Defenders of the Faith03

[21:09]	<[GM]Mary>	Last time, on Defenders of the Faith!
[21:13]	<[GM]Mary>	Alcohol, steel-teethed men, and thorough tailoring evaluations.
[21:14]	<[GM]Mary>	We return to our drunken, unconscious and molested heroes as they return to the House of God.
[21:16]	<[GM]Mary>	It's late evening in Sentinel. The Sun has long since retired, and the night comes down once again.
[21:17]	* Judas	carries Catherine a little awkwardly back to church. Damn Indian beer gullies.
[21:19]	* [Zem]Catherine	is still knocked out, but doesn't seem to be vomiting or anything.
[21:22]	<[GM]Mary>	Justice: Stone uses you for support about halfway back, but fades out. Enjoy your drooling albino.
[21:23]	<Judas>	haaah...
[21:24]	* Judas	sighs as he hauls Catherine around like a new wife, albeit a mostly unconscious one.
[21:25]	<Judas>	What took you so long in there, anyway? It took like ten minutes just to get you an old shirt.
[21:26]	* [Rut]Justice	, having elected to use a fireman's carry for some reason, struggles to keep up.
[21:26]	<[Rut]Justice>	That's (heave) because (heave) I was...
[21:28]	* [Rut]Justice	stumbles before sticking a faceplant with Stone on her back.
[21:33]	* Judas	sighs again, leaving her behind.
[21:33]	<Judas>	I hope the others didn't do anything weird while we were gone...
[21:36]	* Judas	reaches the church, and sort of fishes the door open with a turn of the handle and a fancy foot jig.
[21:37]	* [Tet]Agatha	sits up with a start and a snort at the sound.
[21:37]	* [Rut]Justice	scrambles to her feet, coughing up a grain of dirt or two as she closes the distance with Judas.
[21:38]	<[Tet]Agatha>	No, Amelia, I wasn't...! Oh. Huh?
[21:38]	<[Tet]Agatha>	...where am I?
[21:39]	<[GM]Mary>	Agatha: You awaken to discover you're naked. Also, you're covered in red stains that may be blood or lipstick. They're certainly lip-shaped, in any case.
[21:40]	* Judas	is slow to realize Agatha and continues into the church.
[21:42]	<[Tet]Agatha>	WHAT THE MAD BLOODY HELL IS GOING ON HERE!?
[21:42]	* [Tet]Agatha	is suddenly quite animated, leaping to her feet and wiping frantically at the marks on her body.
[21:44]	* Judas	, in sudden surprise, bucks Catherine up in the air about a foot but manages to catch her upon descent.
[21:45]	* [Rut]Justice	bursts through the door in response to the commotion! Or tries to. There is a loud thump from the door behind Judas.
[21:45]	* [Zem]Catherine	wakes up when thrown. "Uh? Father Callahan?"
[21:47]	<Judas>	Uhhhh- Catherine. Agatha? Ow! Justice...
[21:48]	* Judas	sets Catherine down, picks Justice up, and uh, isn't sure how to respond to the nude girl in the building.
[21:50]	<[GM]Mary>	Agatha: as you try to wipe the marks away, they suddenly collect onto your stomach. A red pair(set?) of lips, grinning from hip to hip, flashing teeth like piano keys... It laughs at you.
[21:50]	* [Zem]Catherine	sits up, and looks at Agatha. "Does... does the alcohol make you see things? Because it looks like she's naked."
[21:51]	<Judas>	mmmmNo, I think she's naked. Perhaps one of you girls should go and find out why...
[21:51]	<[Zem]Catherine>	"Okay. Why are you naked?:
[21:52]	* [Tet]Agatha	blinks at the mouth on her stomach, screams, and faints, oblivious to the end of her audience.
[21:52]	<[Zem]Catherine>	"That thing on her stomach looks demonic. Maybe that's why she's naked?"
[21:53]	* [Zem]Catherine	gets up, shaking her head to clear it.
[21:53]	<[Rut]Justice>	Uu... what happened?
[21:53]	* Judas	is not impressed by the increasingly unusual and annoying events.
[21:53]	* [Rut]Justice	has a sizable bump on her head.
[21:53]	<Judas>	Uh... You know what? I think I'll leave this up to you two.
[21:54]	<[Rut]Justice>	Sure thing, boss~
[21:54]	* Judas	grabs Stone and makes a detour to the back of the church.
[21:54]	<[Rut]Justice>	... So, what was left up to us again?
[21:55]	<[Zem]Catherine>	"There's a demon on her stomach, it looks like." She pokes it with a metal pipe.
[21:55]	* [Rut]Justice	is looking around.
[21:55]	<[Rut]Justice>	A demon? Wher-- Why is she naked?!
[21:56]	<[GM]Mary>	The tattoo makes a tack-tack sound as you poke its teeth. The lips don't seem to be amused.
[21:56]	<[Zem]Catherine>	"Because of the demon, obviously." She stands up taller, and pulls out a cross. "I command you, in the name of the Father, and of the Holy Spirit, and of the... the Son, to leave this woman!"
[21:57]	<[GM]Mary>	"mmmmmmmm-No! heehee~"
[21:57]	<[GM]Mary>	The lips speak.
[21:58]	* [Rut]Justice	furrows her brow.
[21:59]	<[Rut]Justice>	Tough guy, huh? Stand back.
[21:59]	* [Rut]Justice	pulls a wooden sword from her belt.
[22:00]	<[GM]Mary>	The lips stick its two-dimensional tongue out at Justice.
[22:00]	<[Zem]Catherine>	"Why do you persist in remaining on her?"
[22:00]	<[Zem]Catherine>	"When you know that we can banish you?"
[22:02]	<[Rut]Justice>	Hmph. I'll cut that big mouth right off with Zankatsuken!
[22:02]	<[GM]Mary>	"Hey, that's no fair! She got stuck on me. I just live here~"
[22:04]	<[Zem]Catherine>	"No, I have a better way." She starts glowing dark red.
[22:06]	<[GM]Mary>	"mmm!"
[22:07]	<[GM]Mary>	The lips purses itself and retreats to Agatha's bottom.
[22:07]	<[Zem]Catherine>	"Justice, please pick Agatha up."
[22:07]	<[Rut]Justice>	I-it crawled...
[22:08]	* [Rut]Justice	carefully lifts Agatha's unconscious form.
[22:08]	* [PB]Avn	silently walked out from behind the church. She blinked, and looked away quickly.
[22:09]	<[PB]Avn>	I-Indecent, be purged.
[22:10]	* [PB]Avn	flicked a series of MAGICAL paperdolls at Agatha.
[22:11]	<[GM]Mary>	The moment Justice picks Agatha up, a tongue shoots out and grabs Justice around the neck.
[22:13]	<[Zem]Catherine>	"Foul demon! I purge you!" The malevolent crimson light envelops the pipe as she swings for the tongue.
[22:14]	* [Rut]Justice	chokes.
[22:16]	* [Zem]Catherine	swings it through the tongue, cutting Justice free.
[22:18]	* [PB]Avn	would've succeeded. That is, if the tongue-thing didn't just leaped onto Justice moments before the paperdolls hit. Now, they just fall slowly to the floor once they found their mark on Agatha.
[22:18]	<[GM]Mary>	The tongue splits, disappearing on Agatha's side and remaining on Justice's. The lips make a fuss as it roams around on Justice's body.
[22:19]	* [PB]Avn	somewhat annoyed at the bad timing and the waste of her charms, Avn threw some more at Agatha.
[22:19]	* [Tet]Agatha	squirms around and mumbles something about being ticklish.
[22:21]	* [Zem]Catherine	reaches with a darklit hand for the creature on Justice's body.
[22:22]	<[GM]Mary>	Justice: The creature hides between your breasts, mumbling something the mean new nuns.
[22:23]	<[Zem]Catherine>	"Justice, can you grab it?"
[22:23]	* [Rut]Justice	grunts in frustration.
[22:23]	<[Rut]Justice>	When I get my hands on it that's not all I'll do...
[22:24]	* [Rut]Justice	begins sifting through her shirt, grasping for the thing.
[22:25]	* [Zem]Catherine	instead carries Agatha away so she can't be reinhabited.
[22:26]	<[Rut]Justice>	Good thing I didn't redo my bindings...
[22:27]	<[GM]Mary>	Justice: it's sort of like trying to grab a freckle. You can feel it move every now and then, but it doesn't really get "caught". Eventually it gets tired and moves to your hand, spelling out the word "STOP!"
[22:29]	<[Rut]Justice>	Like hell! Get off so I can hit you!
[22:31]	<[GM]Mary>	The red blurb comes together, then rearranges: "Fine. I'm going to spend the rest of your life as a red stain between your legs and make fart noises whenever someone walks by."
[22:32]	<[Rut]Justice>	Wh-what?!
[22:34]	* [Zem]Catherine	grabs for the blurb with a red magical hand.
[22:40]	<[GM]Mary>	The blurb grabs Catherine with a red, magical... well, it's just red and magical.
[22:41]	* [Zem]Catherine	backs off from the others so it can't get back to them.
[22:47]	<[Tet]Agatha>	oooogh...why am I naked?
[22:48]	* [Tet]Agatha	comes around and sits up where Catherine left her, rubbing her head and blinking in bleary confusion.
[22:49]	<[Zem]Catherine>	"I need a bottle."
[22:49]	<[Zem]Catherine>	"Empty, preferably."
[22:51]	<[Tet]Agatha>	Bottle? Uh, hang on.
[22:53]	* [Tet]Agatha	wanders hazily to the altar and pokes around behind it, coming up with a quarter-full bottle of communion wine.
[22:53]	<[Tet]Agatha>	This do?
[22:56]	<[Zem]Catherine>	"I think so. It's holy, it should hold it in." She opens the cork and tries to magically force the thing into the bottle.
[23:00]	<[GM]Mary>	The redness oozes from Catherine's hand into the bottle. After a moment, it spells, "New nuns, go home!"
[23:03]	* [Rut]Justice	puts her hands on her hips.
[23:04]	<[Rut]Justice>	No, you! I live too far away.
[23:04]	<[Tet]Agatha>	So, could somebody answer my question, now? Or at least point me towards my clothes?
[23:04]	* [Rut]Justice	is busy making faces at the bottle.
[23:05]	<[GM]Mary>	It spells, "I AM at home". Then enters a face-making contest with Justice.
[23:10]	* [Zem]Catherine	corks the bottle.
[23:11]	<[Rut]Justice>	-Now- you are. Heheheh...
[23:12]	<[Zem]Catherine>	"Now we need to put this someplace where no one will drink it."
[23:12]	* [Rut]Justice	gives Catherine a rather obnoxious thumbs up.
[23:12]	<[Rut]Justice>	I can do it!
[23:18]	* Judas	blunders back in, then slaps a hand over his eyes when he notices Agatha again.
[23:18]	<Judas>	Hey, ladies, why are one of you still naked?
[23:19]	<[Tet]Agatha>	I've been trying to get an answer to th--
[23:19]	<[Rut]Justice>	Hey, good news, Mister Jack!
[23:20]	* [Rut]Justice	strikes a heroic pose, one arm poised towards the sky.
[23:20]	<[Rut]Justice>	The evil has been exorcised!
[23:20]	* [Tet]Agatha	runs around to put the altar between herself and the male priest. She also throws a chalice at him for good measure.
[23:21]	<[Tet]Agatha>	What are you doing!? Get out of here!
[23:21]	<Judas>	...Uh. Good job. -Hey! dammit!
[23:21]	* Judas	is suddenly hit by a chalice
[23:21]	<[Tet]Agatha>	Lech!
[23:23]	<[Zem]Catherine>	"Stop it! It's not his fault you're naked! It was the demon thingie's!"
[23:23]	* Judas	growls about something then doubles back, shutting the door behind him in embarrassment.
[23:26]	<[Tet]Agatha>	I'm not blaming him for that, but... well, it's improper!
[23:31]	<[GM]Mary>	Agatha: your clothes remain neatly folded by where you were sitting when you fell asleep.
[23:32]	* [Tet]Agatha	finds them there and starts putting them back on again, grumbling.
[23:33]	* [Rut]Justice	Justice's lightbulb goes on. Or something.
[23:35]	<[Rut]Justice>	Huh... those are pretty tidy.
[23:35]	<[Tet]Agatha>	What are?
[23:36]	<[Rut]Justice>	Your clothes. Did you fold them? Demons don't fold clothes, you know.
[23:36]	<[Tet]Agatha>	I didn't do anything with them, I was asleep the entire time.
[23:37]	<[Tet]Agatha>	Are you suggesting something?
[23:39]	<[Rut]Justice>	Nnnnoooo...
[23:39]	* [Rut]Justice	narrows her eyes and leans forward incredulously.
[23:39]	<[Rut]Justice>	... You sure?
[23:40]	* Judas	leans against the door, waiting for someone to call "clear!" or something. This has to be the most ridiculous church on the face of the Earth, but at least it's not as boring as the ones from when he was a kid. That kinda goes in the 'win' column, right?
[23:40]	<[Tet]Agatha>	Honestly, I'm not sure about much right now. Except that I've had a long, bad day and I'm worn out.
[23:41]	* [Tet]Agatha	decides she is sufficiently covered and walks across the chapel to let Judas back in.
[23:41]	<[Tet]Agatha>	Sorry about the chalice earlier. Which way is bed?
[23:42]	* Judas	nearly stumbles over her, but manages to catch himself.
[23:42]	* [Rut]Justice	shrugs and scratches her head.
[23:43]	<[Zem]Catherine>	"So now that we've defeated this thing, what do we do now? I assume there's a normal routine."
[23:43]	<Judas>	It's uh... Right there. First door down the hall.
[23:44]	<[Tet]Agatha>	Thanks, hon.
[23:44]	<[Rut]Justice>	Well, as long as you're alright... If anything tries to eat you or possess you or spirit you away, come find me and I'll beat them up, okay?
[23:45]	* [Tet]Agatha	carries the rest of her clothes and luggage into the bedroom, scratching behind one ear as she vanishes from sight.
[23:54]	* Judas	sighs, and sits down by himself.
[00:15]	<[GM]Mary>	Judas spends the rest of the night cleaning up, not very satisfied with his career inheritance. The other Defenders go to bed, and he sees to it that his proprietary inheritance is carefully cared for.
[00:16]	* Judas	finds that trap door again, and wonders what Zvalinka must've been up to all this time. He descends down.
[00:24]	* [Atai]Zvalinka	has set up a table of sorts by one wall and is apparently drawing a careful map of the basement. However, there are parts on the map that are definitely not in the basement.
[00:24]	* [Atai]Zvalinka	has two or three candles nearby to provide illumination.
[00:25]	<Judas>	Hey.
[00:25]	* Judas	calls, and approaches quietly.
[00:28]	* [Atai]Zvalinka	looks up, and sets her pencil down.
[00:28]	<[Atai]Zvalinka>	Hello, Father.
[00:30]	* Judas	sighs, and tries to enjoy a model 1873 as best he can in the dim light.
[00:30]	<Judas>	Is it always like this...
[00:38]	<[Atai]Zvalinka>	Like what?
[00:39]	<Judas>	Crazy, I guess. Ever since I stepped off that coach, it's been nothing but nuts.
[00:43]	* [Atai]Zvalinka	smiles slightly, and brushes her hair back, a little.
[00:43]	<[Atai]Zvalinka>	The Lord has a plan for everyone, Father. Sometimes we have to work to find the sense in it.
[00:47]	<Judas>	This is gonna take a lot of work...
[00:50]	<Judas>	What're you doing down here, anyway?
[00:50]	* Judas	puts the rifle away and steps closer to Zvalinka, looking over her.
[00:50]	<[Atai]Zvalinka>	Drawing prospective plans.
[00:51]	<Judas>	"Prospective plans"?
[00:53]	<[Atai]Zvalinka>	If we are to make this into anything like a functioning outpost, we shall need certain... facilities. A few more rooms, at least. They cannot be above ground, either. This is especially important in my line of work for the Church.
[00:54]	<Judas>	...uuuh-huh. Well, I don't care what you do down here, just don't mess with the firearms and weapons.
[00:55]	<Judas>	It's an impressive collection... I didn't know my dad kept all this stuff.
[00:55]	<[Atai]Zvalinka>	...One must always be ready to defend against the terrors that stalk humanity.
[00:58]	* Judas	resumes browsing around, checking a rifle or revolver, occasionally something medieval.
[00:58]	<Judas>	You know, most of these are made for killing people, not... demons, or whatever.
[01:00]	* [Atai]Zvalinka	sounds slightly irritated as she replies:
[01:00]	<[Atai]Zvalinka>	...Yes. I'm all too aware of that, Father.
[01:03]	<[Atai]Zvalinka>	That is something I am hoping to correct.
[01:24]	<Judas>	Why? Are there a lot of demons in Kansas?
[01:29]	<[Atai]Zvalinka>	There are demons everywhere, Father.
[01:30]	<[Atai]Zvalinka>	Like criminals, they prefer lawless lands... Such places are also generally where the Church's presence is not as strong.
[01:33]	* Judas	thinks back to the drunken nuns, the stripped nun, and the rude nun... yeah, not a bad place for demons to hang out.
[01:35]	<Judas>	Sounds like fun, but I think we have some other problems to worry about...
[01:36]	* [Atai]Zvalinka	looks back up at him.
[01:36]	<[Atai]Zvalinka>	What would those be, Father?
[01:38]	<Judas>	Well, first off, we have no food. Second, we have no money.
[01:39]	* [Atai]Zvalinka	looks at him for several moments.
[01:40]	<[Atai]Zvalinka>	...Oh, right. You.. need those. We need those. Yes. Yes, that is something of a problem.
[01:40]	* [Atai]Zvalinka	nods slowly.
[01:40]	<Judas>	Turns out I have a lot of property to look at to... and yeah, the food thing is gonna be a problem.
[01:44]	<[Atai]Zvalinka>	...A lot of property?
[01:44]	<[Atai]Zvalinka>	As in real estate, or possessions?
[01:45]	<Judas>	Well, obviously, there's all this ordinance. About the only thing I'm thrilled about, honestly.
[01:47]	<Judas>	There's also the church itself, a couple acres of land facing the river, and this little stable a little ways down the hill. The horses don't look that bad, actually. I wonder who's been taking care of them.
[01:49]	* Judas	stops a moment.
[01:49]	<Judas>	There was something else...
[01:58]	<[Atai]Zvalinka>	...Yes?
[01:59]	* Judas	scratches his head.
[01:59]	<Judas>	I forgot. I guess I'll talk to the, uh, "mayor" again sometime later.
[02:05]	* Judas	yawns.
[02:06]	<Judas>	mm... I check the rest of this out tomorrow. You should probably go to bed, I'll definitely need a sensible person in the morning.
[02:09]	* [Atai]Zvalinka	looks back at her blueprints, sighs, and nods.
[02:09]	<[Atai]Zvalinka>	Not an unwise decision. Very well, Father. I shall see you on the morrow.
[02:09]	<Judas>	Good night...
[02:09]	<[Atai]Zvalinka>	And to you as well.
[02:10]	<[GM]Mary>	Day Zero end.
[02:11]	* [Atai]Zvalinka	rolls up her drawings, and blows out the candles before leaving.