The Adventures of the Chaos Colt (CHPT 8)

Oct 13th, 2017
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  1. The Adventures of the Chaos Colt!
  3. Chapter 8 - Cute, Colorful, Icky Fillies
  5. >”Mmmm! This is really good! It’s like, having a hot and cold meal at the same time.”
  6. “I know, right! I just came up with it a while ago during meal time. I had a little help from Chef Discord.”
  7. >”A bit crunchy, but creamy and smooth! You’re getting pretty good at this chaos thing already. Thanks to me, of course.”
  8. >This is really fun! You’ve never shared meal time with somepony else besides Dad. Oh! You can’t stay still in your seat. It’s so exciting that you don’t even feel like eating anymore. Dad should really get more friends and invite them over.
  9. >Eris decided to turn your home theater into a temporary diner after you suggested the Hay Sandwich Ice Cream meal. With everything to a jukebox, Eris clones on rollerskates asking and serving food, a bar with clones drinking cider or coffee, and chatting of different conversations. Some of the clones are grooving and jamming to the jukebox.
  10. >It feels really cozy with the plush red couch-like seats, the fun menu with a coloring section, and lots of wacky and cool foods to eat. You take another bite of your ice cream and take a blue crayon, coloring in a picture of a void worm.
  11. >”Whatcha doing over there?” Eris extends her neck around the table and looks at you coloring in the worm. “Huh, for a spirit of chaos, you’re pretty tidy. Thought you would have just scribbled all over the picture.” While still coloring it in, you talk to your friend.
  12. “But if I scribble all over it, you wouldn’t be able to tell what it is.”
  14. >Eris’ neck pulls back to its original length. Her tongue extends out, wraps around a scoop of ice cream, and pulls it into her mouth. “Mmmmm! You have great taste, Anon. I have to say.” She continues to chew her food and speak at the same time.
  15. >“Yeah, but, isn’t that the fun of it, trying to tell… Mmm… What it is over all the mess and craziness?” You put the crayon down and tap your chin.
  16. “I guess if it’s not THAT messy, but I rather just color it in nice and neat, so I can do this!”
  17. >You start to add on to the picture of the worm, giving it a scary face, with extra spikes and horns, and a little bubble that says “RAAAAAWR! I’M HUNGRY!”. While you keep making your picture scarier and awesome, Eris thinks back to what you said a moment ago.
  18. >”Chef Discord?” Eris swallows her food and raises an eyebrow. “What, does the old coot have clones around the house that do that sort of stuff? Tsk, copying me as always.” Your friend rolls her eyes as she pokes and plays with the scoops in her bowl with her talon.
  19. >You pick up the green crayon and start highlighting the border of the worm.
  20. “I dunno, it seems like you do a lot of things that Dad does.”
  21. >Eris gasps and folds her arms. “I do not! My clones are all one of a kind and not lame.” Right as she says that, the Eris waitress comes by. She has a diner uniform on with a pencil on her ear, and a notepad in her uniform pocket.
  22. >”How’s the food doin’? Good? Oh my!” The waitress Eris leans over and looks at your drawing. “Whata’ wonderful picture that is! You’re such ah’ cutie!” She pinches your cheek, making you groan as you give an angry pout.”
  24. “Mnggggg!”
  25. >”What a good fella’.” The waitress turns to Eris and puts her paw on her hip while pointing her talon. “You his sista’?”
  26. >The real Eris giggles and waves her paw dismissively. “Oh ho ho no! I’m just his best friend! Emphasis on best.” She gives a warm smile and teleports next to you, wrapping an arm around your body. Eris gives you a cocky grin while you rub your abused cheek.
  27. >”Oh I know you are the best, darlin’. Well, enjoy your meals!” The waitress gives a friendly grin and walks over to the next table to get their orders. She looks back and waves at you. “Bye cutie!”
  28. “Hnnng… Come on, I’m not THAT cute.”
  29. >Eris chuckles and shakes her head. ”Whatever you say, lil’ dude. Anyways, see what I mean? My clones aren’t lame and old.” You go back to drawing and keep conversing. Oh! Let’s give the worm a giant laser cannon! Pew pew!
  30. “I dunno, seems something Dad would usually do. His clones have their own characters and stuff. Like, Game Show Discord is sort of a teacher, but teaches everything in a game show! It’s pretty fun.”
  31. >”Let me guess, ‘Chef Discord’ cooks things? Please. The fun of it is getting to know the clones. You don’t know their personality or what they do unless you talk to them or watch them do something cool. Just naming a clone already ruins the fun.”
  32. >Maybe give the worm some really cool bat wings! Yeah!
  33. “Hmmm… I guess. But then it’s boring if they all have the same name. If you gave your clones numbers instead of names, that’d be super lame.”
  35. >Eris chuckles nervously and taps her talon claws against the table. “R-Right! Totally lame. Um…” Your friend blushes and turns away, whistling and look around for the waitress.
  36. >And done! Your picture looks super mean and scary. You have to show her your masterpiece.
  37. “Hey Eris, check out my worm! Cool, isn’t it?”
  38. >She turns back, takes a good look at it, and rubs her chin. With a snap of her talons, she puts on a beret and a scarf while pleasingly nodding to your artwork. Her mouth forms into a sly grin as she snaps again, causing her outfit to disappear. “Hey, that’s pretty awesome AND chaotic. Way better than a bunch of scribbles.”
  39. “Mhm! Awww. I already colored everything on this side. Oh! I wonder if there’s more on the other side.”
  40. >You flip the kids menu over, revealing a picture of a really old looking Discord, hunched over and leaning against a cane. Oh… Just looking at the silly picture makes you… Miss him more. You put down the crayon and stare at the picture with a frown.
  41. >”Hey Anon, you okay?” She notices you staring at the picture of Discord. She places her paw on your hoof. “Don’t worry. We’ll find that old coot, even if we have to go to the end of Equestria.” You sniffle and wipe your eyes.
  42. “M-Mhm. I h-hope he’s okay…”
  43. >Eris takes her paw off your hoof and waves it dismissively. “Pfff, even if he’s a geezer, he can take care of himself. He’ll be fiiiine.” The waitress comes back with the bill.
  44. >”Ya know what, the meal’s on the house! You’s just the most amazin’ girl I’ve eva’ met, and your friend is such an adorable lil’ guy!” The waitress’ talon creeps towards your face, making your eyes widen as its size increases the closer it got.
  47. “Nooo- Agh! Mnnggg!”
  48. >”Such a cutie… I just wanna eat him up!”
  49. >The real Eris pulls out a bunch of clams from a random pocket on her fur coat. She drops them onto the clone’s paw. “Here’s a tip for being such an amazing waitress. Keep the change.” She winks.
  50. >”Oh ho ho, you’re too sweet. Have a crazy day!” The waitress does a spin on her rollerskates, and skates into the kitchen.
  51. “I know you’re doing that on purpose… Owww…”
  52. >Eris twiddles her thumbs while looking away and holding in her laughter. “I have no idea what you’re talking about! Peheheheh...” You roll your eyes and go back to finishing up your ice cream.
  53. “Um, Eris, since it’s meal time, Dad always tells me a story about his day. All the crazy stuff he does, or the crazy creatures he meets. Can you tell me a story?”
  54. >Your ears perk up and yours eyes brighten.
  55. “Oh! I know!”
  56. >You place your front hooves on the table, lean on it, and wag your tail.
  57. “Tell me how you know those alicorn princesses!”
  58. >”You mean Chili and Lulu? Ehhhh… Alright.” You tilt your head confusingly.
  59. “Chili and Lulu? Why Chili?”
  60. >”Because Chili controls the sun! Get it, because the sun is really hot?” You roll your eyes.
  61. “You’re super duper weird.”
  62. >”Pfff, whatever… I’ll tell you the story, only because I’m REALLY good at telling them, okay?” You happily nod. “Better listen closely, I won’t repeat myself twice.” She clears her throat and leans in close to from across the table, but pauses.
  63. >”Wait, just telling the story is really boring and lame. Hmmm…” Eris looks over to the crayons and the kids meal. “Heeeeey… I got it!” A large piece of white paper glides through the air and lands perfectly infront of you on the table.
  65. >”How about you draw the characters, and I’ll use my powers to just SHOW you what happened. Know what I’m sayin’?” Your draconequus friend snaps her talon casually and points to you.
  66. “Hey, that sounds like fun and a great idea!”
  67. >This is exactly like how meal time is! Dad always shows or tells stories in different styles. Eris says she’s a lot different, but that’s a bunch of daisies.
  68. >”Now, I need you to draw two little filly versions of those alicorns you saw when your dad got whooped. Just imagine what you think they looked like as baby princesses.”
  69. “I think I’ll need more colors for this.”
  70. >Using your powers, you expand the crayon box, and poof up more colors to use for the drawing.
  71. “There we go!”
  72. >Now, what would Celestia and Luna look like as fillies? Icky, yucky, fillies… Hmmm… Celestia was bigger, so how about… You make her smaller as a filly! She had a super duper growth spurt! Yeah! That’s silly.
  73. >And so you draw a small white filly with flowing colored mane. Hmmm, let’s keep the crown, but none of that armor stuff. It was cool and all, but fillies don’t wear armor. At least, not the normal ones. Maybe you could make some cootie resistant armor against fillies.
  74. >Eris tries to take a peep at your coloring, but you cover the paper with your forelegs.
  75. “No looking until I finish!”
  76. >She retracts and lays back cooly. “Alright, alright. Take your time, buddy.”
  77. >Oh! And Luna said she likes to eat a lot of cake! Make her face and body a bit pudgy and goofy. There we go… Let’s make her face silly and goofy! Tongue sticking out, and eyes all separated.
  78. “Okay, I finished Celestia. Let me do Luna and I’ll show you.”
  79. >”Doooon’t wooooory. Take all the time you need. Considering your creativity, I bet they’ll be awesome.”
  80. “Mhm! Just you wait!”
  82. >Luna Luna Luna… She’s smaller, so let’s make her the opposite of Celly! A bit bigger, skinnier… You feel like she would wear a bib. A black bib with a moon symbol on it. Okay, almost done. Luna seemed a lot more serious than Celly. Let’s give her an angry face, like, suuuuper angry. She’s a tall, grumpy filly.
  83. >You add the crown, no armor, just like with her sister. Flowing, stary, darkish, glistening mane that reminds you so much of a beautiful night sky.
  84. “Aaaaand… Done! Close your eyes.”
  85. >”Pfff, closing eyes is for squares. I’ll just do this.” Eris pops off her eyeballs and covers them with her paw and talon. “Okay, ready when you are.” You flip over the parchment so it faces your friend and hold the top with your mouth.
  86. >Before you can tell her to look, all the clones peak over, and notice the drawing. They all stop dancing, talking, working, just to come over and look at the picture. From the looks of it, they’re all trying their hardest to contain their laughter.
  87. >”Oh sweet Tartarus! That’s too good!”
  88. >”PAHAHAHAH! Look at Celestia!”
  89. >”Pffff, Luna looks like she’s had better days. Or worse!”
  90. >Eris pops on her eyeballs and looks at the crowd with furrowed brows. “Hey! Don’t spoil it!” She turns and faces you. “I wanna see for my- OH MY GOSH!” And all the Eris’ can’t hold off any longer, all bursting out into laughter.
  91. >One Eris inflates and explodes, another turns into a hyena and starts cackling. Each clone shows off a different way to express their giggles, while the real Eris just stares with a big grin.
  92. >”They’re perfect, Anon. I wouldn’t have done it any better! Then again, maaaaybe a little better…” She raises her paw, causing all the clones to freeze. With a snap, they all disappear, and so does the cackling. “Don’t want anything or anyone interrupting the story, especially myself.”
  93. >You beam a smile and turn the paper back towards you.
  95. “I knew you’d love it! I made them super silly.”
  96. >She nods. “Of course I do. Now, I have to do this part myself, because I know how to draw myself better than anypony.” Crayons start to fly out of the box, and instantly start to draw a very detailed and exactly picture of Eris on the paper.
  97. >Once that was done, the crayons began to draw and color in a beautiful and big forest, with a giant castle right behind the two fillies. All with a beautiful blue sky, clouds, and some animals here or there in the trees.
  98. “Whooooaa! It’s so pretty!”
  99. >”There we go. Just had to add a few fine details to finish it off.” With a proud smile, Eris pats her talon and paw together as if she’s cleaning off dust from them.
  100. “Does it mean that it’s-”
  101. >”You bet it’s story time, my cute compadre.” C’mon, just when you thought she was done with calling you cute…
  102. >”Peheheh! Never gets old. Ahem, anyways!”
  103. >Here we go! She’s about to start! Shhh, Anon! Calm down and just listen. You sit back and conjure up some popcorn, eagerly munching away and watching as the piece of paper floats up like a screen.
  104. >“Know how most stories start at the beginning, or even at the end? This one starts right in the middle of another story; the story of how Equestria was made… From my perspective!”
  105. >The crayon picture starts to come to life. The clouds start to slowly drift in the sky, the wind moves the green leaves gently, and the fillies start to play around, giggling together.
  107. >The page extends itself out to right, leaving the beautiful drawing to the left side, and a new blank page to the right. And as Eris speaks and says things, pages begin to form, new crayon characters and pictures are drawn, and they all come to life to what your friend is describing or explaining.
  109. >Not sure if the old coot’s mentioned it, but Equestria didn’t use to exist. Oh, I don’t mean that the WORLD didn’t exist, because it did and I can prove it’s still there. Let’s just say there were loooooot less ponies than there are now. Like, a lot more.
  110. >Those three races of ponies you know? Unicorns, pegasi, and earth ponies? They decided to work together out of friendship, which shooed away those pesky Windigos. Isn’t that rad? Those lame-o ice spirits got beat by a few horses hugging together. Hah!
  111. >Equestria was formed out of the unsettled dispute of races clashing against each other. Isn’t that ironic? Something that really depends on friendship, all formed out of chaos and disorder. And just like a strong cast iron chain, their friendships linked together and formed the bands that hold Equestria together.
  112. >But let’s fast forward to me, and how MY impact changed Equestria into what you and I know it for. I haven’t changed much since; I mean, why would I need to change? I’m fantastic then and still am now!
  113. >Ahem, anyways… Equestria needed a unified and unbiased ruler. That means they needed a leader who didn’t have an unfair liking or dislike for any of the races. And look at how lucky they got with that! Those two alicorn sisters came along, thanks to the help of another old coot.
  114. >With some boring political and diplomatic stuff… Blah blah blah… They became the rulers of Equestria!
  115. >Whoa, don’t get too excited yet. I haven’t even gotten to the best part! The part where I come in. So yeah, they ruled Equestria with their powerful magic and stuff. Going ‘pew pew!’ with giant beams of magic and whooping baddies left and right!
  116. >Celestia has the power to lower and raise the sun, while Luna has the power to lower and raise the moon. Meh, I could do both without looking, but I wouldn’t want to steal their jobs and put ‘em out of business.
  118. >Well, it was thousands of years ago, when Lulu and Chili were little itty bitty fillies. I know you find fillies gross, just bare with me. Oh, and if you were wondering, alicorns are immortal, at least the ancient ones.
  119. >Luckily, I was strolling by, doing my weekly pranking spree when I spotted these two cuties booooringly studying magic with an old coot probably just as old as your dad. A weirdo unicorn responsible with teaching two ancient alicorns with learning magic. Talk about crazy, amiright? I loved the idea!
  120. >So I decided to kick things up a notch. But unlike your father, I don’t barge in and screw stuff up. No, I came up with a sneaky plan; to show those young princesses how to REALLY have fun.
  121. >As they sat in a tall tower in the castle in the middle of a forest, in the middle of class, I flew in as a paper airplane-
  123. “WAIT! I’ve seen that castle before!”
  124. >The little animation of drawings stop, and Eris peaks over the top of the sheets of paper. “Really?” She raises an eyebrow and leans on top of the paper, causing it to fold a bit. “I got the impression that your dad wants you on lockdown all the time.”
  125. >You tilt your head and look up, rubbing your chin with your hoof.
  126. “I mean, there was this one time not too long ago… Actually, I don’t know how long it’s been, but he took me to Equestria and I saw that exact castle being built!”
  127. >How long has it been since you’ve seen your dad? You were stuck inside the telescope for a while, then the house fell out of the sky and shattered. But after that, you fell asleep under the couch and everything was in itty bitty pieces.
  129. >”’Being built’? As in, it wasn’t finished? That doesn’t… Oh yeah, time doesn’t flow normally in the Void!” Eris slaps her forehead, causing her head to spin around a few times. “How could I forget!”
  130. “I don’t notice because I’m always here, but Dad did mention that before. I think.”
  131. >”Eh.” Eris gets off the paper and hides behind it again. She stretches and pulls the pages, causing any folds to straighten out. “Let’s finish the story. We’re getting to the BEST part.”
  132. “Yeah, we can always talk about it later. I wanna see what you did first!”
  135. >Okay! As the two fillies sat in a tall castle in the middle of a forest, in one of the tallest towers, I flew in as a paper airplane. Then, I played a little trick; a trick that would spiral into a whole mess of chaos for ages to come...
  136. >Now, I have to introduce you to this weirdo, because they’re as weird as they come. I mean, look at him! He has great style, I have to say. Has that long wizardy hat, those long wizardy robes, and that long and curly beard. I’m was surprised he didn’t have a wand!
  137. >This guy is none other than Starswirl the Bearded. I mean, everypony says he’s this powerful wizard and blah blah blah, but c’mon, a baby draconequus can easily perform any advanced spell he came up with. Take for example THIS specific lesson he was teaching.
  138. >”It takes an abundant amount of magical energy to perform a simple polymorph spell. Turning one object into another is no easy task! Yes yes! Now if only I could turn my beard into cotton candy! Now that would be marvelous! Oh indeed!”
  139. >Celestia and Luna were sitting happily- Oh wait, that’s not right! There we go! Celestia and Luna were sitting half asleep on their desks. Luna was trying her super duper hardest to stay awake, but I can’t even stay awake just trying to remember Starswirl’s lessons.
  141. >On the other hoof, Celestia was completely conked out. You could make a bubble bath with the amount of saliva she was drooling. But what I did next really caught them by surprise. Just as Luna closed her eyes...
  142. >I glided straight into that wrinkled unicorn’s beard. And he didn’t even flinch! He didn’t even know what hit him! I swear, he gets so into his lessons that he gets sidetracked.
  143. >”Maybe we could go on a fieldtrip deeper into Everfree to polymorph some fruits! Oh my, I could really go for some Honeysuckle, or Bumbo Berries. How about you girls? Would a lecture in the forest be-”
  144. >I like this dude. He may be old and all, but he REALLY knows how to be chill and fun. Instead of getting angry at the fillies, he turned around and curiously wondered what made the fillies fall asleep.
  145. >”Did you two accidentally cast a sleep spell on each other? I can see that Luna had a more successful attempt than you, Celestia.”
  146. >These lil’ gals were used to getting caught a lot. So they shot awake almost instantly. *snaps* Like that! And oh man, when they saw me stuck to his beard…
  147. >Luna squinted her eyes, holding in her giggles silently, while Celestia just fell over and started laughing harder than that one time I tricked your dad- I mean, uh… She was just cackling super hard, that’s all you need to know.
  148. >Ahem… Starswirl really couldn’t put his hoof on it, so he scratched his beard, like any thinking wizard would do. That was, until he came across me on his curly curls.
  149. >”Oho! A letter for me? Let’s see…” He slowly opened me up, taking a sweet look at what I drew. “This is rather cute, I have to say! Though, my beard isn’t THAT long, is it girls?”
  151. >Celestia was too busy trying to gasp for air. With those lungs, I bet she could be a really good opera singer. Or maybe a banshee, who knows. Luna decided to speak up for herself and her sister.
  152. >”Um… Swirly, I didn’t draw that picture. I don’t think Tia did, either.” This caught Celestia by surprise. Big time. She stopped laughing, and turn to her sister with that derpy face you drew. Pahahahah! She looks so stupid!
  153. >”What? I thought you drew that, Lulu! It had to have been you.”
  154. >”Huh? No I didn’t. I think you drew it, because I didn’t.”
  155. >”Nuh uh! You only use the color Poison Joke Blue. I would have used Royal blue to draw Swirly’s robe.”
  156. >”I only use Poison Joke Blue for Poison Joke flowers! That would be silly, Tia.”’
  157. >”Not as silly as that drawing you drew. C’mooooon, I know you did it!”
  158. >Meanwhile, Starswirl had levitate a mirror over, and was comparing the little mimic drawing I made with himself. “Hmmmm… Maybe my beard is a bit long… Yeeesh, do I look that old? I have to get working on an anti-aging spell.”
  159. >The girls were really convinced that the other drew the picture. Well, my plan was working, and this next prank, sealed the deal. As Starswirl kept having a mid-life crisis with himself in the mirror, he trotted over to his desk to get his reading glasses.
  160. >But Eris strikes again! Haha! I placed a thumbtack right on his seat! And once he sat down- “YAAOOOOOOW! GREAT GIBBLES! MY RUMP!” He sky rocketed into the air so high, that he crashed right into the ceiling, getting stuck in it. “Oh my, I think we might have a mouse infestation up here…”
  161. >Once again, the fillies giggles and chuckled at Starswirls silliness, but instantly glared each other right in the eyes, with devious grins. Celestia spoke first this time.
  163. >”I know you put that thumbtack on his chair. Sneaky.”
  164. >”I would never pull such a dirty trick. You probably fell asleep so you could pretend it wasn’t you!”
  165. >”Well, if I was asleep, I couldn’t have done it. So ha ha! You lose! Pbffffff!”
  166. >”But I didn’t do it, Tia. I don’t do those type of things?”
  167. >”Oh yeah, what are you gunna do about… This!”
  168. >Originally, Celestia was supposed to throw a nearby pillow that was laying around or something, but guess what? I replaced it with a pie! Pahahaha! I know, I’m the master prankster!
  169. >The tin pan slid down Luna’s face, and let me tell you, she had the face of a challenger. Actually, let me just draw it on her face, right over that grumpy looking one. Mhm… Kinda like… That. Just look, that face could scare foals into going to bed. Maybe that’s how she does her job. Hmmm…
  170. >From then on fourth, the prank war began! Celestia was a dirty trickster, I’ll tell you that. She had no mercy whatsoever! Buckets above doorways, using cooking oil to make the ground slippery, and my favorite of all time, putting butter in Luna’s slippers!
  171. >Oh, but don’t think Luna is so innocent, either. She was the sneakier one. She’d replace the sugar with the salt at breakfast time, so when Celestia put it all over her pancakes… Lemme just draw the face she made when she took a bite. Kinda like that, sorta? Maybe a bit more “EWWW”. You get the picture.
  172. >And for years and years to come, the prank wars never stopped. And don’t think they spared anypony else. They played plenty of tricks on Starswirl, the butlers, the maids, everypony! All thanks to mwah.
  174. >Eris extends her arms out, smushes the pages together, and creates a book entirely made of crayon drawings. She places it down and slides it towards you with a cocky grin. It said, “Eris’ Historical Influence on Equestria: Volume 1”.
  175. >”There’s more where that came from, lil’ dude.” Your eyes shimmer at the book as you eagerly wrap your forelegs around it. With a happy smile, you look up at Eris and plead.
  176. “Can I keep it? Is this for me? Please please please?! I wanna read it every night before bed!”
  177. >Eris cooly looks at her paw and flips her mane back. “Yeah, sure. It’s all yours, bud! You’re welcome.”
  178. “Thank you thank you thank you! I’ll keep it on my dresser so I can read it before I go to bed.”
  179. >That’s so cool! Eris showed two alicorn princesses the fun in pranking! Dad always says pranking is healthy for the chaotic soul, even if the outcome can seem a little bit unhealthy. As long as everypony is having fun, it’s okay, right?
  180. >Well, now that the story was over, it was time you both start heading on your adventure. You can’t wait to show Dad Eris’ book! I bet he’d love it, AND be impressed with Eris. Maybe, maybe, he can adopt her, and she can be your sister! That would be SOOOO COOOOL! But now, something else comes to mind.
  181. “Um, Eris.”
  182. >You face your friend, causing her to perk up and look in your direction. “Watsup?”
  184. “You think I’m ready to go on that super duper impossible path in the Void? I had fun with the dance thing, but it sounds a lot scarier than a disco contest.”
  185. >”Nah, you’ll be fine. I mean, the monsters are a lot more vicious, nasty, and crazier to the point where they’ve lost their minds, but I bet you can take them on with all your hooves tied together.” You nervously take another hoof full of popcorn into your mouth.
  186. “W-Whash doesh vicioush mean?”
  187. >”Just another word for, uh… Let’s see… Angrier. Stop worrying so much! Where’s that Anon I saw on the dance floor? Stop being a baby.” You narrow your eyes and stop smiling.
  188. “I amsh notsh ah baby!”
  189. >”Don’t talk with your mouth full, it makes you look less cute.” You swallow and scowl. “That’s better! Daaaaw, your angry face is so cute. Makes me want to pinch-” You cover your cheeks and move back against the plush seats.
  190. “NO! My cheeks are for smiling, not pinching!”
  191. >Eris snickers and leans back, cooly resting her left arm across the top of the couch seat. You relax and let out a sigh, moving forward back to your original spot.
  192. “Okay… I guess you’re right… No, you are right! I gatta stop being a scaredy cat. Yeah! I’ll show those nasty nasties who’s the dance king!”
  193. >Eris hesitates for a moment. “Well, I wouldn’t suggest dancing this time, because the crawlers won’t be dancing as well. More like, they’re going to try and tear you apart, maybe eat your face off. Meh.” W-What?!
  195. “On s-second thought, I think I’ll stay in my room-”
  196. >You try to get up from your seat, but Eris grabs your hoof and pulls you back before you could escape. “Ah ah ah. C’mon, I bet you could take on hundreds of them. I mean, I can take on millions without blinking, but you’ll get there eventually.”
  197. >Anon! Stallion up! If you can take on a bunch of creeps in a maze of fire, you can take on a couple of killer beasts trying to make you their meal. You take a deep breath and sigh, puffing up your chest and standing up on the table. You strike a hero pose.
  198. “Yeah!”
  199. >Eris somersaults into the air as you cheer. She swings her arm, giving you a wink and a grin. “That’s the spirit! The spirit of chaos, if you want to be literal.”
  200. “...At least you’ll help, right?”
  201. >”Pfff of course!” She teleports right besides you and pulls you in for a hug. “As if I’d let my adorable pal get torn apart by some crawlers. Or Void Worms, or Void Squids, or-” You giggle and playfully shake Eris.
  202. “Okay okay! I get it… Eris, thanks for finding me and being my friend. If it wasn’t for you, I would have probably been eaten alive by those mosnters, or left until my tummy rumbles got the best of me…”
  203. >She gives you a friendly noogie, in which you both laugh and cherish the moment. “Don’t sweat it, Anon. It’d be uncool for me to leave an adorable colt all alone in the dangers of the void.”
  204. “Hehe, yeah!”
  205. >That got you thinking… You left all those Crystal ponies alone… Silver Steel, under the hooves of S-Suh… Sooo… You’ll work on that later.
  206. “Um, Eris? Can I ask a favor? I think there’s somepony else that might need our help. Maybe just as much as Dad.”
  208. >Your draconequus pal raises an eyebrow and lets you go. “Hold that thought, mister! Wait, I’ll do it for you.” She unscrews the top of your head, pulls out a fortune cookie, and screws it back closed. She places it in your hoof and teleports into the middle of the diner.
  209. >With a simple clap of her paw and talon, the entire place disappears, making your little movie theater appear again. You break open the cookie and take out the little parchment, eating the cookie bits. Mmmm, sugary! Eris telepathically grabs a bean bag chair, pulls it over by you, slumps down on it, and leans back.
  210. >”So, what does it say?”
  211. “Umm… It says, ‘I have a friend from the Crystal Empire that might need our help. Actually, I think all the Crystal ponies might need our help...’ Oh! Lucky numbers!”
  212. >While you looked at the numbers, Eris pulls out the same map she checked before. Her eyes let out this red light that scans the map. Once it finishes, the light goes away, and so does the map.
  213. >”Hmmm… There’s no such thing as the Crystal Empire. Though, I’ve heard about it. Heard how it’s suuuuper big and really beautiful. Tch, I’ll be the judge of that.” You drop the fortune paper and run up to Eris with a worried look.
  214. “What do you mean it doesn’t exist? It has to! The book I saw it in is a real history book that Dad gave me.”
  215. >”Well, chaos powers don’t lie unless you want them to. But that’s not the main problem right now. Like you said before, we have to find that old coot before this place implodes, then explodes, then implodes again, and maybe a death metal mariachi takes over from there- You get what I mean.”
  217. >That makes no sense! Every history book your dad gave you was one hundred percent true! Anything that happens in Equestria is recorded in a book using his chaos powers, and he adds it to your library.
  218. “How do you know it doesn’t exist?”
  219. >Eris shrugs. “I just checked, and there’s nothing under the radar in Equestria known as the Crystal Empire. We’ll find out about that another time. But for now…” She scratches her talon claws into the air, and rips open a purplish portal that swirled like a whirlpool.
  220. >”You ready, Anon? I mean, we can come back here anytime you want. It’s like a portable home now! So don’t worry about leaving your room behind.”
  221. >You can’t just leave those Crystal Ponies to suffer! They were in danger! Their entire home was destroyed! You tug on Eris tail with watery eyes.
  222. “Please E-Eris… *sniff* We have to check, just at least check if it exists, okay?”
  223. >The draconequus groans. “Fiiiinnneee. But the place better be as awesome as you let it on to be.” You look into the swirling portal for a moment. Don’t worry, King Lattice, we’re coming to save your kingdom! We’ll make you proud, Silver Steel!
  224. “Do not doubt. Do not fall. Our crystal hearts shall prevail all!”
  225. >”Yeah! What you said! But uh, my heart is more of a… Glass vase sculpture of a dolphin… It’s complicated, but you understand.”
  226. “Nope!”
  227. >Eris swings her arm once more. “Close enough! But not too close, just how I like it!” She slithers through the portal, but right before you hop in, you scurry over to your dresser, and place the book down.
  228. “Don’t worry, book. I’ll be back in time for bed to read you!”
  229. >And so you hop through the portal to what awaits you beyond.
  231. >The book on your dresser starts to shake, and the voice of Starswirl could be heard. “Hello? Is anypony there? Oh, hello little mousey, how are you- No! Not the beard! Anything but the beard! AH! STOP! I shall polymorph you into a pinecone if you don’t- AGH! Quit it! No! NO! NOOOOOOOOO!”
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