Safe 4

Take a standard deck of 52 playing cards, and order them by number and suit, with the ace of spades on top, followed by the 2 of spades, and so on up to the king of spades. After spades comes diamonds, then clubs, and finally hearts, making the bottom card the king of hearts. All cards in the pile should be face down.

Carefully follow all instructions to get the password for this safe. It matters whether each card is face up or face down. Don’t flip any cards over unless instructed.

If you don’t understand what one of the instructions is asking you to do, for this puzzle only, you may ask for clarification. This isn’t supposed to be a “figure out what silver meant” puzzle.

1. Turn the first card over and put it back on top of the deck. Then take the first and second cards, and flip both over at the same time. If done correctly the 2 of Spades should now be face up on top of the deck, with the Ace of Spades face down below it. Now do the same with the first 3 cards, then the first 4 cards. Continue adding 1 card and flipping them all over until you’ve gone all the way through the deck. The final move will be flipping 52 cards (the entire deck), which will put the King of Hearts on top.

2. Go through the deck and remove all four 10s, without changing the order of the rest of the deck. Place the 10s on the top of the deck in the same order as they were before you removed them.

3. Deal the cards out into 4 separate piles.

4. Find the Queen of Diamonds and remove it from its pile. Set it aside for now.

5. Take any pile with a 6 or a Jack in it and flip the whole thing over.

6. Find the pile with the most Diamonds in it. Remove the bottom card of that pile and place it on the top of one of the piles you flipped in step 5.

7. Find the pile that contains the 2 of Clubs. Remove that pile’s 8th card (counting from the top), flip it over, and place it on top of the card you moved in step 6.

8. Put the Queen of Diamonds (the card you removed earlier) face down on top of the pile that currently contains the most face up cards.

9. Find the King of Diamonds and the 8 of Clubs, and swap their positions.

10. Recombine the piles, putting the pile with the least diamonds on the bottom, the pile with the second least diamonds on top of it, then the pile with the 2nd most diamonds, and finally the pile with the most diamonds goes on the top.

11. Grab a marker, time to start writing on the cards. Starting with the top card of the deck, write the first letter of the most famous pangram on whichever side is currently facing up. Move through the cards of the deck, writing each letter of the pangram on the upward side of the next card. When you reach a space in the pangram, skip a card to represent that space. You will run out of letters in the pangram before getting all the way through the deck. Don’t write anything on the remaining cards.

12. Add up the numbers of the 1st, 5th, and 12th cards. Call that number N and find the first card that you wrote the Nth letter of the alphabet on. Add the number on that card to N and make the result the new N. Again, find the first card that you wrote the Nth letter of the alphabet on. Remove it from the deck and set it down next to the deck.

13. Go through the deck and remove all the cards that you wrote a vowel on, without changing the order of the rest of the deck. Keeping them in the same order as they were before you removed them, place them on top of the card you removed in step 12, to form a new card pile.

14. Check the suit of the last card (closest to bottom) with a vowel on it in the new pile. Go through the main deck until you find the first card with that suit. Remove that card and place it on top of the smaller pile.

15. Count the number of cards in the main deck, then remove exactly half the cards from the top, and place them next to the bottom half, turning the main deck into 2 separate piles.

16. Search all 3 piles until you find the only instance of the numbers on 3 consecutive cards adding up to 16. All 3 cards must have numbers, no Aces, Jacks, Queens, or Kings. Remove the 3 cards, and put them on top of the pile that is currently topped by a face up card.

17. Find the card that was the 14th card in the deck after step 10. Remove it from the pile and throw it across the room. Next, throw the card that was 16th after step 10, then 18th, and keep going through the even numbers all the way up to the 28th card after step 10. Make sure you throw them really hard. Bonus points if you can hit the far wall.

18. Find the pile with the 10 of hearts. Do the same thing with that pile as you did with the entire deck in step 1. Then do it 2 more times.

19. Take the top card of the pile that has the most Jacks. Tear it into tiny pieces. Each piece should be no larger than your smallest toenail. This is very important.

20. Add together all of the numbers in each pile, counting aces as 1 and ignoring face cards. Recombine the three piles by putting the largest sum on the bottom and the smallest on the top.

21. Repeat step 12 by starting with the 1st, 18th, and 38th cards, except instead of just setting the card down next to the deck, grab a lighter and burn it. Burn it until the entire card is consumed by the eternal flame and cursed to walk forever in the endless halls.

22. Grab a marker. Make sure it’s a different color from the one you grabbed earlier. On the top card, write the first word of the first Harry Potter book. On the next card, write the second word of the first Harry Potter book. Keep going. You will run out of cards before you run out of words, but that’s okay! When you’ve gone through all the cards, just start again, writing the next word on the top card. Continue doing this until you’ve gone through the entire Harry Potter series. After the card you wrote the final word on, remove the next 7 cards and execute them one by one.

23. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

24. Find a cookie pan with a handle on each side. Set the pan on a table so that the handles are facing left and right. Place the cards in the pan one by one, starting by putting the top card in the top left corner. The next card goes directly to the right, and so on to form a row of 7 cards. Then do the next row, again using 7 cards, and so on, until all the cards are in the pan.

25. Grab the pan by the right handle and slide it into the oven. Set a timer for 1 hour.

26. Once 1 hour is up, open the oven, and grab the nearest handle with your left hand. Use your right hand to grab the other handle, and place the pan back on the table, again so that the handles are facing left and right (do not cross your arms).

27. Eat all of the face down cards that are not in the 4th row from the top.

28. Remember when you threw cards across the room? Go find the 5th card you threw. Place it face up in the space that the 10 of Spades was in before step 27.

29. Eat all of the face up cards that are not Aces and don’t have the same number as one of the cards in the corners.

30. Eat any cards that are the only card in their column.

31. Order all of the remaining cards in a new pile by value. Lowest value at the top, highest at the bottom. Face down cards count as 0 value, aces count as 1. Any ties should be ordered left to right with left on top.

32. Revive the first card you executed in step 22. Place it face down on top of the pile.

33. Find the card in your pile where the letter from step 11 matches the value. Put it on the bottom of the pile, without changing the order of the rest of the cards.

34. Remove each card that was given a letter in the word HOME in step 11, unless it’s a face card. Also remove each card that you didn’t write a letter on in step 11, unless it’s not a face card.

35. Remove the middle card out of all of the cards that had a vowel written on them in step 11. Flip over each of the remaining vowel cards.

36. Find the two consecutive cards that are the same suit and facing the same way. Switch their positions, and flip the one that is now higher in the pile.

37. Flip over the middle card in the pile.

38. Flip over the entire pile at once.

39. Read the letters on the cards, one by one.