Talk to Spongeformer

SpongeBob: Today's the big day, Gary.
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: [jumps on the diving board] Look at me, I'm... [jumps up, and leaves his underwear behind] ...naked! [Lands inside pants, walks over to exercise room. His head pops out of the top of his pants.] Gotta be in top physical condition for today, Gary.
Squidward: We just found out what we needed to do today: a bit of the sponge.
Mickey Rourke: It's good to be back into the world of the living...
Scooby: Don't worry about it, Gary—he doesn't even like to talk.
Squidward: You've still got this one-armed... [Squidward takes the water bottle out of the hand of Peter] Waddle Dee used to have this one-armed man down at the pond who'd help him clear away all that water. It's just that now he's afraid he'll spill all the water on you.
Squidward: He used to do it all the time.
Scooby: He was just like any other man, like any normal guy.

Mr. Krabs: That sounded like hatch doors. [sniffs repeatedly] Do you smell it? That smell. A kind of smelly smell. A smelly smell that smells... smelly. [bulgy eyes] Anchovies.
Squidward: What?
Mr. Krabs: Anchovies! [Anchovies get out of the buses and rush inside the Krusty Krab, crowding, repeating the word "meep" over and over again]
Mr. Krabs: This is my Krusty Krab. A great, great place. [crowd cheers]
Squidward: What?
Mr. Krabs: It's a great place. And it's all about anchovies. And my Krusty Krab. [a loud splash] That must be an entire fleet of anchovies.
[everyone cheers]
Squidward: What?
Mr. Krabs: No anchovies?
Squidward: Oh, what's wrong with that?
Mr. Krabs: Yeah. No anchovies.
Squidward: Why did they have anchovies?
Mr. Krabs: Well, they had anchovies. [laughs again]


Plankton: [growls] That's it?! [jumps on SpongeBob's nose and holds his eyelids] You'd better cough up that secret formula or else!
Mr. Krabs: Plankton!
Plankton: [Looks at Mr. Krabs] Krabs!
Mr. Krabs: Plankton!
Plankton: Krabs!
SpongeBob: SpongeBob. [Mr. Krabs grabs Plankton and a straw, then puts Plankton in the straw] [Plankton squeaks like a snail]
[SpongeBob looks under the ground]
The next night, the episode ends with a small fireworks display, showing SpongerBob's new invention, the Plankton-bikini. This is because SpongeBob has made the Plankton-bikini from the Plankton-lips. [SpongeBob opens their mouths, and the Sponge-buns turn into Plankton-buns. SpongeBob is eating Plankton-buns and holding the plankton-buns in front of him in SpongeBob's arms]
Mr. Krabs: [wearing his Krabby Patty disguise]

Plankton: [exploding in rage] But we did everything you said-- I followed all the rules! I even ate 105 black licorice jellybeans through a straw!
Imitation Krabs: Now why can't you tell me the formula?
SpongeBob: It's your rule. Never speak the formula. You told me to keep it in...this bottle. [holds up a bottle with a piece of paper in it]
SpongeBob: ...I didn't tell you to keep it in the box! [flips a coin.] And you didn't put it at the bottom of the jar, did you? We thought it was the last time.
The Krusty Krab's manager: I don't know what...what happened, but the Krusty Krab is on fire, and you're being chased!
Ralph: [scolding SpongeBob] Don't listen to him! It's the way of the world!
SpongeBob: I'm going to eat a lot of fried shrimp while they're being chased.
SpongeBob: We don't care about that. That was my idea. We eat fried shrimp and have sex. [The Krust

Plankton: [exploding in rage] But we did everything you said-- I followed all the rules! I even ate 105 black licorice jellybeans through a straw!
Imitation Krabs: Now why can't you tell me the formula?
SpongeBob: It's your rule. Never speak the formula. You told me to keep it in...this bottle. [holds up a bottle with a piece of paper in it]
SpongeBob: [pulls the paper out] Oh my God! It's... it's a super formula! I can't put it in anything but a bottle.
SpongeBob: You sure about that? [reappears in the center of the room as Krabs.]
Krabs: [trying to convince SpongeBob to eat the jellybeans] The Super Krab Recipe was designed to last three days, and was never supposed to last three hours, no matter how hard you tried.
Mr. Krabs: [trying to convince SpongeBob to put the bottle in the microwave] If you keep pouring it down your throat, then you won't keep getting jellybeans.
SpongeBob: [eating his treat] My problem is

Narrator: Six and a half hours later... [Plankton grunts frantically as he gets Robot Krabs into a cannon which spits him out, through a flame ring, and onto a chair at a table. He opens up the robot's belt buckle and dumps some spaghetti in there]
Imitation Krabs: Yum yum, this spaghetti sure is good. Belch! Meatball. Meatball. Spaghetti underneath. Ravioli. Ravioli. Great Barrier Reef. [They clap]
Imitation Krabs: It's delicious! [Laughter]
Plankton: Mmm, yummy.
Plankton: Great Barrier Reef! [Tiny Squid and Raph appear]
Plankton: Oh, wait a sec.
Laughing Squid: Squid!
[They go off to eat pizza]
Laughing Squid: Uh, Squid! What do you tell your friends, after some tasty spaghetti-based pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza Pizza Pizza Pizza Pizza
[SpongeBob is walking toward his friends sitting on the couch, holding a banana out to them]
SpongeBob: [wet sounds are heard] Oh, that

Patrick: That sounds like the manager of the new Krusty Krab 2.[notices he doesn't have his trunks on] Oops. Hold on.[Rock closes, with Patrick on it. Then it opens again with Patrick wearing his shorts] Congratulations, buddy.
SpongeBob: Oh, thanks, Patrick. And tonight, after my big promotion, we're gonna party till we're purple.
Patrick: Oh, I love being purple!
Sideshow Bob: Hey! [SpongeBob comes out wearing his shoes] You look cool! [Patrick is now with SpongeBob wearing his Triforce on his head] Well, you know what they say: You gotta love your job, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: Thank you, Mr Krabs.
Patrick: And when it's done, we'll celebrate by getting drunk on the Krustylium!
The camera then cuts to another Krusty Krab opening where a woman is dancing to her own song, singing: My body, my body, my body, my body, my body. My legs, my legs, my legs- my legs, my… [the camera pans all over to Patrick with his hands on his hips holding the

King Neptune: Very well, then. Before I turn this conniving crustacean into fishmeal, who here has anything to say about Eugene Krabs?
SpongeBob: [SpongeBob is burping around and looking all drunk] I've got something to say about Mr. [burps] Krabs. He's all like - uh - he's a bit of a - a - a - A-hole, and then he makes me do it - he makes me lie. The guy's like a - this is just embarrassing!
Norman: What you just did was wrong.
SpongeBob: Oh, I'm sorry, sir, but I don't think I said or done any wrong. Why would I do that?
Norman: [spooning up a large amount of cheese] I didn't feel it was rude to say something like that.
SpongeBob: That's just why you have the most perfect boss on earth!
Norman: He said... well, no, he probably didn't say it as he really just wanted to hear your thoughts, then the man got mad at him for being such a moron... which makes perfect sense now.

King Neptune: Very well, then. Before I turn this conniving crustacean into fishmeal, who here has anything to say about Eugene Krabs?
SpongeBob: [SpongeBob is burping around and looking all drunk] I've got something to say about Mr. [burps] Krabs.
Toad: [laughs] SpongeBob is the only one whose nose is not an octopus. Who is this asshole on the other end!?
SpongeBob: [spoons the pudding] Oh I don't mind. This is really my best pudding. It's really delicious.
Toad: [smashes it] Shut up! It ain't just me!
The other kids at camp are about to be fed and they're eating very well thanks to some delicious sponge-like food. They come to the conclusion they're in trouble.
Toad: Hey, SpongeBob, don't you even think of starving! It's going to be okay!
SpongeBob: [sarcastic, as in this is what he's always eaten in the camp] It ain't me! I don't care how long it is!
Toad: [to their stomachs]

King Neptune: Very well, then. Before I turn this conniving crustacean into fishmeal, who here has anything to say about Eugene Krabs?
SpongeBob: [SpongeBob is burping around and looking all drunk] I've got something to say about Mr. [burps] Krabs. Eugene? [SpongeBob gives a winking imitation of the character from Spongebob Squarepants, then goes behind the table, picks up a plate of bread from under the table and starts eating it. He then comes up behind Krabs and makes a face. The crustacean says,] No! We're not eating bread! Mr. Krabs! [SpongeBob stops him and then holds up his fork to the crustacean with the "No" message on it] It looks like you have a problem with... this? Eugene, why don't you bite off that crustacean's head and give it to me? I'll buy your stuff, you little thing! [Starts eating the crustacean until it's all gone.] Now I can't hear you, can I? Mr. Krabs? This is a challenge. You are about to make millions of people your boss

King Neptune: Run along. I have a crab to cook.
SpongeBob: No! I won't let you.
King Neptune: Very well, then. I'll have to fry you both!
Mindy: Daddy, stop it! Can't you get through one day without executing someone?
King Neptune: You know what, I'll just let you fry me. I'll be the first.
Mindy: But if you're the first one, then Dad can't...
SpongeBob: Wait. What? Dad said he'd just let me fry him.
King Neptune: And you didn't even say 'I want to fry him'? You'd never want me to, right? I just think we're friends.
SpongeBob: (trying to run him away) Daddy!
Dennis: (screams) No! Don't hurt me!
King Neptune: I didn't say 'I want to', you fucking idiot! Don't touch me! Don't do this!
Dennis: You said your mother told to never touch your father!
King Neptune: I'm trying to show someone that isn't a freak, or one of your freakish pricks,

[While Mindy is explaining, Patrick is staring at her]
Patrick: She's pretty, SpongeBob.
Mindy: Here, take this.
SpongeBob: What's in here? [Opens bag and few winds blow at his face]
Mindy: It's a magical bag of winds. I stole them from my father.
Patrick: [To Mindy] You're hot.
SpongeBob: [He pushes Patrick over, holding him] The more I learn about how this works, the more I'm sure there's a way out of here. [He turns around, revealing SpongeBob's hands and face]
[Patrick and Mindy are sitting in the kitchen]
Mindy: [saying] Now it's up to me. [They take off their clothes and are shocked to see SpongeBob's skin is completely white. When SpongeBob takes his pants off, his face seems slightly translucent, making out his features slightly. Mindy then points to his penis, to which SpongeBob says "oh, my." Patrick smiles.]
SpongeBob: You were trying to make me your teacher!
Patrick: ...The professor's got his way now. [Bleep

Patrick: Hey, I thought you didn't have a driver's license.
SpongeBob: You don't need a license to drive a sandwich.
Morty: Yeah, but it is a sign of a terrible driver. [scoffs]
SpongeBob: I don't get why we have to bring along this driver. I drive a stick shift.
Morty: Not a stick shift.
[Morty gets up from his seat. SpongeBob walks over to him.]
SpongeBob: I'm sorry, Mort. I should have brought my sandwich with me.
Morty: No, you don't. You have this thing that is too heavy for you to reach it using only your hand. I would like you to take out both your hands and try to lift it, just to see what happens.
[SpongeBob walks over to Morty. He puts his hands together, and then picks up the sandwich from where it fell. But it is actually a pair of golf clubs, and they won't even fall off him, but the club still lands in the middle.] [SpongeBob walks up to Morty. He gives his sandwich to him.]

Mindy: Good. Now, keep your eyes shut. [Grabs two blades of seaweed] With my mermaid magic and my one tailfin [Patrick giggles. Mindy puts the seaweeds onto SpongeBob and Patrick], I command the two of you to turn into men! Open your eyes.
SpongeBob: [He and Patrick open their eyes] I don't feel any... [Notices that Patrick has a "mustache"] Oh, my gosh, Patrick, you have a mustache! I was going to make you look like SpongeBob's father.
Mindy: Now, when will we get out of this mess??
SpongeBob: [Snort] Now we'll eat all the mucky mush and leave. Mindy, we can't do this forever!


Patrick: [Mocks SpongeBob again] What should we do, mindy?

Mindy: I bet I can make the best poutine ever.

SpongeBob: [He continues mimicking her] If he's still talking, you're good.

When they get home, SpongeBob and Patrick are shocked by a lot of things, including a bag of chips. Mindy offers