Brennon:
I didn't write much material for Brennon because he and Tucker are basically the same person. They're both, young, white, and date way out of their leagues. They both got their starts in the Call of Duty community and mentally never left. And they both made their careers by screaming into their microphones until some sorry 14-year-old uses their mom's credit card and subscribes. Gotta give them one thing, though, at least they didn't steal money from kids with some weird gambling scheme. Good job, you two.

Diction:
Now Diction. Oh hey, another member of the Loud Manbaby Club. Gangs all here. I've known Nick for a long time. He was the one who got me streaming on Twitch cause he said I was funny. Turns out that's just what he says to all the girls he's into. Nick is the founder of Fucked Up Friday, which is one of Twitch's longest running shows. If you're unfamiliar, we drink, we play games, Nick rambles about some obscure film until he inevitably passes out in his chair clinging to his cat. I've started wondering if I even get drunk on Fridays anymore or if my eyes just glaze over and I black out from sheer disinterest. And for the love of god, will you PLEASE change the angle of your webcam? It's like watching a drunk Snorlax but instead of children bouncing off your belly, it's just whiskey and tears.

Justin:
I'm actually a little nervous to roast Justin cause one wrong word and boom, channel banned. So I'm just going to show this picture of him because it really encompasses everything about Justin that I fucking hate. He's eating blueberries with chopsticks. Not because he's Asian, by the way, it's because he doesn't want to get his fingers dirty.

Tucker:
I've known Tucker for a long time. Sometimes I forget how long because I mix him up with all the other Call of Duty & CSGO YouTubers with expressive thumbnails and yellow text. They're all the fucking same, I promise. Tucker and I became friends recently when I moved to Los Angeles and started attending EDM shows. Like everything in his life, from private schools to music festivals, Tucker has been spoiled fucking rotten. He doesn't go to any show unless he's VIP or guest-listed. He gets bottle service and barely touches it. I'm guessing he just likes when the girls serve him drinks since he doesn't know how else to treat a woman except to throw money at her. This year at EDC, one of the biggest EDM festivals in the country, this motherfucker took a jet. Oh, don't forget to get those Ultraboosts in there too, otherwise people might think you're poor. Jokes aside, you really are one of the smartest and funniest dudes in this industry. Please keep letting me take advantage of your connections.