ugh

sung joon was an accident. an unfortunate accident.

his birth? no, that was purposeful. after all, who could they shove their properties on if he didn't exist? ah, the real accident was the fact that he did not come out as their perfect son as everyone had anticipated.

an attention fixation paired with a child that rarely received anything other than a quick nod and a routine kiss on the cheek did not fare as well as one would hope. but he'd be lying if he said that it was more than a small annoyance to him. if his desires could not be fulfilled by them, he'd find others to comply.

he gained new names throughout the years because of this.

"daredevil," they called him as he climbed out of the window to skip class. his arms ached and his knees were scraped up and bloody due to the bricks hitting them so often. the drop to the ground was too far, he knew, but that didn't stop him. his slender fingers let go of their hold on the ledge of the window as he looked up to give his observant classmates a wink. they shouted his name as he landed, pain shooting up his legs until they reached his hips, urging him to sit down and wallow in regret. with a shake of his head, he pushes himself to run even though his entire body is screaming, "no!" but when has sung joon ever listened?

his name is now "oh, my god" as he clicks his tongue and guides the red-faced girl into the closet. sung joon whispers her name too, "go ahead and kiss me" as he lets his hands rest on her hips. her skin is burning under his touch and that gives him more pleasure than a simple kiss ever could. they're surrounded by darkness but he knows that feeling of ghosting lips all too well. when his lips meet hers, they trade breaths of pure lust. hers, for him. his, for himself.

who was sung joon now? he only knew "you're a cheater!" as he got his test back with everyone's eyes glued on him yet again. his eyes darkened as they flickered upwards, a satisfied expression slowly appearing on his face. "another a+" crumples the paper with ink stained hands and tosses it on the floor next to him, scoffing slightly before leaning back in his chair. "thank you all so much, i am so incredibly flattered," he announces, giving a small nod to the teacher and urging him to continue. the teacher does continue but so does the small talk in the back of the classroom.

sung joon cries his new title of "what's wrong with me?" in the only bathroom stall with a door. his cheeks are stained with tears of "why can't i stop?" and "is this normal?" he's wiping his nose with crumpled up toilet paper that does more harm than anything. his breathing slows as he calms down and brings his knees to his chest. sung joon always reasoned that this happened because of his parents that refused to care but he also knows that it shouldn't be this intense. the familiar feeling in the pit of his stomach has returned and he nearly punches himself to get rid of it. sixteen years and it's still unfamiliar, no matter how much he longs for it.

"the hot, mysterious one" walks through the library, checking out books on greek mythology. it's absurd, but not even the great sung joon can come up with other answers for what seems to be happening. the internet says one thing but this time he gives them a name, "limited knowledge". his fingers trail the spines of a dozen books as he glances over the names, stopping only when he's found one that has piqued his interest. that one he takes home, breathing in every single word until his finger stops at a name. clymene, titaness of renown, fame, and infamy. sung joon lets out a loud laugh and starts muttering to himself. "surely, this isn't right..." and he knows it can't be. until he finds out it is.

his name is "undeserving" as he graduates in the top percentage of his class. sung joon knows that name is a lie. he worked hard and despite all of the trouble he's gotten in, his pride in himself never wavered. that name is stuck on his back like a figurative "kick me" sign. it's nestled among his collection of other signs and he briefly considers opening up a personal museum before snorting at the thought.

"no longer my son" puts himself through years of schooling, living off monthly checks he gets from his father. they're not out of kindness, his father has never been kind. they're a trade. enough money to keep him more than comfortable in exchange for sung joon keeping as many miles between them as possible. he has to travel back to his home city to collect it, but it's a minor hassle compared to actually being with him. "independent" runs into someone that seems to feel the same as he, in different aspects of course. he bites back a grin and listen closely to his words and follows his lead, ending up in the only place he's ever felt right.

sung joon is now quite well known as "that son". everyone everywhere seems to know the bang family and for once, he somewhat wishes he didn't have that attention. it's irritating, having that label practically tattooed to his forehead rather than temporarily on his back. it's also just as thrilling, seeing everyone's heads turn and mumble under their breath as he shoots them a knowing glance. he knows exactly what they're saying, depending on the people. older adults are gossiping about what a shame it is that he didn't stay to continue on the family name. people more around his age are seething with jealousy that even though he's that son, he is still that son. anyone younger is in awe of him, which is extremely satisfying. he walks down the street, a cocky grin settled on his raw lips that have been bitten one too many times both by himself and other people his mind is too foggy to name. he can barely make out what they're saying but he knows.

even jogging up to his less than impressive apartment, his ears twitch at the sound of his name.

"handsome."

"scary."

"a shame."

each and every one, they are all his. and he wears them with pride.