The Adventures of the Chaos Colt (CHPT 2)

The Adventures of the Chaos Colt!

Chapter 2 - Cooking Chaos

>HORSEFEATHERS! Why did he always do this to you? You know you screwed up big time… Again… But come on! The one time, the ONE SINGLE time you get to go outside of this stupid chaos dimension and he has to send you home because you screwed up.
>Dumb chaos powers... Wish you never had them! You get up from the ground and grumble, sulking over to the stairs and kicking a nearby floating stand, only to stub your hoof.
“OW! Dang it!”
>You suck on your hoof to ease the pain and grumble. There’s no point in being down in the dumps about it… You constantly have to face the fact that you have these stupid powers that ruin everything you try to do.
>But Dad praises you for having them, saying you’re “Destined for chaos!”. Yet every single time, your powers just get way out of hoof when you don’t want them to! You just hope, REALLY hope, that Dad is right about it being a phase.
>Your stomach grumbles, causing you to grab it with your hoof.
“Guess going to Equestria for once made me hungry.”
>You perk up and walk into the kitchen, holding up your head high and not letting any doubt get to you anymore. Yeah! It’s just a phase! You’ll be a master of chaos soon enough.
>Wait, if you’re hungry… That means it’s meal time! And that meant that you could…
“Chef Discord!”
>You poke your head into the kitchen and look around.
“Chef Discord?”
>The kitchen looked like any ordinary kitchen, but anypony who’d think it was would be fooled for sure! Wooden cabinets, a stove, microwave, fridge, you name it.
>Meal time is always your favorite part of the day, because you get to hang out with Dad for at least a good hour. Sometimes he would change the kitchen to a clubs, restaurants, or heck, even fiestas! But it’d still just be the two of you.

>You walk towards the fridge and put your hoof on the handle. Without hesitation, you swing open the white door with a big smile across your face. A blurred object flies out from the fridge and bounces around the room several times, until finally it lands onto the dining table and extends its arms out.
>”HON HON! I guess ze little colt is famished?” This was one of the many clones of Discord that your dad himself had set up around the house to take care of you while he’s gone on ‘business trips’. The copy wore a chef’s hat, a chef’s apron that says, “Anything mixes with Chaos!”, a bent spatula, and a curled mustache above his upper lip.
“CHEF DISCORD!”
>You sit down and clap your hooves in excitement, but suddenly tilt your head in confusion.
“What does famished mean?”
>The chef keeps his pose, closing his eyes, and sniffing in the aroma of… nothing. “Ah, ze scent of ze chaos! How so long have I waited to breaze it…” Chef Discord jolts open his eyes and looks down at you, flipping his spatula from his talon to his paw. “Hon hon! Zat is ze job of your tutors, non? For even I do not know what it means.”
“If it means hungry, oh boy am I! Can I help you cook like always?”
>The chef hops down and gestures to the counter. “Why of course! If zere is one zing I know best, it is how to make ze best cuisine in ze Chaos Void!” Chef Discord opens the pocket of his apron, and in a flurry of arm gestures and movements he sets up all the tools and ingredients on the counter.
>There are… Magnets, rocks, pencil shavings, a jar of flies, a stack of DVD guides on ‘Break Dancing’... Just all kinds of random stuff!
>”What is it zat ze colt tongue would like to bite upon?” He bends over and tilts his head so his ear is close enough to hear what you have to say.

>Hmmmmm. HMMMMM… You tap your chin. Boy, did you have a craving for a hay sandwich, but watching Dad turn mountains into ice cream put you in the mood for a frozen treat. But here’s the best part!
>You clear your throat and answer politely.
“Can I get Hay Sandwich Ice Cream?”
>Chef Discord strokes his mustache and looks down at you with a smug face. “Ze chef is not sure. Can you have ze Hay Zandwich Crème Glacée?” You giggle and roll your eyes.
“MAY I have Hay Sandwich Ice Cream…”
>”Hon hon hon! Ze colt may have his treat! But first-” He raises his talon finger up and narrows his eyes. “-a good Chaos Chef must not know what ingredients he is working wiz! Pass me some random ingredients, Sue Chef Anon!” You salute and look over at the contents. Yep, as always, you had no idea what this stuff was.
>You pick up a bowl of neon orange powder that smelled like grass and extend it out to the chef.
“How about some of this?”
>Chef Discord puts his head close to the bowl, eyeballs it for a moment, then strokes his mustache. “Ze Powdered Hicklefruit?” He steps back and shakes his head and talon at the same time. “Non non non! Try somzing else! Somzing with strong flavour!” You look next to the bowl and spot several photos of haystacks in a pile.
“How about these pictures?”
>”Hon hon hon! Zat is some excellent flavor, Sue Chef Anon!” He scoops up the pile with his spatula, tosses them into the air, and does a flurry of karate chops. The photos get cut into tiny pieces as they slowly fall into a pot over the stove.
>”It will also add ze falvor for ze hay. Now!-” Once again, he raises his talon finger up and narrows his eyes. “-somzing zat is ze opposite of creamy! But not too much! Non non non! Even Chaos Cooking needs ze balance…”

>Uhhh… Let’s see… Something creamy, but not too creamy… Ahah- OH GOSH IT SMELLS. You cover your muzzle with one hoof, causing your voice to be more nasally.
“Ewwww… What about this rotten cheese?”
>You take a brave sniff, and gag immediately with your eyes starting to water. Chef Discord takes the cheese and gives it a good sniff. “Ahhhh… Ze gourmet 100 year old Yak cheese! Very good taste indeed!” He throws the entire block into the pot.
>”We lack ze element to make it chilly. So, Sue Chef Anon! Find me ze chili pepper!” It didn’t take long until for you to find the red pepper in the clutter of tools and odd ingredients. You raise the pepper triumphantly up to your mentor.
“Here it is!”
>Chef Discord examines the pepper suspiciously. His eye bulges out and scans the vegetable. Then he puts it on his sharp tooth, and bends it like a piece of metal. “Zis is a genuine chili pepper! Into ze pot it goes! ZINK FAST!” The chef tosses the pepper over to you. With swift action, you buck the pepper straight into the pot.
“SCORE!”
>Aw yeah, first try! Chef Discord applauses your success. “Nimble and swift! Very good! Now-” He does the pointing thing once more. “-pass ze megaphone, Sue Chef Anon.” You pick up a megaphone from the counter and switch it on. You give it a test.
“Testing… Yep! It works!”
>The chaos chef takes the megaphone, takes a deep breath causing his belly to puff up, and screams at the top of his lungs. You cover your ears and close your eyes. “FREEZE!” The pot instantly freezes up into an ice cube.
>“Ze last step! Heat ze ice cream in ze active volcano!” The chef picks up the entire pot, but it’s too heavy to carry by himself. After opening your eyes and uncovering your ears, you see Chef Discord knees wobble as he tries to regain balance. You dash over and help him hold up the pot with your head.

“Agh! Why… Is it so heavy?!”
>Eugh, it’s not that heavy but- AGH! You feel yourself get flattened by the weight of the pot. Chef Discord strokes his mustache and thinks. “Probably too much Zillermunch… Oh! I am sorry, Sue Chef Anon!” He lifts up the pot that he dropped and picks up your flattened body. He blows into you until you inflate into a giant balloonl. You float down and let all the extra air out, whizzing around the air until you land and turn back to normal.
“Pheeeeeeeeeeeeew… Good thing the laws of reality don’t work here! At least that’s one good thing about chaos magic, huh?”
>The chef nods and brings the pot to the fridge. “Hon hon hon! Very true! Now open ze fridge, s'il vous plaît.” You open the fridge, revealing a piping hot crater filled with lava. The heat is so intense that it burns boths your eyebrows off. The chef swings the pot three times, until he finally lets go and flings the entire thing into the pit.
>You close the fridge and look up at the chef as he dusts off his hands and snaps his talons, giving you both your eyebrows back.
“Uh… Now what-”
>Your mouth is covered by Chef Discord’s paw finger as he shushes you. “Sh sh sh! Wait for it…” You wait for a couple of seconds, then hear a ding from the microwave. “HON HON! IT IS DONE! Sit at ze table! I will serve ze guest of honour!”
>Aww yeah! Time to get some tasty foodles! You trot over to the dining table, pull out a chair, climbing on top, and sitting patiently for your meal.
>Chef Discord opens the microwave, revealing three perfect scoops of Hay Sandwich Ice Cream in a silver grail. He takes a silver dish, places the grail onto the dish, and covers it with a silver cover.
>”Ze piping hot and cold Hay Sandwich Ice Cream! And it is for zis handsome colt right-” The chef places the plate down in front of you and takes off the cover. “-here! Enjoy, Monsieur Anon!”

>Chef Discord bows and holds onto his chef hat. “And I take my leave!” He pulls the hat down, the tiny white cap swallowing his entire body as it spins. “HON HON HON-!” And poof! The cap disappears, taking Chef Discord with it.
>Awww… Well, it was fun while it lasted. You pick up the only utensil Discord ever placed on the table. A silver spork. You take the spork and dig into your ice cream, putting a big scoop into your mouth.
“Mmmm… It’s creamy and yummy, but warm and tastes like a Hay Sandwich!”
>You swallow some of the treat and look up to show your dad.
“Hey Dad! Check this thing I made with Chef… Oh… Right...”
>You look at the empty seat across the table where Dad would usually sit. This is usually the highlight of your day, spending meal time with Dad… And he isn’t here to spend it with you. You look around the room and place the spork down.
“Dad? You home yet?”
>That’s weird… He usually would be home by now. He’s always home for meal time. You get up from your seat and go back into the living room.
“Daaaaad?”
>Your voice echoes in the room. No response. You go over to the couch and look under it.
“Dad?”
>Not under the couch… Maybe in the lamp? You go over to the little stand with an upside down lamp.
“Yoohoo! Come out Dad!”
>With a click, you turn on the lamp. Nothing! Where the heck is he?!
“It’s not funny Dad! You’re missing out on this awwwwesome treat I made! I bet your clone can whip up another one!”
>Again, you are only talking to yourself. Guess he’s not coming for foodles… Your ears droop down and you drag yourself back to the kitchen. You carelessly slump onto the chair and climb up, resting your head onto the table.

“There’s always tomorrow, right? Yeah! Always tomorrow! Always… Tomorrow...”
>Oh no… What if he’s late because of that monster you accidentally made? No no no no… This is all your fault! What if he doesn’t come home for bedtime? Or, or, he gets hurt! Oh please no…
>Stupid powers! Stupid stupid stupid stupid! You slam your face into the ice cream and groan, splattering Hay Sandwich Ice Cream all over the table. You’re just a screw up. A dumb little green colt who always ruins everything.
>You lift up your head, face caked and covered in Hay Sandwich Ice Cream. Tears begin to mix with the food on your face, and your eyes start to sting.
“I’m sorry, Dad… I’m sorry I can’t make you proud…”
>You wipe your face and tears, finishing of what remains of your meal, and dump the dirty cup and spork into the sink with the rest of the dirty dishes.
>Exiting the kitchen, you decide that you’d go to your room. At least there, you can be somewhere where you can’t screw up anything, ever.
>C’mon Anon! It’s not so bad. Yeah, you might be lonely most of the time, even with Dad’s clones around the house. Discord may be out more often recently because of his plan to take over Equestria, but you still had your awesome room!
>You snap out of your sad state and regain your spirits, approaching the bottom of the stairs on the side of the wall with determination. You use what little chaos magic Dad allows you to use to float up and stick to the side of the wall. Once safely attached, you make your way upstairs.
>At the top of the stairs is a small hallway with four different doors. One is your dad’s office, in which was usually just pitch black nothing if he wasn’t in it to create his office into, well… Anything. The door had a little panel on it that displayed words such as “DO NOT ENTER, ANON! Talking to the next door void serpent, and SHEESH, is he a feisty one!”

>The second door is the ‘guest’ bedroom just in case anypony came to visit. Which was never. The third door is just a random purple portal that could lead to anything, including your room.
>And the last door is this giant, humongous metal safe door with several chains and locks on it. Unlike the other doors, it’s at the very end of the hallways, looming over like a towering giant.
>That’s the way out of the void. The way to Equestria.... Your dad locked it all up with magical locks and stuff so you wouldn’t get out… There were… Several attempts, aheh… Also, your dad served as the gatekeeper of the chaos void, so he only let out what he wanted into Equestria.
>Walking up to the portal door, you use your magic to open the portal to your room. Alright, just focus and… There! That should- OH JEEZ! You cover your face with your forelegs and scoot backwards.
>The Smooze was on the other side of the portal in a tub with a shower cap on. It covers itself with the curtain and jiggles aggressively.
“SORRY!”
>CLOSE CLOSE CLOSE…! The portal shuts and opens up to your room this time. Agh! You’ll never get a handle on this chaos stuff. But you won’t give up, either! Because you’re the son of Discord, Spirit of Chaos!
>You step into the portal as it shuts behind you, causing you to fall onto a water slide. You slide all the way down into an immense dome shaped chamber mostly made of light brown wood and some metal to reinforce it.
>At the bottom of the slide, you splash into a mini pool filled with lukewarm water. You pop your head out and doggy paddle over to the stairs, shaking your body to dry the fur. Oh! At least the cool part about your powers is you could do this!
>You conjure up a unicorn horn, and use your new, but regular magic to levitate a towel over from one of your drawers. You dry up, rubbing the towel on your rump, head, and legs. And once done, you poof the towel into your dirty laundry basket.

>Welp, time to start having fun! You take a moment to admire your huge room. Well, it’s more of a big library/study/bedroom/lab/workshop for all your projects. Because you’ve always been stuck in the house, Dad took the liberty to make sure you had access to ALL types of knowledge and entertainment, just so you don’t get bored.
>The dome is had the shape of an observatory, and had a giant telescope to match with it. The telescope didn’t move, but there’s a reason for that. As for the walls, they’re filled with just tons of stuff! Books, scrolls, trinkets, potions, movies, ingredients, and some of your past or unfinished projects.
>There were two levels to the observatory. The upper level had a balcony that hung out from the side of the wall, which is your living space. It had your bed, night stand, and a little window of the chaos void that you can open and close whenever you wanted to.
>It also housed a giant flatscreen TV, a mini-pool, a mini-fridge full of beverages and snacks, bean bag chairs, a toy box, and three different work benches. One bench is for normal homework and stuff, the other is a workbench when you tinkered with inventions and what-not, and the third is for magical potions or enchantments.
>You dabble in all kinds of different stuff. From magic to models of pegasi or air-planes. And of course… Boring old school stuff that your dad made you do, eugh… It’s not that you didn’t like doing math and essays and all that crud, but it’s just so booooooring…
>You like it when you get hooves on! The workbench and enchantment table are your two favorite spots for wasting away time to practice what you learned. Or, you could watch a movie on the TV, in which you had the choice of turning your entire balcony into a home theater. Sometimes your dad would join you on rare occasions and watch some epic movies about adventures and interesting universes!

>Discord said the TV was a human invention, so you can only watch human movies on it since ponies are too ‘primitive to create such marvelous technology like films’, or that’s the words Dad used… Don’t know what it means, and you don’t care, because it’s your day off from schoolwork sooooo…
>You rush down the stairs to the lower level of the observatory. The lower level had a comfy carpeted floor and all across the walls are shelves filled with stuff you could explore! You’ve been doing this same stuff for most of your little life, and there’s still so much to uncover!
>Every shelf was organized into different sections so you could find things easily. Magical tomes, scrolls, and books filled with knowledge of spells and their history are in the Equestrian Magic section. You walk over to that section and pick out a random book. Oooph… This one’s heavy...
>Originally, most of the old books were journals written by ancient wizards, but your dad spiced them up a bit so they didn’t look like old, dusty, moldy books. This one had an elegant cyan spine and a marble covering.
“Breaking the Barrier of Ancient Magic: By Starswirl the Bearded…”
>Weird, you have a ton of books by this one wizard or whatever. Guess he’s the only unicorn pony who’s discovered a lot of advanced spells? Oh, here’s another one! You put back the first heavy book and take out the second one. This one is lighter, but it’s more of a journal than anything.
“A Guide to Common Magical Tricks: By Cluster Star…”
>Hmmm. These seem really interesting to try. You’re pretty good at regular magic, but not AMAZING. But you’re not in the mood to practice magic in your home arena. Maybe another time!
>You put the book back and skim past the other shelves. Potions, tonics, and all their appropriate ingredients are hung in the Alchemy section. You pick up a random vial of brown liquid from the shelf.

>Ooooooh… You remember what this potion did… Aww jeez, this was the potion that turned you into a chair. That was one of the most uncomfortable moments of your life, and it didn’t help that Dad just sat on your for two hours straight!
>You daydream about Discord just lying on top of you, cackling and shifting around to annoyingly torture you for two long hours. With disgust, you put the vial back onto the shelf and shudder.
“Never again… Eugh.”
>And there’s the Science and Mechanics section, where you work on stuff that’s mostly chemical and physical rather than magical. That stuff was fun sometimes, not as fun as magic, but still neat and interesting.
>There are all sorts of strange chemicals and mechanical instruments… Oh! Like this chaos powered model car you made! You pick up the metal four wheeled car with a little chimney shooting out different colors of smoke.
>It took some time because the instructions were a bit tough to understand, but you learned pretty quick. Also your dad helped you make the car chaos powered, so it never run out of energy here.
>You place the car back on the shelf and move on the next section. Here’s your tippy top favorite section! The Equestrian History section! Oooooh how you love just exploring that section for sure!
>There are tons of different history books on Equestria. Lore of ancient monsters and beings that roam the land. Stories of heroes, wizards, evil sorcerers, and dark spirits. Dad brought souvenirs home from his trips to Equestria and let you have them up on the shelf.
>Like this green scale! Discord said that this was the scale of an ancient Wyvern that he stumbled upon during one of his visits. He said it enchants the user with resistance to poisons and diseases. Pretty powerful stuff.

>Putting the scale back, you start to ponder a bit. Huh, wonder why Dad never let you learn about human history... He always mentions them as these advanced beings that knew how to do things without magic. They made movies and TVs and most of the science stuff that you tinker with.
>Maybe one day, you could visit your old home, and see all the neat stuff they have! Maybe check out if they’re okay from that Teddy Attack that you… Accidentally caused… You think you’ve asked him to take you there, but he said just forget about that old place.
>You feel the temperature in your body rise and you stomp your hoof.
“He doesn’t even take me to where I was first born! I bet humans have chaos powers, too! So they could probably help me with my powers!
>”That is because-” You flinch and your ears perk up. You turn around instantly towards the voice.
“Discord!”

>You turn around and charge towards Dad’s voice with your eyes streaming with tears.
“Dad Dad Dad! I thought I lost you- WHOA!”
>You crash right into one of your shelves, causing a vial to fall off and break onto your head.
“Ow! Eugh, what’s this brown stuff… Oh no…”
>Your arms started to stretch and turn dark brown. Little by little did your fur bend into wood and chair arms. Before you could panic, the effects of the potion wear off. You hear Discord chuckle.
>”I’m glad you’re happy to see me.” You feel your face and fur, making sure no part of your body is a chair. Eyes… Check! Legs? Check. Head… Wait a minute… Nope! It’s fine! You spring back up and look towards what seems like a hologram of your dad.
“Dad? Where are you?”
>The image came out of the observatory deck in the middle of the lower level of your room. It was coming out of the giant telescope stationed at the center of the deck. You hurry over and examine the hologram.
>The hologram of Discord seemed to be him back on his throne in Discordville. But instead of sitting on the throne he’s pacing around, wearing glasses, and holding a calculator.
>Okay… So Dad is alright and you’re NOT in trouble. Phew! That’s awesome! “This doesn’t add up! See?” Discord holds the calculator up for you to see. On it is a tiny snake eating little black squares.
“What are you talking about? Are you coming home?”
>Discord goes back to punching numbers into the calculator and fixes his glasses. After a brief moment, he throws the calculator away along with the glasses.
>”Ack! This is pointless… Sorry, Anon. Just a bit preoccupied with my plans. Just checking in on home base.” You salute and stand proud.
“Everything is A-Okay over here, Dad!”

>”Mhm…” Dad rubs his chin and thinks for a moment. “Did you do your daily chores?” Oh… Crud…
“Ehrm… I was going to do them…?”
>Discord just smirks and gives you a devious expression. Slowly, he takes out a giant red button from behind his back. “Or do I have to call… The Maid…?” NO NO! NOT THE MAID!
“I MEAN- Yeah! I was just about to do them! Aheheheh…”
>Oh gosh please not the maid. You hated the maid clone! So… Much… Dust… Discord chuckles and shoves the button away into his ear.
“Why do I even have to clean my room? Isn’t that the opposite of chaos?”
>Discord slowly shakes his head and makes a clicking sound with his tongue. “You know I like messes and disorder, but in order to cause disorder, there MUST be order, in order to cause disorder.” WHAT?!
“What the hay? What does that even mean?!”
>You groan in frustration and punch the hologram, only for your hoof to phase through it. Discord teleports to his throne and lies down on it with a cocky grin. “You heard me, young man… Oh, and while you’re at it, stain the living room windows and dirty the dishes, pretty please?” He folds his hands together and makes his eyes all big and sparkly.
“Fiiiiineee… Anything to get rid of the maid…”
>”That’s my boy! Now, you’re wondering why I was late for dinner. Well you see, I’m having some…” He rotates his paw in a circle.”...Slight trouble with my plans.” Discord gets up and walks to the side as a- GIANT LIGHTNING BOLT ZAPS HIS THRONE!
>The entire screen shakes as a beam of lightning engulfs the entire throne, turning it into dust.

“DAD! WHAT WAS THAT?”
>Your father yawns and looks to the side, gasping once he notices that his throne is gone. “WHAT?! Who dares destroy my majestic throne? I’ll have you know I got that imported from Saddle Arabia-”
>”It seems all our attempts to persuade this fool have proved nothing but pointless, Sister.” That sounded like a chick. Who is that?
>”I do agree with you, Luna. He has been… Quite incompetent with our warnings. But we’ll give him another chance.” And there’s another voice! Another girl, too!
>”Has thou been devouring too much cake, Celestia? Surely the sugar has gotten to thy head! Discord has fled us for far too long, and tormented our subjects enough!”
>”We’ll see…”
>Discord moves non-chalantly to the side and dodges a large spear that nearly skins him.
>”See! Those sugary goods have impaired thy aim!”
>”As if that has anything to do with it! You try and hit a creature who can predict your movements.” The two continue to bicker for a moment.
“Dad?! Tell me what’s going on!”
>”Oh, nothing, Anon. Just some of the ponies trying to rebel…”A white beam shines from the sky and shakes the earth, this time causing the hologram image to topple over. The screen flashes, making you cover your eyes.
“AHH! It’s so bright!”
>”Hah! You say I have bad aim, Luna, yet you cannot even hit him with your moonlight beam.” The mare chuckles as the other one groans. “Halt thy insults, Sister. We have business to attend to…”
>Once you could open your eyes again, you try to get a good look of what’s happening. Whoa… Who are those ponies? They were bigger than anypony you’ve ever seen! There are two of them! And they have wings AND horns… ARE THEY ALICORNS?

>One is creamy white and had a flowing mane. Her mane had the glow and warmth of a small sun, and it had three different colors to it. Light blue, green, purple and pink. What’s so cool is that her mane is actually MOVING, like ocean waves or something!
>She had this fancy gold armor chestplate on her body, and fancy gold platelegs on each of her forelegs. Her cutie mark is this image of a beautiful sun. And to top it off, she had this golden crown that made her look like a majestic queen ready to charge her army into battle!
>This white alicorn is using her magic to levitate this very long spear almost as long as her body, that had the symbol of the sun at the hilt.
>Right next to her is ANOTHER alicorn, but this one is smaller. She’s dark blue and her mane is the same style, but instead it looked like you took the night sky and painted it into her mane. She also had battle armor on, but it’s white-ish blue instead of gold.
>Her set looked more menacing than her partner’s. She had a helmet that covered most of her face rather than a crown. By her side is a white straight sword that glowed like the night stars. The hilt of a crescent moon and had a blade that’s so sharp, it could cut thin air into pieces.
>She had a black splatter paint as her cutie mark with a crescent moon on it that matched the moon on her sword.
>The white one began to speak with a motherly voice. She spoke with authority and volume, yet set this feeling of respect and calmness.
>“Discord! We demand you stop this at once! Our fellow ponies do not like your tyrannical reign! We have warned you of the consequences-” Discord interrupts and speaks over her. He teleports behind her and wraps his neck around hers.

>”Celly! How delightful it is to see you! How long has it been since we’ve seen each other? A century? Two?” Discord taps his chin. “ Seems I lost count! My my, you haven’t aged ONE bit! Watching those beauty guides I sent you for your birthday?”
>This time, Discord is interrupted by the blue alicorn. Unlike her sister, she spoke powerfully and with a more threatening tone, causing Discord to teleport back a couple of feet.
>“SILENCE THYSELF, JESTER! We will not tolerate more of your insolent tricks! My sister and I hath given thee mercy, and rejected our semblance of peace.”
>You inch closer to the holographic screen. Can they see or hear you? Better be careful just in case, but what in the hay has your dad gotten into now?
>Discord teleports next to the blue alicorn and leans against her shoulder with his elbow. “Oh settle down, Luna! I know you’re not one for fun and games. Such a sour puss like your sister… Then again, I, too, would be in a constant bad mood if I were just the shadow of my own sibling.”
>Luna growls at Discord and almost swings her sword, but her sister, Celestia, stops her.. “Discord, you have taken over the land that rightfully belongs to my ponies. You have taken the harmony and order of this land, twisting it for your own entertainment. You have ONE last chance before to surrender before we use force once more!”
>You hear something explode like a firecracker, and the two mares pass by in a blur and fly off the screen. They scream as they soar off into the distance and crash into the nearby woods. Dad’s sides explode as he falls over laughing.

>“AHAHAH! Guess they didn’t see that one coming! That is too rich...” He wipes a tear off his cheek and walks over to you. The screen shuffles and stands up straight for you to fully see Discord. He had singe marks on his fur, and his mane was all over the place.
>Dad takes out a mirror and admires himself, making several poses. “I am REALLY loving this make-over… Oh! Anon! You’re still there? Pfff, don’t worry about those one trip ponies.” He nudges the screen and laughs at his own pun. You give him a deadpan expression as he snaps his talons, causing the mirror to disappear.
“Who are those ponies? What are they talking about ‘you taking their land’ or something like that?”
>”Don’t worry! They’re just some party poopers trying to ruin the fun. Isn’t that absurd? Who DOESN’T like fun? Honestly, that in itself is just baffling.” You stomp your hooves and glare into your father’s eyes.
“You’re not telling me the truth! What’s going on?!”
>”Dawww… You’re so adorable when you get angry. Scrunching up your eyebrows like that and giving me an oooooh so scary mean look! I’m sooo terrified!” He fakes being scared by shifting back and shaking his hands.
>Why does your dad have to be so difficult in the most serious times?
“DAD! Stop being a jerk and tell me what’s going on!”
>Discord sighs, turns around, and folds his arms behind his back. “Well, let’s just say those ponies are an obstacle I have to overcome for my plan to work. I’ll be fine, alright?” You raise your eyebrow suspiciously.
“You’ll be back for bedtime?”
>Your dad turns around, puts his paw over his chest, and nods. “I swear. It’s delaying my courses of action by only a smidge, but once it is handled, everything should be as smooth as Hay Sandwich Ice Cream… Great concoction by the way, made a good snack while waiting for two Alicorn Princesses to arrive and dethrone you.”

>Hey! He actually knew about your Hay Sandwich-WHAT?!
“Alicorn PRINCESSES?”
>......................
>You fall on your butt onto the ground and extend out your hooves.
“C’MON! Everything cool happens in Equestria! Can I atleast watch?
>”Watch me in my most victorious battle? One that will surely go down in history books?”
“Wait… You’re FIGHTING them?”
>But your dad ignores your question, who is now looking in some weird box next to the pile of dust where his throne was. He pulls out a giant rubber chicken, setting it on the ground.
>“...This should do nicely. Now, we wait…” He steps towards the camera. “As much as I’d like you cheer me on during my victory, it’s too dangerous.”
“Pleeeeease? Can’t you just make a bubble shield for me to stay in or something?”
>”I meant that YOU’D make it more dangerous… I had enough trouble with that mountain minotaur thing… Still have rocks in my teeth.” Dad picks at his teeth and pulls out a couple of pebbles from them.
>It’s too dangerous because… You’d put him in danger of losing…?
“But… I just want to see you win…”
>”Don’t worry, Anon! I’ll record it and we can watch it together during movie nights! Oh ho! Just watching Celestia and Luna’s butts being whooped on repeat! Priceless!”
>You turn around and stare at the ground. Even during your Dad’s biggest moment, he couldn’t let you see it because… He’s afraid you’d screw it all up again.
“It’s okay, Dad… I’ll get out of your mane…”
>Discord takes notice of your sudden attitude change and crosses through the hologram into your room. He picks you up by surprise, causing you to yelp. He faces you towards him so you can see face to face. “Anon… Look at me.”
“Nuh uh…”

>You sniffle and look away, trying hard not to cry. Dad rolls his eyes and turns your head towards you, but you’re still pouting and looking down. “Where’s that Anon I love and care for? The one who never gives up and is always happy, hmmm?”
“He’s not here right now…”
>Your dad snaps his talons, conjuring up a telephone. He puts it right next to his ear and speaks. “Then can I leave a message for Anonymous?” You try your hardest not to giggle, but you slip and smile a teeny tiny bit.
>”Well! I’m calling to tell my son that he’s the most wonderful son a draconequus can ask for! He’s always happy, fun, and chock full of chaotic ideas! Anon might not have full grip of his powers, but one day, he’ll be a master of chaos! No doubt about it!.”
>You can’t help laughing and push the phone away.
“Stop it! I get it!”
>”Oh? So Anon IS here, after all? Feeling better?” You nod. Discord fidgets a bit, but brings you into a quick warm hug. You return the hug and wrap your forelegs around his super long neck.
>“I care about you, Anon… It hurts me all the time seeing you sad when I know you’re usually happy, even if you feel like I imprison you at home. One day, I promise, you’ll be able to adventure into Equestria and see what it has in store…” You both stop hugging and share a heartwarming moment together. “But not until I finish remodeling it, of course!”
“Yeah yeah, I know…”
>Dad glances back at the hologram and drops you onto the ground. “Oh dear…” Good thing you fell straight on your butt.
“What’s wrong, Dad?”
>You get up and check out what’s going on. In the hologram, you see the two alicorns from before… But they’re now flying around, searching around Discordville frantically. OH JEEZ! Celestia is now on fire, burning brighter than anything you’ve ever seen before! And the Luna’s eyes are glowing white and she had this strange moonlight aura around her.

>Celestia zooms in the air like a comet and shouts. ”DISCORD! That is the last straw! You cross the line with such a dirty trick!” Luna lands onto the ground, causing a shockwave to crack the checkered floor. “THOU ART A SICK FOOL! I SHALL HAVE THE PLEASURE IN BEATING THEE TO A PULP!”
>Discord dusts himself off and snaps his talons. He was now wearing a bullfighting outfit with a red cloth hanging around his talon arm. “It seems my dates have arrived. Can’t keep ladies waiting! They can get oh so very impatient…”
“Just don’t beat them too hard, okay? They look pretty tough, but you’re the Spirit of Chaos! Nothing can ever beat you!”
>”That is correct. Now adios, mijo!” He hops into the hologram and readies his red cloth in front of the alicorn sisters. “TORRO! TORRO!” The hologram shuts off, but before it does, you see a blur of dark blue and white fire charge into Discord.
“See you soon, Dad. Show them who’s boss!”
>You pump your fist into the air and cheer. The celebration is short lived until you realize...
“Hmmm… Well, uh, now what do I do?”
>You whistle and look around. Awww man. Dad wanted you to do those chores… Maaaaybe you could do your chores later. For now… You walk over to the Equestrian history shelf and use your chaos magic to swap your horn for a set of wings.
>Chores can wait! You had some ‘reading’ to finish on an awesome kingdom in Equestria! You push off the ground, sending a tiny shockwave of air as you ascend into the air.
>C’mon, you swear that it was around here somewhere… Aha! You see a blue and purple book with the spine titled, ‘The Crystal Empire: A Crystal Clear History’. It had gold hinges and crystal gems embroidered around the cover and back.

>You swiftly grab the book and hold it under your foreleg, then dive bomb towards the ground. The rush of air begins pushing your cheeks and face back. Right before you land, you extend out your wings and let the air resistance slow you down.
>You land on the ground, having to run for a bit to lower the initial momentum before coming to a complete stop. You hold out the book and admire its cover.
“Here we go! A book on Crystal Empire history! And it’s all for me.”
>Now for the super cool part. You carry the book over towards the giant telescope, and look through the lens. Through the lens, you can see a menu of things you can with the lower level of your room. You turn a knob and unlock the telescope, letting it rotate a tiny bit.
>Let’s see… Scan artifacts… Search library… Set up Magic Arena… AHAH! You aim the telescope towards ‘Set Up Lesson’ and click a button on the side. A little compartment opens up on the side of the telescope, and you slide the book in.
>The compartment closes, and you look back into the lens. The menu shifts and changes into the image of a giant kingdom.
>”Oh ANONYMOUUUUUS!” No… NO. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! You glance towards the sound of the high pitch version of Discord’s voice. OH JEE WHY?!
>There ‘it’ is. The clone version of Discord meant to ‘clean’ and make sure you do your chores while he was gone. He had a maid outfit that just made him look like a creep and sent goosebumps across your fur.
“OH JEEZ NOT THE MAID!”
>”Maid Discord at your service!” You quickly hop through the lens before Maid Discord can see you. The telescope transports you into a large, beautiful kingdom. The marvelous and wondrous Crystal Empire.