!"

Yes, that's you.  Subject went into the device no problem, she's a good fluffy.

"Cindah iz gud fwuffy".

Indeed.  The chamber is now closed and ready to go, lets start with the lightest wash.

"Wha dat noise?  AAHHHH Cindah fewl wawa!  Nu wan wawa!  Pwease hewp fwuffy!"

Calm down Cinder, it's just a little water and it won't hurt you.  Subject showing signs of distress and is vocalizing discomfort.

"Nu wan wawa, wawa bad fo' fwuffies, pwease hewp!  Cindah iz gud fwuffy!"

Cinder it can't hurt you, your face is dry right?

"Wawa cowd, poopie pwace cowd.  Pwease wet Cindah up, need huggies!"

It's cold?  Weird, it shouldn't be.  Let me turn it up a few degrees.

"Pwease hewp fwuffy, no wike dis.  Pwease wet Cindah up!"

But soon your fluff will be beautiful and smell pretty, you want to be a pretty fluffy right?

"Cindah wanna be pwetty buh nu wan wawa, wa-wawa gif owwies!  Nuuuuu why huwt fwuffy?  Is gud fwuffy!"

Honestly now, just relax and let the machine do it's job, you'll love being clean and smelling nice for a change.

"Nu wan, nu wan wawa owwies!  Hooman pwease wet Cindah up, Cindah gif big huggies!"

Bribery won't get you anything but it was a good effort.  Simply breath in and out and all yo...

"OWWIES!  Wawa mean wawa!  Why huwt fwuffy?  Pwease no huwt anymo'! Nu huwt poopy pwace!  Pwease pwease wawa!"

Subject continues to complain about water owies, I mean physical discomfort.  I suspect this is just a typical fluffy reflex to being surrounded by water, so maybe I'll skip the mane wash since she's so worked up.

"Nuuuuuuu... pwease nu huwt.. big owies...  Fwuffy is gud fwuffy, nu huwt..."

Subject appears to be jumping and thrashing with her rear legs, it's impressive how high she can get her rear off the mesh.

"Fwuffy sowy, gif huggies... no mo' pwease.. owwie..pw*gurgle*"

Hmm... subject has finally stopped verbalizing, however her jumping continues on.  Perhaps she realized asking me for help wasn't getting her anything.  I always thought the stories of fluffies never learning a bit overblown.  There appears to be slight foaming around the edges of her mouth, a typical result of fluffy panic?

Oh, time is 9:39 am, water has ceased and the plastic fingers have started working up a lather.  Cinder has stopped struggling too.  It appears the strong jets by the rear managed to blast away all the dried poop in her fluff.. actually... ya I think she's bleeding a bit around the anus.  Wha... foaming around her lips has turned a deep crimson and flows freely from her mouth, attempts to rouse her have been unsuccessful.  I'm aborting and removing the fluffy.

Time is 9:44 am, subject number one, Cinder, is dead.  Now free from the isolation notch her body feels like a bag full of pudding.  I checked the water jets, looks like the pressure was about ten to fifteen times higher than it should have been.  Every bone in her body has been pulverized, there are a few lacerations where the fluff is thinnest.  It's fair to call this first test a rousing defeat, but even in failure important data is accumulated.  Cinder will be burried in my back yard, I owe her that much at least.  I wonder how the other fluffies will react to their friend not coming back?

Note to self, recalibrate water pressure.

End part 1