12 oz Mouse script: S2E11_Pre-Reckoning

Ep 18: "Pre-Reckoning"
transcribed: John W Sandwich (Chris Crisman-Cox)


int. Tunnel leading down to Roostre's bunker (where the Corndroid is housed). Producer Man, Terminator Lady, Skillet, and Fitz are climbing down a ladder. Explosions are occurring regularly.

PRODUCER: Meep. Meep-mop. Meep. Meep-mop.
SKILLET: (screeches)
PRODUCER: Meep. Meep-mop.
LIQUOR: There he goes.
MOUSE: There... who knows?
LIQUOR: He. Shark. He's blowing everything up.
MOUSE: Why would he blow everything up?
LIQUOR: So it'll end in fire. Flames. Hot-heaty-hot. You know, fire?

Skillet pokes his head out of the manhole. The town is in flames. Two huge lasers go by.

SKILLET: (screeches)
MOUSE: What about my friends? They're out there.
LIQUOR: Oh, those guys? He's probably eaten them all by now. It reads

Scroll the camera to the right of the tunnel. A circus is buried underground. Liquor keeps talking.

LIQUOR: (cont'd) and the Shark shall eat every creature who is friends of the green one. But there's Amalockh. He's a mean bitch.
ROOSTRE: Hey! Who's up there?
MOUSE: What else does it read?
LIQUOR: I'll tell you, but we've got to get handbrain to Roostre, or we may never have a chance.
PRODUCER: Meep. Meep-mop.

Terminator Lady accidentally shoots Producer Man.

PRODUCER: Meep. Meep-mop.

Producer Man falls onto Terminator Lady, causing everybody except Skillet to fall onto the floor of Roostre's bunker. Skillet glides down effortlessly. In addition to Roostre, Spider is also in the bunker, but he doesn't say anything.

ROOSTRE: Well, if it ain't the motley mots.
LIQUOR: What's up, Roos-tre?
ROOSTRE: I remember you. You hit me in the head.
LIQUOR: Yeah, but, you know, I had a reason.
ROOSTRE: Which one?
LIQUOR: This one. This here one. (indicates Producer Man)
PRODUCER: Meep. Meep-mop. Meep. Meep-mop. Meep. Meep-mop.
ROOSTRE: What the hell's this shibullet?
LIQUOR: Mmm. Lose something?
ROOSTRE: Hey, man. Those are my X-rays.
LIQUOR: No, not your X-rays. Look.
PRODUCER: Meep. Meep-mop. (Liquor holds the X-rays up to Producer Man's head, showing that a hand is clearly inside Producer's head) Meep. Meep-mop.
ROOSTRE: Those are my X-rays.
ROOSTRE: What's wrong with him?
LIQUOR: It's the language. It's giving out. And for reasons sooner on him. For today.
MOUSE: Linguas him out whole the other? (looks surprised)
LIQUOR: Ogelub renub the ghee?
MOUSE: Nix yurapict.
ROOSTRE: Produpt means artollah.
LIQUOR: Newdmatschstam. Newdmatschstam.

ext. Burning city. Shadowy Figure stops his van and throws Peanut Cop out.

PEANUT: Ow. Dude. You, my friend, have a totally cool car. But I've got a louder stereo. You know one that BMMM! Thumps.

Shadowy Figure says something unintelligible and drives off.

PEANUT: What am I for here now? What did I talk? What here f-for now... Am I, what here? What, what here, heh, here for now what to... (shakes violently)
PEANUT: (cont'd) Uncool. No one. Uncool. No one. Nobody. Uncool. Nobody controls me. Yeah.

ext. Another part of the city. A large number of pumps are expelling what is apparently language gas.

int. Shark's control room. Golden Joe is tied up. The original Eye is chained to the wall. The second Eye is walking around freely.

SHARK: One of the worst things that could possibly ever happen to someone is the inability to communicate.
JOE: (mumbles frightenedly) Oh, oh help me. Help me, God. Help me.

The second Eye whacks Joe with a gun.

FIRST EYE: EYE think that's mean.
SHARK: Well, I think it's very funny. See that guy. (zoom in on a screen showing Amalockh) He's a teddy bear. But they won't ever know it. We have the time under control, don't we?
EYE: He always has the same time.
SHARK: When he stands that still, then yes. It's exactly the same.
EYE: What if it were to move?
SHARK: What if what moves, you sack?
EYE: What if it becomes 2:23? What if the tEYEme changes?
SHARK: How much would you give to control a lifetime of time in a frozen segment of timelessness? Trillions of molecules, making up lifeforms in space.
EYE: I miss mEYE dad. He was coming to pick me up at school.
SHARK: You have no idea how long you've been here. Your dad is long gone by now.
EYE: Not if tEYEme stands still. If tEYEme stands still, then EYE am still in line, waiting for him to pick me up. I have a lot of homework due the next day.
SHARK: Not if I can help it. (talking to Clock) What do you mean you're out of the gas? Well, I have armies coming, so this is uncool. Let's figure it out.

int. The house of a generic townsperson. The townsperson is casually vacuuming, but then gets dramatically sucked out the window.

ext. The city. Armies of tiebots and hovervacs are destroying everything. A porno truck flips on its side and explodes. Tiebots drill into the flesh of townspeople. A tiebot drills into the camera. Dissolve to static.

ext. The Clock Shop. ("Tempus Phucket.") Peanut Cop hops up to it.

PEANUT: Clock shop. (shoots a Peanut-Cop-shaped hole in it) That was easy. (enters the shop)

int. Clock Shop. Clocks everywhere

PEANUT: Woah, I wonder what time it is. Uh, I think it's beer time. That's what methinks.

int. Roostre's bunker. Everything is vibrating

MOUSE: You... take care... of this.
LIQUOR: Where... are you... going?
MOUSE: To save... my... friends.
LIQUOR: They're... probably... dead... by now.

ext. Cemetary. Amalockh spits out the flaming remains of Pronto and then sniffs a flower.

int. Shark's control room.

SHARK: (watching Amalockh) If that flower reaches the right person, we're all dead, and that'll be a great disappointment to me and all that me has become me. (looking at Clock) Us. I know it's us, and that's what I meant to say. You know I meant to say that. You always know what I mean to say, cause you say it.

ext. City. Fitz, Skillet, and Terminator Lady are stealthily moving through the streets. Fitz looks around the corner of a building. An army of tiebots flies toward him.

MOUSE: Nerg optima zopt rem.

Huge battle.

MOUSE: Dodj beoj. (sees an army of hovervacs above) Nominye.

Fitz, Skillet, and Terminator Lady run into the clock shop.

PEANUT: (muffled due to a gas mask) In here, dude!

Fitz and his crew run into the room where Peanut Cop is standing and slam the door behind themselves.

MOUSE: Cordometze.
PEANUT: Woah bro, put these on.
MOUSE: What is this?
PEANUT: It's anti-anti-language gas. I made it from (sniffs deeply and laughs) propane.
MOUSE: Well, right now we need to kill that Shark.
PEANUT: Right now bro him? It's pretty good gas.
MOUSE: We need to find a way in.
PEANUT: Dude, we're safe in here. Totally safe.
MOUSE: Not with those things outside. (looks up) Airvent.
PEANUT: Wait. Check this out.

Peanut winds up a clock and sets it outside the door. Several tiebots blow up before a hovervac sucks it up and spits it out broken.

PEANUT: They hate that. But I love it.

The tiebots drill through the door, but the room is empty. Skillet's tail is seen disappearing up an airvent.

SKILLET: (screeches)

int. Roostre's bunker. Producer Man is dead from having his head cut open. Spider is looking anxiously at his body.

LIQUOR: Oh, go on. You probably haven't had a good meal in who knows how long.

Spider smiles and sinks his teeth into Producer Man's brain.

ROOSTRE: How come we can talk right? Suddenly.
LIQUOR: They must be outta gas. Let me see that hook.
ROOSTRE: Man, I sure have missed that hand.
LIQUOR: You got a hacksaw or something? A biv knife?
ROOSTRE: Son of a bitch took it off in the middle of the night, right after I built this sucker.
LIQUOR: I'll just have to use drunken karate. Hey, what's that over here?
ROOSTRE: What?
LIQUOR: Heeya! (chops Roostre's hook off)
ROOSTRE: Holy crap!
LIQUOR: Hold on... (spits onto the Hand and attaches it to Roostre's arm) Look at that. It works.
ROOSTRE: Oh yeah, that's right. That's what I'm talking about now, boy.
LIQUOR: Now get 'er going. We're running out of no time.
ROOSTRE: Wake up now, boy. It be a killing time.

Roostre activates the Corndroid. Several arms with guns come out of its chest.

LIQUOR: Wait!
ROOSTRE: What?
LIQUOR: (with Corndroid pointing at him) Oo. Nevermind.

At the end of the credits, the infamous number code appears. Solution (thanks to Pruwyben): "Who's funding your slush now?"

After this, a tiebot dances with a porno doll. The doll's head falls off and explodes.