May 19th, 2013
- This is another tale of a man. A man who sought to become close to the thing he loved.
- Somewhere of in a city located some place in the world there lived a man named Anon. Somewhere in his mid to late twenties, Anon held a deep love for a certain female. It was a bit of an unrequited love, though he was sure she would love him back if she knew. It was also a forbidden love; one he kept hidden from even his closest family and friends.
- After a long hard day of pushing boxes, Anon sat on his bed, lighting a vanilla scented candle, allowing it's smell to fill the bed side. He hummed the theme song of a certain show to himself as he calmly brushed the toy's purple hair. After a bit of fuss over the style, he eventually placed it down next to the picture frame on his bed. A picture frame containing his beloved. The Frame, the Candle, the doll: It all completed his shrine to the one he loved. The best Marshmallow Pony in the world.
- No, it's not Rarity you dolt. This Guy's a filly fiddler. He likes Sweetie Belle.
- Anon sighed to himself as he lay on his bed, indulging in the vanilla scent that he sometimes imagined to be Sweetie Belle's pony butt. He often wondered why he liked the little filly so much. He wasn't nearly as bad off as some of the people he saw on 4chan or even ponychan. He actually had a decent, though not prefect job, as well as a loving family. Okay, sure, he was a little over weight but not everyone's perfect, right? So why did he have to sit here worshiping a pre-puecent pony? However, as Anon turned to look at the small shrine he had erected for the cartoon pony, all worries melted away. He quietly shook his head with a smile. "I just can't quit you." he said in a quiet voice.
- "Hoho! Why would you quit when we've only just begun?"
- Anon immediately shot up in his bed at the strange voice in his room. Expecting a robber or some sort of rapist, he could never have anticipated what he actually saw: A cartoon Horse-Goat-Lion-Ram-a-bunch-of-other-creatures-thing. It was Star Swi-
- "Now now, those are just rumors!" Discord chuckled, waving a finger in the air.
- Of course, Anon's first instinct was to scream. A cartoon avatar of chaos in his apartment? That's some Cthulhu shit right there.
- "Ohho, none of that now!" Discord made a motion as if flicking a rubber band in Anon's direction. Suddenly, Anon found himself unable to scream as a metal plate covered his mouth.
- Discord quickly snaked his way over to Anon's side, placing his hand on Anon's frightened head. "Yes, I know what you're thinking, I've already done this before. Yes, I am Discord, the character from that cartoon you love so much. Yes, I am real, not an hallucination, no, I don't watch star trek. Now, if you promise to calm down and be a good boy, I'll take this thing off your mouth." After a second of thought, Anon nodded in silent agreement.
- "Ah, Excellent!" Discord replied as he quickly made a motion over Anon's mouth. As if pulling on a zipper the metal plate split in half and fell from Anon's mouth as he began making gasps for air.
- "You know, I didn't even cover your nose. You Bronys really are all mouth-breathers." Discord drily commented as he examined the claws on his lion's paw.
- "D-discord!? But how? How are you here?" Anon stammered
- "Ah, but the question isn't how I'm here, that would take all day. The real question is 'why'!" Discord said flashing his best smile while pointing with both hands toward Anon. "And that's a really easy question to answer, my friend, because I'm here to help YOU!"
- "Help me?" Anon furrowed his brow, "Why would you help me?"
- "What? Can't I be a good Samaritan?" Discord placed his hand over his heart. However, Anon gave him a look to show he wasn't convinced."
- "Okay, fine." Discord replied, dropping the facade. "You got me. The truth is I do want to cause a little chaos, but I promise in the end it will only help you!" Discord gently picked up Anon's framed picture of Sweetie Belle, caressing it as he held it up to his face, as if to display it to Anon. "Surely you want to see your precious Sweetie Belle, don't you?"
- Anon's heart skipped a beat. "You... you can do that?"
- "Why yes, of course! It's all very easy once you know how to do it, actually!" Discord replied in a joyous leap.
- "But, wait... You want something in return, right? Like... Chaos? You want me to do Chaos?"
- Discord once again placed his hand on Anon's shoulder. "Now now, I do like chaos, but it's not something you actually have to worry about, I swear! I mean, I could get you to do something if I really wanted - like, this one time, I actually got someone to murder one of those more annoying ponies! Can you believe it, he actually just -" Discord laughed to himself as he looked Anon in the face, seeing a disapproving expression.
- The chimera let out a sigh as he dusted the shirt Anon was wearing "Okay, look, sometimes I just like to send you guys off to Equestria. It's usually pretty fun to watch the chaos that ensues from the changes. Well, sometimes, anyway."
- Anon took a step back from the draconequus "So, you're saying I really don't have to do anything for you? No strings attached?"
- Discord raised his hand as if in oath. "Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a cupcake in my eye." he recited, poking his eye with one of his fingers then cartoonishly pulling it out of it's socket before it magically vanished and re-appeared in the correct place.
- Anon, of course, was putting thought into this supposed offer "What about here? What about my family?"
- "Oh, don't worry Anon, they'll barely notice you're gone! I promise, if they do, I'll take care of everything!"
- "Actually, I don't like the sound of that."
- "Come come now, Anon. You don't want to miss this once in a life time opportunity, do you?" Discord's voice trailed off in a teasing manner. "Besides, you don't want to miss out of cuddles with your sweetie belle, do you?" Discord taunted while waving the framed picture in Anon's face.
- After a moment of thought, Anon finally reached his decision. "Okay, I'll do it." Anon stated, giving the obvious answer since otherwise this entire story would have been pointless. "Now, promise me no funny stuff while I'm gone."
- "Don't worry, Anon. I don't do 'Funny stuff'." Discord said with a smile "I Do HILARIOUS stuff!"
- "What, What?" was all Anon could eek out before being interrupted by Discord, who's head suddenly took the form of Applejack's.
- "Well Hell's Bells, Anon! You're off to see Sweetie Belle! Now the Bell Tolls for Thee!"
- Discord quickly pulled out a large metal bell, placing it over Anon before striking it with a large hammer. The shock waves from the reverberation of the bell cause Anon's vision to blur, everything shaking, until eventually it all went black.
- When Anon finally regained his senses he found himself in an alley way. However, this wasn't like the alley ways he was used to back in his boring ol' city. This one was bright and colorful and happy. He recognized immediately that he was now somehow in Equestria.
- Like a small child Anon stood giddy with anticipation at his surroundings, his excitement getting the better of him as he did not once question how a three dimensional person could possibly interact with a two dimensional cartoon pony world. He quickly rushed out into the streets to introduce himself to pony kind; surely they would welcome him with open arms.
- However, what Anon found was nothing but and empty town square. Not a single pony seemed to be outside. Curious, Anon began to sower the town, eventual realizing that there really were no ponies in town. It was a ghost town.
- After a couple of hours of searching Anon was about to give up hope of finding anything when he finally found Rarity's Carousel Boutique. He had already managed to track down Sugar Cube Corner and the Library, finding them equally as empty. Carousel Boutique was the last place in town he he could think to check. As he approached the door to the shop Anon could make out a faint sound.
- It was humming! Success! He finally found someone!
- Anon quietly and carefully opened the unlocked door to the shop and silently made his way through to the source of the noise. To his astonishment, he found none other than Sweetie Belle in the back room, working on a drawing of some sort.
- Anon quickly felt the spaghetti building up inside him as he debated how to approach the situation. Talking to Sweetie Belle, his favorite pony, made him nervous. However, she was the only pony he could find in the whole town. He had to talk to her.
- Deciding to try his best not to startle her, Anon decided to get her attention by knocking quietly on the room's door frame. However, this didn't seem to get her attention, so Anon tried knocking a little louder. When even this failed to get the pony's attention Anon finally spoke up, uttering a simple "Hey." Still, the small pony carried on without a responded. Anon continued to make noise, waiting in vain to gain the filly's attention. Frustrated, Anon eventually walked up to the pony and placed his had on her shoulder.
- BAM! There was a strong electrical discharge that sent Anon flying back into the wall. Taking a second to regain his composure, Anon stood up, wondering just what the hell happened.
- "Anon! There you are!" Sweetie Belle turned around, happily acting as if Anon had just walked in the room. He quickly ran up to him, carrying her drawing in her mouth. "Look it look it! Look what I made!" Anon reached down and took the paper from the young filly's mouth. It was a crude crayon drawing of what looked like her, Rarity and... a human? Was that him?
- "See! It's a drawing I made of us! Do you like it?"
- Anon smiled and patted Sweetie Belle on the head, assuring her it was wonderful, when there suddenly came the sound of the front door of the shop opening. "Sweetie Belle, I'm back! Have ou behaved yourself while I was at the store?" It was her sister, Rarity.
- "Oh, hello there, Anon. I didn't know you were here." Rarity said as she entered the room. For some reason Anon couldn't understand these ponies were acting as if they already knew him.
- "Hey, look what I made Rarity!" Sweetie Belle said as she took the crayon drawing from Anon's hands and sowed it to her sister. "It's a drawing of us. See, that's me, and that's you, and that's Anon over there!"
- "Oh, yes, that's wonderful, Darling." Rarity said in a half-dry tone as see looked and the paper. However, it wasn't long before her eyes were drawn to something back behind her sister.
- "Wha- What is this!?" Rarity exclaimed, rushing over to the big multicolored stain on the floor where Sweetie had previously been working on her project. "Oh, I'm sorry Rarity, I didn't mean to make a mess." Sweetie Belle said, gloomily "I don't even know how it got there. Honest."
- "Honestly, Sweetie Belle, I don't know how you always managed to make such a mess of things, even something this simple." Rarity scolded the filly. Then the white unicorn turned menacingly over toward Anon. "And I can't believe you, Anon! Just letting her do something like that! You're just as guilty as she is!"
- What the hell?! Why was she accusing him!? Despite his protests, Rarity would not listen to Anon's side of the story. Eventually, Rarity said she would clean up the mess, sending both Anon and Sweetie on their way, so they wouldn't "Mess anything else up."
- As Anon and Sweetie Belle walked along, Sweetie Belle began to Apologize for what happened. "I'm really sorry Anon, I didn't mean to get you in trouble with Rarity. But I guess you know how she is..." Anon simply smiled in agreement as he patted Sweetie Belle's head. "Hey, Anon, there's still some time left before we need to go home. Why don't we head over the the park and play?"
- Making their way over the the park, you were greeted by something that struck a bit of terror in Sweetie Belle's heart: Diamond Tiara and her crony Silver Spoon.
- "Oh, well, if it isn't a couple of little losers. You blank flanks come to play at the park like a baby?" Diamond Tiara taunted.
- "Did she really just call me a blank flank?" Anon thought. He knew it really shouldn't bother him - of course he wouldn't have a cutie mark - but for some reason, coming from her, it made him feel... self conscious.
- "Well, why are YOU here in the park?" Sweetie Belle replied, trying to turn the tables in the conversation.
- Diamond Tiara simply snorted in disdain. "We were taking as short cut on our way back home. Why would I play at this crummy park when I could just ask daddy to buy me a new one?"
- Both Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon laughed mockingly as they began to leave "See you latter, Blank Flanks!".
- They were both so infuriating to Anon. He felt like he should have just kicked the shit out of those stuck up little ponies, yet he could feel something holding him back. What was it? Despite his size to them, did he actually feel... intimidated?"
- "Aw, who cares about them. Come on, Anon, let's go play!" Sweetie Belle said pulling on Anon's hand. Though it had been years since he had even stepped foot in a park, Anon felt very at ease as he and Sweetie Belle played together. Anon was even quite surprised when Sweetie Belle actually managed to push him on the swing set. "She must be stringer than she looks, or maybe finally getting the hang of magic." Anon thought.
- Eventually the sun started to set, giving the signal that it was time to go home. Anon decided to escort Sweetie back to her parents; he wouldn't want anything to happen to her, after all. Besides that, Anon didn't really know where else to go, anyway. It's not like he had a place to stay in ponyville.
- "Mom! Dad! We're home!" Sweetie Belle shouted as she and Anon entered the house. "There you are! Oh, hello, Anon! You're looking good, don'tcha know." Sweetie Belle's mom said as she entered the entrance way. "Glad to see you 'round Anon, yep." Sweetie Belle's father patted him on the back. "You two are just in time for dinner."
- As it turns out, Anon soon found he did have a place to stay: Sweetie Belle's room. After a dinner of steamed carrots and sprouts, which Anon found to be quite tasty, much to his surprise, both he and Sweetie Belle were ushered off to sleep in the little filly's room. Sure, he had to sleep on the floor, but at least it was a place to stay.
- After saying his good nights to the family, Anon lay awake on the floor of Sweetie's room. It had been so strange coming to ponyville, first seeing no pony around then suddenly it's like they all knew him. He knew it was probably part of Discord's magic, but what the heck was going on?
- Anon turned over to look at the sleeping Sweetie Belle. He had to admit he was pretty excited to be sleeping all alone with her in her room... with her parent's permission, no less! It made his heart race a bit, but he just couldn't do anything. He still loved Sweetie Belle more than anything he knew, but there was something holding hims back, as if there was some other, new feeling he was experiencing.
- "Sweetie! Anon! Hurry up you sleepy heads! Breakfast!" Mom shouted, rousing Anon from his slumber. Still sleepy, he clumsily climbed out of the top bunk of the bed and joined Sweetie belle in the bathroom to brush his teeth.
- As Anon bounded down the stairs he was soon greeted by the smell of toast and oatmeal "Oh, there you are! You two eat up, you have a big day at school today." Mom greeted them as they sat at the table.
- Wait, what? School? Was she really expecting him to go to school? However, before Anon could object he found himself pushed out the door and headed on the way to the school house. Sure, Anon could have just ditched, but for some reason he felt he needed to stick with Sweetie belle.
- Soon arriving at the school house, Anon and Sweetie belle met Cheerilee, who was greeting students at the door. "Good morning, Sweetie and Anon! You two go ahead and take your seats." Sweetie Belle immediately headed for her desk, however Anon simply stood at the front of the class. Why was he here? Were they expecting him for some sort of guest lecture or something? As Cheerilee moved to her desk she gave Anon a confused look. "Anon, aren't you going to take your seat?" Anon suddenly felt embarrassed as he noticed the empty seat behind Sweetie Belle. How could he be so stupid?
- The class was uneventful and positively boring. Anon brushed a lock of purple hair out of his face as he tried to concentrate on the math quiz he was given. Sure, it had been years since he was in school, but he didn't remember the material being this hard, especially at this grade level.
- During the class recess, Anon didn't even notice he change in posture as he trotted along with Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom and Scootaloo. "Oh, I know! Maybe we could try to be Cutie Mark Message Board Posters!" Scootaloo said in excitement. "The town message board?" Apple bloom asked "Ah don't think people hang enugh papers over there to need someone to specifically look after it. Besahds, Ah got ta go home after school. Ah hav' ta help Apple Jack with ta apple harvest."
- "Well, I guess you do have a point." Scootaloo replied, "Besides, I was wanting to go watch Rainbow Dash practice her new moves today!" With that settled, Swetie Belle turned with a smile over to Anon. "I guess it's just you and me today, Anon!" She said cheerfully, "Why don't we head on over to Rarity's after we get out of school?" Anon couldn't help but agree.
- Back in class, Anon found himself having a hard time seeing the board; All these filly's heads were in the way. "Maybe I should ask Ms. Cheerilee about having a closer seat." He thought to himself. Thankfully the lessons soon came to an end and Anon found himself rushing out the door, giggling along side Sweetie Belle as they raced each other over to Carousel Boutique.
- The two quickly let themselves in, finding the shop empty once again. Sweetie Belle quickly suggested the two work on another crayon drawing, this time making sure to put down some news paper to help ensure there were no accidents like yesterday. This time, the both of them were eager to make something that Rarity would be impressed with.
- As the two of them worked together they soon realized something was missing. They had drawn the whole family this time: Mom, Dad, Rarity, Sweetie Belle and Anon, but something was just missing. "Oh, I know!" Anon exclaimed, "Doesn't Rarity keep some extra gems around here?" Anon began looking around, eventually coming back with a small box in his mouth. "I'm sure these can make it extra special!" Anon began gluing the gems to the paper. Sweetie Belle couldn't help feeling like history was repeating itself.
- Soon the two heard the familiar sound of the shop door opening and the sound of hoof steps as Rarity entered the back of the store. Eager to show off, Sweetie and Anon grabbed the drawing and ran to show Rarity.
- Her reaction, however, wasn't quite what they wanted.
- "My gems! My precious gems! Why would you do such a thing!? Now I'll have to get more!"
- Anon lowered his head. "I'm sorry Rarity, but I thought you wouldn't mind. These are so small and..."
- "Holy Belle, I've told the two of you time and again not to mess with anything in my shop!"
- "But Rarity, we just.." Sweetie Belle stammered.
- "No buts, I want you two to clean up the mess you've made and then sit in the kitchen while I go out for some replacements! And don't you even think about moving from that spot until I come back!"
- The two identical fillies lowered their head as they walked into the kitchen and took their places where they waited for what seemed like an eternity. Holy Belle couldn't help but think their sister was always so mean to them.
- Eventually the sound of the door opening sounded yet again, signaling Rarity's return. "Oh Sweetie Belle~! Holy Belle~! I'm back!" She chimed as she entered. As Rarity entered the room, she began to apologize to her two little sisters. "I- I'm sorry. When I saw what you two had actually spent your time making, I- well, I realized I probably sounded a bit harsh." Rarity turned to dig in her saddle bag and pulled out not the gems stones that she had left to get, but two cupcakes, one for each sister.
- As the two fillies smiled, Rarity wrapped them both in a hug. "I may be a little... difficult at times, but... you two will always be my darling little sisters."
- Discord turned off the tv and threw the remote on the couch. "Meh. Not as good as season one." he said in a bit of a disappointed tone before flipping through the TV Guide. "Hmm. Let's see... Next week is a Fluttershy episode! Oh, this should be fun!"
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