HOPELESS SITUATION RETURN: SCENE 15: A BEAR'S FAVOUR

Mr. Thoreau and Drag Along are waiting with at least part of the rest of the squad. Suddenly, Blow the Skin informs them that they got company.

(R2-D2 voice)

	BLOW THE SKIN: General solo, manned arrival.

(CHEWIE flexible growth)

Fortunately, it turns out to just be The Gospel of Luke.

	BLOW THE SKIN: Oh!

Mr. Thoreau is overjoyed to see his friend again...

	MR. THOREAU: Rokatsu!

(CHEWIE GROWLS)

... before wondering where Leah is.

	MR. THOREAU: Leia resident?

	THE GOSPEL OF LUKE: Are you in a hurry?

Mr. Thoreau is starting to get stressed out, reiterating The Gospel's message.

	MR. THOREAU: I'm afraid I'm in a hurry.

The Gospel of Luke now starts getting somewhat worried as well, and decides to do something about the situation.

	THE GOSPEL OF LUKE: Completed for myself. My best demise.

Mr. Thoreau wastes no time and starts instructing his crew. The Gospel of Luke joins in, adressing his faithful robot companion.

	MR. THOREAU: General platoon advance. Press conference. Currently 0300 everywhere everywhere.

	THE GOSPEL OF LUKE: , R2 Gaza. We need your scanner.

(R2-D2 voice)

Blow the Skin tries to sound optimistic...

	BLOW THE SKIN: Besshoshin, Roh Katsura Daishi. I'm Chimichi.

(CHEWIE GROWLS)

... but also isn't afraid to give R2 a potshot.

	BLOW THE SKIN: You said that here is very, very, very old, very old, very old

(Whistling)

Princess Leah is still unconscious. She is approached by a small, ursine creature, who pokes at her with his spear.

	WICKET: ek! ek!

Being awoken by a small, armed teddy bear on a forest planet occupied by the Empire mostly just makes Leah annoyed.

	PRINCESS LEAH: Cut off!

(EWOK GROWLS)

(SIGHS)

(GRUNTS)

Princess Leah rises up, still sore. Wicket the Ewok is still vary and confused by her.

	WICKET: Success and popularity in Virginia! Yeah, yeah!

	PRINCESS LEAH: I'm injured and injured ... oh.

	WICKET: Teeth!

She sits down on a big log and starts pondering out aloud. [Disclaimer: It is of upmost importance that you do not make this scene the least bit sexual.]

	PRINCESS LEAH: I look forward to good ass stuck here. Asahi, I don't know what to do. I can do it.

Princess Leah gestures to the teddy bear to come and join her.

	PRINCESS LEAH: Good luck. Sitting down.

[Viewers who haven't seen Return of the Jedi may still find this somewhat surreal, but I can assure you that this is not one of those memes you can find on Reddit which inserts Paddington into random movies.
This is all straight from the real film.]

Leah assures Wicket that he has nothing to worry about.

	PRINCESS LEAH: Injury to my family. Currently coming.

	WICKET: No, GRRRR!

	PRINCESS LEAH: Favorable. Do you prefer east west?

Princess Leah takes out a cookie. Wicket is still vary at first, but then gets more curious.

	WICKET: Hachimachi. (Edelweiss)

Wicket starts to relax and lowers his weapon. Princess Leah takes a bite out of the cookie herself before giving the Ewok the rest.

	PRINCESS LEAH: Crawl accurate. Good luck. Huh?

(SNIFFLES)

	WICKET: All right, Barfi.

Princess Leah starts taking off her helmet. Wicket panics, jumps back and raises his spear, possibly thinking that she's some form of mimic. Leah tries to calm her new friend down, showing him that it's just a hat.

	WICKET: Yes! So ...

	PRINCESS LEAH: Watch. Crawling top hat. Injury-like. Watch.

	WICKET: Arrrr. Or a little less.

	PRINCESS LEAH: You are shaking your little guy is not?

Wherever this conversation was going, it is interrupted by Wicket hearing a strange noise, which startles him. Princess Leah is also concerned.

	WICKET: Yeah?!

	PRINCESS LEAH: Others?

	WICKET: O you who believe! Kiati! A good Foundry!

(SCREAMS)

(GASPS)

The pair are surprised by a sudden laser blast. They both quickly roll for cover behind the tree trunk.

	WICKET: Like Annie!

Another laser bolt hits the tree. Wicket rolls under it and seaks away.

	WICKET: For example, this is with you! Looking for a job!

Princess Leah is frightened by the sudden appearance of a Biker Scout.

	SC ER OUTTROOP: Stop!

	PRINCESS LEAH: (Now)

	SC ER OUTTROOP: Come on!. Wake up!.

However, Wicket is hiding nearby in the bushes, ready to make his move.

	WICKET: (Moaning)

Another Scout Trooper appears: His commander wastes no time to give him instructions.

	SC ER OUTTROOP: R.At the base.

	SC ER OUTTROOP 2: Yes, sir.

	WICKET: Ears!

Wicket hits the Biker Scout's leg, disctracting him enoungh for Princess Leah to knock him out.

	SC ER OUTTROOP: Excuse me?..

 She grabs her gun and shoots the other Scout before he can escape on his speeder.

(What noise?)

	WICKET: It's a car! It's the ass!

	PRINCESS LEAH: Good luck. Let us harrow in.

	WICKET: Nest-nest,Higuain. Yeah, yeah.

The two of them leave the area, with Wicket leading the way.

END OF SCENE 15.