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- >Ah, Ponyville.
- >A wonderful little village.
- >The air is fresh!
- >The grass is green!
- >The water is crystal clear!
- >And the ponies!
- >Oh those adorable denizens of the aptly named Ponyville.
- >They welcomed you with open arms when you first arrived.
- >Well, open hooves rather.
- >Seemed to them that you weren't -that- strange a creature all things considered.
- >With things like dragons, minotaur's, and hydras running around and all an average human was downright boring.
- >So life was grand in tiny Ponyville, living a simple, honest life.
- >If not for one niggling problem....
- >You hadn't gotten laid since you came here.
- >And that was years ago.
- >YEARS!
- >Sure, jacking off kept your sanity in check, but god...
- >What you wouldn't give for something more.
- >Something other than old righty.
- >To -feel- that adrenaline in your veins when you pound your lover into bliss.
- >To -taste- that euphoria when you yourself hit orgasm.
- >It wasn't like dating you was out of the question, oh no, inter-species stuff was the norm.
- >But you just couldn't find the right mare...
- >And none had confessed to you...
- >But that was all going to change today!
- >You were through with fastening the chin strap on the helmet of love.
- >Today, you would get a mare!
- >Probably.
- >Maybe.
- >Weeeeell...
- >No! That's loser talk!
- >Still...this is kinda nerve-racking.
- >Trying to start a new relationship always is.
- >And who to pick besides!
- >There were so many pretty mares in Ponyville.
- >Like say, Lyra Heartstrings. Pretty little mint sweetie.
- >Or...oooh, Derpy Hooves. She was adorable. Klutzy as hell, but a cutie.
- >Maybe...one of the mares you were actually closer to?
- >That would be Twilight Sparkle and her gaggle of friends.
- >A garden of cute.
- >But gaaaaaaah, more choices...
- >There was Fluttershy, kinda, well, shy though...
- >Pinkie Pie's...a little too...energetic.
- >Oh, Rarity. Gorgeous, but a tad stuck-up.
- >Twilight wasn't bad. Straddles the line between sperglord and cute nerd, but real nice nonetheless.
- >Ol' Honest Applejack had that whole southern belle charm. And charming it was. Workaholic parts kind of a downer.
- >Wait... Wait, wait, wait...
- >You know -just- the mare.
- >Fiery.
- >Passionate
- >And an ass that won't quit.
- >Rainbow Dash.
- >But out of all the girls, besides Rarity, RD might be the hardest to catch the interest of.
- >So what to do, what to do...
- >Hmm, go over what you know about Speedy Cloud.
- >She's...fast, haughty, bit of a bragger, -loyal- to a fault, spontaneous...
- >Wait a minute.
- >Spontaneity.
- >Dashie would -love- spontaneity!
- >But in what capacity...?
- >...Got it.
- >Dashie would -love- this!
- >It would be just like those cheesy romance novels she thinks no one knows she reads!
- >You needed to prepare...
- >A costume, some rope...
- >This idea was brilliant!
- Later that day...
- >You were skulking in the shadows of Ponyville's homes and business, looking for...
- >Ah, there she is.
- >Lazing about on a cloud hovering over some secluded field.
- >God she's cute when she's all lazy.
- >Time to enact the spontaneity!
- >You creep closer and closer to the napping RD, being deadly careful not to be spotted.
- >That would ruin the whole she-bang!
- >You didn't spend hours making the costume for nothing.
- >You stand just beneath the cloud which holds the slumbering RD, smiling like a fool.
- >She was going to flip over this!
- >With a bit of finesse you start twirling the lasso you had at your hip.
- >Time to bring down the snoring pegasus...
- >The lasso flies from your hands and soars towards its target.
- >And with a quick snap you pull back, the rope tightening in on the sleeping pony.
- >Well, she was sleeping. When the rope snapped and constricted around her, she woke up with a start.
- >"Hey! Wha-what's goin' on?!"
- >With some speed you pull Dash and the cloud she was snoozing on down to the ground.
- "Hahahahahaha!"
- >You laugh manically. God, you were such a good actor.
- >RD twists her head around and sees you, her eyes the size of dinner plates.
- >You admit, the outfit is -good-.
- >You, uh, "borrowed" Twilight's old Mare-Do-Well hat and mask, lifted some boots and belt from Rarity's and had painted a huge "B" on your bare chest.
- >Or maybe RD was shocked because the hat, belt, and boots were the only articles of clothing you had on.
- >Kinda breezy today...
- >"What...the...buck...?"
- "I am... The Elusive Bun Bandit!"
- >Hopefully that explained the painted-on "B".
- ">...The Bun...Bandit?"
- "Correct! And -you-, Rainbow Dash... I have come to claim your buns!"
- >Man, just getting into the role was getting you hard.
- >Seriously.
- >You were like, at half-chub right about now.
- >Without waiting for RD to respond you lunged!
- >Well, lunged is kind of a strong word.
- >You definitely moved towards her enthusiastically though.
- >"W-Wait a minute! I--Ugh!"
- >The pegasus was cut-off when you grabbed a hold of the cyan cheeks of hers.
- >Those squishy, mushy blue buns...
- >Dashie squeaked and weakly groaned as you kneaded her cheeks.
- >They were...
- >Glorious.
- >Taught, but not too much. Just the perfect amount of jiggle. And her fur was like fine silk, smooth and welcoming.
- >Your hands were in heaven.
- >True heaven...
- >You playfully kneaded and gave her light slaps across the back-end.
- >Each time you did it elicited another weak moan or squeak of pleasure from Dash.
- >Her wings so badly wanted to be let loose from the rope confines, but you made sure it held tight.
- >Didn't want her flying away.
- >You briefly pulled yourself from the bliss of Dashie's blue buns and glanced downwards when you felt something wet splash on your thigh.
- >It was...Dash.
- >She was getting wet.
- >Really wet.
- >...Yes!
- >You knew this would work!
- >With renewed fervor you attack Dashie's butt-cheeks.
- >Knead, jiggle, slap, a light kiss here, a rough grope there...
- >You were loving it.
- >And by the amount of fluids leaking from Dash, she was enjoying it to.
- >Initiate Phase 2.
- >You're sporting quite the raging erection at this point so it was time to partake in your...kink.
- >At least you called it a kink, didn't know what else to call it.
- >Didn't really matter though.
- >This was gonna be fun...
- >You stopped your kneading assault, which earned you a whimper from Dash, and proceeded to spread her heavenly cheeks.
- >What a sight...
- >That glistening pussy, that puckered plothole...
- >B-e-a-utiful.
- >RD weakly, and not wholeheartedly, tried to cover herself, but she ended up giving up and blushing a shade of red that looked quite good on her.
- >You traced a trail from Dash's wet snatch to her winking asshole using her own sex-juices.
- >She huffed and panted into the cloud she was on and worked a hoof to her nethers, playing with her clit with vigor.
- >You almost popped right then and there.
- >But you held out and coated your hard-on with Dash's juices, then you slid it between Dashie's ass-cheeks.
- >Your kink...was hotdogging.
- >Squeezing those godlike buns closer together, you made a tight fit for your member.
- >With a shuddering breathe you started slow, a simple, gentle thrust.
- >The sheer pleasure...
- >The way her fur rubbed against your shaft and just subtly tickled your balls was unlike anything you ever expected.
- >Bliss.
- >Unearthly bliss.
- >"Oh my gosh... I-I've never done -this- before..."
- >Dash croaked out a response with a doofy smile plastered to her face.
- >You started you thrusting in earnest.
- >Your thighs slapping against Dashie's bodacious behind...
- >The warmth coming from her body and especially her asshole...
- >Her slick fluids forming a puddle underneath the cloud she writhed on...
- >You could die right now and it would be without regret.
- >"Mmmm! I-I'm...gonna come! Gonna cum!"
- >A torrent of white-hot mare-spunk splashed against your thighs and legs as RD came long and hard.
- >She babbled incoherently, twitched and spasmed, as her orgasm rode its course.
- >But you weren't even close to finishing yet.
- >However, you gave Dashie's a little rest. You only pound a -little- less hard.
- >"That was... Oh my gosh. I've never came that hard before..."
- "It's not over yet! The Elusive Bun Bandit has claimed -his- prize yet!"
- ">Wha-what?"
- >You began slamming away again, and Dash threw her head back and moaned in utter pleasure.
- >Just what you wanted to hear.
- >You don't know how long you've been slamming away at Rainbow Dash pert posterior, but finally, you were getting close.
- >Dashie was probably thankful for that. Both of you had lost track of how many orgasm she had as the sun shone overhead.
- "Dash, I'm...I'm..."
- >Almost there, just a little more and--
- >"C-Cum for me!"
- >She said the magic word.
- >Could have said it enough.
- >With a grunt of effort and delight, thick, white streams of semen rocketed from between Dash's sweat-sheen booty-boulders.
- >Gasping and panting, you continued to ejaculate like it would be the last one you would ever have.
- >Strands of cum coated RD's heaving back and drooping wings.
- >Pulling out from her buns, still cumming, you gave her cheeks a glaze as she had one last powerful orgasm.
- >Finally spent you fell backwards, falling on your own backend. The rope around the pegasus coming loose and dropping to the side.
- >You heaved and gasped for air.
- >Shakily you stood up and looked over Dash.
- >Her tongue was lolled out of her head and she was licking her hoof clean of her own juices.
- >She weakly lifted a wing to her mouth and caught a drop of you semen as it fell from a feather.
- >"Mmmm..."
- "Th-The Elusive B-Bun Bandit has-whew, give me a second-has claimed his prize! Now he...aways!"
- >With a piddly smoke bomb, you run away, leaving Dashie coughing and sputtering.
- >"H-Hold on! I... He's gone..."
- >You raced home as quickly as possible, bathing in the afterglow of a masterful plan.
- >You couldn't wait to see the look on RD's face when you revealed that -you- were the Bandit.
- >She'd be floored!
- >You hoped she liked the whole spiel you went though to impress her.
- That next day...
- >What a day! Gorgeous, like most days in Ponyville.
- >You'd let Dashie in on your little secret today.
- >Your excitement was barely being contained.
- >You strode confidently through the Square, giving the wink and the gun to many a pony.
- >Till finally you were at your destination: Rainbow Dash's cloud home.
- >Nice place.
- >Not that you've ever been in it, it being clouds and all.
- "Hey! Rainbow Dash! You home?"
- >You call out and wait for a response.
- >You get one Dashie, that cutie, sticks her head out a window.
- >"O-Oh. Hey, Anon. W-What are you up to?"
- "Ah, not much. Come on down here, I got somethin' to tell ya."
- >"Um... O-kay, I'll be right down!"
- >And sure enough, the prism pegasus is down in a flash.
- >She looks...odd though.
- >Her face is flushed and she fidgeting in place.
- "Are...you ok, RD?"
- >"I-I'm fine. What did you need to tell me?"
- >And here we go...
- "Heheh. well, I'm going to inform you that I'm--"
- >"The Elusive Bun Bandit?"
- >FULL STOP.
- "W-W-W-Wha?! How-how-how-how did you know?!"
- >How could she know?! The plan was perfect, utterly perfect!
- >"Uh, Anon, you do know you're the only human in Equestria, right? I mean...wasn't hard to figure out..."
- >Where was your analytical mind! To make such a mistake!
- >"Um, Anon?"
- >You were trying to fight back the tears when Dash chimed in.
- "Y-Yeah? What is it?"
- >Somewhat bashfully, RD hovered towards you and gave you a peck on the lips.
- >"I...didn't know you felt like -that- about me... I...like you too, ya big ape."
- >The world no longer makes since.
- "You...do?"
- >"Yeah. I just...never knew how to tell you. And really, that stunt yesterday... Man, you're all kinds of awesome. I tried to talk to you afterwards, but you ran off."
- >The whole time she knew...
- >"Sooo...you wanna go again? Maybe as...boyfriend and girlfriend? There's a nice sunny field I know of not to far from here."
- >She gives you a knowing, sarcastic smirk and trots past you, flicking your nose with the tip of her tail.
- >You give her a big, stupid grin right back and follow after her.
- >"I think...we should stop by your place and get the rope first though."
- >Dashie waggles her eyebrows and takes off towards your place.
- >You laugh heartily and give chase after her.
- "The Elusive Bun Bandit is about to strike again..."
- FIN
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