Proud's Definition of Friendship

I don't think I have a personal concrete feeling for when I love someone. I don't feel my chest pound, my face doesn't blush, I don't particularly smile more outwardly.
I guess the way I'd put it is...
I feel an atmosphere.

It's a mood, it's a blanket of emotion, it's a steady drumming of rain against the roof.
It's home and family and with no stresses beyond that.
And if I love someone romantically? I don't think it's stronger than the love I have for others platonic.
It's just... different.

Hmmm, I think association with everything that's made me happy's too simple a feeling.
I've had arguments or disagreements with friends who've I've considered family.
Like, home should be a place that will always be there for you to me. And anything can be home. A physical location, a handful of things, an environment, people. Especially people.
And I don't mind the arguments or disagreements! There's only one time I ever felt that home would be taken away from me with one of those people, but I think the idea of home is that it can endure.
That, no matter how bad it gets, the house will remain.

I'm not a fan of the idea that home/love is associated with purely happiness.
Because arguments are a thing, petty disagreements and differences are a thing.
It's a more complicated happiness.
Through knowing you endured through storms and fire and brimstone.

And yeah, it comes down to the connections with other people. We're all we got.
(Course, there are some kinks worth ditching a friendship over, I feel. I mean, the obvious ones.)
We're all we've got left in the darkness. There's no one out there to help us. No gods there to give us favor or grant us succor.
All we have is each other for light.
A double-edged notion, I'll admit.
Once you realize that humans can be unspeakably cruel to each other.
And there are no depths they won't sink to.

I don't think it's a bad thing in itself either.
Because they can be greater than our towering heights. We should treasure any drop of goodness.
Because it's a drop another person doesn't have to give.
But they do anyway.