Leni has a secret admirer

>It was Valentine's day again.
>Lincoln panted and puffed at the bottom of the stairs, too exhausted to ascend.
>Year after year he had to supply each family member with a personalized valentine.
>Perfumes, sweets, and little songs on his banjo.
>It was enough to make a man sick.
>"Lincoln! Are you my secret admirer?"
>Lincoln attempted to raise his head to look at Leni.
>"Oh em gosh, that's so totally sweet of you to do something like this! Secret admirers are, like, the most romantic thing ever!"
>"Leni, I didn't give you that."
>Leni stopped.
>"Of course you did, remember? Here's the letter!"
>"Leni, you're wearing my Valentine's day gift to you on your head."
>Leni took off a pair of heart-shaped sunglasses.
>"Oh, right! Sorry about that. But, like, who could be my secret admirer, then?"
>Leni sat on the stairs next to Lincoln's head, deep in thought.
>Lincoln could hear the gears in her head spin wildly out of control.
>"Oh my gosh, it must be the mailman! He handed me this letter! The mailman is the secret admirer!"
>Leni began to talk so fast that Lincoln could swear he could see smoke flying out of her mouth.
>She was connecting dots where there could not have possibly been any.
>"Leni, the mailman can't be the secret admirer. He gives all of us letters."
>"Huh?"
>Leni ground to a halt as her theories crumbled into dust.
>"Oh yeah. That totally makes sense."
>Leni barely made it up the stairs before she forgot what she was sad about.
>"Hey, Lucy?"
>Lucy's voice emanated from a nearby vent.
>"Yes, Leni?"
>"Did you, like, send me this secret admirer letter?"
>There was a beat of silence.
>"Read what it says to me."
>Leni uncrumpled the paper and cleared her throat.
>"Oh, Leni, to see your eyes is like trying to find the lost city of Kadath-"
>"I didn't write it."
>"But, like, how do you know?"
>"I detest Lovecraft's writings. That, and the meter is horrendously timed."
>"So then someone else wrote it?"
>"I suggest talking to Luan. It sounds like a prank."
>"Okay. HEY LUA-"
>"Oh my literal god, Leni. I wrote it."
>Leni turned to see Lori carrying a laundry basket upstairs.
>"Laura? Do you know who my secret admirer is?"
>"Yes, because I literally just told you that I'm your secret admirer."
>Leni blushed and hid her eyes.
>"But, that's forbidden love."
>"Leni, cut it out. I don't love you like that."
>Lori stared deep into Leni's eyes.
>"I, like, literally love you because I love watching you. Yeah, you're annoying and you talk too much and you act weird, but I love you because of that. You're effortless to love, Leni, because you do everything in literally the best way possible. I love being your roommate, I love being your sister, and I'm literally gonna miss you a lot in college."
>Leni's eyes welled up, and the two hugged it out in the hallway.
>"So, like, does this mean I have to break up with Chaz?"
>"No, Leni. We're not a couple."