rando thoughts.

The Aria of Sorrow randomizer has put me in a particularly frustrating position as a speedrunner of the game. It's quite frustrating to feel like all our efforts in a game get ignored but people playing a hacked version gets a ton of attention. I know there's more factors to it than that and that these thoughts are pretty damn selfish but it's just how I feel. I've been trying to break out of these feelings but it's just the shitty mindset I'm in because of this. The weird thing is I don't really care too much about viewers/attention when it comes to speedrunning (I hardly stream as is), but this really irks me. I feel shitty for having these feelings too and it just gets me caught in a cycle. I want to keep working on optimizing and running Aria but there have been some times in the past couple of weeks when I feel like there's no point because everyone will play the randomizer. This pastebin has been really dumb but I really like Aria of Sorrow and I get emotional over this stuff. Sorry if this is incoherent.