Lake Michigan Monster (2018) EN

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Subtitles by explosiveskull
www.OpenSubtitles.org

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'No pieces of the body
have been found,

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'and the authorities say,
"Sea monsters aren't real."'

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Ahoy! And salutations!

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My name is Captain Seafield.

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'The authorities say,
"Sea monsters aren't real.

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'"Or for that matter,
lake monsters."'

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One month ago,

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me and a fellow
ship captain of mine

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ventured out
on a morning fishing trip

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upon the great tides
of Lake Michigan.

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As we cast our lines,
suddenly from out of nowhere,

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a Hellish sea monster crept up
from the shallow depths,

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boarded our vessel,

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and killed my associate.

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It then dragged him underwater

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and vanished
into the murky abyss.

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The victim here was my father.

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'The authorities say,
"Sea monsters aren't real.

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'"Or for that matter,
lake monsters."'

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And so, I have hired
a group of specialists

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to help me locate the beast
and murder it.

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'Sean Shaughnessy,
weapons expert.

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'Nedge Pepsi, sonar individual.'

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'And Dick Flynn,

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'former officer at the Nautical
Athletes Adventure Yunit.

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'Sometimes referred to
as the "N.A.V.Y."'

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And there it is!

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The team of the century!

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- Sean Shaughnessy.
- How big is this monster?

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Excellent question.

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This is a lion.

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This is a tiger.

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It's as big as a lion.

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What does it look like?

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Monstrous.

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Right?

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Do we have a boat?

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It's pronounced "pontoon".

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But we shan't be needing it
for anything other

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than general seafaring

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as our hunt will be boat-less,

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for, you see,
our monster resides...

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- ...here.
- Is that...?

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- Lake Michigan.
- We know it's Lake Michigan.

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It's the name of the movie.

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Yes, but more precisely
it lives here,

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off the shore
of my lighthouse island.

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I tell you, we weren't
one fathom in the water

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when the beast slew my father.

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00:03:22,658 --> 00:03:24,894
Wait, I thought you said
he was thrown overboard

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on a fishing trip.

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Well, he was, by the beast.

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And that is precisely
why we must find and kill

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the Lake Michigan Monster!

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Right. But you said you weren't
one fathom out on the lake

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before the monster struck?

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- Well, we weren't.
- One fathom?

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You were one fathom off the
shore for a fishing trip?

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- Yes!
- You know how long a fathom is?

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It's six feet.

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Bah!

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F.A.T.H.O.M.:
Facultative Aquatic Taffrail

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Haliographic
Opinion Measurement.

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I'm not sure that's right.

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What did you take the boat out
and instantaneously run aground?

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- Then cast your fishing lines?
- What else is in that podium?

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Well, maybe that's precisely
what happened!

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Now why the hell is that
so hard to grasp? Oh, God...

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Hey, what's going on here?
Seafield!

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For the love of God,
stop using my classroom!

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Expelled means expelled!

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Lake Michigan...
this is where it all happens.

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Here's the deal.

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This is the beach.
There's the water.

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Here we are right now.

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Nedge has set up the sonar
station over there.

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When Nedge flips the switch,
Sean Shaughnessy will give Dick

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his monster-killing weapon
of choice.

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Then, Dick, you're going to walk
ten paces to the kayak, get in,

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row yourself out to sea,
dive in, and begin your search.

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Back on land, Sean Shaughnessy
will be lookout,

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while Nedge and I watch for
any blips on the Sonar 2000.

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It shall be known as:
Operation Annihilation!

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One. Two. Three.

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Four. Five. Six.

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Seven. Eight...

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Nine.

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Uh, ten!

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He's in.

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Has he found anything?

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Negative.

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Go give him a hand,
Sean Shaughnessy.

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Right.

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That's my weapons expert.

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So, Seafield, what's it like
being a ship captain?

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00:08:14,850 --> 00:08:16,353
- Seafield.
- What?

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00:08:16,386 --> 00:08:18,689
How do you like being
a ship captain?

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00:08:18,721 --> 00:08:20,390
I'm not a ship captain.

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What? I thought that was
kind of your thing.

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- I hope Dick's okay.
- Did you get it?

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Nope. False alarm.

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You almost shot me!

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There's nothing down there,
Seafield.

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Damn. Well, you all tried
your best.

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Let's regroup at my place
and drink bourbon.

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Nedge, go wake up
Sean Shaughnessy.

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00:09:39,068 --> 00:09:41,404
You know, I really thought
that plan would work.

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Oh, well, a marginal setback.

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What's our next plan of attack?

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Ha-ha! Attack.

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Spoken like a true
weapons expert.

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That's why I got you,
Sean Shaughnessy.

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Violence is always on your mind.

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Much like that
of the creature's.

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With a gun or a knife
we must end this monster's life.

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00:10:08,831 --> 00:10:10,867
So what's our next plan
of attack?

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- Who wants fish sticks?
- Oh, here we go!

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Martha, you spoil us!

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00:10:15,905 --> 00:10:18,174
Now, now, even
the Team of the Century

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has to eat once in a while.

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- Thank you.
- She's right, you know.

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00:10:22,044 --> 00:10:26,415
Food gives us energy, and energy
is what, Sean Shaughnessy?

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00:10:26,448 --> 00:10:28,317
Uh, energy is...

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- A good thing!
- Energy is a good thing, idiot.

126
00:10:31,453 --> 00:10:33,356
Martha, did you happen
to bring the ketchup?

127
00:10:33,389 --> 00:10:36,156
Did I happen to bring ketchup?

128
00:10:36,158 --> 00:10:38,795
Martha! She knows me too well.

129
00:10:38,828 --> 00:10:42,832
Okay, now you all enjoy. Plates
and napkins are here in the bar.

130
00:10:42,865 --> 00:10:44,433
Thank you, thank you.

131
00:10:44,466 --> 00:10:46,336
And don't forget, tomorrow
you've got that field trip.

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- Alright. Alright, Martha.
- Thank you.

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Martha.

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My wife.

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00:10:54,110 --> 00:10:56,046
Ah, very nice.

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- Nedge?
- Oh, yeah?

137
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- Come on.
- What?

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00:11:00,583 --> 00:11:02,452
Let's hear it.

139
00:11:03,854 --> 00:11:05,422
- Ah...
- Uh...

140
00:11:05,455 --> 00:11:07,424
Oh! Uh...

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00:11:07,456 --> 00:11:10,494
- To the Team of the Century!
- Ah, very nice.

142
00:11:13,529 --> 00:11:15,966
Not bad.

143
00:11:15,999 --> 00:11:17,267
- Oh!
- Urgh!

144
00:11:17,299 --> 00:11:19,302
Shit, that's bad!

145
00:11:19,336 --> 00:11:22,438
- Urgh! No one else try that!
- No one would do that.

146
00:11:22,471 --> 00:11:24,240
Urgh! I need ketchup!

147
00:11:24,274 --> 00:11:27,410
So, here's the new deal.

148
00:11:27,443 --> 00:11:29,545
This is the beach again.
There's the water again.

149
00:11:29,578 --> 00:11:31,180
Here we are right now again.

150
00:11:31,214 --> 00:11:33,317
Nedge has set up the sonar
station over there again.

151
00:11:33,350 --> 00:11:34,951
When Nedge flips
the switch again,

152
00:11:34,985 --> 00:11:36,186
Sean Shaughnessy will give Dick

153
00:11:36,219 --> 00:11:37,888
his monster-killing weapon
of choice again.

154
00:11:37,921 --> 00:11:40,524
Then, you'll walk ten paces
to the kayak, get in again,

155
00:11:40,557 --> 00:11:42,491
row yourself out to the sea
again, dive in again,

156
00:11:42,524 --> 00:11:44,093
and begin your search again.

157
00:11:44,126 --> 00:11:45,361
Back on land, Sean Shaughnessy
will be lookout again,

158
00:11:45,394 --> 00:11:48,598
while Nedge and I watch for any
blips on the Sonar 2000 again.

159
00:11:48,631 --> 00:11:54,237
Except this time, it shall be
known as: Operation Nauty Lady.

160
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- Why, though?
- Why what?

161
00:11:59,375 --> 00:12:02,144
I mean, I like the name
and everything,

162
00:12:02,177 --> 00:12:04,047
I think it's really clever.

163
00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:06,617
But what does it have to do
with anything?

164
00:12:13,023 --> 00:12:15,091
Whoa, hey!
Where are my clothes?

165
00:12:17,427 --> 00:12:20,096
You must be naked
for the nauty lady!

166
00:12:20,129 --> 00:12:21,631
What the hell does that mean?

167
00:12:21,664 --> 00:12:24,300
Last night I finished my fish
sticks and I got to thinking.

168
00:12:24,333 --> 00:12:26,636
What if this monster is a lady?

169
00:12:26,669 --> 00:12:29,005
Well, then, naturally
she'd be attracted

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00:12:29,038 --> 00:12:30,673
to a naked swimming man.

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00:12:30,706 --> 00:12:32,942
- Naturally.
- I didn't sign up for this!

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00:12:32,975 --> 00:12:36,279
- Where are my clothes?
- Oh, and by the way...

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00:12:36,312 --> 00:12:40,116
...I forgot to hand out these
last night.

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00:12:40,149 --> 00:12:43,319
Your payment
for all your hard work.

175
00:12:43,352 --> 00:12:45,388
Nedge Pepsi.

176
00:12:45,422 --> 00:12:47,691
Sean Shaughnessy.

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00:12:47,724 --> 00:12:50,927
And... Mr. Dick Flynn.

178
00:13:00,470 --> 00:13:02,205
You know what, Seafield?

179
00:13:02,238 --> 00:13:04,374
I actually think
this is a really good plan.

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00:13:04,407 --> 00:13:06,475
- Right?
- The monster will see me naked.

181
00:13:06,509 --> 00:13:08,478
- It'll wanna get on top of me!
- I think so, too.

182
00:13:08,510 --> 00:13:10,447
That's when I'll stab it
in its neck.

183
00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:11,981
That's the spirit, Dick!

184
00:13:12,014 --> 00:13:15,119
Now, everyone in position!

185
00:13:36,172 --> 00:13:38,108
Let's not shoot at me
this time.

186
00:13:38,140 --> 00:13:40,243
I take my orders
from the Captain.

187
00:13:43,212 --> 00:13:45,581
Now I know why
they call him Dick.

188
00:13:45,615 --> 00:13:47,317
Why?

189
00:13:47,350 --> 00:13:50,153
Because... he has a penis.

190
00:13:53,288 --> 00:13:54,991
Seven.

191
00:13:55,024 --> 00:13:56,326
Eight.

192
00:14:04,433 --> 00:14:07,403
Nine. Ten.

193
00:14:10,340 --> 00:14:12,609
- So brave.
- Mm-hmm...

194
00:14:19,581 --> 00:14:20,650
He's in.

195
00:14:27,724 --> 00:14:30,627
- Would you date him?
- Uh...

196
00:14:30,659 --> 00:14:33,462
I don't really date teammates.

197
00:14:33,495 --> 00:14:35,499
I don't date at all
because I'm a married man.

198
00:14:35,532 --> 00:14:37,234
It's one of those things
you can't be doing

199
00:14:37,267 --> 00:14:38,802
once you're married.

200
00:14:38,835 --> 00:14:40,704
Of course, I can still remember
me and Martha's first date...

201
00:14:40,736 --> 00:14:45,074
- Keep an eye on the sonar.
- Haunted beer garden.

202
00:14:57,352 --> 00:14:58,521
I got something!

203
00:14:58,554 --> 00:15:02,025
As do we, old chap!
Good job, Nedge!

204
00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:12,369
Wow, this thing's actually
pretty big.

205
00:15:12,402 --> 00:15:14,237
Monster's aren't small, Nedge.

206
00:15:14,269 --> 00:15:15,538
Except for centipedes.

207
00:15:15,572 --> 00:15:17,807
Except for centipedes.
This is true.

208
00:15:17,841 --> 00:15:20,509
Although small, they are
quite monstrous, nevertheless.

209
00:15:20,543 --> 00:15:22,711
- All those legs.
- All those legs are right.

210
00:15:22,745 --> 00:15:25,048
It's encircling Dick!

211
00:15:27,182 --> 00:15:29,452
Sean Shaughnessy,
prepare to lock and load!

212
00:15:29,485 --> 00:15:30,553
Right!

213
00:15:32,355 --> 00:15:34,124
Alright, Sean Shaughnessy,
get in there and...

214
00:15:37,226 --> 00:15:39,262
Not seeing anything, Seafield.

215
00:15:54,510 --> 00:15:56,112
Dick!

216
00:15:58,914 --> 00:16:00,483
Dick!

217
00:16:20,503 --> 00:16:22,605
Alright, Sean Shaughnessy,
get in there!

218
00:16:22,639 --> 00:16:25,442
Kill the monster! Kill it!

219
00:16:25,475 --> 00:16:27,478
Damn it, Sean Shaughnessy!

220
00:16:28,443 --> 00:16:30,146
Alright, Nedge, you're up!

221
00:16:30,179 --> 00:16:32,448
I don't know, I'm really
more of a sonar individual.

222
00:16:46,962 --> 00:16:51,500
Dick! Dick! Thank Poseidon
you're alright. He lives!

223
00:16:51,533 --> 00:16:53,302
- Where are my clothes?
- Nedge?

224
00:16:53,336 --> 00:16:55,305
So, did you kill it?

225
00:16:55,337 --> 00:16:57,307
Did I kill it? No!

226
00:16:57,340 --> 00:16:58,875
Then how are you possibly
still alive?

227
00:16:58,908 --> 00:17:01,411
I dunno. One minute
he had me all wrapped up,

228
00:17:01,443 --> 00:17:03,312
then the next he was gone.

229
00:17:03,346 --> 00:17:04,681
Dear God!

230
00:17:04,713 --> 00:17:08,384
- Did you get a good look at it?
- No. Felt slimy.

231
00:17:08,417 --> 00:17:11,554
- You owe me a family heirloom.
- Yes, I do.

232
00:17:11,587 --> 00:17:13,423
I'll give you the money.

233
00:17:13,455 --> 00:17:15,358
Thank you, Seafield.

234
00:17:18,627 --> 00:17:20,462
Hey, guys, sorry!

235
00:17:20,496 --> 00:17:22,732
Sorry, my friend's terrible
at volleyball.

236
00:17:22,765 --> 00:17:25,402
Get out of here, Girlie!

237
00:17:32,375 --> 00:17:34,310
I didn't believe him.

238
00:17:34,344 --> 00:17:35,946
None of us did.

239
00:17:35,979 --> 00:17:39,548
Hmm...
A sea monster? Ridiculous.

240
00:17:39,582 --> 00:17:42,853
But he was right. That
eccentric bastard was right.

241
00:17:49,892 --> 00:17:53,663
- Wow.
- That big? Wow.

242
00:17:55,731 --> 00:17:59,469
So this huge monster
has you in its grasp

243
00:17:59,501 --> 00:18:00,803
and then it just lets you go.

244
00:18:00,836 --> 00:18:03,640
- Not a scratch.
- I wonder why.

245
00:18:03,673 --> 00:18:05,808
- Terrifying nevertheless.
- Ah...

246
00:18:08,411 --> 00:18:11,381
By the way, Seafield,
not a real sea captain.

247
00:18:11,413 --> 00:18:13,516
- Wait, seriously?
- No, I am not!

248
00:18:13,548 --> 00:18:15,618
There, happy, Nedge?
I'm docking your pay.

249
00:18:15,652 --> 00:18:17,653
- Where did you come from?
- Phoenix.

250
00:18:17,686 --> 00:18:19,521
Uh... no, just now.

251
00:18:19,555 --> 00:18:21,490
Trapdoor. It's my house, Nedge.

252
00:18:21,523 --> 00:18:23,359
This is some really
good bourbon.

253
00:18:23,393 --> 00:18:26,496
Isn't it? Ashcroft brought me
back a barrel from Glasgow.

254
00:18:26,528 --> 00:18:28,498
- Scotland?
- Kentucky.

255
00:18:28,530 --> 00:18:30,666
It's bourbon, after all.

256
00:18:30,700 --> 00:18:35,872
- Not... a moor.
- Who's Ashcroft?

257
00:18:35,904 --> 00:18:38,241
I be Ashcroft!

258
00:18:39,709 --> 00:18:42,379
I know. Tell them.

259
00:18:42,412 --> 00:18:44,980
I be Ashcroft!

260
00:18:45,013 --> 00:18:47,516
So, you're searching
for the old man, eh?

261
00:18:47,549 --> 00:18:50,452
That's right, and this is
my band of rowdy cutthroats,

262
00:18:50,486 --> 00:18:52,990
Dick, Nedge,
and Sean Shaughnessy.

263
00:18:57,727 --> 00:19:00,764
Well, I suppose
you could've done worse.

264
00:19:02,597 --> 00:19:04,500
You have a fine taste
in whiskey, sir!

265
00:19:04,534 --> 00:19:05,969
It's ruined me life!

266
00:19:06,001 --> 00:19:09,306
- What are we painting here?
- It's a freaking landscape.

267
00:19:11,441 --> 00:19:14,611
Oh, yeah. I can see it.

268
00:19:14,644 --> 00:19:17,846
So, how have you been
hunting this monster?

269
00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:19,616
Come aboard!

270
00:19:20,048 --> 00:19:21,651
Blades.

271
00:19:21,683 --> 00:19:22,885
Guns.

272
00:19:22,919 --> 00:19:24,854
- Sonar 2000.
- Sonar?

273
00:19:24,886 --> 00:19:26,855
Too good for the old ways, eh?

274
00:19:26,888 --> 00:19:29,391
Ashcroft, you know
I don't have intuition.

275
00:19:29,424 --> 00:19:30,559
He knows that.

276
00:19:30,593 --> 00:19:31,928
You don't use sonar
of any kind?

277
00:19:31,961 --> 00:19:34,698
Don't even know what it is,
to tell you the truth.

278
00:19:34,730 --> 00:19:38,301
Wait. You don't use...
How old are you?

279
00:19:43,472 --> 00:19:44,774
Thirty.

280
00:19:47,076 --> 00:19:52,615
After I graduated
high school in 2005,

281
00:19:52,647 --> 00:19:55,651
I went into the longshoreman
business to join my father.

282
00:19:55,684 --> 00:20:01,890
On my first day out, he said,
"Son! Sonar is for pussies!"

283
00:20:01,923 --> 00:20:04,394
- And that was the end of it.
- He never said that.

284
00:20:04,426 --> 00:20:07,396
- That was the end of it!
- He never said that.

285
00:20:07,430 --> 00:20:10,400
Okay, fine. He never said that.

286
00:20:10,432 --> 00:20:12,067
Anyways, the point is,

287
00:20:12,101 --> 00:20:13,870
if you're going to catch
that monster,

288
00:20:13,903 --> 00:20:15,404
you're going to have
to go at night.

289
00:20:15,438 --> 00:20:18,575
- Why at night?
- Monsters come out at night!

290
00:20:18,607 --> 00:20:21,778
- Ah, yes.
- And you'll need one of these!

291
00:20:21,810 --> 00:20:23,612
Hook your bait with this hook

292
00:20:23,645 --> 00:20:26,682
and your monster
is as good as hooked.

293
00:20:26,715 --> 00:20:28,150
I know I'm hooked.

294
00:20:28,183 --> 00:20:29,918
- Me, too.
- Me, three.

295
00:20:29,951 --> 00:20:31,654
Gimme that!

296
00:21:02,617 --> 00:21:08,758
♪ And that's when I said
goodbye... ♪

297
00:21:08,790 --> 00:21:11,126
- Yow!
- Oh, mercy!

298
00:21:11,160 --> 00:21:13,430
- Yow!
- Wonderful!

299
00:21:15,565 --> 00:21:17,167
- Whoo-hoo!
- Oh, wow.

300
00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:19,635
Absolutely terrific.

301
00:21:19,669 --> 00:21:23,773
- Dick, you're a real talent.
- Ah... I know.

302
00:21:23,806 --> 00:21:25,642
- Are you in a band?
- Use to be.

303
00:21:25,674 --> 00:21:27,609
Was the leader
of the Navy concert band.

304
00:21:27,643 --> 00:21:29,045
Like the director?

305
00:21:29,077 --> 00:21:32,080
The commanding officer.
So, yeah, the music director.

306
00:21:32,114 --> 00:21:34,550
Youngest in history, in fact.

307
00:21:34,584 --> 00:21:37,887
That's quite impressive, Dick.
I had no idea.

308
00:21:37,920 --> 00:21:41,557
It was a lot of fun. Traveling
the world, doing a lot of shows.

309
00:21:41,590 --> 00:21:44,193
Did some NFL games,
saw the Pyramids in Egypt.

310
00:21:44,227 --> 00:21:46,763
- That's awesome.
- Yeah.

311
00:21:46,796 --> 00:21:49,132
- What made you stop?
- Oh, I was discharged.

312
00:21:50,232 --> 00:21:51,967
Oh... okay.

313
00:21:53,736 --> 00:21:55,572
Yeah...

314
00:21:57,606 --> 00:21:59,675
Honorably, no doubt.

315
00:22:02,612 --> 00:22:03,846
Uh...

316
00:22:05,047 --> 00:22:07,683
No, not honorably.

317
00:22:07,717 --> 00:22:13,223
You see, I had lots of...
sexual misconduct

318
00:22:13,256 --> 00:22:17,660
with the woodwind
and percussion sections.

319
00:22:17,692 --> 00:22:19,261
I also shot the timpani player

320
00:22:19,295 --> 00:22:22,532
in a very strange
sequence of events.

321
00:22:29,305 --> 00:22:31,842
- So, dishonorable.
- Look, guy's a character.

322
00:22:54,063 --> 00:22:56,500
Battle stations!

323
00:23:00,269 --> 00:23:02,572
Wait for it...

324
00:23:04,205 --> 00:23:05,808
Now!

325
00:23:08,911 --> 00:23:11,080
- 1, 2, 3!
- Heave!

326
00:23:11,113 --> 00:23:13,950
- 1, 2, 3!
- Heave!

327
00:23:13,982 --> 00:23:16,318
- 1, 2, 3!
- Heave!

328
00:23:16,352 --> 00:23:18,086
Here it comes!

329
00:23:18,119 --> 00:23:20,923
Sean Shaughnessy!

330
00:23:20,957 --> 00:23:23,660
Sean Shaughnessy!

331
00:23:23,692 --> 00:23:26,195
Your time is up, monster!

332
00:23:36,204 --> 00:23:37,773
What...?

333
00:23:40,209 --> 00:23:41,778
Huh...

334
00:23:44,313 --> 00:23:45,882
Hmm...

335
00:23:47,782 --> 00:23:49,752
It's blank.

336
00:23:52,288 --> 00:23:54,924
Oh. Yes, of course.

337
00:24:02,365 --> 00:24:05,335
"Be seeing you...

338
00:24:08,971 --> 00:24:12,875
"...in your... dreams."

339
00:25:39,428 --> 00:25:41,264
Sean Shaughnessy!

340
00:25:47,368 --> 00:25:49,271
Does he not have
his eyebrow make-up on?

341
00:25:49,305 --> 00:25:51,207
Sean Shaughnessy!

342
00:25:55,144 --> 00:25:57,012
- I got it!
- Is that an egg?

343
00:25:57,046 --> 00:25:58,715
I got the egg!

344
00:26:02,183 --> 00:26:05,754
Sean Shaughnessy!
I got it! I got it!

345
00:26:05,788 --> 00:26:08,223
I got the egg! Hee-hee!

346
00:26:11,961 --> 00:26:14,997
Now! Shoot it, Sean Shaughnessy!
Shoot the egg!

347
00:26:15,029 --> 00:26:16,766
Is that the monster's egg?

348
00:26:16,798 --> 00:26:19,335
Yes. I saw some stuff
while I was sleeping.

349
00:26:19,367 --> 00:26:20,836
- Like a dream.
- That's the one.

350
00:26:20,869 --> 00:26:23,405
Where's your eyebrow make-up?

351
00:26:23,439 --> 00:26:25,374
I don't know
what you're talking about!

352
00:26:27,542 --> 00:26:29,244
Oh, no, you don't!

353
00:26:31,247 --> 00:26:33,182
Kill it! Kill it,
Sean Shaughnessy!

354
00:26:33,214 --> 00:26:36,118
Just like its mama
killed my daddy!

355
00:27:06,848 --> 00:27:08,283
Jesus!

356
00:27:17,026 --> 00:27:20,897
Chug, chug, chug, chug...

357
00:27:23,031 --> 00:27:24,533
Beer!

358
00:27:26,902 --> 00:27:28,538
Hurray!

359
00:27:28,570 --> 00:27:30,405
But did we have
to kill its baby?

360
00:27:30,439 --> 00:27:32,008
Blood for blood,
Nedge.

361
00:27:32,040 --> 00:27:33,809
It kills my father,
we shoot its egg.

362
00:27:33,843 --> 00:27:36,045
- Remind you of anything?
- Hmm... no.

363
00:27:36,077 --> 00:27:37,480
- Iwo Jima.
- How?

364
00:27:37,512 --> 00:27:39,247
Ooh, the candy shop!

365
00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:42,585
- So... Nedge.
- Yes?

366
00:27:42,617 --> 00:27:47,189
- What is your full name?
- Nedge Pepsi.

367
00:27:47,222 --> 00:27:51,493
No. No, I mean like
what is Nedge short for?

368
00:27:53,162 --> 00:27:55,064
Nedgecraft.

369
00:27:55,096 --> 00:27:57,465
"Nedgecraft"?

370
00:27:57,499 --> 00:27:59,935
- It's Polish.
- No, it's not.

371
00:27:59,969 --> 00:28:03,471
Your full name is
"Nedgecraft Pepsi"?

372
00:28:03,505 --> 00:28:05,241
Junior.

373
00:28:05,273 --> 00:28:08,176
Damn candy store is closed!
Bunch of pedophiles!

374
00:28:08,210 --> 00:28:10,846
Whoa! Hey, uh...
So what's our next plan, boss?

375
00:28:10,880 --> 00:28:13,082
Ah! The man knows a question
but not the answer.

376
00:28:13,115 --> 00:28:15,050
That's why I asked.

377
00:28:28,463 --> 00:28:31,333
Beach, water,
sonar station.

378
00:28:31,366 --> 00:28:33,101
Dick will carry
the egg carcass...

379
00:28:33,134 --> 00:28:34,336
Fully clothed.

380
00:28:34,369 --> 00:28:35,904
Fine.
But not your clothes.

381
00:28:35,938 --> 00:28:37,139
Everyone switch clothes.

382
00:28:37,172 --> 00:28:39,141
In order to draw
the sea hag out,

383
00:28:39,173 --> 00:28:41,911
Dick will toss the eggshells
one fathom into the sea.

384
00:28:41,943 --> 00:28:43,578
The scent will be intoxicating.

385
00:28:43,612 --> 00:28:46,182
The monster maiden
won't be able to resist.

386
00:28:46,214 --> 00:28:49,217
- She must be worried sick.
- Nedge let's hear it.

387
00:28:49,250 --> 00:28:50,485
Hear what?

388
00:28:50,519 --> 00:28:52,121
The name of the operation,
of course.

389
00:28:52,153 --> 00:28:54,289
Your last one was so clever.

390
00:28:54,323 --> 00:28:57,259
How about
Operation Eggsecution?

391
00:28:57,292 --> 00:28:58,660
Ah!

392
00:28:58,693 --> 00:29:00,528
No, no, wait, that's terrible.
But listen to this...

393
00:29:00,561 --> 00:29:03,899
Operation "Eggscuse me,
time to die!"

394
00:29:03,932 --> 00:29:06,603
And be sure to say that
when you shoot it in the brain.

395
00:30:13,102 --> 00:30:15,104
What is he doing?

396
00:30:16,238 --> 00:30:18,106
I don't know.

397
00:30:25,381 --> 00:30:28,351
Dick, I don't pay you
to flirt with inanimate objects!

398
00:30:28,384 --> 00:30:31,453
I got a guy for that.
Name's Howard.

399
00:30:45,099 --> 00:30:47,702
- Eagle's landed.
- Ah! Excellent!

400
00:30:47,736 --> 00:30:51,741
Now to play my favorite game
in the whole wide world.

401
00:30:51,773 --> 00:30:53,708
- Ah, the waiting game.
- Checkers!

402
00:30:53,741 --> 00:30:55,644
Is everything alright?

403
00:30:56,744 --> 00:30:58,146
Dick?

404
00:30:58,180 --> 00:30:59,481
So that's why you brought
that along.

405
00:30:59,515 --> 00:31:01,217
Yes.

406
00:31:01,250 --> 00:31:04,353
Why else would I bring checkers
along if not to play checkers?

407
00:31:04,385 --> 00:31:07,189
I think the eggshells
were just talking to me.

408
00:31:07,221 --> 00:31:09,224
They were talking to you?

409
00:31:10,192 --> 00:31:12,228
They were communicating.

410
00:31:12,260 --> 00:31:15,030
Like we had some sort
of strange connection.

411
00:31:17,432 --> 00:31:19,535
What possible reason
could there be

412
00:31:19,567 --> 00:31:22,504
for bringing a game
such as this to the beach

413
00:31:22,538 --> 00:31:25,474
without the intent to play it
amongst friends?

414
00:31:26,474 --> 00:31:28,243
I don't know.

415
00:31:30,778 --> 00:31:32,580
I'm docking your pay.

416
00:31:35,250 --> 00:31:36,752
Seafield, it's here.

417
00:31:41,722 --> 00:31:43,725
Where? Off the starboard?

418
00:31:43,759 --> 00:31:45,661
No, it's headed toward the egg!

419
00:31:45,693 --> 00:31:49,432
Ah! Alright, Sean Shaughnessy.
Time to make your country proud.

420
00:31:49,464 --> 00:31:52,268
It's closing in!

421
00:31:59,340 --> 00:32:01,342
Bingo!

422
00:32:01,375 --> 00:32:04,279
- This one's for you, daddy!
- Daddy?

423
00:32:21,696 --> 00:32:24,699
Aargh!

424
00:32:24,732 --> 00:32:25,701
Sean!

425
00:33:38,539 --> 00:33:43,444
Sean Shaughnessy was a better
man than most of our team.

426
00:33:43,478 --> 00:33:47,950
I'll never forget the day
I recruited him... Tuesday.

427
00:33:47,982 --> 00:33:49,751
He was bright-eyed
and bushy-tailed,

428
00:33:49,785 --> 00:33:51,387
and ready to get to work.

429
00:33:51,420 --> 00:33:55,758
He said, "Seafield, I am
your sword, I am your shield,

430
00:33:55,790 --> 00:33:58,493
"I am your weapons expert."

431
00:33:58,527 --> 00:34:01,230
Sean said that?

432
00:34:01,262 --> 00:34:02,731
He did.

433
00:34:05,534 --> 00:34:07,903
That was only the second time
anyone had ever said that to me.

434
00:34:07,935 --> 00:34:11,306
Well, I'll always remember
how brave he was.

435
00:34:11,340 --> 00:34:13,809
Whether charging into the lake
to fight the monster

436
00:34:13,842 --> 00:34:17,813
or discharging a firearm
on a public beach,

437
00:34:17,846 --> 00:34:19,981
Sean didn't care, he was brave.

438
00:34:20,014 --> 00:34:22,451
I don't have
any fond memories of Sean.

439
00:34:22,483 --> 00:34:23,885
Mostly because I'm pretty sure

440
00:34:23,918 --> 00:34:26,521
he shot and killed
my unborn child.

441
00:34:26,554 --> 00:34:28,389
You know, I had
a sneaking suspicion.

442
00:34:28,422 --> 00:34:29,791
Wait, what?

443
00:34:29,824 --> 00:34:33,528
- That egg was mine, wasn't it?
- Well... not yours.

444
00:34:33,561 --> 00:34:38,000
It's the monster's egg, Dick.
But yes! You made it happen.

445
00:34:38,032 --> 00:34:40,735
I had a dream regarding it.

446
00:34:40,768 --> 00:34:43,504
Oh, what? Are you upset?

447
00:34:43,538 --> 00:34:46,375
It was a monster baby!

448
00:34:46,407 --> 00:34:47,742
You should've at least told me

449
00:34:47,775 --> 00:34:49,877
before you let Sean shoot
the shit out of it!

450
00:34:49,911 --> 00:34:51,679
What does it even matter?

451
00:34:51,713 --> 00:34:54,617
Were you really going to raise
a grotesque hell spawn?

452
00:34:56,318 --> 00:34:58,653
- In this economy?
- I'm confused.

453
00:34:58,686 --> 00:35:00,521
It wasn't your call to make,
Seafield!

454
00:35:00,554 --> 00:35:04,826
Oh, I'm sorry!
Please forgive me!

455
00:35:04,860 --> 00:35:06,862
You're right!

456
00:35:06,894 --> 00:35:11,300
Ooh! We should've constructed
a large nest for it.

457
00:35:11,333 --> 00:35:14,802
Have Papa Dick nurture
the egg day and night

458
00:35:14,835 --> 00:35:17,472
for several weeks
under his loins,

459
00:35:17,505 --> 00:35:20,975
until one day the egg
decides to hatch

460
00:35:21,009 --> 00:35:23,478
and bite our fucking heads off!

461
00:35:23,512 --> 00:35:26,414
- I would make a great dad!
- Wait, that's it...

462
00:35:26,447 --> 00:35:28,384
It must've happened during
Operation Nauty Lady

463
00:35:28,416 --> 00:35:29,652
when Dick was naked.

464
00:35:29,684 --> 00:35:32,020
The monster seized him,
pulled him underwater,

465
00:35:32,054 --> 00:35:33,822
and somehow extracted his...

466
00:35:33,855 --> 00:35:36,525
Yes, very good, Nedge. We don't
have to go into graphic detail,

467
00:35:36,557 --> 00:35:37,693
you sick weirdo.

468
00:35:37,726 --> 00:35:39,628
I'm done with you,
Seafield.

469
00:35:39,661 --> 00:35:42,664
Your father,
he can burn in hell!

470
00:35:42,697 --> 00:35:44,632
Oh, why don't you go shoot
a timpani player,

471
00:35:44,666 --> 00:35:46,735
you big treasonous seaman?

472
00:35:46,768 --> 00:35:48,536
Hey! What are you doing here?

473
00:35:48,570 --> 00:35:50,506
You can't be digging
in a cemetery!

474
00:35:50,539 --> 00:35:52,041
That's vandalism!

475
00:35:52,074 --> 00:35:55,411
Seafield, you're vandals and
felons! I'm calling the cops!

476
00:35:55,443 --> 00:35:57,679
- Let's go, outta here.
- Get back here!

477
00:35:57,713 --> 00:36:00,481
'Uh, mission failed.

478
00:36:00,514 --> 00:36:03,851
'Failed. Failed. Failed!'

479
00:36:03,885 --> 00:36:06,522
Oh, God! Why is this so hard?

480
00:36:11,693 --> 00:36:15,731
What really happened that day,
Seafield?

481
00:36:15,764 --> 00:36:18,599
What day? There are many days.

482
00:36:18,632 --> 00:36:19,934
The day your father disappeared.

483
00:36:19,967 --> 00:36:21,903
I already told you
what happened.

484
00:36:21,936 --> 00:36:24,105
Look, I know you pay us a lot,

485
00:36:24,139 --> 00:36:27,776
and it's not really
my place to ask,

486
00:36:27,809 --> 00:36:29,612
but... come on.

487
00:36:31,612 --> 00:36:33,081
What?

488
00:36:33,114 --> 00:36:35,750
You took your boat from the
dock, immediately ran aground,

489
00:36:35,784 --> 00:36:37,653
decided to start fishing,

490
00:36:37,686 --> 00:36:40,923
and then the monster attacked
your father and took him away.

491
00:36:40,956 --> 00:36:42,524
Took him away and killed him!

492
00:36:42,556 --> 00:36:44,926
You told us your father
was a seasoned ship captain.

493
00:36:44,960 --> 00:36:47,128
This sounds like the work
of a small child

494
00:36:47,161 --> 00:36:49,564
or someone who's a drunk.

495
00:36:49,597 --> 00:36:52,433
Well, he was, Nedge! And he'd
been drinking all morning.

496
00:36:52,467 --> 00:36:53,936
I wasn't much more
fair for ware

497
00:36:53,969 --> 00:36:57,505
because you see I, too, am
a drunk. As is Ashcroft.

498
00:36:57,539 --> 00:37:00,743
And no, my father was not
a seasoned ship captain.

499
00:37:00,775 --> 00:37:02,744
I never said this,
you assumed this.

500
00:37:02,777 --> 00:37:05,446
Just as you assumed
I was a ship captain.

501
00:37:05,480 --> 00:37:07,949
As you probably assumed
Ashcroft is, too.

502
00:37:07,983 --> 00:37:10,419
It's hard not to assume
your father was a ship captain

503
00:37:10,452 --> 00:37:12,955
when you told us
your father was a ship captain.

504
00:37:12,987 --> 00:37:15,456
- Oh, I never said such a thing!
- Yes, you did!

505
00:37:15,489 --> 00:37:17,058
At the beginning
of all of this.

506
00:37:17,092 --> 00:37:19,728
A-ha... A-ha!

507
00:37:19,760 --> 00:37:22,898
Well, that must've just been
one of my little lying fits.

508
00:37:22,931 --> 00:37:25,800
I do that an awful lot
to make up for the fact

509
00:37:25,833 --> 00:37:27,902
that I don't actually have
a lot going for me.

510
00:37:27,936 --> 00:37:31,539
No, what about your house here?
You have a beautiful house.

511
00:37:31,572 --> 00:37:33,107
It's all illusion, Nedge!

512
00:37:33,141 --> 00:37:36,445
A simple parlor trick in which
a man moves into a lighthouse

513
00:37:36,478 --> 00:37:39,581
and pretends to be someone other
than the museum's docent.

514
00:37:39,614 --> 00:37:41,849
- So this is a museum?
- Yes!

515
00:37:41,882 --> 00:37:45,453
- Not your house.
- No.

516
00:37:45,487 --> 00:37:47,523
- And you're a docent here?
- And a fraud!

517
00:37:47,556 --> 00:37:49,590
We're all just a bunch
of frauds, Nedge.

518
00:37:49,623 --> 00:37:51,426
I'm the biggest charlatan
of them all.

519
00:37:51,460 --> 00:37:54,496
At least my father
and Ashcroft were sailors.

520
00:37:54,528 --> 00:37:56,632
I just stay cooped up
in my lighthouse villa

521
00:37:56,664 --> 00:37:59,101
playing make-believe
with my old-ass wife.

522
00:37:59,134 --> 00:38:01,135
You mean the state's lighthouse.

523
00:38:01,168 --> 00:38:04,839
There I go again, pretending!
This hat? A costume prop!

524
00:38:04,873 --> 00:38:08,844
This ivory? Real ivory!
Not mine! The museum's!

525
00:38:08,876 --> 00:38:10,978
In fact, I'm actually pretty
surprised none of you picked up

526
00:38:11,012 --> 00:38:13,916
on the sheer blatantness
that this is clearly a museum.

527
00:38:15,250 --> 00:38:16,652
Hmm!

528
00:38:17,686 --> 00:38:18,921
Dude, sick.

529
00:38:18,954 --> 00:38:20,722
- Yeah, sick.
- Sick.

530
00:38:20,755 --> 00:38:24,492
Okay, but why are you being
this con man?

531
00:38:24,525 --> 00:38:28,730
Because...
if I hadn't pretended

532
00:38:28,762 --> 00:38:31,733
to be this wealthy mariner...

533
00:38:33,268 --> 00:38:36,070
...none of you would've
helped me to my cause.

534
00:38:36,103 --> 00:38:40,074
I never had a mother and
I just want to find my father.

535
00:38:40,108 --> 00:38:42,744
These checks aren't good,
are they?

536
00:38:45,280 --> 00:38:47,716
Nedge! Don't go!

537
00:38:47,748 --> 00:38:50,017
Reconsider! Please!

538
00:38:50,050 --> 00:38:52,520
Those checks,
they might not be good,

539
00:38:52,554 --> 00:38:56,892
but I'm still a pretty fun guy
to hang out with!

540
00:38:56,925 --> 00:38:59,862
Come on!
Captain Cool over here!

541
00:38:59,894 --> 00:39:04,599
You know... Look, please, I'll
do anything. I'll rob a bank!

542
00:39:21,282 --> 00:39:28,623
♪ I can see the waters
in the morning

543
00:39:28,657 --> 00:39:34,863
♪ I can see the ships
sail into bay

544
00:39:34,896 --> 00:39:41,068
♪ There must be some team
who'll do my bidding

545
00:39:41,101 --> 00:39:47,108
♪ Without questioning,
drinking, dying or pay!

546
00:39:47,141 --> 00:39:52,547
♪ I know my life is
still worth living

547
00:39:52,581 --> 00:39:59,086
♪ I will conquer
foe and friend alike... ♪

548
00:39:59,119 --> 00:40:03,192
Seafield! Knock it off!
You're a terrible singer.

549
00:40:07,596 --> 00:40:08,963
Sorry.

550
00:40:09,864 --> 00:40:12,067
Did you buy a house?

551
00:40:16,271 --> 00:40:18,673
- 'Tis a sublease.
- Oh.

552
00:40:21,976 --> 00:40:25,179
Remember the first time
dad took us out on the boat?

553
00:40:25,213 --> 00:40:27,716
How could I forget?

554
00:40:27,748 --> 00:40:30,217
I was five years old.

555
00:40:30,251 --> 00:40:33,822
You couldn't have been more
than eight or nine at the time.

556
00:40:33,855 --> 00:40:35,690
We were so scared that day,

557
00:40:35,724 --> 00:40:39,027
dad taking us out on the sea
for the first time.

558
00:40:39,059 --> 00:40:42,730
Couple of landlubbers like us,
huh? Times have changed.

559
00:40:42,764 --> 00:40:46,268
But he said, "Don't be scared.
Everything will be alright.

560
00:40:46,300 --> 00:40:49,337
"This'll be a fun time.
I'll keep you safe."

561
00:40:49,371 --> 00:40:52,874
He also said, "If either one
of you should get seasick

562
00:40:52,907 --> 00:40:55,611
"and throw up all over the deck,

563
00:40:55,643 --> 00:40:59,981
I will take my harpoon gun and
I will shoot you in the face."

564
00:41:00,014 --> 00:41:01,817
Then, of course,
you did get sick

565
00:41:01,849 --> 00:41:04,118
and the rest is history,
as we may say.

566
00:41:04,152 --> 00:41:05,753
Funny guy, dad.

567
00:41:05,786 --> 00:41:07,388
Well, he did
the best he could

568
00:41:07,422 --> 00:41:10,159
as a single teenage father.

569
00:41:16,864 --> 00:41:19,634
Go to the catacombs.

570
00:41:22,336 --> 00:41:24,338
The catacombs?
Are you mad? No!

571
00:41:24,371 --> 00:41:26,007
- You must!
- I mustn't.

572
00:41:26,041 --> 00:41:27,909
- I think you should.
- Why should I?

573
00:41:27,942 --> 00:41:31,246
You killed the monster's child.
Now you're cursed.

574
00:41:31,278 --> 00:41:33,815
Well, actually the dead guy,
Sean Shaughnessy,

575
00:41:33,847 --> 00:41:35,916
he's the one who killed
the monster's child.

576
00:41:35,949 --> 00:41:38,319
I just told him to.
Ipso facto...

577
00:41:38,353 --> 00:41:40,021
Even worse!

578
00:41:40,054 --> 00:41:44,158
A man whom you have cursed
and later led to the slaughter.

579
00:41:44,192 --> 00:41:46,695
Yep, here it is.

580
00:41:46,728 --> 00:41:50,766
The wandering cursed spirit
will not rest

581
00:41:50,798 --> 00:41:57,905
until it brings the cursee's
life to a resounding end.

582
00:41:59,873 --> 00:42:01,742
What can I do, Ashcroft?

583
00:42:01,775 --> 00:42:04,745
You're a dead man walking,
Seafield.

584
00:42:04,778 --> 00:42:07,014
Might as well avenge
the old man's death

585
00:42:07,047 --> 00:42:10,751
and your friend's death
while you still can.

586
00:42:10,784 --> 00:42:13,321
Go to the catacombs.

587
00:43:09,978 --> 00:43:11,880
Fore!

588
00:43:13,213 --> 00:43:16,784
Hey, sorry about that, fellas...
Whoa, Dick! Nedge!

589
00:43:16,818 --> 00:43:20,355
What are you guys doing here?
Ice cream sandwiches?

590
00:43:20,387 --> 00:43:22,090
What do you want, Seafield?

591
00:43:22,123 --> 00:43:24,291
Alright, you've seen through my
ruse. I wasn't actually golfing.

592
00:43:24,324 --> 00:43:26,527
- Yeah, no shit.
- Get out of here, Seafield.

593
00:43:26,561 --> 00:43:28,296
Look, I'm sorry about before.

594
00:43:28,329 --> 00:43:30,031
But now I've come
to right the wrong

595
00:43:30,063 --> 00:43:31,832
of not paying you
for your services

596
00:43:31,865 --> 00:43:34,235
by paying you for your services!

597
00:43:34,268 --> 00:43:36,971
- You don't have the money.
- I'll sell my pontoon!

598
00:43:37,005 --> 00:43:39,041
You killed my unborn child.

599
00:43:40,440 --> 00:43:43,878
- I'll sell my pontoon.
- You mean the museum's pontoon.

600
00:43:43,911 --> 00:43:47,782
Ha-ha! Very funny,
Nedge the hedge. Right?

601
00:43:47,815 --> 00:43:49,850
What kind of services
are you even talking about?

602
00:43:49,884 --> 00:43:51,552
Security of my life.

603
00:43:51,585 --> 00:43:52,953
The weapon's bag
is in the graveyard.

604
00:43:52,987 --> 00:43:54,155
And we're not weapons experts.

605
00:43:54,188 --> 00:43:55,923
I don't care about any of that!

606
00:43:55,956 --> 00:43:58,292
Look, I'm going to be going up
against a lot of moving parts

607
00:43:58,326 --> 00:44:00,028
in the near future.

608
00:44:00,061 --> 00:44:02,998
I need trustworthy, reliable,
dependable people by my side.

609
00:44:03,030 --> 00:44:04,431
Besides, you know the old adage:

610
00:44:04,465 --> 00:44:06,201
"Six pairs of eyes
are better than two."

611
00:44:06,233 --> 00:44:07,869
Not an old adage.

612
00:44:07,902 --> 00:44:10,838
You mean: "Three pairs of eyes
are better than one."

613
00:44:10,871 --> 00:44:13,875
Yes, if I were Ashcroft
and only had one pair of eyes,

614
00:44:13,907 --> 00:44:15,277
that would be correct.

615
00:44:15,309 --> 00:44:17,311
But I have two pairs of eyes
and there are two of you,

616
00:44:17,344 --> 00:44:19,980
so that makes it
six pairs of eyes.

617
00:44:20,014 --> 00:44:23,218
You know one pair of eyes
makes two eyeballs?

618
00:44:23,251 --> 00:44:25,519
A pear is also a fruit, Nedge.

619
00:44:25,552 --> 00:44:29,857
In that case, yes, a pair
of pears would be two pear.

620
00:44:29,891 --> 00:44:33,461
Two pairs of two pears
would be four pears.

621
00:44:33,494 --> 00:44:36,264
No! There would be two pear.

622
00:44:36,297 --> 00:44:39,501
- Two pairs of pears?
- No!

623
00:44:39,534 --> 00:44:42,971
- Or two pear.
- Yes, that's right.

624
00:44:43,003 --> 00:44:48,309
As if you're describing
the plural form of "pear"...

625
00:44:48,342 --> 00:44:50,911
In its singular form!

626
00:44:50,945 --> 00:44:53,615
Oh! So you think "pear"
is like "deer"?

627
00:44:53,648 --> 00:44:55,383
Or "lamb".

628
00:44:55,416 --> 00:44:59,187
No! A pear is a fruit!

629
00:44:59,219 --> 00:45:00,955
Bye, Seafield.

630
00:45:35,456 --> 00:45:37,593
Aargh... Aargh!

631
00:45:41,396 --> 00:45:43,398
You killed me.

632
00:45:43,431 --> 00:45:47,168
'The wandering cursed spirit
will not rest

633
00:45:47,201 --> 00:45:53,574
'until it brings the cursee's
life to a resounding end.'

634
00:46:12,427 --> 00:46:14,930
Oh, my God, what's that?

635
00:46:16,331 --> 00:46:18,166
What...?

636
00:46:44,726 --> 00:46:47,028
'Next stop: Lighthouse Island.'

637
00:47:24,097 --> 00:47:27,201
'Prepare for arrival
at Lighthouse Island.'

638
00:48:16,083 --> 00:48:17,451
Captain?

639
00:48:22,456 --> 00:48:24,324
Captain?

640
00:48:26,193 --> 00:48:28,063
Captain?

641
00:48:29,362 --> 00:48:31,500
Uh... Captain?

642
00:48:35,702 --> 00:48:37,304
Captain?

643
00:48:38,806 --> 00:48:40,708
Yep, this is a phantom ship.

644
00:48:54,155 --> 00:48:57,259
Milwaukee?
We're going backwards.

645
00:49:00,128 --> 00:49:03,097
Gotta turn this bird around.

646
00:49:08,802 --> 00:49:12,639
♪ Dear Old Captain Seafield,
you're a stinker, it's true

647
00:49:12,672 --> 00:49:16,543
♪ You put forty odd bullets
through your favorite nephew

648
00:49:16,577 --> 00:49:20,582
♪ You ran from the battle,
your men never get paid

649
00:49:20,614 --> 00:49:23,250
♪ And down in the black
of your past

650
00:49:23,284 --> 00:49:26,788
♪ Lurks a mean old sea hag

651
00:49:31,925 --> 00:49:36,297
♪ Dear Old Captain Seafield,
you're a thief and a cheat

652
00:49:36,329 --> 00:49:40,335
♪ You broke into my lodging
and stole my good meat

653
00:49:40,367 --> 00:49:44,304
♪ You made eyes at me daughter,
you sullied my wife

654
00:49:44,338 --> 00:49:48,643
♪ You're a damn drunken devil
and the best friend... ♪

655
00:49:58,318 --> 00:50:01,456
Pure intuition! Ha-ha-ha!

656
00:50:23,577 --> 00:50:25,413
Aargh!

657
00:50:42,230 --> 00:50:43,597
Alright.

658
00:50:44,331 --> 00:50:45,833
Hmm... Ah...

659
00:50:51,938 --> 00:50:53,807
Alright...

660
00:51:02,949 --> 00:51:04,851
Urgh...

661
00:51:04,885 --> 00:51:06,854
Uh...?

662
00:51:06,887 --> 00:51:08,456
No.

663
00:51:09,023 --> 00:51:11,358
Uh... ah...

664
00:51:12,460 --> 00:51:16,431
Ah... hmm...

665
00:51:16,463 --> 00:51:18,967
Ah, God, I wish I was
a sea captain.

666
00:51:21,768 --> 00:51:23,237
Ah...

667
00:51:26,440 --> 00:51:29,476
Shit! Oh!

668
00:51:36,717 --> 00:51:37,818
Shit.

669
00:51:53,400 --> 00:51:56,270
Perhaps this will do...

670
00:51:59,039 --> 00:52:01,775
Oh! Success!

671
00:52:10,818 --> 00:52:12,787
Ah, here we are.

672
00:52:16,791 --> 00:52:18,260
Yes!

673
00:52:40,614 --> 00:52:42,550
Hello, Ashcroft! Wh...?

674
00:52:53,059 --> 00:52:54,929
Seafield...

675
00:52:56,097 --> 00:52:58,900
There's something
I have to tell you.

676
00:53:00,000 --> 00:53:03,371
The reason we don't have
a mother

677
00:53:03,403 --> 00:53:08,543
is because she was harpooned
to death by our father.

678
00:53:24,692 --> 00:53:26,427
Who wants fish sticks?

679
00:53:26,460 --> 00:53:28,530
Not now, Martha!

680
00:53:46,746 --> 00:53:49,817
'Go to the catacombs.'

681
00:55:09,996 --> 00:55:11,899
Ghost Army!

682
00:55:27,715 --> 00:55:30,885
Father... is dead.

683
00:55:32,286 --> 00:55:35,722
Ashcroft is also dead.

684
00:55:35,755 --> 00:55:37,157
Monster cut his head off.

685
00:55:37,190 --> 00:55:39,593
I did not want to ask
for your help,

686
00:55:39,626 --> 00:55:41,962
but now I'm running short
on time.

687
00:55:43,630 --> 00:55:46,967
Anyways... uh...

688
00:55:49,269 --> 00:55:51,239
What I got here?

689
00:55:55,809 --> 00:55:58,813
My life I vow...

690
00:55:59,847 --> 00:56:01,182
...if you help me now.

691
00:56:07,820 --> 00:56:09,023
Anyone?

692
00:56:10,757 --> 00:56:14,495
My life I vow...
if you help me now.

693
00:56:17,998 --> 00:56:21,202
There's one. Yes, yes.
Alright.

694
00:56:21,235 --> 00:56:26,274
Oh, we have two! Who's next?
Right here. Alright.

695
00:56:26,306 --> 00:56:29,276
Yes, yes, yes!

696
00:56:29,309 --> 00:56:33,648
Yes. Come!
Follow me, Ghost Army!

697
00:57:30,637 --> 00:57:32,672
Go get 'em, boys!

698
00:58:03,237 --> 00:58:04,639
Well?

699
00:58:42,242 --> 00:58:44,746
You're not good at this game,
Mr. Ghost.

700
00:58:46,947 --> 00:58:49,849
'This is Ghost 4
coming in on can 2.

701
00:58:49,882 --> 00:58:52,185
'Like I said, this is
Ghost 4 coming in on can 2.'

702
00:58:52,219 --> 00:58:55,121
Can you read me? Seafield,
we are having trouble down here.

703
00:58:55,155 --> 00:58:57,191
Troop leaders getting
demolished by this thing.

704
00:58:57,224 --> 00:58:59,994
We were not prepared for the
magnitude of this hellish beast.

705
00:59:00,027 --> 00:59:02,396
Oh! Oh, good God!

706
00:59:02,429 --> 00:59:06,099
Oh! Oh, Seafield,
we need to reassess our plan.

707
00:59:06,132 --> 00:59:09,069
We're losing a lot of good
ghosts. And we need a moment...

708
00:59:14,942 --> 00:59:17,744
The battle wages on.
Your move.

709
00:59:27,521 --> 00:59:32,159
You're worse
than Martha. And she's senile.

710
00:59:32,192 --> 00:59:34,027
Uh?

711
00:59:46,472 --> 00:59:48,809
It was a massacre.

712
01:00:03,891 --> 01:00:07,094
'Stop sending
daddy's Ghost Army.

713
01:00:07,126 --> 01:00:09,463
Come fight me yourself!'

714
01:01:13,360 --> 01:01:15,463
What...?

715
01:01:17,097 --> 01:01:19,500
- Oh!
- Die!

716
01:01:51,565 --> 01:01:53,400
A-ha-ha!

717
01:03:11,744 --> 01:03:15,148
Uh?

718
01:03:57,690 --> 01:03:59,759
Oh...

719
01:04:59,686 --> 01:05:02,088
Must be imagining things.

720
01:05:09,728 --> 01:05:11,131
What are you doing?

721
01:05:12,599 --> 01:05:14,035
What?

722
01:05:16,103 --> 01:05:17,371
What?

723
01:05:18,871 --> 01:05:20,840
Monster?

724
01:05:20,873 --> 01:05:23,076
In there?

725
01:05:27,313 --> 01:05:29,148
No! No, no, no, no.

726
01:05:29,181 --> 01:05:31,150
Wait, wait, wait. Hold on
one second. Wait, wait, wait.

727
01:05:31,184 --> 01:05:33,253
No, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

728
01:05:33,286 --> 01:05:35,489
No, no, no, Mr. Ghost,
you go in there first.

729
01:05:35,521 --> 01:05:37,623
I vowed my life to you people.

730
01:05:37,657 --> 01:05:40,760
Now, get in there
and make something happen.

731
01:05:40,793 --> 01:05:42,496
I believe in you.

732
01:06:02,882 --> 01:06:04,451
Shh!

733
01:06:15,394 --> 01:06:17,364
Ooh!

734
01:06:17,396 --> 01:06:19,565
Shh! Shh!

735
01:06:19,599 --> 01:06:21,702
Jesus! Goddamnit!

736
01:07:25,498 --> 01:07:26,867
Father.

737
01:07:58,530 --> 01:08:01,634
All out of patsies are we,
darling?

738
01:08:04,704 --> 01:08:06,539
Sea hag!

739
01:08:07,440 --> 01:08:09,775
I shall have my revenge!

740
01:08:09,809 --> 01:08:12,746
For my brother!

741
01:08:14,748 --> 01:08:19,386
Well, that was my revenge
for my unborn child!

742
01:08:19,418 --> 01:08:22,855
Well, that was my revenge
for my father!

743
01:08:28,295 --> 01:08:31,364
Well, that was my revenge...

744
01:08:31,398 --> 01:08:33,567
for your father...

745
01:08:33,600 --> 01:08:36,737
harpooning my mother to death!

746
01:08:39,572 --> 01:08:42,542
Oh, boo-hoo,
he harpooned my mother, too.

747
01:08:44,978 --> 01:08:46,680
Come here, baby...

748
01:08:56,055 --> 01:09:00,560
Seafield, he harpooned
my mother and your mother.

749
01:09:02,028 --> 01:09:04,431
Seafield...

750
01:09:04,463 --> 01:09:06,899
we have the same parents.

751
01:09:13,472 --> 01:09:15,376
Try to remember.

752
01:09:26,353 --> 01:09:28,555
Blasphemy!

753
01:09:28,587 --> 01:09:31,024
- What...?
- Liar!

754
01:09:40,466 --> 01:09:42,036
Damn!

755
01:10:05,492 --> 01:10:08,962
Uh... you must be
a visual learner.

756
01:10:16,970 --> 01:10:21,408
'Yes, we are kin,
Seafield.

757
01:10:21,440 --> 01:10:23,577
'When the three of us
were little,

758
01:10:23,609 --> 01:10:26,145
'our father was a drunkard.

759
01:10:26,179 --> 01:10:28,849
'Every night after work,
he would get hammered

760
01:10:28,881 --> 01:10:32,152
'and head to the lake to see
our hideous sea monster mother,

761
01:10:32,185 --> 01:10:35,822
'and love her for who she was.

762
01:10:35,854 --> 01:10:41,427
'But one day, he went
to the liquor store at 12:05,

763
01:10:41,461 --> 01:10:43,963
'five minutes after closing,

764
01:10:43,997 --> 01:10:49,101
'and could not purchase
any ice-cold Milwaukee brews.

765
01:10:49,135 --> 01:10:53,105
'He went home sober.

766
01:10:53,139 --> 01:10:55,876
'Upon seeing his wife through
sober eyes for the first time,

767
01:10:55,908 --> 01:10:57,911
'he was shocked
at her disgusting face

768
01:10:57,944 --> 01:11:00,046
'and immediately harpooned her,

769
01:11:00,078 --> 01:11:04,583
'leaving the three of us
without a mother.

770
01:11:04,617 --> 01:11:06,485
'I have no patience for men

771
01:11:06,519 --> 01:11:09,756
'who come home sober
and beat their wives.

772
01:11:09,788 --> 01:11:11,724
'So when I came of killing age,

773
01:11:11,757 --> 01:11:14,027
'I took vengeance
upon the old man.

774
01:11:14,060 --> 01:11:17,664
'This gave me peace.

775
01:11:17,697 --> 01:11:21,734
'Now, I want to put
our violent past behind us.

776
01:11:21,768 --> 01:11:25,639
'So I birthed a child
by the naked swimming man.

777
01:11:25,671 --> 01:11:27,506
'But you rejected
this peace offering

778
01:11:27,539 --> 01:11:29,576
'and killed your own nephew,

779
01:11:29,609 --> 01:11:33,680
'so I settled the score
with Ashcroft.

780
01:11:33,712 --> 01:11:37,183
'Now that we are even
once more, I ask you...'

781
01:11:42,255 --> 01:11:48,127
Brother, let us make peace
and end this cycle of vengeance.

782
01:12:01,707 --> 01:12:03,777
Come here, big sis!

783
01:12:03,810 --> 01:12:06,546
Oh! Come here, little bro!

784
01:12:06,578 --> 01:12:10,483
- I'm sorry!
- I'm sorry, too!

785
01:12:10,516 --> 01:12:13,220
- Bring it in!
- Bring it in.

786
01:12:33,139 --> 01:12:35,509
I didn't believe your story
for a second!

787
01:12:35,542 --> 01:12:38,545
It's true! I'm not lying!

788
01:12:38,578 --> 01:12:40,146
It's all lies!

789
01:12:40,179 --> 01:12:45,118
Everyone knows Milwaukee liquor
stores close at 9:00 not 12:00!

790
01:12:45,150 --> 01:12:49,188
Seafield, I'm your sister.
How could you kill your own...?

791
01:12:49,221 --> 01:12:52,192
Wait... 9:00?

792
01:12:52,225 --> 01:12:56,029
- 9:00pm?
- Yeah, I know.

793
01:12:57,697 --> 01:13:00,300
That's just so early.

794
01:13:00,332 --> 01:13:02,301
I know, I know.
It's actually ridiculous.

795
01:13:02,335 --> 01:13:04,671
I want to hear their reasoning
on that, you know.

796
01:13:04,703 --> 01:13:07,072
Granted. I think we would
all appreciate that.

797
01:13:07,105 --> 01:13:09,576
I mean, I don't have
the numbers in front of me...

798
01:13:09,609 --> 01:13:11,578
- Well...
- How is that... I mean...

799
01:13:11,610 --> 01:13:12,778
Who's that helping?

800
01:13:12,811 --> 01:13:15,215
I honestly think
the idea is that, uh...

801
01:13:15,247 --> 01:13:18,918
people will go out to bars
and restaurants, spend money.

802
01:13:18,952 --> 01:13:20,820
Help support the local economy,

803
01:13:20,853 --> 01:13:22,855
I think that's where
their heads are at, anyways.

804
01:13:25,257 --> 01:13:27,560
Maybe.

805
01:13:27,594 --> 01:13:30,630
Maybe, huh... Some of these
ordinances, I tell you.

806
01:13:30,662 --> 01:13:32,298
Some of these ordinances,
indeed.

807
01:13:32,332 --> 01:13:34,935
- Huh!
- Hmm...

808
01:13:38,871 --> 01:13:41,307
And now to get my revenge!

809
01:13:43,676 --> 01:13:45,745
I've avenged you, father!

810
01:13:45,778 --> 01:13:48,148
I am a hero!

811
01:13:48,180 --> 01:13:50,550
Everyone, take heed!

812
01:13:55,822 --> 01:13:58,225
Ah... Oh...

813
01:14:08,234 --> 01:14:10,037
Thank you.

814
01:14:11,738 --> 01:14:13,606
Aargh! Ow!

815
01:14:13,640 --> 01:14:16,209
Thank you for avenging me.

816
01:14:20,012 --> 01:14:22,649
Oh... ha-ha-ha!

817
01:14:22,681 --> 01:14:26,319
Rest in peace, Sean Shaughnessy.

818
01:15:16,674 --> 01:15:21,674
Subtitles by explosiveskull
www.OpenSubtitles.org

819
01:15:24,077 --> 01:15:28,681
♪ Dear Old Captain Seafield,
the monster, you say

820
01:15:28,715 --> 01:15:32,786
♪ Rose up from the depths,
and men started to pray

821
01:15:32,819 --> 01:15:37,123
♪ Your father stood bravely
with harpoon in hand

822
01:15:37,155 --> 01:15:44,030
♪ And that was the last
that anyone's seen of the man

823
01:15:48,935 --> 01:15:53,740
♪ Dear Old Captain Seafield,
with your old man long gone

824
01:15:53,773 --> 01:15:57,743
♪ You sure found some trouble
and it didn't take long

825
01:15:57,777 --> 01:16:01,980
♪ You assembled a fine crew
of misfits and scum

826
01:16:02,014 --> 01:16:04,884
♪ So roll up your sleeves,
you skullduggers

827
01:16:04,917 --> 01:16:08,689
♪ And mind you the rum

828
01:16:13,391 --> 01:16:18,497
♪ Dear Old Captain Seafield,
he went off to sea

829
01:16:18,530 --> 01:16:22,868
♪ He came back no captain,
though pretended to be

830
01:16:22,902 --> 01:16:26,872
♪ He said he'd found treasure
on far distant shore

831
01:16:26,905 --> 01:16:29,876
♪ But all he could show
was some crabs

832
01:16:29,908 --> 01:16:33,412
♪ He caught from a whore

833
01:16:44,390 --> 01:16:49,195
♪ Dear Old Captain Seafield,
he stumbled the world

834
01:16:49,228 --> 01:16:53,298
♪ And told his lying brags
down to every sweet girl

835
01:16:53,332 --> 01:16:57,837
♪ He'll try to impress you
with maps and with charts

836
01:16:57,869 --> 01:17:01,140
♪ But truly his gift is
to clear out the bar

837
01:17:01,173 --> 01:17:04,010
♪ With his farts

838
01:17:09,948 --> 01:17:14,253
♪ Dear Old Captain Seafield,
you're a wild game of chance

839
01:17:14,287 --> 01:17:18,324
♪ His luck comes and goes
like the moon and his pants

840
01:17:18,356 --> 01:17:22,561
♪ You live by a code
these damn pirates still swear

841
01:17:22,595 --> 01:17:25,498
♪ The stray dogs,
they love him for sure

842
01:17:25,530 --> 01:17:29,502
♪ The cats, they beware

843
01:17:36,108 --> 01:17:40,113
♪ Dear Old Captain Seafield! ♪