What the actual fuck am I looking at

"You'll have to figure it out. Break your limits!" The arms wrapped themselves tightly around the two of them, conjoining into a long cylinder tipped with a cone of metal arms. The cactus arm protruded from the cone tip, while arms made of acetylene, hydrazine, ammonium perchlorate, and pentaborane(9) lined the other end.

Little buddy! It's all on you now! You have to harness my power! I know you can do it!

The arm rocket's end ignited in prismatic flames, and the Unbroken River faded, letting the thrust and gravity pull the missile down towards the blob.

Ruslav concentrated the Tenebrous Aether beneath the mass to immobilize it with gravity, and further boost the rocket's impact. Young Armando fired explosive arms at the tendrils attempting to reach up.

(internal monologue from the cactus arm starts)

i can't do this don't make me, i mess up

You can do it. You're a good cactus. You're the best cactus I know!

im not. i am bad cactus. i hurt owners and you and now arm friend because not good enough.

You stop that right now. You see that thing? It's fat and slimy and soft and gross. It's the exact opposite of spiky! Are you going to let it disrespect us?! And only the bravest, smartest, pokiest cactus can stop it!

no

I'm not the Infernal Lord of Spikiness. You are, now. Are you poky?

i… am poky

Louder.

i am poky!

Like you mean it!

i am poky!

MAKE HELL TREMBLE!

WwEe AaRrEe POKY!!!!

(internal monologue from the cactus arm end)

The cactus fist grew and spread and thickened, and its spines became as long and thick as I-beams. The rocket made impact, and exploded, sending the cactus spears through every crystal brain of the fat mass.

Ruslav quickly used the Aequeous Aether to shield himself and Young Armando from the wave of dead liquid fat flowing from the explosion site.

The cactus spines impaled the dying brains of the mass, and the fat softened and liquefied. One brain emitted a quiet, distorted voice. Thaaaaank yoooouuu. Freee. Armando emerged from the gore, protected by a polyhedral cage of arms. Next to him, the detached cactus, now normal sized, sat on the ground. The Armandos sighed and patted it with metal and porcelain arms. "Well done, cactus."