Little Animals

Even you are not without sentiment.

It is your family home. As they have told you time and again, you would be welcome in it. Yet, you see fit to venture there under the cover a depthless night. Erriyt catches no sunlight to reflect and the snow sits dull without even moonlight gleam, the Sunless Winter having scattered your family from this home. Everyone is busy, working overtime. Even the War Bearers have had to bear down and participate in more community-focused work; it’s all hands on deck.

You are only a warrior, though. The Grasp has no tasks for you. The chill has reaped any desire for war. Voiceless and intimidating, you’re nothing but a weapon, and so find yourself without use for now.

So… a mission. You land gracefully on the balcony of your family home, a rather lovely little cabin overlooking the very mountain on which the Lantern-Bearer HQ sits, just on the other side. The hills were a somewhat challenging climb near the end, but approaching by way of the road would surely have had you spotted by the Bearer’s guards, and you really didn’t want that conflict.

This home would normally be much more carefully defended, but you know it’s empty for now. And unlike any other would-be intruder, your status as a family member affords you the ability to simply walk through the wards that protect the home. So, sparing the unsettlingly empty night sky one last glance, and taking in a deep breath, you push open the balcony door and begin to traipse into the dark.

How strange, to feel like you’re trespassing in a home that is supposedly yours. Your hand stays perched on your katana, just in case any Bearer guards have been stationed to protect the home in their stead. So far, though, you meet no resistance. You look around—things have changed subtly, but the living room is almost as you remember it from years ago. Though your family is relatively wealthy, the lot of you are pragmatists… mostly. A few particularly lovely, vibrantly patterned seats is all that really betrays that wealth. Kenzō is a stickler for comfortable seating.

The rest of the room is quaint, though decorated well with pictures and cute little things. One set of shelves stands that proudly displays a collection of porcelain animals, more of Kenzō’s doing. They adore the work of a particular artist, and you’ve seen them go out of their way to find caravans and traders that happened to be selling their pieces. You wonder if they’ve finally managed to finish their collection; it looks far more complete than last time you were here.

Shaking yourself off of memory lane, you take another deep breath. Right. You’re here for something. With silent footfalls, you head down the hall and into the bedrooms, of which there are four. Back and to the left is yours, which you find pleasantly still locked, though it immediately unlocks at your touch. You peer in, finding your almost startlingly plain room to be just as it was when you left it, save for the thick coating of dust on every surface and sprawls of cobwebs.

It’s just a dresser and a bed. That’s it. The only thing of note is a picture, of you, Kenzō, and both of your mothers at the ceremony that named you an Ihara. … You try not to look at it.

You just dip your head low, opening your dresser and digging underneath the old clothing. Lo and behold, what you seek is still there—a porcelain bird, matching one that sits on the shelf in the living room, that your sibling once gave you.

You shut the dresser, and step back outside, shutting and locking your door. You have what you came for. You resolve to leave before anyone notices that you’re here, striding out of the hall and towards the balcony door again—

“Pallavi.”

You stop cold in your tracks, hand immediately slipping off of your katana. You turn to look at your mother—Leiko. She’s hard to see under her hood, but in the glow of her masked left eye you can catch the edges of a smile. She’s lounging in one of those soft seats, quite casually, hands behind her head.

“MOTHER - HELLO,” you say. It’s hard to read your tone in those scratchy red letters, but the way you look away from her more than communicates meekness. Few people could make you look meek. She gestures you closer, and you obey instantly, sitting on the little coffee table across from her.

“Of all the soft places in this room to sit, of course you choose there. Have you changed even a bit, my love?” She titters quietly, shaking her head. She reaches out, offering her hand, which you take. “Show me what you came here for.”

You glance at your other hand, and issue a quiet sigh. You show it to her. If you could flush, you would.

“Ah… is this some kind of powerful artifact? I know you’d never come all this way just for a little ceramic animal…” She gives you a knowing look, and you shrug.

“NO - IT - HOLDS - POWER - ONLY - OVER - ME.” A funny little retort. She laughs, rolling her eyes. “WERE - YOU - HERE - THE - ENTIRE - TIME?”

“Of course I was. You know how hard it is to keep secrets from me. And… Kenzō asked me to watch the house while they were away.” She grins practically ear-to-ear, the grin of a trapper whose plan went perfectly. She tugs you in by that hand of hers you hold, giving you a surprisingly strong hug for her seemingly frail body. You’re a bit stiff at first, but… you melt, and just hug her back, tightly.

“It’s been far too long. Don’t worry, I won’t tell Kenzō you were here. They’ve been very good about respecting your privacy, you know.”

“AND - I - THEIRS. I - DO - NOT - WISH - TO - CAUSE - TROUBLE.”

“Clearly. There’s no greater sign you hold no animosity towards us than that little animal in your hand. If only Kenzō could see this gesture…”

“I - DO - NOT - WANT - KENZŌ - TO - FEEL - COMPLACENT. WE - ARE - RIVALS. AS - UNHAPPY - AS - IT - MAKES - ME.” You look down. This is perhaps the first time you’ve been honest about this situation to anyone.

“Is there truly no one else who could help the Grasp? I know how strong you are, dear, but it’s hard for me to believe that you’re so powerful that there’s simply no one on this continent who might be able to take over for you. Don’t you feel as if this… situation is putting too much strain on us?” Her smile fades a bit, her ears lowering as she takes on a sympathetic tone, weighed though it clearly is by a lot of sorrow.

“THERE - IS - NO - ONE. THIS - IS - WHERE - I - BELONG. AND - PERHAPS - THIS - IS - WHERE - KENZŌ - BELONGS. AND - PERHAPS - AT - EACH - OTHER’S - THROATS - IS - WHERE - WE - BELONG.” You turn, finally looking directly at her… before your gaze falls to the floor.

“You can’t truly believe that. If you believed that, you wouldn’t be travelling miles in the snow to get a pointless little trinket that reminds you of them, now would you?”

You keep your eyes fixed to the floor, as you think of a response. You finally look up, and directly into her eyes. “WHY - IS - IT - ALWAYS - ME? WHY - AM - I - THE - ONE - WHO - MUST - CHANGE? WHO - MUST - BUDGE? HAVE - YOU - ASKED - WHICH - ONE - OF - US - IS - RIGHT? YOU - LEFT - THE - BEARERS. YOU - MUST - HAVE - SOME - INSIGHT.”

Her eyes briefly widen, and then look down as well, her ears almost pinning against her head. A long pause passes, and she shrugs. “I… I don’t know. Maybe you’re right. I hadn’t thought of it that way. But I didn’t leave the Bearers to join the Grasp, you know. I don’t particularly care for either of them, and I wonder if your blade would be better served elsewhere.”

“YOU - CLEARLY - CARE - FOR - BOTH - OF - THEM. YOU - CARE - SO - MUCH - THAT - YOU - HAVE - DEVOTED - YOUR - LIFE - TO - MONITORING - THEIR - PUPPET - STRINGS. IS - THAT - NOT - CARE? YOU - DO - NOT - OPPOSE - THEM. YOU - MERELY - GUIDE - THEM.” With each word that passes, the next becomes tighter, more certain, more clear. You maintain eye contact with her. You’re sure.

“… I… hm.” She looks off to the side, as if in thought. She nods. “I guess you’re right. Maybe you’re not the one I should be trying to convince. Whatever the case… I don’t want to argue with you, Pallavi. I’m just glad to see you again, and… to see that you clearly still love your sibling.” She glances briefly to your hand, in which you gently turn the little figure like a worry stone.

“I - WILL - ALWAYS - LOVE - MY - FAMILY.” Finally, you look away again. It’s hard to be so honest, but you know she can read you like a book anyways. You clutch her hand for a moment. “I - LOVE - YOU. I - LOVE - KENZŌ. I - LOVE - BHAVITA. AS - IT - WILL - ALWAYS - BE.”

“I love you too, Pallavi. Why don’t you stay with me for a while? The guards won’t bother us, and… the others won’t be home tonight. I’ll make tea, and we can just talk.”

You pause… and nod.