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- 1
- 00:00:30,120 --> 00:00:32,361
- (PEOPLE SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
- 2
- 00:00:41,360 --> 00:00:43,089
- STAGE MANAGER:
- Okay stand by everyone.
- 3
- 00:00:44,120 --> 00:00:47,841
- WOMAN: Five, four, three, two...
- 4
- 00:00:49,960 --> 00:00:53,407
- At 52 minutes past the hour
- on this Thursday morning, welcome back.
- 5
- 00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:56,691
- Joining me now is author Bill Bryson.
- 6
- 00:00:57,240 --> 00:00:59,288
- So, travel writing.
- 7
- 00:01:01,400 --> 00:01:02,811
- -I'm sorry, is that a question?
- -(CHUCKLES)
- 8
- 00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:06,290
- Noel Coward once said,
- "Why do the wrong people travel,
- 9
- 00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:08,169
- "and the right people stay at home?"
- 10
- 00:01:08,640 --> 00:01:09,926
- (BRYSON scoFFs)
- 11
- 00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:13,402
- Now, tell us about this
- Collector's Edition Box Set.
- 12
- 00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:16,969
- "An elegant reissue of old favorites."
- (CHUCKLES)
- 13
- 00:01:17,720 --> 00:01:18,881
- Riveting stuff.
- 14
- 00:01:19,360 --> 00:01:23,809
- Now, in your books, you've written
- about Europe, Australia, the British Isles.
- 15
- 00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:25,485
- You actually lived there briefly.
- 16
- 00:01:25,840 --> 00:01:27,330
- Briefly. 10 years.
- 17
- 00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:28,841
- Mmm, but never America.
- 18
- 00:01:29,320 --> 00:01:31,368
- You've never written
- about your home country.
- 19
- 00:01:31,440 --> 00:01:35,001
- -No, that's not exactly right...
- -Why? Why nothing more personal?
- 20
- 00:01:37,040 --> 00:01:40,806
- I see. So you've moved back,
- or is that just temporary?
- 21
- 00:01:41,360 --> 00:01:46,366
- No. Yes. (STAMMERING) My family,
- we moved back. To New Hampshire.
- 22
- 00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:51,441
- Twenty years ago. And... And we're still here.
- 23
- 00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:54,769
- "Still"? Interesting choice of words.
- 24
- 00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:58,121
- Uh, what else are you working on?
- Are you writing something new?
- 25
- 00:01:58,200 --> 00:01:59,281
- No.
- 26
- 00:01:59,440 --> 00:02:01,283
- Not thinking of retiring on us, are you?
- 27
- 00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:02,965
- (CHUCKLING) No, writers don't retire.
- 28
- 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:06,044
- We either drink ourselves to death
- or blow our brains out.
- 29
- 00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:07,966
- And which will it be for you?
- 30
- 00:02:08,480 --> 00:02:10,164
- After this interview, maybe both.
- 31
- 00:02:10,640 --> 00:02:11,641
- (CHUCKLES)
- 32
- 00:02:11,720 --> 00:02:14,883
- -Bill Bryson, pleasure to have you with us.
- -Ah. Thank you.
- 33
- 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:34,923
- (\/IDEO GAME PLAYING)
- 34
- 00:02:38,920 --> 00:02:40,285
- CHILD; om (LAuGHING)
- 35
- 00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:42,729
- (\/ACuulvl vvHIRRING)
- 36
- 00:02:45,760 --> 00:02:48,684
- -Oh. Hello, stranger.
- -BRYSON: Hello, yourself.
- 37
- 00:02:49,240 --> 00:02:50,446
- How'd it go?
- 38
- 00:02:50,840 --> 00:02:51,921
- -You saw?
- -IVlmm-hmm.
- 39
- 00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:54,845
- -That good, huh?
- -Hey, Gramps_
- 40
- 00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:57,043
- -Hi.
- -I saw, too.
- 41
- 00:02:57,280 --> 00:02:59,282
- -Oh, yeah? How'd I look?
- -Do you want my honest answer?
- 42
- 00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:01,401
- Never mind.
- 43
- 00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:05,127
- -Gramps, I made it to level six.
- -Level six? Way to go.
- 44
- 00:03:05,280 --> 00:03:06,850
- Did you get my message
- about Earl McGregor?
- 45
- 00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:08,765
- Services are on Saturday morning.
- 46
- 00:03:08,880 --> 00:03:10,006
- Can't we just send flowers?
- 47
- 00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:12,006
- We could.
- 48
- 00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:16,691
- You two, hands washed,
- dinner's nearly ready. Let's go.
- 49
- 00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:22,205
- (WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY)
- 50
- 00:03:32,920 --> 00:03:34,968
- (BRYSON slGHING)
- 51
- 00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:40,726
- Makes you think about slowing down,
- doesn't it?
- 52
- 00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:48,807
- I'm so, so sorry. My condolences.
- 53
- 00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:52,286
- Deborah, we're so sorry.
- 54
- 00:03:52,360 --> 00:03:55,921
- Thank you so much for being here.
- It really means a lot to me.
- 55
- 00:03:56,960 --> 00:03:58,041
- It's our pleasure.
- 56
- 00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:03,242
- Uh, I mean, not our...
- (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) Pardon me.
- 57
- 00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:06,688
- Uh, I mean, it's, uh, not a pleasant time,
- 58
- 00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:10,684
- -and it's not a time...
- -No, we're just very sorry.
- 59
- 00:04:11,080 --> 00:04:12,764
- -We're very sorry.
- -We're very sorry.
- 60
- 00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:19,481
- -I'll get my jacket.
- -We just got here.
- 61
- 00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:23,370
- What? We've already paid our respects.
- I mean, what else are we supposed to do?
- 62
- 00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:25,681
- Talk to people. It's good for you.
- 63
- 00:04:26,920 --> 00:04:28,729
- I don't like talking to people.
- 64
- 00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:30,681
- Go on.
- 65
- 00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:33,762
- -How are you? How good to see you.
- -(SIGHING)
- 66
- 00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:54,051
- I'm gonna go for a walk.
- 67
- 00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:55,567
- Okay.
- 68
- 00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:10,084
- (CLEARS THROAT)
- 69
- 00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:56,210
- (CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
- 70
- 00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:16,844
- (CHUCKLES)
- 71
- 00:06:20,440 --> 00:06:22,408
- (FAINT HAMMERING)
- 72
- 00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:30,526
- CATHERINE: What On earth?
- 73
- 00:06:32,680 --> 00:06:34,569
- -You want to hike it?
- -Yes.
- 74
- 00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:36,481
- CATHERINE: Two thousand miles.
- 75
- 00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:38,887
- 2118, actually.
- 76
- 00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:41,528
- No. You can't.
- 77
- 00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:44,726
- Why not?
- 78
- 00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:48,521
- Seriously, Bill.
- Even for you this is ridiculous.
- 79
- 00:06:48,920 --> 00:06:50,922
- (CHUCKLING) Why?
- Because you think I'm too old?
- 80
- 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:53,844
- No, it's not because I think you're too old,
- it's because you are too old.
- 81
- 00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:56,331
- (CHUCKLES)
- 82
- 00:06:56,800 --> 00:06:58,643
- Oh, God, is this because of the funeral?
- 83
- 00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:00,450
- -No.
- -What then?
- 84
- 00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:02,487
- Listen, I can't explain it.
- 85
- 00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:04,241
- Have a go.
- 86
- 00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:07,328
- It's just something I feel I have to do.
- 87
- 00:07:08,240 --> 00:07:11,210
- I want to explore nature.
- I want to get back to my roots.
- 88
- 00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:15,324
- -Roots?
- -Yeah. You know, push myself.
- 89
- 00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:17,244
- I mean, really, really hike.
- 90
- 00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:18,607
- (CHUCKLES)
- 91
- 00:07:18,680 --> 00:07:22,526
- Hike? You haven't hiked in 30 years.
- 92
- 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:25,207
- -BRYSON: Exactly.
- -Can't you just do this in the Volvo?
- 93
- 00:07:25,440 --> 00:07:26,521
- Catherine.
- 94
- 00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:29,291
- What if I say you can't go?
- 95
- 00:07:29,680 --> 00:07:32,763
- Well, if you felt that way
- then we would discuss it.
- 96
- 00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:35,804
- You mean I'll yammer on
- and you'll nod away,
- 97
- 00:07:35,880 --> 00:07:38,611
- and then you'll go ahead and do whatever
- you were going to do anyway
- 98
- 00:07:38,680 --> 00:07:40,364
- without having heard a word I've said.
- 99
- 00:07:41,320 --> 00:07:42,526
- (slGHING)
- 100
- 00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:44,409
- -What?
- -(CHUCKLING)
- 101
- 00:07:44,480 --> 00:07:45,925
- Am I just supposed to stand here
- 102
- 00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:48,970
- and accept these obvious signs
- that you have gone mad?
- 103
- 00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:52,241
- It's my old pup tent. What do you think?
- 104
- 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:57,691
- Well, I think it's the perfect place
- for you to spend the night.
- 105
- 00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:03,523
- SAIVI: You realize we all think
- this is a terrible idea, right?
- 106
- 00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:05,125
- BRYSON: It's certainly been brought
- to my attention.
- 107
- 00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:07,282
- -SAM: But you're still going to do it?
- -Yes.
- 108
- 00:08:08,360 --> 00:08:10,044
- (SAM CHUCKLING)
- 109
- 00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:14,240
- It's just kinda insane, Dad.
- The whole thing, at your age?
- 110
- 00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:17,206
- Fit people in their 20's can't do it, Dad.
- 111
- 00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:19,442
- It takes five months and five millions steps.
- 112
- 00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:20,801
- -Of walking.
- -Yes.
- 113
- 00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:22,370
- I've been doing it for a while, you know.
- 114
- 00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:24,490
- Dad, hiking is not walking.
- 115
- 00:08:24,560 --> 00:08:27,530
- Two thousand people a year try to do this.
- Less than 10% make it.
- 116
- 00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:31,169
- You ought to see the statistics
- on how many people finish writing a book.
- 117
- 00:08:31,280 --> 00:08:33,806
- (SIGHS) There's somebody
- I want you to meet. All right?
- 118
- 00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:35,246
- Hey, Dave.
- 119
- 00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:37,007
- How's it going?
- 120
- 00:08:37,120 --> 00:08:38,167
- This is Dave.
- 121
- 00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:39,407
- -Dave.
- -Hello.
- 122
- 00:08:39,480 --> 00:08:41,209
- He has hiked everywhere
- 123
- 00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:43,521
- He can answer any question
- you have about anything.
- 124
- 00:08:44,280 --> 00:08:47,124
- Okay. Can he tell me
- why the caged bird sings?
- 125
- 00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:51,764
- Can you give us just a second? And can I?
- 126
- 00:08:54,040 --> 00:08:56,646
- Can we keep a lid on the jokes, please?
- 127
- 00:08:57,080 --> 00:08:59,162
- Pay attention while he's talking,
- 128
- 00:08:59,280 --> 00:09:00,884
- and don't say,
- "You've got to be shitting me"
- 129
- 00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:02,121
- when he tells you the price of something.
- 130
- 00:09:02,200 --> 00:09:05,044
- Sam, you act like I've never camped before.
- 131
- 00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:06,486
- A tent is a tent.
- 132
- 00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:11,688
- This also has a 70 denier,
- high-density, abrasion-resistant fly
- 133
- 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:13,330
- with that same rip stop weave.
- 134
- 00:09:14,040 --> 00:09:15,405
- And just look at these seams.
- 135
- 00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:19,529
- All lap-felled.
- No bias taping on the whole tent.
- 136
- 00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:23,805
- And the poles. Color-coded, DAC aluminum.
- 137
- 00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:26,442
- It's the finest craftsmanship.
- 138
- 00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:31,648
- Yeah, I've carried this one
- on several sections of the trail myself.
- 139
- 00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:36,282
- For your purposes,
- cannot go wrong with this monster.
- 140
- 00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:38,840
- All right, how much is it?
- 141
- 00:09:38,920 --> 00:09:41,366
- This one here is 289.
- 142
- 00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:45,283
- You've got to be shitting... Oh, okay.
- 143
- 00:09:45,560 --> 00:09:49,042
- I see what you're thinking,
- but out on the trail, you're gonna thank me.
- 144
- 00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:50,446
- Are you coming?
- 145
- 00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:52,964
- You'll need a rain cover too, of course.
- 146
- 00:09:53,040 --> 00:09:55,725
- -A rain cover? Why?
- -To keep out the rain.
- 147
- 00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:59,009
- -The backpacks aren't waterproof?
- -Not 'I 00%.
- 148
- 00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:02,289
- The rain cover weighs four point six ounces.
- 149
- 00:10:02,360 --> 00:10:05,682
- You know how much weight it would add
- to fully waterproof an 85-liter pack?
- 150
- 00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:08,642
- Well, I'll tell you. (CHUCKLES) It's a lot.
- 151
- 00:10:09,680 --> 00:10:11,364
- Let's not forget...
- 152
- 00:10:12,480 --> 00:10:15,529
- Oh, let me guess, in case you want
- to do a little impromptu gardening?
- 153
- 00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:19,281
- No. You know the saying,
- "Take only memories, leave only footprints."
- 154
- 00:10:21,920 --> 00:10:23,046
- Poop.
- 155
- 00:10:23,560 --> 00:10:25,210
- (LAUGHS)
- 156
- 00:10:25,520 --> 00:10:27,682
- -Oh, shit.
- -Exactly.
- 157
- 00:10:43,160 --> 00:10:45,766
- CATHERINE:
- Thought you'd End these interesting-
- 158
- 00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:51,288
- A Virginia man's remains
- left undiscovered for 18 days
- 159
- 00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:54,170
- after he suffers
- a catastrophic medical condition
- 160
- 00:10:54,240 --> 00:10:56,686
- just one week into his solo trek.
- 161
- 00:10:57,400 --> 00:11:02,645
- Most commonly spread through
- infected rodent saliva, urine, and feces,
- 162
- 00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:04,444
- which become airborne particles...
- 163
- 00:11:04,760 --> 00:11:08,606
- Several law enforcement personnel
- have expressed concern
- 164
- 00:11:08,680 --> 00:11:11,331
- about the gruesome nature
- of these latest murders,
- 165
- 00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:14,410
- including dismemberment
- and ritualistic savageiy.
- 166
- 00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:17,561
- You are not doing this alone.
- 167
- 00:11:17,800 --> 00:11:18,926
- BRYSON: This is Bryson.
- 168
- 00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:23,162
- How would you like to join me
- for a little stroll?
- 169
- 00:11:23,560 --> 00:11:27,087
- It's a chance to grab some fresh air,
- while there's still some left.
- 170
- 00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:30,889
- You know, studies show
- Americans need to walk more.
- 171
- 00:11:31,360 --> 00:11:33,249
- Our forefathers, they walked everywhere.
- 172
- 00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:35,768
- It'll give you something to do
- for the next six months.
- 173
- 00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:38,649
- Let me know if you're interested.
- 174
- 00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:42,367
- CATHERINE: Rabies, crazed skunks,
- raccoons, and squirrels,
- 175
- 00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:44,568
- merciless Ere ants, and ravening blackfly.
- 176
- 00:11:44,680 --> 00:11:46,682
- Poison ivy poison sumac, poison oak,
- 177
- 00:11:46,760 --> 00:11:48,410
- poison salamanders,
- even a scattering of moose?
- 178
- 00:11:48,520 --> 00:11:49,521
- (PHONE BEEPS)
- 179
- 00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:51,887
- MAN 1: Bryson, four words:
- Not in this lifetime.
- 180
- 00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:53,007
- (BEEPS)
- 181
- 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:55,811
- MAN 2: I wish I could, Bill,
- but I just switched to a new beta blocker:
- 182
- 00:11:55,880 --> 00:11:56,881
- I barely have enough energy
- 183
- 00:11:56,960 --> 00:11:58,007
- -to get dressed in the...
- -(BEEPS)
- 184
- 00:11:58,080 --> 00:11:59,969
- MAN 3: Next time, call me for something fun.
- 185
- 00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:01,485
- -Like a colonoscopy.
- -(BEEPS)
- 186
- 00:12:01,880 --> 00:12:04,008
- MAN 4: Bill, I think you've been the victim
- of identity theft.
- 187
- 00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:05,491
- I got the most ridiculous message
- 188
- 00:12:05,560 --> 00:12:06,800
- -from someone claiming...
- -(BEEPS)
- 189
- 00:12:06,880 --> 00:12:09,963
- MAN 5: Bill, you know you can see the whole
- trail online in less than four minutes?
- 190
- 00:12:10,560 --> 00:12:14,690
- You know, you can't count Dan Budge.
- Dying is not the same as saying no.
- 191
- 00:12:14,760 --> 00:12:16,000
- (BRYSON lvlulvll3LEs)
- 192
- 00:12:18,360 --> 00:12:20,567
- Did we know about that?
- About Dan's death?
- 193
- 00:12:21,760 --> 00:12:24,445
- Yeah, I think
- it was in Janice's Christmas card.
- 194
- 00:12:26,360 --> 00:12:29,409
- Well, that explains why she was so miffed
- about my invitation.
- 195
- 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:32,162
- (PHONE RINGING)
- 196
- 00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:34,167
- lfsintheH_
- 197
- 00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:42,323
- -(BEEPS)
- -Hello?
- 198
- 00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:44,807
- Hello?
- 199
- 00:12:44,920 --> 00:12:46,490
- KATZ: Hey it's me.
- 200
- 00:12:46,760 --> 00:12:47,841
- I'm sorry?
- 201
- 00:12:48,480 --> 00:12:50,482
- Bryson, it's Katz.
- 202
- 00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:53,163
- -it's Katz?
- -Yeah.
- 203
- 00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:55,249
- -Stephen?
- -Yeah.
- 204
- 00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:57,045
- -(KATZ LAUGHS)
- -Whoa.
- 205
- 00:12:58,200 --> 00:12:59,531
- You're in the States?
- 206
- 00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:01,964
- Yeah, yeah. Where are you?
- 207
- 00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:05,886
- (CHUCKLES) I'm in Des Moines.
- Where the hell else would I be?
- 208
- 00:13:06,760 --> 00:13:08,683
- Well, it's good to hear your voice.
- 209
- 00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:13,284
- Yeah. Hey Doug told me about
- this Appalachian Trail deal of yours.
- 210
- 00:13:13,520 --> 00:13:14,851
- Are you serious about that?
- 211
- 00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:17,169
- Yes, I'm very serious.
- 212
- 00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:20,721
- You think maybe I could come with you?
- 213
- 00:13:22,560 --> 00:13:25,291
- (STAMMERS) You wanna come with me?
- 214
- 00:13:25,920 --> 00:13:28,844
- Yeah, if it's a problem, I understand.
- 215
- 00:13:28,920 --> 00:13:33,847
- -No, no, no, no.
- -I mean, I understand if you don't want me.
- 216
- 00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:36,242
- No, why... Why wouldn't I want you?
- 217
- 00:13:36,960 --> 00:13:40,521
- Because, you know,
- I still owe you 600 bucks from Europe-
- 218
- 00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:43,401
- Well, that was forty years ago, Stephen.
- 219
- 00:13:43,680 --> 00:13:46,570
- Yeah, but I still intend to pay you.
- 220
- 00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:48,565
- Well, I know you're good for it.
- 221
- 00:13:48,680 --> 00:13:50,170
- Ah, great, great.
- 222
- 00:13:50,520 --> 00:13:52,409
- BRYSON: So, what kind of shape you in?
- 223
- 00:13:52,600 --> 00:13:56,241
- Well, I'm in good shape.
- I walk everywhere these days.
- 224
- 00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:57,481
- Really?
- 225
- 00:13:57,560 --> 00:14:00,166
- Yeah, since the bastards
- took away my license.
- 226
- 00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:01,605
- (CHUCKLES)
- 227
- 00:14:02,440 --> 00:14:03,680
- Um...
- 228
- 00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:05,964
- So, how are you with bears?
- 229
- 00:14:06,560 --> 00:14:09,882
- Well, they haven 't gotten me yet.
- (LAUGHS)
- 230
- 00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:14,524
- Well, you know there can't be a black bear
- within 1,500 miles of Des IVloines, Katz.
- 231
- 00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:18,844
- That's what I'm saying, man.
- Those fuckers keep their distance.
- 232
- 00:14:19,080 --> 00:14:21,242
- (BOTH LAuGHING)
- 233
- 00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:24,044
- You'll never guess who just gave me a call.
- 234
- 00:14:24,120 --> 00:14:26,487
- No, no, no. Not Stephen Katz.
- 235
- 00:14:27,320 --> 00:14:28,526
- IVlmm-mmm.
- 236
- 00:14:28,600 --> 00:14:30,523
- You said I couldn't go alone.
- 237
- 00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:33,923
- Well, presuming you were going
- to get somebody responsible.
- 238
- 00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:35,521
- You don't even know him.
- 239
- 00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:37,967
- Well, I know the stories.
- Didn't he have a drinking problem?
- 240
- 00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:39,127
- We all had drinking problems.
- 241
- 00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:41,043
- Well, you two ended up
- on each other's nerves in Europe.
- 242
- 00:14:41,120 --> 00:14:43,805
- No, no, no, no.
- We started out on each other's ner\/es.
- 243
- 00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:45,970
- We ended up despising each other.
- 244
- 00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:47,611
- <scoFFs>
- 245
- 00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:50,562
- You know I hate this, right?
- 246
- 00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:53,604
- Sweetheart, I really don't think
- you have anything to worry about.
- 247
- 00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:56,246
- No. Just my husband wandering off
- into the woods,
- 248
- 00:14:56,320 --> 00:14:58,527
- surely to be maimed or killed
- 249
- 00:14:58,680 --> 00:15:01,843
- or contract some ghastly
- parasitic disease which,
- 250
- 00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:05,328
- if lucky, will leave him propped up
- in a chair, drooling into his own bib.
- 251
- 00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:07,130
- But there's nothing to worry about,
- because of course
- 252
- 00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:10,363
- I'll be the one expected to stand
- by your side, feeding you ice chips
- 253
- 00:15:10,440 --> 00:15:14,650
- until you capitulate to this unnamed malady,
- and then what?
- 254
- 00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:18,406
- I get to stand in front
- of some gaudy church saying,
- 255
- 00:15:18,520 --> 00:15:20,887
- "He was a loving husband and father,
- 256
- 00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:24,086
- "once considered to be
- a man of reasonable intelligence,
- 257
- 00:15:24,160 --> 00:15:25,889
- "since revealed to be nothing more
- 258
- 00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:28,648
- "than a daft and utter fool."
- 259
- 00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:30,563
- Well, it's a shame I won't be there to hear it.
- 260
- 00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:35,362
- Look, I know what this seems like, okay?
- 261
- 00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:37,482
- Have you actually
- thought this through at all?
- 262
- 00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:39,726
- Of course not.
- 263
- 00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:52,887
- WOMAN: (ON PA) Lebanon Airport welcomes
- Cape Air Flight 106.
- 264
- 00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:54,923
- Travelers arriving from Springfield
- 265
- 00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:57,844
- can claim their baggage
- at Baggage Claim Carousel Four:
- 266
- 00:16:02,360 --> 00:16:03,441
- (GRUNTS)
- 267
- 00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:11,561
- (GRUNTS)
- 268
- 00:16:15,760 --> 00:16:17,205
- You are shitting me.
- 269
- 00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:19,731
- (BRYSON CHUCKLES)
- 270
- 00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:26,924
- -Hey, Stephen.
- -Bryson.
- 271
- 00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:29,731
- How are you?
- 272
- 00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:33,320
- Hello, Steve-o.
- 273
- 00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:34,561
- This is my wife.
- 274
- 00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:38,404
- You're the British nurse
- I've heard so much about.
- 275
- 00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:40,290
- -I certainly hope so.
- -Yeah.
- 276
- 00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:41,761
- Good to meet you.
- 277
- 00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:45,243
- That's a little bit like a bear hug.
- 278
- 00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:46,761
- Are you limping?
- 279
- 00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:51,929
- Oh, that's a titanium knee,
- and this one's a trick knee, you know.
- 280
- 00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:54,920
- -BRYSON: Oh.
- -Let me see, I've got to get...
- 281
- 00:16:57,840 --> 00:16:58,966
- (GRUNTING)
- 282
- 00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:01,884
- (CRANKING VENDING MACHINE)
- 283
- 00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:08,886
- I gotta eat every hour or so,
- otherwise I get these, uh...
- 284
- 00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:11,807
- -What, episodes?
- -No, no, they're.__
- 285
- 00:17:12,040 --> 00:17:13,849
- -BRYSON: Seizures?
- -Seizures, that's right.
- 286
- 00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:15,281
- -You get seizures?
- -IVlmm-hmm.
- 287
- 00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:21,049
- Yeah. You know, I ate some contaminated
- phenethylamines about 10 years ago,
- 288
- 00:17:22,360 --> 00:17:24,647
- and it totally jacked up my system,
- you Know.
- 289
- 00:17:25,120 --> 00:17:27,851
- -I thought you said you were in shape?
- -I am.
- 290
- 00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:31,484
- KATZ: So the two of them take off
- on a motorbike
- 291
- 00:17:31,840 --> 00:17:36,641
- and we have no choice but to hitchhike
- all the way back to San Sebastian.
- 292
- 00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:40,163
- We go into the first pub, and boom,
- there they are.
- 293
- 00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:43,131
- So, six hours later
- we stumble out to the beach,
- 294
- 00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:46,249
- and Bryson insists on having the pretty girl,
- 295
- 00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:47,481
- -of course, the redhead.
- -Ooh.
- 296
- 00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:51,287
- And I get the horse-faced blonde, you know.
- 297
- 00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:53,126
- Uh, Bryson!
- 298
- 00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:57,206
- I can't believe... Come on, sit.
- 299
- 00:17:57,520 --> 00:18:00,888
- I can't believe
- you never told Cathy about Spain.
- 300
- 00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:02,326
- Oh, it must have slipped my mind.
- 301
- 00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:04,324
- Hmm, I wonder why?
- 302
- 00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:07,205
- Anyway, the next day
- we're on a train to Madrid.
- 303
- 00:18:07,640 --> 00:18:10,166
- Bryson goes to the head
- and I don't pay any attention to it,
- 304
- 00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:12,004
- and he's in there a long time.
- 305
- 00:18:12,120 --> 00:18:15,602
- Finally, I look up,
- and he's coming out toward the seat
- 306
- 00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:17,489
- and he's just scratching and scratching...
- 307
- 00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:19,370
- -Got it. Got it.
- -(CATHERINE EXCLAIMING)
- 308
- 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:22,606
- I said to him,
- "Hey, Bryson, what's going on?"
- 309
- 00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:25,684
- And he says,
- "Next time you can have the red-head."
- 310
- 00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:28,209
- (SAM LAUGHING AWKWARDLY)
- 311
- 00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:31,208
- -Is there a picture of the red-head?
- -KATZ: I think so.
- 312
- 00:18:31,280 --> 00:18:33,123
- I'd like to see the redhead.
- I'd love to see the red-head.
- 313
- 00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:35,089
- -That's a really great story.
- -CATHERINE: She's not in here.
- 314
- 00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:37,367
- -Thank you for sharing that with my family.
- -CATHERINE: Where is she?
- 315
- 00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:38,930
- Well, I have more of them, Bryson.
- 316
- 00:18:39,120 --> 00:18:40,281
- No, no, that's great.
- 317
- 00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:42,971
- -No, no, I think we should have a few more.
- -All right.
- 318
- 00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:45,966
- We were in Nice, and Bryson goes to this
- 319
- 00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:49,044
- very famous hotel there
- called The Mayflower...
- 320
- 00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:52,008
- (TV PLAYING INDISTINCTLY)
- 321
- 00:19:07,120 --> 00:19:08,406
- (GASPS)
- 322
- 00:19:15,640 --> 00:19:17,688
- Mmm, the Cubbies.
- 323
- 00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:19,851
- (LAUGHS)
- 324
- 00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:22,085
- (slGHs)
- 325
- 00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:51,568
- Oh, decomposed.
- 326
- 00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:57,411
- Oh, my God.
- 327
- 00:19:57,640 --> 00:19:59,130
- (CHUCKUNG)
- 328
- 00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:02,721
- (GRUNTING)
- 329
- 00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:21,724
- (PLAYING TUNE)
- 330
- 00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:38,126
- You still playing that thing?
- 331
- 00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:42,528
- Oh, yeah. Not good, but I'm playing.
- (CHUCKLES)
- 332
- 00:20:43,040 --> 00:20:44,929
- How about you, still playing the drums?
- 333
- 00:20:45,120 --> 00:20:46,690
- Oh, God, no. I gave that up years ago.
- 334
- 00:20:47,120 --> 00:20:48,406
- Oh.
- 335
- 00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:50,166
- Is that your daughter?
- 336
- 00:20:51,120 --> 00:20:54,169
- -Yeah.
- -Takes after her mother. Lucky break there.
- 337
- 00:20:54,760 --> 00:20:56,171
- (BOTH LAUGH)
- 338
- 00:20:56,520 --> 00:21:00,650
- -How many grandchildren in all?
- -Three, and another one on the way.
- 339
- 00:21:01,040 --> 00:21:03,247
- You really pulled it off, Bryson.
- 340
- 00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:04,641
- You know?
- 341
- 00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:08,368
- No, I mean that. I'm happy for you.
- 342
- 00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:13,965
- Well, how about you, Stephen?
- You... You been okay?
- 343
- 00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:16,128
- IVle? Oh, hell, yeah.
- 344
- 00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:19,651
- I spent half my life getting drunk,
- chasing pussy.
- 345
- 00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:22,371
- The other half I wasted. (LAUGHS)
- 346
- 00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:29,524
- -Have you seen these things?
- -Yeah.
- 347
- 00:21:30,360 --> 00:21:31,771
- (EXHALES DEEPLY)
- 348
- 00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:33,041
- Fucked.
- 349
- 00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:34,641
- Hey, you know,
- 350
- 00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:38,168
- everyone thinks
- we're going to go onto that trail
- 351
- 00:21:38,320 --> 00:21:40,766
- and quit after a week, like most people do.
- 352
- 00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:44,248
- We're not most people, Bryson.
- 353
- 00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:47,968
- No. No, we're not.
- 354
- 00:21:51,240 --> 00:21:53,242
- -So, good night.
- -Good night.
- 355
- 00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:56,686
- (LAUGHS)
- 356
- 00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:00,768
- (AIRPLANE WHIRRING)
- 357
- 00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:02,366
- All right then.
- 358
- 00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:05,086
- -Thank you, IVlrs. Bryson. Bye.
- -You're welcome. Good luck.
- 359
- 00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:08,041
- I'll meet you inside. Right?
- 360
- 00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:20,922
- -I will miss you, you know.
- -I hope so.
- 361
- 00:22:22,080 --> 00:22:23,491
- (CHUCKLES)
- 362
- 00:22:27,080 --> 00:22:29,765
- I just want to go on the record one last time
- 363
- 00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:32,570
- and say, I do love you.
- 364
- 00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:38,644
- Try not to die, okay?
- 365
- 00:22:40,120 --> 00:22:41,281
- I'll do my best.
- 366
- 00:22:43,680 --> 00:22:45,330
- Go on. Bugger off.
- 367
- 00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:09,210
- I remember this one guy that I picked up.
- He came off the Trail.
- 368
- 00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:11,209
- He's not like you guys, a lot younger.
- 369
- 00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:13,682
- He got back there and just started crying.
- 370
- 00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:16,607
- I'm serious.
- Cried all the way back to Atlanta.
- 371
- 00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:19,448
- Sat back there whimpering like a child.
- 372
- 00:23:20,960 --> 00:23:22,246
- When you drop people off,
- 373
- 00:23:22,320 --> 00:23:24,607
- can you tell whether
- they're going to make it or not?
- 374
- 00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:27,164
- Oh. Yes, sir, yes, sir. Every time, pretty near.
- 375
- 00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:30,560
- How about us?
- 376
- 00:23:33,040 --> 00:23:34,690
- Oh, well, here we are. (CHUCKLES)
- 377
- 00:23:44,800 --> 00:23:46,006
- Thank you.
- 378
- 00:24:01,120 --> 00:24:03,521
- -Here you go.
- -Okay.
- 379
- 00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:05,446
- -Breakfast at seven.
- -Seven.
- 380
- 00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:07,050
- -Yeah. Okay.
- -Okay.
- 381
- 00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:20,202
- (PEOPLE TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
- 382
- 00:24:28,560 --> 00:24:30,642
- I hope you don't mind my saying,
- 383
- 00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:34,646
- but these are about
- the best damn pancakes I ever had.
- 384
- 00:24:34,880 --> 00:24:38,885
- Is that right? Well, I like a man
- who appreciates his pancakes.
- 385
- 00:24:39,120 --> 00:24:41,248
- -Well, I sure do appreciate these, honey.
- -(LAUGHS)
- 386
- 00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:44,089
- -Would you like some coffee?
- -Yeah.
- 387
- 00:24:45,080 --> 00:24:46,605
- And I'll get you a menu.
- 388
- 00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:48,571
- No, no, I've already eaten. Thanks.
- 389
- 00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:52,246
- Not bad looking, huh?
- 390
- 00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:54,606
- That depends.
- 391
- 00:24:55,400 --> 00:24:58,085
- You know what I look for
- in a female these days?
- 392
- 00:24:59,120 --> 00:25:01,122
- A heartbeat and a full set of limbs.
- 393
- 00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:04,048
- Well, most people lower their standards
- as they age.
- 394
- 00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:06,208
- -Yeah?
- -You've actually raised yours.
- 395
- 00:25:06,440 --> 00:25:08,090
- (CHUCKLES)
- 396
- 00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:10,530
- You know, Bryson, I've been thinking.
- 397
- 00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:13,489
- Let's stay here another night.
- 398
- 00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:19,927
- -You kidding?
- -No. No. It is cold outside.
- 399
- 00:25:20,240 --> 00:25:21,401
- It's warm in here.
- 400
- 00:25:24,120 --> 00:25:26,566
- -I am going.
- -Wait a minute. (GRUNTS)
- 401
- 00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:31,568
- We go. We go.
- 402
- 00:25:36,280 --> 00:25:39,124
- Hey, hang on. I'd like to say a few words
- if you don't mind.
- 403
- 00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:40,801
- Au right.
- 404
- 00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:46,645
- -I don't want to reach for metaphors, but...
- -No, reach, Bryson, reach.
- 405
- 00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:48,848
- Well, they say
- the Appalachian Trail is like life.
- 406
- 00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:50,047
- Uh-huh.
- 407
- 00:25:50,120 --> 00:25:52,566
- You don't know what's ahead, you don't
- know what's going to happen next,
- 408
- 00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:54,130
- but you give it your best shot.
- 409
- 00:25:54,360 --> 00:25:55,407
- Your best...
- 410
- 00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:57,611
- So, on that note...
- 411
- 00:25:58,320 --> 00:25:59,970
- -We 90?
- 412
- 00:26:00,520 --> 00:26:01,521
- Au right.
- 413
- 00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:17,247
- (KATZ l=>ANTING)
- 414
- 00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:21,766
- You keeping up?
- 415
- 00:26:22,680 --> 00:26:24,330
- Yeah. Keeping up.
- 416
- 00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:27,365
- (slGHs)
- 417
- 00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:35,564
- Are we hiking or strolling?
- 418
- 00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:37,445
- What, is this a race?
- 419
- 00:26:38,320 --> 00:26:40,004
- We're trying to do 11 miles.
- 420
- 00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:44,086
- Slow and steady, pal.
- You wanna burn out your legs, go ahead.
- 421
- 00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:45,161
- (GRO/\NING)
- 422
- 00:26:45,240 --> 00:26:48,210
- -Just be nice to get there before midnight.
- -Yeah, well.
- 423
- 00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:52,965
- (GRUNTS) That would be nice.
- 424
- 00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:55,243
- Go ahead. Help yourselves.
- 425
- 00:26:56,800 --> 00:26:58,040
- Oh, jeez
- 426
- 00:27:02,360 --> 00:27:05,204
- Okay, complete the following sentence.
- 427
- 00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:08,884
- What goes up must come
- 428
- 00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:10,966
- down.
- 429
- 00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:14,768
- What the hell happened to down?
- It can't be uphill all the way to Maine.
- 430
- 00:27:16,200 --> 00:27:17,531
- Coming through.
- 431
- 00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:19,681
- Oh, my God. All right.
- 432
- 00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:21,410
- -What's up?
- -Not much.
- 433
- 00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:23,489
- -Beautiful day.
- -Yeah, it sure is.
- 434
- 00:27:23,560 --> 00:27:24,891
- -Excuse me.
- -Okay.
- 435
- 00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:29,166
- Little fuckers.
- 436
- 00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:31,326
- MAN: It's just over the hill, guys.
- 437
- 00:27:32,240 --> 00:27:34,242
- (KATZ l=>ANTING)
- 438
- 00:27:44,960 --> 00:27:46,246
- (GRUNTING)
- 439
- 00:27:48,560 --> 00:27:49,686
- -KATZ: Boy.
- -You okay?
- 440
- 00:27:49,760 --> 00:27:51,603
- KATZ: Yeah. I almost fell off the log.
- 441
- 00:27:57,480 --> 00:27:58,766
- (PANTS)
- 442
- 00:27:59,200 --> 00:28:01,089
- How far do you figure we've gone?
- 443
- 00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:06,244
- Oh, about a quarter of a mile.
- 444
- 00:28:06,480 --> 00:28:08,164
- IVlotherfuck
- 445
- 00:28:09,440 --> 00:28:11,408
- We're going already?
- 446
- 00:28:11,480 --> 00:28:13,289
- (GRUNTING)
- 447
- 00:28:22,560 --> 00:28:23,891
- Just kill me now.
- 448
- 00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:28,170
- I don't care how you do it,
- but please, just kill me now.
- 449
- 00:28:30,960 --> 00:28:32,485
- (GRO/\NING)
- 450
- 00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:37,482
- (l=>ANTING)
- 451
- 00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:55,321
- -What, that's it? No dinner?
- -(GROANING)
- 452
- 00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:02,448
- (ZIPPING UP TENT)
- 453
- 00:29:03,640 --> 00:29:04,926
- (KATZ GROANS)
- 454
- 00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:29,161
- KATZ: Hiya.
- 455
- 00:29:35,200 --> 00:29:37,885
- -KATZ: You remember the Randall Farm?
- -Of course.
- 456
- 00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:40,250
- KATZ: Super-Walmart now.
- 457
- 00:29:40,600 --> 00:29:41,681
- BRYSONI Christ.
- 458
- 00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:45,083
- KATZ: The old drive-in theater?
- 459
- 00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:47,488
- -BRYSON: Don't tell me.
- -(CHUCKLES)
- 460
- 00:29:47,880 --> 00:29:50,531
- -KATZ: Subaru dealership now.
- -No.
- 461
- 00:29:50,880 --> 00:29:53,042
- KATZ: Yeah. I got my first blowjob there.
- 462
- 00:29:53,280 --> 00:29:55,044
- -BRYSON: In the Subaru dealership?
- -(CHUCKLES)
- 463
- 00:29:56,080 --> 00:29:58,208
- -Bit of a late bloomer, huh?
- -(LAUGHS)
- 464
- 00:29:59,520 --> 00:30:03,206
- I bumped into Jimmy Duncan
- a few weeks back.
- 465
- 00:30:03,560 --> 00:30:04,891
- You remember him?
- 466
- 00:30:04,960 --> 00:30:07,691
- -Yeah. His mom worked at the library?
- -(LAUGHS)
- 467
- 00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:10,002
- 'Course you remember his mom.
- 468
- 00:30:10,120 --> 00:30:11,451
- BRYSON: Yeah, she was nice.
- 469
- 00:30:12,360 --> 00:30:14,044
- KATZ: And she didn't own a bra.
- 470
- 00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:17,324
- -BRYSON: Well, if she did, she never wore it.
- -(LAUGHS)
- 471
- 00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:20,685
- KATZ: Man, I loved that library.
- 472
- 00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:23,368
- (HARMONICA PLAYING)
- 473
- 00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:27,402
- (CoNTINuEs PLAYING)
- 474
- 00:30:31,160 --> 00:30:33,766
- -KATZ: Hey, Bryson?
- -Yeah?
- 475
- 00:30:34,720 --> 00:30:38,361
- KATZ: Have you really kept in touch
- with Doug Glawinski all these years?
- 476
- 00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:42,529
- BRYSON: No, not at all. Why?
- 477
- 00:30:44,360 --> 00:30:47,330
- KATZ: You invited him,
- so I was just curious.
- 478
- 00:30:48,320 --> 00:30:51,688
- BRYSON: Well, yeah.
- I invited everyone I could think of.
- 479
- 00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:53,762
- KATZ: No, not everyone.
- 480
- 00:30:54,680 --> 00:30:56,091
- I heard about it from Doug.
- 481
- 00:30:57,600 --> 00:30:59,409
- BRYSON: I don't think I had your number.
- 482
- 00:30:59,640 --> 00:31:01,165
- KATZ: You had Doug's number?
- 483
- 00:31:02,280 --> 00:31:06,251
- BRYSON: Well, if it makes you feel any better,
- I really don't like Doug.
- 484
- 00:31:06,520 --> 00:31:08,921
- KATZ: (LAUGHING)
- Well, I don't blame you.
- 485
- 00:31:10,960 --> 00:31:13,964
- I'm not sure how that's supposed
- to make me feel better, though.
- 486
- 00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:16,127
- BRYSON: Yeah.
- 487
- 00:31:16,600 --> 00:31:18,921
- I guess I really didn't think that through.
- 488
- 00:31:20,120 --> 00:31:21,281
- Good night.
- 489
- 00:31:22,640 --> 00:31:23,721
- KATZ: Good night.
- 490
- 00:31:28,880 --> 00:31:30,803
- (TENT UNZIPPING)
- 491
- 00:31:51,280 --> 00:31:52,611
- You burying your shit?
- 492
- 00:31:56,040 --> 00:31:57,087
- YSS.
- 493
- 00:31:57,320 --> 00:31:59,561
- -In the woods?
- -Yeah.
- 494
- 00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:03,645
- Oh, Bryson, I've missed you.
- 495
- 00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:07,367
- Thank you. (LAUGHING)
- 496
- 00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:10,527
- Can't wait to read about this in the book.
- 497
- 00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:12,001
- BRYSON: I'm not writing a book.
- 498
- 00:32:31,520 --> 00:32:32,806
- Hi.
- 499
- 00:32:33,560 --> 00:32:34,891
- You guys camping here?
- 500
- 00:32:36,600 --> 00:32:37,726
- No, we live here.
- 501
- 00:32:38,120 --> 00:32:39,884
- (LAUGHS)
- 502
- 00:32:40,760 --> 00:32:42,091
- What are you guys eating?
- 503
- 00:32:42,560 --> 00:32:44,722
- Noodles? Ugh, big mistake.
- 504
- 00:32:45,040 --> 00:32:48,522
- Noodles have got, like, no energy in them.
- I mean, like, zero.
- 505
- 00:32:49,200 --> 00:32:52,249
- I'm Mary Ellen. Is that your tent?
- 506
- 00:32:53,560 --> 00:32:54,607
- BRYSON: Yeah.
- 507
- 00:32:55,560 --> 00:32:57,289
- Oh, big mistake.
- 508
- 00:32:57,720 --> 00:33:00,405
- They must have seen you coming
- at the camping store.
- 509
- 00:33:00,480 --> 00:33:02,926
- -How much did you pay for it?
- -I don't remember.
- 510
- 00:33:03,080 --> 00:33:05,970
- Too much. That's how much. (LAUGHS)
- 511
- 00:33:06,400 --> 00:33:08,607
- Shoulda got a three-season tent, my friend.
- 512
- 00:33:09,040 --> 00:33:10,565
- It is a three-season tent.
- 513
- 00:33:10,920 --> 00:33:14,561
- Pardon me for saying so,
- but it is, like, seriously dumb
- 514
- 00:33:14,680 --> 00:33:17,923
- to come out here in March
- without a three-season tent.
- 515
- 00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:21,084
- It's April. (CHUCKLING)
- And it is a three-season tent.
- 516
- 00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:23,924
- That's a three-season tent.
- 517
- 00:33:24,080 --> 00:33:27,084
- No, no. Those are both three-season tents.
- 518
- 00:33:28,160 --> 00:33:30,367
- No. I don't think so.
- 519
- 00:33:32,600 --> 00:33:33,601
- (GRUNTS)
- 520
- 00:33:33,920 --> 00:33:36,048
- How many miles did you guys do today?
- 521
- 00:33:36,720 --> 00:33:37,801
- Around 10.
- 522
- 00:33:38,280 --> 00:33:41,443
- Ten? Oh, you must be really out of shape.
- 523
- 00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:45,050
- I did fourteen-two. Started at Gooch Gap.
- 524
- 00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:48,330
- Well, so did we. And it's eight point four.
- 525
- 00:33:49,680 --> 00:33:52,126
- -No.
- -(CHUCKLING) It is. it's eight point four.
- 526
- 00:33:53,080 --> 00:33:56,801
- Excuse me. But I think I ought to Know.
- I just walked it.
- 527
- 00:33:57,160 --> 00:34:00,130
- So did we. And it's eight point four.
- 528
- 00:34:01,440 --> 00:34:02,726
- Tomato, tomahto
- 529
- 00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:05,290
- You know what your problem is?
- 530
- 00:34:06,240 --> 00:34:07,366
- You're too fat.
- 531
- 00:34:08,480 --> 00:34:09,481
- Excuse me?
- 532
- 00:34:09,680 --> 00:34:12,411
- You should have dropped some
- of that tonnage before you hit the trailhead.
- 533
- 00:34:12,480 --> 00:34:15,962
- I mean, you're liable to have some sort
- of serious heart thing out here.
- 534
- 00:34:16,120 --> 00:34:17,963
- (GRUMBUNG)
- 535
- 00:34:18,640 --> 00:34:22,884
- And so I just walk alone,
- because everybody I know is boring.
- 536
- 00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:26,368
- I'm the only person I know
- who doesn't bore myself to death.
- 537
- 00:34:26,840 --> 00:34:28,444
- Also, if I walked with someone else,
- 538
- 00:34:28,520 --> 00:34:32,241
- I'd have to watch them make, you know,
- mistake after mistake after mistake,
- 539
- 00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:36,803
- and I'd go crazy, and then I'd not be sane
- on the trail, you know?
- 540
- 00:34:36,880 --> 00:34:39,565
- I was like, "Mary Ellen,
- wno's the only person you know
- 541
- 00:34:39,680 --> 00:34:41,648
- "who doesn't mess up?" and it's like, me.
- 542
- 00:34:42,600 --> 00:34:44,682
- I went through this person,
- it was, like, dumb.
- 543
- 00:34:44,760 --> 00:34:48,207
- That person, boring. This person, dumb.
- Dumb, dumb. Boring, boring.
- 544
- 00:34:48,440 --> 00:34:50,602
- I know what you're thinking. I'm not married.
- 545
- 00:34:50,840 --> 00:34:51,921
- BRYSON: I wonder why?
- 546
- 00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:57,006
- Well, I do have a boyfriend,
- but he's in Florida and he's in prison.
- 547
- 00:34:57,440 --> 00:34:59,408
- I wouldn't hike with him even if he wasn't
- 548
- 00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:02,723
- because you can't trust a convict,
- and he's dumb.
- 549
- 00:35:03,040 --> 00:35:04,769
- And boring, actually.
- 550
- 00:35:05,360 --> 00:35:08,569
- What's your star sign?
- I bet you're a Gemini, aren't you?
- 551
- 00:35:08,680 --> 00:35:10,842
- Ah, I'm really good at this. I have a gift.
- 552
- 00:35:10,960 --> 00:35:13,361
- -No, I'm not a Gemini.
- -I think you are.
- 553
- 00:35:14,200 --> 00:35:15,531
- Actually, I'm a Leo.
- 554
- 00:35:15,640 --> 00:35:17,881
- I don't think so. I'm really good at this.
- 555
- 00:35:18,960 --> 00:35:20,291
- I was born in August.
- 556
- 00:35:20,360 --> 00:35:22,203
- Mmm, check your birth certificate.
- 557
- 00:35:22,480 --> 00:35:24,847
- -And you? You're a Libra.
- -(SCOFFS)
- 558
- 00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:27,725
- Definitely a Libra.
- I could make a living doing this.
- 559
- 00:35:28,240 --> 00:35:30,891
- You're zero for two, honey. Zero for two.
- 560
- 00:35:31,040 --> 00:35:32,565
- Can you guys guess what I am?
- 561
- 00:35:32,760 --> 00:35:34,728
- -Couple of thoughts come to mind.
- -Yeah?
- 562
- 00:35:35,400 --> 00:35:37,402
- MARY ELLEN: (SINGING)
- She's up all night to the sun
- 563
- 00:35:37,480 --> 00:35:39,562
- I'm up all night to get some
- 564
- 00:35:39,640 --> 00:35:41,642
- She's up all night for good fun
- 565
- 00:35:41,720 --> 00:35:43,245
- We 're up all night to get lucky
- 566
- 00:35:44,040 --> 00:35:46,281
- (coNTINuEs SINGING)
- 567
- 00:35:46,920 --> 00:35:48,081
- KATZ: Fuck.
- 568
- 00:35:50,880 --> 00:35:52,848
- God damn it. Damn it!
- 569
- 00:35:53,320 --> 00:35:55,049
- (GRO/\NING)
- 570
- 00:35:57,200 --> 00:35:58,486
- (uNzll=>l=>lNG)
- 571
- 00:35:59,640 --> 00:36:02,484
- I swear to God I'm gonna rip her larynx out.
- 572
- 00:36:03,880 --> 00:36:06,850
- I'm not sure that's going to do it.
- I got a better plan.
- 573
- 00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:08,240
- Go on, lay it on me.
- 574
- 00:36:08,320 --> 00:36:11,563
- Okay, according to the map,
- we get to Hiawassee tomorrow.
- 575
- 00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:15,441
- We get an early start and we hike hard,
- we can put some distance between us.
- 576
- 00:36:16,080 --> 00:36:17,730
- Yeah, that's probably better than my plan.
- 577
- 00:36:18,040 --> 00:36:19,087
- What's your plan?
- 578
- 00:36:19,280 --> 00:36:21,123
- Kill her. Take her Pop-tarts.
- 579
- 00:36:27,720 --> 00:36:29,722
- -Hey, good morning.
- -BOTH: Good morning.
- 580
- 00:36:31,600 --> 00:36:32,601
- You guys heading out?
- 581
- 00:36:33,400 --> 00:36:35,289
- Yeah. You want us to wait for you?
- 582
- 00:36:35,440 --> 00:36:36,441
- Yeah, we'll wait.
- 583
- 00:36:36,960 --> 00:36:39,440
- Nah, I'll catch up. I'm pretty regular.
- 584
- 00:36:44,760 --> 00:36:45,886
- (WHISPERS) We go.
- 585
- 00:37:30,160 --> 00:37:31,685
- BRYSON: We've still got a couple more miles.
- 586
- 00:37:31,880 --> 00:37:33,041
- How far back is she?
- 587
- 00:37:34,320 --> 00:37:35,526
- She's gaining.
- 588
- 00:37:35,600 --> 00:37:37,250
- -I don't think...
- -I don't... (YELPS)
- 589
- 00:37:38,160 --> 00:37:39,241
- We need a new plan.
- 590
- 00:37:39,680 --> 00:37:41,648
- -Yeah, we do. We need a new plan.
- -Yeah.
- 591
- 00:37:44,560 --> 00:37:46,608
- (l=>ANTING)
- 592
- 00:37:48,520 --> 00:37:49,567
- Shh.
- 593
- 00:37:49,640 --> 00:37:51,165
- I didn't say anything.
- 594
- 00:37:51,480 --> 00:37:54,051
- -Well, you sound like a DC-10. Keep it down.
- -Oh.
- 595
- 00:37:54,560 --> 00:37:56,050
- -(l=>ANTING)
- -(FOOTSTEPS Al=>l=>RoACHING)
- 596
- 00:37:56,120 --> 00:37:57,201
- Here she comes.
- 597
- 00:38:00,400 --> 00:38:02,209
- (KATZ vvHEEzlNG)
- 598
- 00:38:03,200 --> 00:38:04,531
- -Hold your breath.
- -(GASPS)
- 599
- 00:38:15,800 --> 00:38:16,847
- (WHISPERS) Hold it, hold it.
- 600
- 00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:21,201
- (slGHs)
- 601
- 00:38:23,440 --> 00:38:28,890
- (SINGING) We've come too far to give up
- who we are
- 602
- 00:38:31,880 --> 00:38:33,166
- (GRUNTS)
- 603
- 00:38:33,400 --> 00:38:34,481
- We go, we go!
- 604
- 00:38:40,480 --> 00:38:43,450
- -Hey, hey, hey! Hey!
- -Hey!
- 605
- 00:38:43,720 --> 00:38:45,563
- Wait, stop!
- 606
- 00:38:48,080 --> 00:38:50,526
- Who the hell's gonna stop for us?
- We look like shit.
- 607
- 00:38:52,360 --> 00:38:54,249
- KATZ: Hey, stop!
- 608
- 00:38:56,600 --> 00:38:58,090
- (TIREs sCREECHING)
- 609
- 00:38:58,680 --> 00:38:59,761
- They stopped!
- 610
- 00:39:00,240 --> 00:39:01,890
- (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)
- 611
- 00:39:01,960 --> 00:39:03,041
- (TIRES SCREECH)
- 612
- 00:39:03,680 --> 00:39:05,205
- Hey, you boys want a ride?
- 613
- 00:39:05,720 --> 00:39:06,881
- Sure do!
- 614
- 00:39:12,680 --> 00:39:14,444
- (LAUGHS)
- 615
- 00:39:15,400 --> 00:39:17,767
- Y'all have to excuse us. We are celebrating.
- 616
- 00:39:18,120 --> 00:39:20,043
- Yeah? What are you celebrating?
- 617
- 00:39:20,400 --> 00:39:22,402
- We are getting married tomorrow.
- 618
- 00:39:22,880 --> 00:39:25,486
- -Great, great.
- -Congratulations, you guys.
- 619
- 00:39:26,120 --> 00:39:27,929
- Yeah, Darren is making
- an honest woman out of me.
- 620
- 00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:29,365
- -Ain't that right, baby?
- -Yes, I am.
- 621
- 00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:32,525
- -Uh, you wanna watch the...
- -(TIRES SCREECH)
- 622
- 00:39:32,640 --> 00:39:33,641
- (DON NA SQU EALS)
- 623
- 00:39:37,680 --> 00:39:39,125
- (LAUGHS)
- 624
- 00:39:39,640 --> 00:39:41,244
- (uNHooKING BELT)
- 625
- 00:39:43,760 --> 00:39:44,761
- DARRENZ Yeah.
- 626
- 00:39:48,400 --> 00:39:52,325
- Holy shit. I wish I was still 20.
- 627
- 00:39:53,080 --> 00:39:54,730
- I wish I was Still 50.
- 628
- 00:39:56,080 --> 00:39:57,809
- DONNA: See y'all later.
- DARREN: Bye, y'all.
- 629
- 00:40:06,160 --> 00:40:07,446
- What can I get you boys to drink?
- 630
- 00:40:07,520 --> 00:40:10,922
- The tallest and the coldest beer
- you can offer.
- 631
- 00:40:12,080 --> 00:40:13,081
- Coke.
- 632
- 00:40:13,360 --> 00:40:16,603
- -Just Coke, nothing in it?
- -Just Coke. I'm reformed.
- 633
- 00:40:16,760 --> 00:40:18,683
- -Okay.
- -Uh, you know what?
- 634
- 00:40:19,680 --> 00:40:21,523
- Make mine a Coke also.
- 635
- 00:40:22,000 --> 00:40:23,650
- All right. Just a second.
- 636
- 00:40:27,480 --> 00:40:30,643
- Oh, wow. l'm....I'm impressed.
- 637
- 00:40:31,560 --> 00:40:34,484
- Well, you know, ever since
- I rolled my oar on route six,
- 638
- 00:40:35,520 --> 00:40:39,605
- -I had to rethink some things.
- -Yeah, that'll do it.
- 639
- 00:40:41,200 --> 00:40:44,522
- A lady cop came up to the window
- and she knocked.
- 640
- 00:40:46,200 --> 00:40:50,603
- I was hanging upside down by the seatbelt
- and I said, "What's the problem, officer?"
- 641
- 00:40:50,760 --> 00:40:51,807
- (CHUCKLES)
- 642
- 00:40:51,880 --> 00:40:54,201
- She just stared at me and walked away.
- 643
- 00:40:55,320 --> 00:40:58,244
- So I haven't had a drink since.
- 644
- 00:40:59,240 --> 00:41:01,607
- -Really?
- -Yeah.
- 645
- 00:41:02,920 --> 00:41:04,206
- Well, that's good.
- 646
- 00:41:06,000 --> 00:41:08,685
- -Good for you.
- -Yeah. Good for me.
- 647
- 00:41:09,320 --> 00:41:10,367
- Really.
- 648
- 00:41:14,520 --> 00:41:15,646
- Ah.
- 649
- 00:41:18,520 --> 00:41:19,601
- You know, Bryson,
- 650
- 00:41:19,720 --> 00:41:24,726
- I keep looking at the door over there and
- I keep seeing Mary Ellen coming through.
- 651
- 00:41:26,760 --> 00:41:28,285
- I hope you're not going to tell me
- you miss her?
- 652
- 00:41:28,600 --> 00:41:31,490
- Oh, no, no. Hell no,
- I'm not going to tell you that.
- 653
- 00:41:31,600 --> 00:41:34,365
- I mean, we did Kind of ditch her though,
- didn't we?
- 654
- 00:41:34,440 --> 00:41:37,046
- No, we didn't just kind of ditch her,
- Stephen. We ditched her.
- 655
- 00:41:37,120 --> 00:41:41,091
- Yeah. We left her all alone in the woods
- by herself.
- 656
- 00:41:41,240 --> 00:41:42,446
- She came into the woods by herself.
- 657
- 00:41:42,560 --> 00:41:45,211
- It's not like we signed a contract
- to look after her.
- 658
- 00:41:45,280 --> 00:41:48,011
- No, but she's probably scared out
- of her wits.
- 659
- 00:41:48,640 --> 00:41:50,210
- What are you so interested in her for?
- 660
- 00:41:50,320 --> 00:41:52,800
- I'm not interested in her at all.
- 661
- 00:41:53,600 --> 00:41:56,922
- The damndest thing, Bryson, is I am a Libra.
- 662
- 00:41:59,760 --> 00:42:00,966
- She got it right.
- 663
- 00:42:03,720 --> 00:42:05,722
- Maybe she has a gift.
- 664
- 00:42:06,680 --> 00:42:08,011
- What are the chances?
- 665
- 00:42:08,800 --> 00:42:10,370
- One in 12, actually.
- 666
- 00:42:10,760 --> 00:42:14,128
- One in 12. That's pretty damn good.
- 667
- 00:42:20,640 --> 00:42:22,642
- Oh. Southbound, coming through.
- 668
- 00:42:26,480 --> 00:42:29,006
- MAN: Mary Ellen?
- Oh, yeah, she talked about you guys.
- 669
- 00:42:29,120 --> 00:42:30,360
- KATZ: Yeah? What did she say?
- 670
- 00:42:31,040 --> 00:42:32,451
- -Well, her words, right?
- -KATZ: Right.
- 671
- 00:42:32,640 --> 00:42:34,802
- She said you guys
- were a couple of overweight wimps
- 672
- 00:42:34,920 --> 00:42:36,445
- who didn't know the first thing about hiking.
- 673
- 00:42:37,560 --> 00:42:38,766
- And she was tired of carrying you.
- 674
- 00:42:39,400 --> 00:42:41,164
- Oh, Holy Christ Almighty.
- 675
- 00:42:41,280 --> 00:42:43,567
- Actually, I think she called you
- a couple of pussies.
- 676
- 00:42:43,840 --> 00:42:45,205
- -Pussies?
- -Pussies?
- 677
- 00:42:46,440 --> 00:42:47,646
- After all we did for her?
- 678
- 00:42:48,280 --> 00:42:51,090
- You guys know it's supposed
- to snow tonight, right? Six to eight inches.
- 679
- 00:42:51,240 --> 00:42:53,004
- -Really?
- -MAN: More higher up.
- 680
- 00:42:53,320 --> 00:42:56,130
- That's what they're saying.
- You're going to be climbing right into it.
- 681
- 00:42:56,320 --> 00:42:57,481
- -Yeah? Oh.
- -Yeah.
- 682
- 00:42:59,960 --> 00:43:03,248
- -Well, I gotta keep moving, guys. Be safe.
- -BRYSON: Thanks.
- 683
- 00:43:03,680 --> 00:43:06,126
- KATZ: Snow?
- That guy's out of his fucking mind.
- 684
- 00:43:06,680 --> 00:43:08,682
- (WIND \/vHoosHING)
- 685
- 00:43:20,520 --> 00:43:22,363
- (SCREAMING)
- 686
- 00:43:24,360 --> 00:43:25,407
- You okay?
- 687
- 00:43:25,840 --> 00:43:27,251
- Never better.
- 688
- 00:43:31,640 --> 00:43:33,005
- Goddamn things are useless.
- 689
- 00:43:34,880 --> 00:43:37,451
- What I'm thinking
- we could do is follow this logging road,
- 690
- 00:43:38,200 --> 00:43:40,282
- get to the other side of this ridge,
- and get out of the wind
- 691
- 00:43:40,360 --> 00:43:42,931
- where we can set up our camp.
- What do you think?
- 692
- 00:43:43,120 --> 00:43:47,205
- Me? I think I'd rather have a nice hot soak
- in a Jacuzzi.
- 693
- 00:43:47,720 --> 00:43:51,566
- But if you're dead-set on following
- that logging road, we can do that, too.
- 694
- 00:43:52,040 --> 00:43:56,204
- We can save the Jacuzzi for another time
- when things aren't going so well.
- 695
- 00:43:56,360 --> 00:43:57,486
- (CHUCKLING) Yeah.
- 696
- 00:43:57,560 --> 00:43:59,164
- -I'll follow you.
- -Okay.
- 697
- 00:44:08,840 --> 00:44:10,365
- Katz, you still there?
- 698
- 00:44:11,560 --> 00:44:13,881
- -KATZ: Unfortunately.
- -(CHUCKLES)
- 699
- 00:44:28,600 --> 00:44:30,364
- Just like you said, Bryson.
- 700
- 00:44:31,240 --> 00:44:35,370
- The AT. You never know what lies ahead.
- 701
- 00:44:36,720 --> 00:44:37,926
- So it appears.
- 702
- 00:44:59,480 --> 00:45:02,848
- WOMAN: I promise you, if there was heat,
- it would be on, honey, all right?
- 703
- 00:45:03,120 --> 00:45:05,168
- Use the talcum powder, that helps.
- 704
- 00:45:06,280 --> 00:45:10,410
- Hi. We'd like a cabin.
- Preferably with a private bath.
- 705
- 00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:14,721
- The cabins went two days ago.
- But I do have two spaces in the bunkhouse.
- 706
- 00:45:16,640 --> 00:45:17,801
- (KATZ GRUNTS)
- 707
- 00:45:19,120 --> 00:45:21,327
- KATZ: I don't know
- if you're aware of this, Bryson,
- 708
- 00:45:21,720 --> 00:45:24,485
- but every time I hear the word "bunkhouse"
- 709
- 00:45:25,240 --> 00:45:28,210
- my testicles shrink up inside my body.
- 710
- 00:45:39,000 --> 00:45:40,161
- Welcome to the Stalag
- 711
- 00:45:40,280 --> 00:45:42,601
- There's a meeting of the Escape Committee
- at 1900 hours.
- 712
- 00:45:42,680 --> 00:45:43,841
- Oh, okay.
- 713
- 00:45:56,480 --> 00:45:59,131
- Hey, are you liking that XT-85?
- 714
- 00:46:00,120 --> 00:46:01,406
- Your pack.
- 715
- 00:46:01,640 --> 00:46:02,687
- Oh.
- 716
- 00:46:03,280 --> 00:46:05,123
- -I got a Gregory.
- -Oh, yeah?
- 717
- 00:46:05,320 --> 00:46:07,766
- Yeah. I looked at the XT-85, solid pack.
- 718
- 00:46:07,960 --> 00:46:09,041
- But the quad access points,
- 719
- 00:46:09,160 --> 00:46:11,401
- dual hydration ports in the Gregory,
- they sold me.
- 720
- 00:46:13,200 --> 00:46:14,850
- What made you buy an XT-85?
- 721
- 00:46:15,840 --> 00:46:18,207
- I thought it was easier
- than carrying everything in my arms.
- 722
- 00:46:25,960 --> 00:46:29,328
- -How come you're up top?
- -Well, heat rises, pal.
- 723
- 00:46:31,760 --> 00:46:34,047
- (KATZ GRUNTING)
- 724
- 00:46:41,720 --> 00:46:43,051
- Oh, yeah.
- 725
- 00:46:46,320 --> 00:46:48,641
- (BED CRE/\KING)
- 726
- 00:46:48,720 --> 00:46:50,051
- Hey, you know...
- 727
- 00:46:53,880 --> 00:46:56,645
- KATZ: (GROANS)
- Hey, Bryson, are you all right?
- 728
- 00:46:56,920 --> 00:46:58,410
- BRYSON: Oh, never better.
- 729
- 00:46:59,680 --> 00:47:02,081
- (MOTIVATIONAL SONG PLAYING)
- 730
- 00:47:50,040 --> 00:47:52,805
- We can start, maybe, right there and...
- 731
- 00:47:56,440 --> 00:47:57,930
- Hello, there.
- 732
- 00:48:00,080 --> 00:48:01,889
- You guys, uh, doing all right?
- 733
- 00:48:02,760 --> 00:48:03,966
- Yeah, we're fine.
- 734
- 00:48:04,440 --> 00:48:05,771
- Because, look,
- when we get over to the other side,
- 735
- 00:48:05,840 --> 00:48:07,968
- we can just come back
- and grab your packs if you want?
- 736
- 00:48:09,320 --> 00:48:10,481
- You know, it's easy for us.
- 737
- 00:48:10,640 --> 00:48:11,926
- -Not a problem.
- -Happy to help.
- 738
- 00:48:12,240 --> 00:48:15,926
- We like hard, we don't like easy.
- But thanks a lot, you know.
- 739
- 00:48:17,480 --> 00:48:19,403
- -All right, then.
- -Okay.
- 740
- 00:48:20,120 --> 00:48:22,009
- -Excuse us. All right.
- -Yep.
- 741
- 00:48:33,560 --> 00:48:35,324
- -Nice guys.
- -Yep.
- 742
- 00:48:35,840 --> 00:48:37,763
- -I hate 'em_
- -Me, too.
- 743
- 00:48:39,440 --> 00:48:40,441
- Well...
- 744
- 00:48:57,160 --> 00:48:58,207
- (GRUNTS)
- 745
- 00:49:05,080 --> 00:49:06,127
- (GRUNTS)
- 746
- 00:49:06,600 --> 00:49:07,840
- (GRUNTING)
- 747
- 00:49:20,960 --> 00:49:23,691
- -That went well.
- -It was refreshing.
- 748
- 00:49:28,000 --> 00:49:30,367
- Bryson, you've got everything
- a man could want.
- 749
- 00:49:31,120 --> 00:49:34,522
- And here you are,
- tramping around in the woods with me.
- 750
- 00:49:35,600 --> 00:49:36,886
- Seriously, what gives?
- 751
- 00:49:38,240 --> 00:49:39,844
- I don't know.
- 752
- 00:49:41,880 --> 00:49:44,611
- As John Muir once said,
- "Sometimes a man just has to
- 753
- 00:49:45,720 --> 00:49:49,361
- "get a loaf of bread and throw it into a sack,
- and jump over the back fence."
- 754
- 00:49:49,720 --> 00:49:51,563
- Oh, I got you.
- 755
- 00:49:51,840 --> 00:49:54,411
- Life's a little too perfect
- inside that fence, huh?
- 756
- 00:49:54,960 --> 00:49:57,281
- -No, no, no...
- -Oh, you made sense, Bryson.
- 757
- 00:49:57,400 --> 00:49:58,970
- You're a caged animal.
- 758
- 00:49:59,240 --> 00:50:02,323
- You wanna get back into that forest.
- Live a little.
- 759
- 00:50:03,600 --> 00:50:06,331
- -That's not it.
- -No, that's got to be it.
- 760
- 00:50:07,400 --> 00:50:08,845
- So why'd you come?
- 761
- 00:50:09,560 --> 00:50:13,087
- KATZ: I guess I didn't want to spend
- the rest of my life in jail.
- 762
- 00:50:13,760 --> 00:50:15,888
- -BRYSON: What?
- -(CHUCKLING) it's nothing, really.
- 763
- 00:50:16,840 --> 00:50:21,209
- Just a couple of outstanding warrants
- I didn't show up for and stuff like that.
- 764
- 00:50:21,320 --> 00:50:24,927
- Jesus, Stephen, that's really not something
- you can run from.
- 765
- 00:50:25,200 --> 00:50:26,531
- (KATZ LAUGHS)
- 766
- 00:50:26,800 --> 00:50:28,848
- KATZ: Actually, you kind of can.
- 767
- 00:50:29,760 --> 00:50:31,888
- BRYSON: Same old Stephen.
- Always running from something.
- 768
- 00:50:32,080 --> 00:50:34,686
- KATZ: Oh, really? You're one to talk.
- 769
- 00:50:35,200 --> 00:50:36,486
- Not you.
- 770
- 00:50:37,800 --> 00:50:40,883
- Remind me again why we're out here?
- 771
- 00:50:41,080 --> 00:50:42,366
- It's was not like you had something better
- to do.
- 772
- 00:50:42,440 --> 00:50:44,966
- As I recall, in fact, you begged me to come.
- 773
- 00:50:45,120 --> 00:50:47,964
- I begged? I begged to come? I asked.
- 774
- 00:50:48,920 --> 00:50:51,048
- You know what cracks me up, Bryson?
- 775
- 00:50:51,640 --> 00:50:56,487
- Is how predictable your whole life
- has become, right down to the Volvo.
- 776
- 00:50:56,560 --> 00:50:58,403
- God forbid somebody should evolve
- 777
- 00:50:58,520 --> 00:51:00,284
- rather than squandering away
- their existence.
- 778
- 00:51:00,400 --> 00:51:03,768
- I mean, look at you. All these years
- and you're still stuck at square one.
- 779
- 00:51:04,320 --> 00:51:06,243
- Hey, Bryson. Are you happy?
- 780
- 00:51:06,320 --> 00:51:08,004
- What the hell kind of a question is that?
- 781
- 00:51:08,160 --> 00:51:10,322
- Pretty important question, I'd say.
- 782
- 00:51:10,440 --> 00:51:11,646
- What, do you think you're happy?
- 783
- 00:51:12,080 --> 00:51:13,366
- I think...
- 784
- 00:51:25,960 --> 00:51:27,371
- Wow.
- 785
- 00:51:28,840 --> 00:51:30,330
- The Smokies
- 786
- 00:51:34,520 --> 00:51:36,443
- BRYSON: Now this is interesting.
- 787
- 00:51:39,200 --> 00:51:40,770
- Oh, God, this is amazing.
- 788
- 00:51:40,840 --> 00:51:43,207
- From here you can see
- all three kinds of rock.
- 789
- 00:51:44,920 --> 00:51:47,161
- There, you see that layered section
- across that slant?
- 790
- 00:51:47,280 --> 00:51:48,805
- -KATZ: Yeah.
- -That's sedimentary.
- 791
- 00:51:51,040 --> 00:51:54,442
- And the dark stuff here, pushing up
- from underneath, that's igneous.
- 792
- 00:51:54,520 --> 00:51:55,681
- Think volcanic.
- 793
- 00:51:56,120 --> 00:51:58,202
- How do you know all this stuff?
- 794
- 00:51:58,360 --> 00:52:00,044
- Well, there are these things called books.
- 795
- 00:52:00,640 --> 00:52:04,281
- -Oh. No kidding, they're called books?
- -Yeah, they're like TV for smart people.
- 796
- 00:52:05,200 --> 00:52:07,726
- See, what we're talking about here,
- Katz, is time.
- 797
- 00:52:08,520 --> 00:52:09,646
- Geologic time.
- 798
- 00:52:10,040 --> 00:52:14,602
- Hundreds of thousands of years
- of enormous, shifting tectonic plates.
- 799
- 00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:17,924
- It's like the world being reborn from below
- while it's being eroded from above.
- 800
- 00:52:18,560 --> 00:52:19,971
- Yeah. Well,
- 801
- 00:52:20,480 --> 00:52:22,687
- when we get back I'm gonna buy you a TV.
- 802
- 00:52:23,840 --> 00:52:29,051
- Because nobody gives a fuck
- about shifting tectonic plates.
- 803
- 00:52:29,240 --> 00:52:30,241
- Well, I do.
- 804
- 00:52:30,800 --> 00:52:32,040
- You know why?
- 805
- 00:52:32,560 --> 00:52:35,086
- Because I'm curious,
- and I love being curious.
- 806
- 00:52:35,560 --> 00:52:37,927
- I like knowing things about the world
- that we're living in.
- 807
- 00:52:38,400 --> 00:52:40,641
- Well, I think it's all fucking rock.
- 808
- 00:52:41,040 --> 00:52:42,371
- Oh, yeah?
- 809
- 00:52:42,480 --> 00:52:44,687
- I don't get bogged down in the minutiae.
- 810
- 00:52:44,960 --> 00:52:47,440
- -I'm above the details.
- -(CHUCKLING) You are?
- 811
- 00:52:47,640 --> 00:52:49,927
- I'm big picture, Bryson.
- 812
- 00:52:50,080 --> 00:52:52,731
- Oh. How's that working out for you?
- 813
- 00:52:52,800 --> 00:52:55,246
- Ah, pretty, uh, fucking good.
- 814
- 00:53:01,400 --> 00:53:02,731
- (HoNKING)
- 815
- 00:53:25,840 --> 00:53:26,966
- Hello.
- 816
- 00:53:27,360 --> 00:53:28,646
- We'd like a room, please.
- 817
- 00:53:28,920 --> 00:53:30,410
- Two rooms.
- 818
- 00:53:31,040 --> 00:53:35,443
- Oh, the Cubbies lost a double header,
- and they're 11 games back.
- 819
- 00:53:35,800 --> 00:53:37,006
- Don't act surprised.
- 820
- 00:53:38,480 --> 00:53:40,164
- Tonight would be preferable.
- 821
- 00:53:42,320 --> 00:53:43,651
- Hello there?
- 822
- 00:53:46,440 --> 00:53:48,442
- Where are the Red Sox?
- 823
- 00:53:48,520 --> 00:53:49,965
- Red Sox? Are you fucking kidding me? Whoa.
- 824
- 00:53:50,240 --> 00:53:51,366
- Excuse me, ma'am_
- 825
- 00:53:51,440 --> 00:53:53,442
- -Red Sox?
- -I live in New England.
- 826
- 00:53:53,520 --> 00:53:57,161
- Yeah, but Bryson, it's not about
- where you live, it's about who you are.
- 827
- 00:53:57,400 --> 00:54:00,290
- Oh, yeah? Well, I'm the kind of guy
- that likes it when a team wins now and then.
- 828
- 00:54:00,440 --> 00:54:01,851
- Well, you don't.
- 829
- 00:54:02,680 --> 00:54:06,082
- You don't give up on a team just because
- they've had a few bad years.
- 830
- 00:54:06,320 --> 00:54:08,322
- (SCOFFING) A few bad years? Jesus.
- 831
- 00:54:08,520 --> 00:54:10,648
- KATZ: Baseball is about loyalty.
- 832
- 00:54:12,200 --> 00:54:15,124
- Like, she knows what I'm talking about.
- Don't you?
- 833
- 00:54:17,640 --> 00:54:19,085
- Would you two like a minute?
- 834
- 00:54:20,000 --> 00:54:22,002
- Hi, I'm Jeannie. How can I help y'all?
- 835
- 00:54:22,600 --> 00:54:24,443
- Mother, let go of the man's hand.
- 836
- 00:54:25,960 --> 00:54:27,485
- -Hi.
- -Hi.
- 837
- 00:54:28,000 --> 00:54:30,207
- Um, we'd like a couple of rooms. Please.
- 838
- 00:54:30,560 --> 00:54:32,608
- Oh, sure. Where are you all from?
- 839
- 00:54:33,240 --> 00:54:36,562
- Uh, I live in New Hampshire,
- but I spent over 10 years in England.
- 840
- 00:54:36,680 --> 00:54:39,126
- -Mostly in the north countryside...
- -He's from Iowa.
- 841
- 00:54:41,200 --> 00:54:44,044
- Well, the rooms are 40 a night
- and you can pay when you leave.
- 842
- 00:54:45,200 --> 00:54:48,204
- Mother, I said, "Let go of the man's hand."
- 843
- 00:54:51,720 --> 00:54:53,006
- Thank you.
- 844
- 00:54:54,000 --> 00:54:55,047
- Helluva grip.
- 845
- 00:54:55,360 --> 00:54:57,806
- BRYSON: The Cubs should sign her.
- She'd be the youngest in their bullpen.
- 846
- 00:54:57,880 --> 00:54:59,325
- (KATZ LAUGHS)
- 847
- 00:55:00,400 --> 00:55:03,244
- -BRYSON: I guess this is me.
- -Yeah, okay. I'm right here.
- 848
- 00:55:03,520 --> 00:55:06,251
- -BRYSON: Yeah.
- -Yeah. All right. I'll see you.
- 849
- 00:55:07,160 --> 00:55:08,366
- Yeah.
- 850
- 00:55:24,720 --> 00:55:27,371
- (lvloANING SOFTLY)
- 851
- 00:55:35,240 --> 00:55:36,446
- Ah!
- 852
- 00:55:42,680 --> 00:55:44,444
- (lvloANING)
- 853
- 00:56:03,480 --> 00:56:06,131
- (COUNTRY lvluslC PLAYING)
- 854
- 00:56:10,840 --> 00:56:12,604
- -Hi.
- -Hello, again.
- 855
- 00:56:13,640 --> 00:56:15,961
- -How can I help you?
- -I just need some towels.
- 856
- 00:56:17,160 --> 00:56:19,288
- -Oh. I'm sorry about that.
- -That's fine.
- 857
- 00:56:19,480 --> 00:56:20,925
- -Here, come with me.
- -Okay.
- 858
- 00:56:21,800 --> 00:56:23,006
- (CLEARS THROAT)
- 859
- 00:56:28,920 --> 00:56:34,051
- Yeah, it's family owned and operated.
- For three generations, if you can believe it.
- 860
- 00:56:34,640 --> 00:56:35,687
- Oh, Ioan.
- 861
- 00:56:36,520 --> 00:56:39,729
- It has a personal feel to it.
- That's pretty rare these days.
- 862
- 00:56:40,680 --> 00:56:42,045
- Eighty-three years.
- 863
- 00:56:43,000 --> 00:56:44,161
- Wow.
- 864
- 00:56:46,000 --> 00:56:50,483
- We, um... We added the restaurant
- 10 years ago.
- 865
- 00:56:51,640 --> 00:56:53,802
- -So you manage that, too?
- -Yeah.
- 866
- 00:56:54,840 --> 00:56:56,171
- Somebody's gotta do it.
- 867
- 00:56:57,280 --> 00:57:01,888
- It's not so bad.
- I get to meet interesting people.
- 868
- 00:57:03,120 --> 00:57:06,010
- (CHUCKLES) I'm not sure
- I qualify as interesting.
- 869
- 00:57:06,280 --> 00:57:07,691
- Oh, I wasn't talking about you.
- 870
- 00:57:10,640 --> 00:57:13,211
- (LAuGHING)
- 871
- 00:57:14,600 --> 00:57:16,648
- Sorry. Could not resist.
- 872
- 00:57:18,240 --> 00:57:21,164
- -I'm glad I'm here to amuse you.
- -Yeah, yeah. Me, too.
- 873
- 00:57:23,160 --> 00:57:24,366
- This is you.
- 874
- 00:57:26,000 --> 00:57:27,331
- You must be exhausted.
- 875
- 00:57:28,760 --> 00:57:30,000
- (GASPS)
- 876
- 00:57:31,000 --> 00:57:32,570
- KATZZ Holy Shit.
- 877
- 00:57:33,800 --> 00:57:36,371
- I... I gave you a couple extras.
- 878
- 00:57:38,120 --> 00:57:39,281
- Enjoy your shower.
- 879
- 00:57:39,960 --> 00:57:41,166
- I will, thanks.
- 880
- 00:57:43,120 --> 00:57:44,610
- Do you need anything else?
- 881
- 00:57:45,760 --> 00:57:46,966
- No. Not at the moment.
- 882
- 00:57:47,400 --> 00:57:48,526
- Okay.
- 883
- 00:57:49,160 --> 00:57:52,289
- Well, you know where I am. All right.
- 884
- 00:57:59,400 --> 00:58:00,686
- CATHERINE: We're not here right now,
- 885
- 00:58:00,760 --> 00:58:03,889
- but please leave a message
- and thank you for calling. Bye.
- 886
- 00:58:04,080 --> 00:58:05,206
- (BEEPS)
- 887
- 00:58:05,360 --> 00:58:09,331
- Hi, sweetie. It's me.
- Uh, just calling to say I love you.
- 888
- 00:58:19,240 --> 00:58:21,641
- -(COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING)
- -Right, right. That's the one.
- 889
- 00:58:22,960 --> 00:58:25,486
- Nice, iSn't it? I like it.
- 890
- 00:58:28,560 --> 00:58:30,688
- KATZ: Everything good
- on the home front?
- 891
- 00:58:30,760 --> 00:58:33,604
- (CHUCKLES) She's impressed
- we haven't killed ourselves yet.
- 892
- 00:58:33,840 --> 00:58:35,604
- (CHUCKLING) She's not the only one.
- 893
- 00:58:37,120 --> 00:58:39,248
- Did you tell her about last night?
- 894
- 00:58:39,840 --> 00:58:40,966
- What?
- 895
- 00:58:41,120 --> 00:58:42,451
- You in a robe?
- 896
- 00:58:43,320 --> 00:58:46,483
- The proprietress,
- I'm sure, was looking to hand over
- 897
- 00:58:46,760 --> 00:58:48,444
- more than just towels.
- 898
- 00:58:48,920 --> 00:58:49,967
- You're out of your mind.
- 899
- 00:58:50,440 --> 00:58:51,487
- KATZZ Am I?
- 900
- 00:58:52,040 --> 00:58:54,805
- Sure will make a steamy chapter in the book.
- 901
- 00:58:55,000 --> 00:58:56,525
- Katz, I told you I'm not writing a book.
- 902
- 00:58:57,440 --> 00:58:59,568
- Listen, I'm going to go over to, uh, K-Mart.
- 903
- 00:59:00,440 --> 00:59:02,647
- Get a couple of things. You okay?
- 904
- 00:59:02,920 --> 00:59:05,241
- Oh, I'm in my happy place.
- 905
- 00:59:05,920 --> 00:59:07,126
- Good.
- 906
- 00:59:28,080 --> 00:59:30,048
- {HONWNG)
- -WOMAN; Idiot!
- 907
- 00:59:46,600 --> 00:59:48,170
- Oh, wait, wait.
- 908
- 00:59:48,400 --> 00:59:50,880
- (G RU NTS) Here, here.
- 909
- 00:59:51,440 --> 00:59:54,284
- -Here you are, ma'am_ Here you go.
- -Oh, thank you.
- 910
- 01:00:22,360 --> 01:00:23,521
- (GRUNTS)
- 911
- 01:00:26,960 --> 01:00:28,325
- (GRUNTING)
- 912
- 01:00:30,880 --> 01:00:32,041
- (lvluTTERING)
- 913
- 01:00:33,920 --> 01:00:35,410
- -Pardon me.
- -Hmm?
- 914
- 01:00:36,080 --> 01:00:38,526
- I'm so sorry. Do you think
- you could give me a hand here?
- 915
- 01:00:39,040 --> 01:00:42,249
- Well, certainly. I'd be happy to.
- 916
- 01:00:45,800 --> 01:00:47,723
- What seems to be the problem?
- 917
- 01:00:49,760 --> 01:00:52,764
- I'm having a difficult time
- removing my panties.
- 918
- 01:00:54,640 --> 01:00:57,405
- Well, luckily you're
- 919
- 01:00:57,480 --> 01:00:59,482
- -in the presence of an expert.
- -Oh.
- 920
- 01:01:00,080 --> 01:01:01,411
- (KATZ CHUCKLING)
- 921
- 01:01:01,880 --> 01:01:03,245
- May l<>
- 922
- 01:01:06,960 --> 01:01:10,089
- -Oh, they're silk, aren't they?
- -IVlmm-hmm.
- 923
- 01:01:12,680 --> 01:01:15,047
- -(MACHINE CREAKS)
- -I'm a pantyologist
- 924
- 01:01:15,960 --> 01:01:18,122
- Really? I've never heard of that.
- 925
- 01:01:18,480 --> 01:01:20,801
- -(lvlAcHINE CRE/\KING)
- -(GRUNTS)
- 926
- 01:01:20,880 --> 01:01:22,166
- (CLANGS)
- 927
- 01:01:24,440 --> 01:01:25,965
- -Oh.
- -Oh.
- 928
- 01:01:27,520 --> 01:01:28,760
- Well,
- 929
- 01:01:30,240 --> 01:01:32,447
- these aren't gonna do you much good.
- 930
- 01:01:34,760 --> 01:01:36,762
- Well, they might not do me
- much bad, either.
- 931
- 01:01:38,120 --> 01:01:39,360
- (LAuGHING)
- 932
- 01:01:39,640 --> 01:01:41,085
- No.
- 933
- 01:01:51,960 --> 01:01:53,769
- -Jesus, Bryson.
- -Don't ask.
- 934
- 01:01:54,240 --> 01:01:55,810
- You been screwing hogs again?
- 935
- 01:01:56,000 --> 01:01:57,286
- You're just jealous.
- 936
- 01:01:57,760 --> 01:01:59,285
- Actually, I'm not.
- 937
- 01:01:59,640 --> 01:02:04,248
- In your absence, my romantic life
- has taken a turn for the better.
- 938
- 01:02:05,200 --> 01:02:06,486
- Remember the laundromat?
- 939
- 01:02:07,400 --> 01:02:09,129
- Her name is Beulah.
- 940
- 01:02:09,640 --> 01:02:10,721
- Seriously?
- 941
- 01:02:10,960 --> 01:02:14,089
- Yeah, seriously.
- And she's got a beautiful body.
- 942
- 01:02:15,560 --> 01:02:17,767
- Buried under two hundred pounds of fat.
- 943
- 01:02:19,480 --> 01:02:22,404
- But then, you know I kinda like
- a little meat on the bone.
- 944
- 01:02:22,480 --> 01:02:26,280
- Sure, as long as you don't have
- to remove a wall to get her out of the house.
- 945
- 01:02:26,800 --> 01:02:28,040
- How did this happen?
- 946
- 01:02:28,200 --> 01:02:31,363
- She asked me if I would come
- take a look at her panties.
- 947
- 01:02:32,240 --> 01:02:35,687
- -What?
- -They were caught in the agitator.
- 948
- 01:02:36,160 --> 01:02:37,286
- And they were shredded.
- 949
- 01:02:37,600 --> 01:02:41,241
- So I'm gonna meet her this afternoon
- in front of the fire station.
- 950
- 01:02:41,680 --> 01:02:43,364
- Is that where she keeps
- her spare underwear?
- 951
- 01:02:44,000 --> 01:02:48,847
- I'm telling you, man,
- I felt a stiffening of the old resolve.
- 952
- 01:02:49,400 --> 01:02:50,765
- (CHUCKUNG)
- 953
- 01:02:50,840 --> 01:02:53,320
- -Oh, yeah?
- -I got her these.
- 954
- 01:02:58,480 --> 01:03:00,005
- Oh, she's a big woman.
- 955
- 01:03:00,280 --> 01:03:01,361
- Where'd you get these?
- 956
- 01:03:01,680 --> 01:03:03,364
- K-Mart. I took a cab.
- 957
- 01:03:04,000 --> 01:03:06,731
- Um, I thought I'd give 'em to her at dinner.
- 958
- 01:03:07,120 --> 01:03:08,326
- As an ice-breaker.
- 959
- 01:03:08,840 --> 01:03:10,649
- You're gonna give those to her
- in a restaurant?
- 960
- 01:03:10,720 --> 01:03:11,801
- Yeah.
- 961
- 01:03:11,880 --> 01:03:13,882
- Unless you think it's a bad idea.
- 962
- 01:03:14,720 --> 01:03:17,564
- No. I think that's a great idea.
- 963
- 01:03:17,920 --> 01:03:19,206
- (LAUGHS)
- 964
- 01:03:19,280 --> 01:03:20,486
- Good.
- 965
- 01:03:28,040 --> 01:03:29,280
- Hey.
- 966
- 01:03:30,320 --> 01:03:31,810
- -You had the turkey, right?
- -WOMAN: Yes.
- 967
- 01:03:33,800 --> 01:03:35,245
- -Enjoy.
- -WOMAN: All right.
- 968
- 01:03:40,760 --> 01:03:41,886
- (POUNDING ON WINDOW)
- 969
- 01:03:49,560 --> 01:03:50,891
- We go. We go.
- 970
- 01:03:50,960 --> 01:03:53,486
- -What are you talking about?
- -There's some guy looking for me!
- 971
- 01:03:53,600 --> 01:03:54,726
- Some guy?
- 972
- 01:03:54,800 --> 01:03:55,926
- Beulah's husband.
- 973
- 01:03:56,240 --> 01:03:57,810
- -Beulah's got a husband?
- -Yeah.
- 974
- 01:03:58,280 --> 01:04:01,602
- I mean, there's only two guys on the planet
- that would go to bed with ner,
- 975
- 01:04:01,960 --> 01:04:04,167
- and here we are in the same damned town!
- 976
- 01:04:04,240 --> 01:04:05,605
- So what happened?
- 977
- 01:04:06,680 --> 01:04:09,365
- I'm standing in front of the fire station
- like we planned.
- 978
- 01:04:09,440 --> 01:04:10,521
- Yeah.
- 979
- 01:04:10,600 --> 01:04:14,924
- And then around the corner comes
- this red pickup and it screeches to a halt.
- 980
- 01:04:15,280 --> 01:04:18,250
- And this big guy, he's angry, he gets out,
- 981
- 01:04:18,520 --> 01:04:21,490
- and he's walking up towards me,
- and he's going like this.
- 982
- 01:04:21,600 --> 01:04:22,806
- "l want to talk to you."
- 983
- 01:04:23,600 --> 01:04:25,364
- -So what did you do?
- -I ran.
- 984
- 01:04:26,080 --> 01:04:27,047
- You ran?
- 985
- 01:04:27,120 --> 01:04:29,805
- Yeah. I can move like ajack-rabbit
- if I have to.
- 986
- 01:04:29,880 --> 01:04:33,726
- -So he didn't catch you?
- -No, no. He's 600 pounds.
- 987
- 01:04:33,840 --> 01:04:36,047
- He's not exactly a track star.
- 988
- 01:04:36,120 --> 01:04:39,681
- He's cruising around now in his red
- pickup truck looking for me.
- 989
- 01:04:39,760 --> 01:04:44,163
- I been running through back yards,
- clothes lines, all sorts of shit.
- 990
- 01:04:44,800 --> 01:04:47,201
- -Well, you're safe now.
- -This guy is...
- 991
- 01:04:47,320 --> 01:04:48,685
- (HORN HONKS)
- 992
- 01:04:49,920 --> 01:04:51,126
- Red pickup!
- 993
- 01:04:53,000 --> 01:04:54,331
- And there's another one!
- 994
- 01:04:54,440 --> 01:04:56,363
- Come on, Bryson, we need a plan!
- 995
- 01:04:56,440 --> 01:04:59,330
- Why don't you go out and talk to the guy,
- huh? I'm sure he's reasonable.
- 996
- 01:05:01,160 --> 01:05:02,321
- That's your plan?
- 997
- 01:05:02,760 --> 01:05:05,570
- (CHUCKLING) I don't need a plan.
- I'm not being chased.
- 998
- 01:05:06,360 --> 01:05:08,806
- Now, come on, Bryson,
- we gotta get outta here.
- 999
- 01:05:08,880 --> 01:05:11,326
- -Yeah.
- -Come on, don't mess around with me.
- 1000
- 01:05:11,800 --> 01:05:13,006
- Please?
- 1001
- 01:05:14,080 --> 01:05:15,411
- -Come on!
- -Yeah, yeah.
- 1002
- 01:05:26,640 --> 01:05:27,971
- (FAKE ACCENT)
- Hey buddy, you in there?
- 1003
- 01:05:29,520 --> 01:05:33,161
- It's Bubba T. Flubbal Are you in there, boy?
- Come out, you chicken shit!
- 1004
- 01:05:33,320 --> 01:05:35,482
- KATZ: Come on! Don't mess around!
- 1005
- 01:05:41,040 --> 01:05:42,087
- (CAR Al=>l=>RoACHING)
- 1006
- 01:05:42,160 --> 01:05:43,207
- (TIREs sCREECHING)
- 1007
- 01:05:52,040 --> 01:05:53,041
- MAN: Open up!
- 1008
- 01:05:53,120 --> 01:05:55,441
- I know you're in there, you son of a bitch!
- 1009
- 01:05:55,720 --> 01:05:56,767
- Holy shit.
- 1010
- 01:05:57,080 --> 01:05:58,206
- He's here!
- 1011
- 01:05:58,360 --> 01:05:59,885
- MAN: I don't care where the hell you are,
- 1012
- 01:05:59,960 --> 01:06:01,883
- I'll knock every one
- of these damned doors down!
- 1013
- 01:06:02,240 --> 01:06:05,210
- Come on, I know you're in here somewhere,
- you son of a bitch!
- 1014
- 01:06:06,600 --> 01:06:09,729
- I don't care where you are,
- I'm gonna find you!
- 1015
- 01:06:10,000 --> 01:06:13,163
- I want to know who's been messing
- with my Beulah!
- 1016
- 01:06:13,280 --> 01:06:15,681
- -Bring your ass out here!
- -Come on, Bryson!
- 1017
- 01:06:15,880 --> 01:06:17,882
- Pull me through! He's at the door!
- 1018
- 01:06:18,200 --> 01:06:20,089
- -(l=>ouNDING AT DOOR)
- -(BOTH GRUNTING)
- 1019
- 01:06:21,680 --> 01:06:23,125
- Open the goddamned door!
- 1020
- 01:06:23,360 --> 01:06:24,691
- BRYSON: Come on, move it! Move it!
- 1021
- 01:06:24,920 --> 01:06:26,490
- (POUNDING CONTINUES)
- 1022
- 01:06:37,200 --> 01:06:38,884
- (KATZ LAuGHING)
- 1023
- 01:06:39,440 --> 01:06:42,410
- KATZ: But what about Basel?
- When we stole the boat?
- 1024
- 01:06:42,800 --> 01:06:45,041
- BRYSON: (LAUGHING) We didn't steal
- the boat, we borrowed the boat.
- 1025
- 01:06:45,120 --> 01:06:50,001
- KATZ: Yes, well, the girl's uncle
- with the shotgun, he saw it differently.
- 1026
- 01:06:50,600 --> 01:06:51,761
- BRYSON: He sure did.
- 1027
- 01:06:52,960 --> 01:06:55,008
- (MELLOW SONG PLAYING)
- 1028
- 01:07:29,520 --> 01:07:31,090
- (BOTH LAuGHING)
- 1029
- 01:07:31,160 --> 01:07:33,527
- KATZ: You know,
- you missed out in Greece.
- 1030
- 01:07:34,640 --> 01:07:36,210
- BRYSON; rd kind of had my fill by that point.
- 1031
- 01:07:36,600 --> 01:07:39,968
- When you said you were gonna go
- to England, I thought you'd last,
- 1032
- 01:07:40,360 --> 01:07:41,725
- one week. Tops.
- 1033
- 01:07:42,400 --> 01:07:44,129
- -Well, I meta gal.
- -Yeah.
- 1034
- 01:07:44,200 --> 01:07:45,201
- And that was that.
- 1035
- 01:07:46,640 --> 01:07:48,130
- Well... Yeah, thank you.
- 1036
- 01:07:50,320 --> 01:07:55,121
- Cathy seems great. But obviously
- you've been with other women.
- 1037
- 01:07:59,280 --> 01:08:00,406
- Never?
- 1038
- 01:08:01,320 --> 01:08:02,685
- In the last 40 years?
- 1039
- 01:08:03,000 --> 01:08:04,047
- Nope.
- 1040
- 01:08:07,160 --> 01:08:08,969
- (LAuGHING)
- 1041
- 01:08:09,160 --> 01:08:12,562
- Bullshit, you son of a bitch.
- 1042
- 01:08:12,920 --> 01:08:17,482
- I saw you undress that proprietress
- six ways to Sunday.
- 1043
- 01:08:17,640 --> 01:08:20,371
- -You can't tell me you didn't.
- -Well...
- 1044
- 01:08:21,520 --> 01:08:23,329
- One woman all these years?
- 1045
- 01:08:24,440 --> 01:08:25,487
- Yep.
- 1046
- 01:08:25,680 --> 01:08:27,409
- That can't be good for you.
- 1047
- 01:08:28,360 --> 01:08:29,691
- (LAUGHS)
- 1048
- 01:08:31,360 --> 01:08:34,364
- I mean, when was the last time
- that you even got a, uh...
- 1049
- 01:08:36,880 --> 01:08:40,805
- Well, never mind.
- I know how married women are.
- 1050
- 01:08:41,640 --> 01:08:42,880
- Really? Is that so?
- 1051
- 01:08:43,040 --> 01:08:47,443
- Yeah. Trust me. I've been with way more
- married women than you have.
- 1052
- 01:09:01,840 --> 01:09:03,569
- (LEAVES RUSTLING)
- 1053
- 01:09:09,880 --> 01:09:12,087
- (RUSTLING CONTINUES)
- 1054
- 01:09:13,360 --> 01:09:16,284
- Hey, Katz, you awake?
- 1055
- 01:09:18,400 --> 01:09:20,209
- -KATZZ NO.
- -(RUSTLING CONTINUES)
- 1056
- 01:09:20,400 --> 01:09:21,401
- What was that?
- 1057
- 01:09:22,320 --> 01:09:24,209
- How the hell should I know?
- 1058
- 01:09:24,320 --> 01:09:25,685
- (SNUFFLING)
- 1059
- 01:09:26,400 --> 01:09:27,765
- It sounded big.
- 1060
- 01:09:27,960 --> 01:09:31,089
- Everything sounds big
- in the woods, Bryson.
- 1061
- 01:09:31,680 --> 01:09:34,331
- It's probably just a skunk. Go to bed.
- 1062
- 01:09:39,200 --> 01:09:40,281
- Did you pack a knife?
- 1063
- 01:09:41,560 --> 01:09:42,641
- No.
- 1064
- 01:09:42,760 --> 01:09:43,921
- BRYSON: Nothing sharp?
- 1065
- 01:09:45,640 --> 01:09:47,768
- (SIGHING) Nail clippers.
- 1066
- 01:09:47,840 --> 01:09:49,251
- <scoFFs> Swell.
- 1067
- 01:09:50,000 --> 01:09:52,924
- KATZ: Just leave it alone, Bryson.
- It will go away.
- 1068
- 01:09:54,560 --> 01:09:56,244
- Oh, yeah, well if it is a bear
- and it comes toward you,
- 1069
- 01:09:56,320 --> 01:09:58,209
- what are you going to do?
- Give it a pedicure?
- 1070
- 01:10:00,080 --> 01:10:03,243
- Jesus! Two fucking bears
- staring right at me.
- 1071
- 01:10:03,600 --> 01:10:06,365
- Oh, god dammit, Bryson, get some sleep.
- 1072
- 01:10:06,760 --> 01:10:08,285
- (BEARS GRUNTING)
- 1073
- 01:10:08,360 --> 01:10:09,441
- Holy shit.
- 1074
- 01:10:10,120 --> 01:10:11,281
- (GRovvLING)
- 1075
- 01:10:11,360 --> 01:10:14,125
- If they come for us, play dead.
- 1076
- 01:10:14,360 --> 01:10:16,806
- KATZ: If they come for us, we are dead.
- 1077
- 01:10:17,240 --> 01:10:18,651
- No, wait, wait, wait.
- 1078
- 01:10:20,120 --> 01:10:21,531
- That's grizzlies. Wait a minute.
- 1079
- 01:10:21,960 --> 01:10:24,406
- KATZ: IVIotherfuck
- They're tearing everything apart.
- 1080
- 01:10:25,120 --> 01:10:28,283
- Okay. "Stand up as tall as you can
- to intimidate the bear."
- 1081
- 01:10:28,880 --> 01:10:32,043
- Intimidate the bear? They're fucking bears!
- 1082
- 01:10:35,240 --> 01:10:36,810
- BRYSON: We've got to scare them off.
- 1083
- 01:10:36,960 --> 01:10:38,291
- Get! Scat!
- 1084
- 01:10:38,440 --> 01:10:40,647
- (BOTH YELUNG)
- 1085
- 01:10:41,160 --> 01:10:42,286
- (PLAYS HARlvloNICA)
- 1086
- 01:10:42,640 --> 01:10:44,130
- (ROARS)
- 1087
- 01:10:44,200 --> 01:10:46,009
- <sHouTING)
- 1088
- 01:10:46,640 --> 01:10:48,210
- (RoARING)
- 1089
- 01:10:48,560 --> 01:10:50,210
- (YELUNG)
- 1090
- 01:11:00,000 --> 01:11:02,128
- (BREATHING HEAVILY)
- 1091
- 01:11:09,680 --> 01:11:11,364
- You gotta put this in the book.
- 1092
- 01:11:11,640 --> 01:11:14,211
- -There's not going to be a goddamned book.
- -Oh.
- 1093
- 01:11:37,160 --> 01:11:39,242
- (THUNDER RUMBLING)
- 1094
- 01:11:43,840 --> 01:11:46,366
- Jeez_ Damn.
- 1095
- 01:11:52,720 --> 01:11:54,802
- (GRUNTING)
- 1096
- 01:11:57,560 --> 01:11:59,244
- Come on, we're having fun.
- 1097
- 01:12:01,400 --> 01:12:02,686
- Holy shit.
- 1098
- 01:12:03,920 --> 01:12:05,729
- -Look at this.
- -What?
- 1099
- 01:12:06,040 --> 01:12:07,769
- KATZ: This is the trail.
- 1100
- 01:12:08,400 --> 01:12:11,722
- Here we are. We're not even halfway there.
- 1101
- 01:12:11,800 --> 01:12:13,928
- -This can't be right.
- -Son of a bitch.
- 1102
- 01:12:14,160 --> 01:12:15,605
- No way that's to scale.
- 1103
- 01:12:16,080 --> 01:12:18,606
- It says, "IVIap to Scale".
- 1104
- 01:12:19,920 --> 01:12:21,888
- That's it. New plan.
- 1105
- 01:12:23,160 --> 01:12:24,685
- God damn it.
- 1106
- 01:12:28,480 --> 01:12:29,811
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- 1107
- 01:12:30,120 --> 01:12:33,203
- KATZ: I'm telling you, Bryson,
- there's a lot of advantages.
- 1108
- 01:12:35,680 --> 01:12:37,728
- You want to drive the Appalachian Trail?
- 1109
- 01:12:37,800 --> 01:12:41,725
- No, no, justjump ahead.
- Pick up the trail a little further north.
- 1110
- 01:12:42,440 --> 01:12:46,126
- You know, we can rent a car over here.
- 1111
- 01:12:46,440 --> 01:12:48,408
- Then we're mobile, we'll see more.
- 1112
- 01:12:49,440 --> 01:12:51,602
- Check out local points of interest.
- 1113
- 01:12:53,880 --> 01:12:55,723
- Bigger field of vision.
- 1114
- 01:12:59,440 --> 01:13:02,649
- Bryson, as a friend,
- 1115
- 01:13:03,840 --> 01:13:05,888
- do this for me.
- 1116
- 01:13:25,320 --> 01:13:27,368
- (KATZ LAuGHING)
- 1117
- 01:13:29,040 --> 01:13:32,442
- Hey, you're not gonna believe the deal
- I got on this.
- 1118
- 01:13:33,800 --> 01:13:34,801
- Katz...
- 1119
- 01:13:34,880 --> 01:13:38,123
- This beauty represents not one,
- but two upgrades.
- 1120
- 01:13:38,280 --> 01:13:43,286
- Satellite radio, leather seats, sunroof.
- Same price as a Camry.
- 1121
- 01:13:43,640 --> 01:13:44,687
- If you can believe that.
- 1122
- 01:13:44,760 --> 01:13:47,366
- Here you go, IVIr. Katz. Just three quick
- initials and you'll be on your way.
- 1123
- 01:13:47,440 --> 01:13:48,726
- We can't do this.
- 1124
- 01:13:49,440 --> 01:13:51,010
- Of course we can.
- 1125
- 01:13:51,120 --> 01:13:52,690
- I came out here to accomplish something.
- 1126
- 01:13:52,840 --> 01:13:54,842
- Not to just give up
- when things got a little tough.
- 1127
- 01:13:55,800 --> 01:13:57,962
- We're not giving up, Bryson.
- 1128
- 01:13:58,960 --> 01:14:01,850
- What does it matter
- if we skip the shitty parts?
- 1129
- 01:14:02,520 --> 01:14:04,443
- -No one's gonna know.
- -Well, lwill_
- 1130
- 01:14:04,960 --> 01:14:06,849
- I'm not a quitter.
- I know it served you well in your life,
- 1131
- 01:14:07,040 --> 01:14:09,327
- -but I finish what I start.
- -Bryson.
- 1132
- 01:14:10,440 --> 01:14:13,364
- -Did we not both see the same map?
- -Yeah.
- 1133
- 01:14:13,840 --> 01:14:17,208
- You have no chance of finishing this trail.
- 1134
- 01:14:17,520 --> 01:14:20,126
- None. Zero. Zilch.
- 1135
- 01:14:20,200 --> 01:14:21,690
- Well, I'm sure as hell gonna try.
- 1136
- 01:14:22,240 --> 01:14:24,368
- Hike until you die.
- 1137
- 01:14:24,840 --> 01:14:26,046
- Where do I sign up?
- 1138
- 01:14:27,040 --> 01:14:31,170
- We're two old men, Bryson.
- You gotta quit thinking otherwise.
- 1139
- 01:14:31,320 --> 01:14:32,401
- Speak for yourself.
- 1140
- 01:14:33,320 --> 01:14:37,211
- Just because you don't accept something,
- Bryson, doesn't mean it's not true.
- 1141
- 01:14:37,440 --> 01:14:40,330
- -Well, that's interesting, coming from you.
- -Just three initials is all...
- 1142
- 01:14:40,400 --> 01:14:41,845
- It's everything with you, Bryson.
- 1143
- 01:14:41,920 --> 01:14:45,561
- Christ, if someone asks you
- where you're from, you can't even answer.
- 1144
- 01:14:46,880 --> 01:14:48,928
- Oh, so I'm the one in denial, huh?
- 1145
- 01:14:49,080 --> 01:14:51,651
- When you're the one
- hiding whiskey in your pack.
- 1146
- 01:14:51,840 --> 01:14:52,921
- -Oh.
- -I saw the bottle.
- 1147
- 01:14:53,400 --> 01:14:56,404
- So I guess neither of us
- can accept who we really are.
- 1148
- 01:14:56,880 --> 01:14:59,531
- Oh, I know who I am and why I'm here.
- 1149
- 01:15:00,600 --> 01:15:02,250
- I came out here to be with you,
- 1150
- 01:15:02,320 --> 01:15:05,244
- to sneak in one last adventure
- before it's too late.
- 1151
- 01:15:05,520 --> 01:15:07,761
- Well, this is my adventure,
- and you signed on.
- 1152
- 01:15:08,560 --> 01:15:11,450
- You can do whatever you want,
- but you're not going to drag me down.
- 1153
- 01:15:12,240 --> 01:15:14,288
- -If you could just use that pen to sign...
- -(SHOUTS) Fine!
- 1154
- 01:15:14,400 --> 01:15:16,402
- -I don't want your car.
- -Excuse me?
- 1155
- 01:15:16,600 --> 01:15:19,080
- I don't want your goddamn car.
- 1156
- 01:15:20,960 --> 01:15:22,371
- Fine!
- 1157
- 01:15:23,600 --> 01:15:26,251
- -Well, that's the spirit.
- -Yeah. Fuck.
- 1158
- 01:15:27,400 --> 01:15:28,640
- (KATZ GRUMBLES)
- 1159
- 01:15:32,680 --> 01:15:35,411
- KATZ: I sure am glad
- we aren't driving right now.
- 1160
- 01:15:36,120 --> 01:15:38,088
- -You?
- -BRYSON: I couldn't be happier.
- 1161
- 01:15:38,280 --> 01:15:39,486
- (KATZ sCoFFING)
- 1162
- 01:15:41,760 --> 01:15:43,250
- You know, 50 years ago,
- 1163
- 01:15:44,640 --> 01:15:47,803
- one in every four of these trees
- was an American Chestnut.
- 1164
- 01:15:48,400 --> 01:15:50,971
- -You know what that is? You ever seen one?
- -I think so.
- 1165
- 01:15:51,800 --> 01:15:53,086
- It's incredible.
- 1166
- 01:15:53,240 --> 01:15:56,722
- They rise from the forest floor,
- clear to the top. 100 feet.
- 1167
- 01:15:57,040 --> 01:16:00,283
- And their branches contain
- an acre of leaves. An acre.
- 1168
- 01:16:01,320 --> 01:16:02,845
- You look into these woods
- 1169
- 01:16:03,120 --> 01:16:05,441
- and you think they've always been there
- and always will be,
- 1170
- 01:16:05,640 --> 01:16:07,404
- like this old oak tree here.
- 1171
- 01:16:07,800 --> 01:16:10,849
- And then you think about
- the poor unsuspecting American Chestnut,
- 1172
- 01:16:12,120 --> 01:16:15,727
- and thinkjust in a lifetime... Poof. Gone.
- Just like that.
- 1173
- 01:16:19,000 --> 01:16:20,161
- What happened to it?
- 1174
- 01:16:20,920 --> 01:16:22,081
- A fungus.
- 1175
- 01:16:23,080 --> 01:16:25,321
- You know. Just, you know, time. Nature.
- 1176
- 01:16:39,560 --> 01:16:41,528
- (MELLOW SONG PLAYING)
- 1177
- 01:17:49,480 --> 01:17:50,766
- (KATZ slGHING)
- 1178
- 01:17:59,600 --> 01:18:02,922
- You know, Bryson,
- I wasn't actually hiding this.
- 1179
- 01:18:04,520 --> 01:18:06,921
- I wasn't lying about being dry either.
- 1180
- 01:18:10,000 --> 01:18:15,211
- The thing is, Bryson, I love to drink.
- Everything about it.
- 1181
- 01:18:16,280 --> 01:18:18,089
- I love the taste.
- 1182
- 01:18:18,960 --> 01:18:21,850
- And that buzz you get
- after you've had a couple.
- 1183
- 01:18:22,280 --> 01:18:25,921
- I love the smell of the tavern,
- right down to the urinal cakes.
- 1184
- 01:18:26,320 --> 01:18:27,446
- Hmm.
- 1185
- 01:18:27,760 --> 01:18:31,128
- But instead of going into the taverns
- like everybody else,
- 1186
- 01:18:31,960 --> 01:18:35,726
- I go home to my little apartment,
- and heat my TV dinner,
- 1187
- 01:18:36,120 --> 01:18:39,090
- and feel all virtuous like I'm supposed to.
- 1188
- 01:18:40,280 --> 01:18:41,441
- (slGHs)
- 1189
- 01:18:41,640 --> 01:18:45,122
- But you know, night after night
- it's hard to persuade yourself
- 1190
- 01:18:45,240 --> 01:18:48,961
- that you're living a rich
- and thrilling existence.
- 1191
- 01:18:51,560 --> 01:18:54,131
- I mean, if they had a fun-o-meter
- 1192
- 01:18:54,600 --> 01:18:58,924
- the needle wouldn't exactly be jumping
- into the orgasmic zone.
- 1193
- 01:18:59,600 --> 01:19:01,250
- You know what I'm saying?
- 1194
- 01:19:02,000 --> 01:19:03,081
- (slGHs)
- 1195
- 01:19:05,320 --> 01:19:09,848
- I mean, there's just this hole in my life
- where drinking used to be.
- 1196
- 01:19:11,040 --> 01:19:12,280
- (slGHING HEAvlLY)
- 1197
- 01:19:12,680 --> 01:19:14,523
- I know I can't drink.
- 1198
- 01:19:15,960 --> 01:19:18,088
- I mean, one drink will lead to 10.
- 1199
- 01:19:19,320 --> 01:19:24,360
- And the next thing, I'll find myself
- underneath a bridge somewhere.
- 1200
- 01:19:32,280 --> 01:19:35,170
- That's why I carry this.
- 1201
- 01:19:35,320 --> 01:19:38,051
- To remind myself that I can.
- 1202
- 01:19:40,640 --> 01:19:44,361
- Or maybe I carry it in case I can't.
- 1203
- 01:19:46,640 --> 01:19:47,721
- HSFS.
- 1204
- 01:19:49,360 --> 01:19:50,361
- Open it.
- 1205
- 01:19:57,360 --> 01:19:58,805
- It's sealed.
- 1206
- 01:20:04,440 --> 01:20:05,680
- Give it to me.
- 1207
- 01:20:09,560 --> 01:20:11,005
- (CHUCKLING) it's shaking.
- 1208
- 01:20:13,960 --> 01:20:15,849
- (sNIFFING)
- 1209
- 01:20:17,680 --> 01:20:18,886
- (EXHALES DEEPLY)
- 1210
- 01:20:23,400 --> 01:20:25,164
- Do you think I have it in me
- 1211
- 01:20:25,240 --> 01:20:28,403
- to never have another drink
- for the rest of my life?
- 1212
- 01:20:32,280 --> 01:20:33,566
- Yeah. I do.
- 1213
- 01:20:37,560 --> 01:20:39,244
- (PouRING)
- 1214
- 01:20:46,600 --> 01:20:47,931
- (slGHs)
- 1215
- 01:20:49,000 --> 01:20:50,525
- That was a nice moment.
- 1216
- 01:20:51,440 --> 01:20:53,283
- Real dramatic. (CHUCKLING)
- 1217
- 01:20:55,760 --> 01:20:58,286
- Christ if I don't already regret it.
- 1218
- 01:21:00,480 --> 01:21:01,891
- BRYSONI Ain't that life.
- 1219
- 01:21:02,840 --> 01:21:04,604
- (BOTH CHUCKLING)
- 1220
- 01:21:17,800 --> 01:21:19,564
- -Watch it.
- -(STONES CLATTERING)
- 1221
- 01:21:24,400 --> 01:21:29,327
- You know, Bryson, I still dream
- about Amorina. You remember her?
- 1222
- 01:21:29,800 --> 01:21:32,963
- BRYSON: Oh, God, can't forget a girl like that.
- 1223
- 01:21:34,320 --> 01:21:37,403
- You know guys like us aren't supposed
- to meet women named Amorina
- 1224
- 01:21:38,280 --> 01:21:39,805
- Disturbs the natural order.
- 1225
- 01:21:41,120 --> 01:21:45,330
- Still the best boobs I've ever seen,
- and I've seen a lot of boobs, Bryson.
- 1226
- 01:21:45,440 --> 01:21:46,566
- BRYSONI Yeah, I'll bet.
- 1227
- 01:21:48,560 --> 01:21:50,005
- Hey, you remember her sister?
- 1228
- 01:21:50,400 --> 01:21:53,643
- Oh, God, that poor girl.
- They couldn't have been sisters.
- 1229
- 01:21:54,240 --> 01:21:56,208
- If you're going to be ugly,
- you better be funny.
- 1230
- 01:21:56,320 --> 01:21:58,527
- And if you're ugly and you're not funny,
- you better have money.
- 1231
- 01:21:58,840 --> 01:22:02,526
- And if you're zero for three,
- you better be slutty.
- 1232
- 01:22:02,680 --> 01:22:03,966
- (CHUCKUNG)
- 1233
- 01:22:04,320 --> 01:22:08,370
- -She was.
- -Wait a minute, how did you know that, huh?
- 1234
- 01:22:08,560 --> 01:22:09,721
- Well, actually...
- 1235
- 01:22:10,720 --> 01:22:11,801
- (SCREAMS)
- 1236
- 01:22:11,880 --> 01:22:13,325
- (BOTH GRuNTING)
- 1237
- 01:22:16,520 --> 01:22:18,249
- (GRO/\NING)
- 1238
- 01:22:28,040 --> 01:22:29,530
- KATZ: Jesus Christ.
- 1239
- 01:22:31,360 --> 01:22:34,842
- Next time you do that, let me know, okay?
- 1240
- 01:22:36,400 --> 01:22:38,050
- It's more fun if it's a surprise.
- 1241
- 01:22:41,680 --> 01:22:42,966
- -You all right?
- -You okay?
- 1242
- 01:22:43,040 --> 01:22:44,166
- Yeah.
- 1243
- 01:22:45,640 --> 01:22:47,722
- (BREATHING HEAVILY)
- 1244
- 01:22:52,200 --> 01:22:53,486
- Jesus.
- 1245
- 01:23:09,000 --> 01:23:10,206
- Oh...
- 1246
- 01:23:16,880 --> 01:23:18,166
- We are fucked.
- 1247
- 01:23:19,920 --> 01:23:21,410
- IVIonumentally
- 1248
- 01:23:28,920 --> 01:23:30,490
- There's no way out over here.
- 1249
- 01:23:34,320 --> 01:23:35,560
- Uh...
- 1250
- 01:23:35,760 --> 01:23:38,127
- -What are you doing?
- -I'm gonna get us out of here.
- 1251
- 01:23:41,480 --> 01:23:43,209
- -Give me your pants.
- -Uh,no,no.
- 1252
- 01:23:43,920 --> 01:23:45,809
- You've been planning this
- the whole time, Bryson.
- 1253
- 01:23:45,880 --> 01:23:47,848
- Just give me your pants, okay?
- 1254
- 01:23:49,440 --> 01:23:50,601
- Okay.
- 1255
- 01:23:51,040 --> 01:23:52,451
- (GRUNTING)
- 1256
- 01:24:05,960 --> 01:24:08,531
- Okay. Knot this thing.
- 1257
- 01:24:12,480 --> 01:24:13,811
- -KATZ: All right?
- -Okay.
- 1258
- 01:24:14,760 --> 01:24:15,886
- Here we go.
- 1259
- 01:24:23,600 --> 01:24:26,570
- It is embarrassing, Bryson.
- Give me that thing.
- 1260
- 01:24:35,000 --> 01:24:36,286
- (YELLS)
- 1261
- 01:24:41,440 --> 01:24:43,807
- You gotta admit,
- pretty good aim, though, huh?
- 1262
- 01:24:44,840 --> 01:24:47,810
- Yeah. But you're supposed to hold on
- to one end of it.
- 1263
- 01:24:48,360 --> 01:24:52,445
- Well, you know, it's not that high.
- 1264
- 01:24:53,240 --> 01:24:56,050
- Here, I got it. You see this?
- You could come up here.
- 1265
- 01:24:56,240 --> 01:24:59,562
- I'll be around like this
- and you could climb up on my shoulders.
- 1266
- 01:25:01,360 --> 01:25:03,010
- -Wanna try it?
- -Okay.
- 1267
- 01:25:06,120 --> 01:25:07,167
- Okay. Hang on.
- 1268
- 01:25:11,880 --> 01:25:12,961
- (BRYSON GRU NTS)
- 1269
- 01:25:13,040 --> 01:25:14,041
- -Okay?
- -Yeah.
- 1270
- 01:25:14,120 --> 01:25:15,724
- We can make it. Hold...
- 1271
- 01:25:16,360 --> 01:25:19,409
- -You all right? What?
- -Yeah, hang on. You know...
- 1272
- 01:25:20,800 --> 01:25:24,521
- This isn't... You've got to get lower,
- so I can get on your shoulders.
- 1273
- 01:25:26,800 --> 01:25:28,211
- Fuck. Fine.
- 1274
- 01:25:29,160 --> 01:25:30,650
- (BRYSON CLEARS THROAT)
- 1275
- 01:25:32,920 --> 01:25:34,251
- (GRUNTS)
- 1276
- 01:25:34,880 --> 01:25:35,881
- Okay.
- 1277
- 01:25:36,000 --> 01:25:37,161
- -Okay?
- -Yeah.
- 1278
- 01:25:38,680 --> 01:25:41,923
- Okay. There we go.
- 1279
- 01:25:44,240 --> 01:25:46,561
- Bryson, I really don't like this.
- 1280
- 01:25:46,680 --> 01:25:49,763
- No, no, it's good, it's good.
- Now, you stand up. Stand up.
- 1281
- 01:25:53,880 --> 01:25:55,166
- (GRUNTS)
- 1282
- 01:25:57,280 --> 01:25:58,520
- Jesus!
- 1283
- 01:25:59,560 --> 01:26:00,721
- Who are we kidding?
- 1284
- 01:26:00,840 --> 01:26:04,561
- For Christ's sake,
- I can't even get myself up from that position.
- 1285
- 01:26:04,800 --> 01:26:08,043
- -All right, then. I'll stand on your back.
- -How about I stand on your back?
- 1286
- 01:26:14,160 --> 01:26:15,366
- You know,
- 1287
- 01:26:16,560 --> 01:26:17,971
- I think we're really stuck here.
- 1288
- 01:26:20,240 --> 01:26:22,083
- Yeah. Yeah, we are.
- 1289
- 01:26:26,960 --> 01:26:28,883
- BRYSON: You know, on the East coast
- hardwoods are dying.
- 1290
- 01:26:31,120 --> 01:26:33,122
- Not just the chestnut,
- 1291
- 01:26:33,720 --> 01:26:35,882
- but the elm's on its way, too, you know.
- 1292
- 01:26:37,920 --> 01:26:40,366
- Fifty years, this could all be gone.
- 1293
- 01:26:42,160 --> 01:26:43,764
- Thirty days.
- 1294
- 01:26:44,960 --> 01:26:46,086
- Hmm?
- 1295
- 01:26:46,160 --> 01:26:50,290
- Thirty days in jail. I was afraid of 30 days.
- 1296
- 01:26:51,000 --> 01:26:53,446
- (SIGHS) Compared to this,
- 1297
- 01:26:54,560 --> 01:26:58,042
- I mean, it's like a goddamned trip
- to the spa.
- 1298
- 01:27:02,800 --> 01:27:06,043
- God, all I've done is write forewords
- for books
- 1299
- 01:27:06,120 --> 01:27:07,531
- for the last four and a half years.
- 1300
- 01:27:09,160 --> 01:27:10,321
- I should have just retired.
- 1301
- 01:27:10,400 --> 01:27:13,165
- Catherine was right,
- what the hell am I trying to prove?
- 1302
- 01:27:15,280 --> 01:27:18,648
- Women love a felony record.
- 1303
- 01:27:20,200 --> 01:27:24,171
- Maybe not up in New Hampshire,
- where you are.
- 1304
- 01:27:25,280 --> 01:27:29,046
- But in Des Moines,
- it would have served me well.
- 1305
- 01:27:29,960 --> 01:27:31,325
- Do you just get to the point where
- 1306
- 01:27:32,320 --> 01:27:36,006
- it's all about ailments,
- and medications, and funerals,
- 1307
- 01:27:36,680 --> 01:27:39,126
- and who's being diagnosed with what,
- 1308
- 01:27:40,400 --> 01:27:42,846
- and everyone's just waiting around
- for the end.
- 1309
- 01:27:44,160 --> 01:27:45,969
- -Holy shit.
- -What?
- 1310
- 01:27:46,040 --> 01:27:49,886
- I just realized, we're the guy in the article.
- 1311
- 01:27:51,240 --> 01:27:55,370
- You know, the, uh, decomposed guy.
- Remember that?
- 1312
- 01:27:56,040 --> 01:27:57,405
- That'll be us.
- 1313
- 01:27:58,120 --> 01:28:00,771
- How long does it take a body
- to decompose?
- 1314
- 01:28:01,640 --> 01:28:03,404
- Well, you don't have to worry.
- 1315
- 01:28:03,640 --> 01:28:07,087
- You're so chock-full of preservatives,
- you'll be on this ledge forever.
- 1316
- 01:28:07,160 --> 01:28:08,889
- (CHUCKUNG)
- 1317
- 01:28:09,280 --> 01:28:13,922
- Well, scientists will come from
- all over the world to study me, you know.
- 1318
- 01:28:15,480 --> 01:28:16,891
- I miss Catherine.
- 1319
- 01:28:17,360 --> 01:28:19,169
- I miss Des Moines.
- 1320
- 01:28:19,720 --> 01:28:23,884
- You know, I haven't missed a State Fair
- in 39 years.
- 1321
- 01:28:25,880 --> 01:28:29,248
- I always say, "When I miss one,
- 1322
- 01:28:31,240 --> 01:28:32,526
- "I'll be dead."
- 1323
- 01:28:32,600 --> 01:28:35,683
- You know, she makes this little sound
- whenever I hug her.
- 1324
- 01:28:35,760 --> 01:28:37,524
- I don't even think she knows it.
- 1325
- 01:28:39,200 --> 01:28:42,443
- I've never told her how much I love that.
- 1326
- 01:28:46,320 --> 01:28:50,405
- I just don't want her to think this trip
- had anything to do with her.
- 1327
- 01:28:51,800 --> 01:28:53,245
- She knows.
- 1328
- 01:28:54,640 --> 01:28:58,361
- Believe me, women have a way
- of knowing these things.
- 1329
- 01:28:59,240 --> 01:29:01,129
- Yeah, but still, I'd like to tell her.
- 1330
- 01:29:03,760 --> 01:29:05,569
- Well, write her a note.
- 1331
- 01:29:06,920 --> 01:29:08,809
- People love to get notes.
- 1332
- 01:29:11,760 --> 01:29:13,489
- -Hey, you know, you're right.
- -Yeah.
- 1333
- 01:29:14,960 --> 01:29:16,371
- Hey, that's a great idea.
- 1334
- 01:29:24,120 --> 01:29:25,451
- (PEN CLICKs)
- 1335
- 01:29:26,080 --> 01:29:31,291
- You know, Bryson, you're the only guy
- I'd risk my life with.
- 1336
- 01:29:33,120 --> 01:29:34,610
- I want you to know that.
- 1337
- 01:29:38,320 --> 01:29:42,325
- And the only asshole who can get me out
- on a ledge in the middle of nowhere.
- 1338
- 01:29:42,640 --> 01:29:43,971
- (CHUCKLES)
- 1339
- 01:29:46,960 --> 01:29:48,644
- I'm sorry we lost touch.
- 1340
- 01:29:52,520 --> 01:29:54,329
- I know. Yeah, me too.
- 1341
- 01:30:03,360 --> 01:30:06,011
- Goddamned gorgeous night.
- 1342
- 01:30:09,560 --> 01:30:11,005
- It sure is.
- 1343
- 01:30:11,840 --> 01:30:14,320
- KATZ: You think
- there's anyone else on Earth
- 1344
- 01:30:15,000 --> 01:30:18,846
- looking up at the sky and seeing
- as many stars as we are?
- 1345
- 01:30:20,120 --> 01:30:21,360
- I don't know.
- 1346
- 01:30:24,960 --> 01:30:27,281
- I gotta be looking at a million.
- 1347
- 01:30:29,640 --> 01:30:31,802
- The naked eye can see 2,000.
- 1348
- 01:30:34,120 --> 01:30:38,250
- Well, then I really got great eyes
- 'cause I'm looking at a million.
- 1349
- 01:30:40,360 --> 01:30:43,728
- Alpha Centauri's the closest.
- That's four and a half light years away.
- 1350
- 01:30:45,000 --> 01:30:47,082
- Four and a half? That's not bad.
- 1351
- 01:30:47,480 --> 01:30:50,484
- Each light year is six trillion miles,
- so that's...
- 1352
- 01:30:52,160 --> 01:30:54,208
- Twenty six trillion miles.
- 1353
- 01:30:55,200 --> 01:30:58,682
- -Twenty-six trillion. That's the closest?
- -Yep.
- 1354
- 01:30:59,520 --> 01:31:03,320
- And there's one hundred billion stars
- in our galaxy.
- 1355
- 01:31:04,720 --> 01:31:08,088
- There's more galaxies in the universe
- than there are grains of sand on earth.
- 1356
- 01:31:10,000 --> 01:31:11,445
- That is big.
- 1357
- 01:31:16,880 --> 01:31:19,201
- -And we are small.
- -Yeah.
- 1358
- 01:31:34,920 --> 01:31:37,082
- (BIRDS cl-llRl=~lNG)
- 1359
- 01:31:39,760 --> 01:31:40,921
- (PEBBLES CLATTERING)
- 1360
- 01:31:41,920 --> 01:31:43,160
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- 1361
- 01:31:44,200 --> 01:31:45,406
- What the...
- 1362
- 01:31:47,080 --> 01:31:48,366
- People?
- 1363
- 01:31:49,440 --> 01:31:51,920
- People? People?
- 1364
- 01:31:53,160 --> 01:31:54,605
- -People?
- -People?
- 1365
- 01:31:55,520 --> 01:31:56,646
- (GRUNTS)
- 1366
- 01:31:57,560 --> 01:31:58,800
- People! Hello!
- 1367
- 01:31:59,280 --> 01:32:01,931
- -Hello! Hello, down here!
- -Hello!
- 1368
- 01:32:02,440 --> 01:32:03,965
- Help, please!
- 1369
- 01:32:05,080 --> 01:32:06,127
- Help!
- 1370
- 01:32:11,640 --> 01:32:12,926
- Hey, down there.
- 1371
- 01:32:14,120 --> 01:32:15,201
- You've got to be shitting me.
- 1372
- 01:32:16,240 --> 01:32:17,446
- What happened to your pants?
- 1373
- 01:32:18,640 --> 01:32:21,291
- -Uh, it's a long story.
- -MAN: Copy that.
- 1374
- 01:32:22,000 --> 01:32:24,082
- You guys just stay put.
- We'll get you out of there.
- 1375
- 01:32:27,120 --> 01:32:28,690
- -Nice fellas.
- -Yeah.
- 1376
- 01:32:30,120 --> 01:32:32,327
- -I love those guys.
- -Me, too.
- 1377
- 01:32:43,280 --> 01:32:46,011
- -You still got some of that jerky?
- -Yeah.
- 1378
- 01:32:47,240 --> 01:32:48,730
- You still good on water?
- 1379
- 01:32:48,800 --> 01:32:51,963
- -About three-quarters. You?
- -Yeah, same.
- 1380
- 01:33:00,640 --> 01:33:02,051
- -Hey, Stephen?
- -Yeah?
- 1381
- 01:33:03,040 --> 01:33:04,405
- Do you want to go home?
- 1382
- 01:33:09,400 --> 01:33:12,802
- Yeah, I do. I really do.
- 1383
- 01:33:22,720 --> 01:33:24,484
- We weren't even close, were we?
- 1384
- 01:33:24,800 --> 01:33:28,009
- What are you talking about?
- We did it, Bryson.
- 1385
- 01:33:28,960 --> 01:33:31,406
- We never even laid eyes on Mount Katahdin_
- 1386
- 01:33:32,040 --> 01:33:35,931
- Another mountain?
- How many mountains do you need to see?
- 1387
- 01:33:36,000 --> 01:33:37,525
- (CHUCKLES)
- 1388
- 01:33:38,080 --> 01:33:41,402
- -That's one way of looking at it.
- -That's the only way of looking at it.
- 1389
- 01:33:42,080 --> 01:33:45,562
- As far as I'm concerned,
- we walked the Appalachian Trail.
- 1390
- 01:33:45,680 --> 01:33:47,967
- We walked it in the heat,
- we walked it in the snow,
- 1391
- 01:33:48,040 --> 01:33:50,122
- we walked it until our feet bled.
- 1392
- 01:33:51,160 --> 01:33:54,369
- We hiked the Appalachian Trail, Bryson.
- 1393
- 01:33:57,760 --> 01:33:59,250
- Maybe you're right.
- 1394
- 01:34:01,040 --> 01:34:03,566
- (TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
- 1395
- 01:34:15,600 --> 01:34:17,682
- -You guys called a cab? All right.
- -BOTH: Yeah.
- 1396
- 01:34:18,400 --> 01:34:20,164
- This thing's heavy.
- You been carrying it awhile?
- 1397
- 01:34:20,320 --> 01:34:21,970
- All the way from Georgia.
- 1398
- 01:34:22,240 --> 01:34:25,403
- You don't say. Good for you, fellas.
- Hey, where you guys from?
- 1399
- 01:34:25,760 --> 01:34:26,966
- Iowa.
- 1400
- 01:34:28,120 --> 01:34:29,406
- That's not possible.
- 1401
- 01:34:29,600 --> 01:34:32,922
- No such thing as a Red Sox fan from Iowa.
- (CHUCKLING)
- 1402
- 01:34:35,360 --> 01:34:36,691
- (CHUCKUNG)
- 1403
- 01:34:42,720 --> 01:34:44,085
- Here you go.
- 1404
- 01:34:45,800 --> 01:34:48,406
- "Dearest Catherine..."
- That's as far as you got?
- 1405
- 01:34:49,760 --> 01:34:51,444
- It's lucky we were saved.
- 1406
- 01:34:52,520 --> 01:34:54,761
- There are certain things
- you just can't put into words.
- 1407
- 01:34:58,120 --> 01:34:59,610
- Safe journey, okay?
- 1408
- 01:34:59,960 --> 01:35:01,121
- Yeah.
- 1409
- 01:35:13,240 --> 01:35:15,208
- You still owe me 600 bucks.
- 1410
- 01:35:15,920 --> 01:35:17,729
- You know I'm good for it, right?
- 1411
- 01:35:18,440 --> 01:35:19,487
- Oh, yeah.
- 1412
- 01:35:20,240 --> 01:35:21,287
- (CHUCKLES)
- 1413
- 01:35:46,520 --> 01:35:48,045
- Remember me?
- 1414
- 01:35:55,320 --> 01:35:57,163
- Oh. (sNIFFLEs)
- 1415
- 01:35:58,080 --> 01:35:59,844
- (lvloANs SOFTLY)
- 1416
- 01:36:10,640 --> 01:36:12,290
- (slGHING)
- 1417
- 01:36:38,320 --> 01:36:42,211
- KATZ: She had one hell of a stack
- of pancakes. Katz.
- 1418
- 01:36:45,560 --> 01:36:46,846
- I hate your guts.
- 1419
- 01:36:47,120 --> 01:36:48,201
- (CHUCKLES)
- 1420
- 01:36:51,600 --> 01:36:54,729
- Never buy underpants
- for a woman you don't know.
- 1421
- 01:36:58,560 --> 01:37:00,403
- Fuckers still didn't get me.
- 1422
- 01:37:00,560 --> 01:37:01,721
- (CHUCKLES)
- 1423
- 01:37:06,760 --> 01:37:09,570
- Bryson, just wondering,
- what's next?
- 1424
- 01:37:16,880 --> 01:37:18,450
- (SH U FFLING POSTCARDS)
- 1425
- 01:37:18,840 --> 01:37:20,205
- (STACK THUDS)
- 1426
- 01:37:24,600 --> 01:37:26,170
- (CLEARS THROAT)
- 1427
- 01:37:32,920 --> 01:37:35,241
- (KEYBOARD CLACKING)
- 1428
- 01:37:38,080 --> 01:37:39,650
- (MELLOW SONG PLAYING)
- 1429
- 01:37:40,080 --> 01:37:42,650
- <font color="#0080ff"><i><b>Fixed & Synced By MoUsTaFa ZaKi </b></i></font>
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