[Hanako] Seeing Past

Hanako Rewrite
Seeing Past

"H-Hisao..." Hanako began while I stood in her room. My heart was beating a little harder than I anticipated it would. She and I were standing alone in her room after she had asked me to lock her door. I wasn't sure what was about to happen here.

She began undoing her blouse with softly shaking hands. And my heart began beating faster. She turned her back to me, showing me the scars covering her body. "Y-You... showed me your scars and I wanted to d-do the same." Her voice was trembling a little. She had probably never opened up willingly like this to anyone before and she had chosen me to be the first.

The scars ran down the side of her body as she lowered her clothes so that I could see everything. My breath caught in my throat. This was the girl I had so many feelings for and now she was baring everything she was for me to see. Her burden, the weight she carried with her all the time.

I realized that she wasn't looking for someone to help her carry it, she was just asking me to accept her for it. All the discussions I had with Lilly, the things I had slowly started to glean from Hanako on my own, it was all beginning to make sense right here, right now. She turned to me, having let all of her clothes fall to the floor, only wearing her leggings and a black bra.

"I... when L-Lilly and I became friends, she asked if she could t-touch my face, see what I looked like. I n-never let her, because I was a-afraid of what she'd think if s-she could see me in her head. I've always hid my scars f-from people, but for y-you, I feel like you s-should see everything I am." Her eyes were watering and I could detect a hint of shame in her tone.

I moved forward, placing my hand on her left cheek, touching the scars that she was so ashamed of. The scars that marked the fact that her family had died to protect her. The thing that made her feel like she shouldn't exist and made her a pariah in the eyes of the public outside of Yamaku. Sometimes even within this haven for people like us. She flinched a little, but settled as I lifted the bangs that covered her face.

"I'm really glad you're doing this for me. There's something I want you to know, though." I began, trying to think through my words carefully before I spoke them. "Y-yeah?" Her hand reached up to mine, resting on the lower part of my hand. Her skin was so warm to the touch, it made me want to hold her close.

I smiled for her. "When I look at you, I don't see the scars. Sure, they're there, but that's not what I see. You're beautiful. A beautiful person, a caring one who has been scared of the world for so long because of what they think or see when they look at you and see the scars, not you. You don't need to be scared of me. I..." But I couldn't finish my sentence.

Hanako had threw herself forward, wrapping her arms around me and kissing me deeply, although awkwardly. Tears escaped her eyes and her body shook at little. But she wasn't sad, the smile on her face said otherwise. "Hisao... H-Hisao..." She didn't know how to form her feelings into words, so she kissed me again instead, which I returned, drawing her closer to my body.

Although I was just content with the embraces and her passionate kissing, she started walking backwards and drawing me towards the bed. "Hanako... are you-?" But she quickly fell backwards, which I wasn't expecting and I fell on top of her. I pulled my head back and she smiled. "I w-want to. Y-you're the..." She couldn't seem to contain herself for the length of a sentence and kissed me again. "...only person I've f-felt comfortable around and th-the only one who has r-really accepted me. That's a-all I've ever r-really wanted."

Despite being so shy, the amount of happiness I had given her was causing her to become unusually forward. Although out of the ordinary, I found it adorable because she had no idea what she was doing and fumbled pretty often, sometimes missing my lips halfway or shuddering a sigh into my mouth as we locked lips.

I wanted to as much as she did. All these confusing feelings, all the unsureness of what we were to each other... it was all fading away today. And what we were doing was cementing who we were to each other and how important we were to one another. I reached underneath her back, kissing her shoulder and up to her neck, causing a soft moan to escape her as I tried to undo her bra.

Unfortunately, we were both new to this whole thing so I didn't have a lot of experience in undoing bras. She giggled a little at me and gave me that unassuming smile that could probably stop a tank column dead in their tracks. "Sorry." I gave her an abashed smile and she wrapped her arms around my neck.

"D-don't be." I climbed off of her, beginning to remove my own shirt. She pressed me to the bed. "H-hey!" She as I had only unbuttoning the first few buttons of my shirt. "I-I want to d-do that..." She said softly and I could only smile at her newfound bravado. After removing her bra, leggings and panties, she began removing my shirt. Once my shirt was off, she laid her head against my chest for a moment.

"B-before we d-d-do it... can we stay l-like this for a little?" She asked, her ear pressed to my heart. I held her close to me, nodding. "Of course." She laid against me, naked, the only thing still on my body being my pants and shorts underneath. I wrapped my arms around her, the only sounds of the room for a long time being our own breaths.

I was the first to break the silence. "Hanako." I said quietly. "Y-yeah?" I played with her hair a little, to which I could see a soft smile spreading on her face. Hanako's ear was pressed to my chest and was listening to my heartbeat. "That heart is beating for you, you know." Hanako buried her face against my chest, trying to hide her embarassment and after a few more minutes, she spoke.

"I-I think I'm r-ready now." She said after a little while. "No rush." I encouraged her. She was always so self-conscious, even if she felt comfortable around me, the concept of sex was probably a bit daunting to her. Hanako reached to my pants, undoing the button and grabbing hold of the zipper, slowly undoing it.

She flinched a little at the sound, being so harsh against the silence and heavy breathing between to two of us. She gave a small giggle at herself, pulling off my pants and softly taking hold of my penis. Hanako looked a bit apprenhensive as she positioned herself atop it, slowly lowering her hips down onto it.

With a slight yelp from Hanako, I entered her. Already, I let go a sharp sigh. Honestly? I wasn't expecting the senation that I was presented with as I sunk into her. Sure, I had known what it was like from talking to my friends in my old school, but the actual sensation was much stronger than I could've anticipated.

Hanako seemed to be losing track of herself too, the sensation of myself being inside of her causing her eyes to lose focus and her expression to slack into one of pleasure.

I rested my hands on her hips, not forcing or guiding her. Just reminding her I was here and that I was always going to be here for her. My hands roamed up and down her sides slowly, affectionately, as she seemed to snap back to where we were and what we were doing. "You alright...? Doesn't hurt too much, does it?" I was a little concerned. Her lips were drawn tight so I imagined the pleasure was mixed with a bit of pain.

"I-it kind of d-does. But it's f-fine, I don't want to stop." She said, leaning forward a little and resting her hands on my abdomen for support and leverage. Awkwardly, unknowing of the proper motions, she rocked her hips back and forth, her breaths becoming heavier. Soon the rhythm of her movements becoming more fluid instead of jagged and unsure.

The sensations I was experiencing was hard to contain and were overwhelming. Not just the physical stimulation, but the sight of Hanako arching her back and the look of happiness on her face was almost too much for me to handle. But I didn't want it to end just yet. Hanako's hands left my stomach where she was leaning on them for support and better leverage for her movements and took my hands in hers.

"H-Hisao..." She whispered as she leaned forward and kissed me, not stopping the movements for a moment. We broke from the kiss and her movements became more forceful and faster as she settled into it and her pain subsided. Our voices became louder as our love making reached a climax and eventually Hanako let out a high pitched yelp that eventually tapered off into an exhalation of bliss. I had resisted climax until that very moment, the expression of complete release, enjoyment and contentedness threw me over the edge.

Hanako leaned forward, placing her head underneath my chin. We were both breathing like we had run a marathon and surprisingly, my heart had stood regular the entire time. Although it was beating harder enough for it to hurt a little.

We still hadn't separated. In my mind, the fog was beginning to clear and I started thinking about what it was that we had just done. Sure, we had sex. But it felt more than just that. 'Love-making' wasn't enough to describe it, either.

It was like a promise, a show of trust and acceptance in one another. We had both bared our secrets, our pasts, our scars. We had accepted each other for our flaws and shortcomings and we had come together as more than just a couple. This wasn't lust nor was this just puppy love that elevated into something else on accident.

I wrapped my arms around her, this moment being one I wanted to last for as long as possible. We were both physically exhausted and emotionally exhausted after the recent days and this sudden happening. I was tired and so was she. But before she fell asleep, I needed to tell her something.

"Hey, Hanako?" The most blatant segue into what I wanted to say, but it was okay. I could feel Hanako smiling against my bare chest, her ear against the scar on my chest again. "Yeah, Hisao?" Her voice was completely calm and at ease.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Hisao." She lifted her head, kissing me quickly before sighing happily. That phrase were words that we had both kept trapped in our heads, I was sure. It was a relief to me and I'm sure to her that it was finally out in the open and there were no more obstacles. She took a leap of faith in showing me her scars and opening up to me and I made sure to catch her.

I pulled her close and tight, feeling incredibly drained. It wouldn't be long before I fell asleep and the sleepy tone in Hanako's voice told me the same was true for her.

"B-but, I think we should use a condom next time."

"Heh, yeah, we should."

~/end