Anonymous Bravo in: Bad Hare Day

“Alright, so Carl, all I hafta do is…balance, right?”
>”Correct, Anonymous. Just position your right arm 7.3 micrometers higher on the Z-axis…”
>You are currently on one leg, right leg out at a 90 degree angle with a metal box on the tip of your shoe, left arm is out directly in fornt of you with a  box that has 2 antennae and wires connecting to the box on your shoe and the multi-pronged dookickey in your right hand.
>You move your right arm towards Doctor ‘Carl’ Hooves.
>”No, no, no. Move the arm back…that’s it…now upwards, away from the ground! Perfect!”
“…what is this all for, anyway?”
>”It’s just a little recalibration for my newest invention. With this I will be able to locate any creature, big or small, across the entire planet! And it’s completely magic-free!”
>You place the antennae over your head
“Hey, I think I can hear cable TV with this!”
>Your sudden moving of the machine strains a cord, and it begins to spark.
>”PUT THAT BACK, HURRY!”
>You oblige.
>”Phew. Now that that mess is avoided, let’s juice this baby up!”
>He pulls some small wand out of his mane and aims it at the doohickey in your right hand, and a shower of sparks light up.
>All is dark…
>You begin to awaken.
>Something is off…like…
(My glasses! Ah can’t be seen without mah glasses!)
>The noises coming out of your mouth are not words.
(What in the…)
>They are squeaks!
(Woooah, nelly!)
>Looking over yourself, you find that you are in the body of none other than your nemesis…Angel Bunny.
>As if any other rabbit has this color fur, and is in bed with Fluttershy…
>Well well, you’re in bed with Fluttershy.
(Ah shoulda known that rabbit was up to no good, around every corner and under every blanket.)
>Fluttershy murmurs, and rolls over, facing you.
>”Good morning, Angel Bunny. Are you ready for breakfast?”
(Fluttershah! Thank god or your deific equivalent that you can understand animals, it’s me, Anonymous! Ahm trapped in your dumb rabbit’s body!)
>”Aww, you’re awfully chipper today to be so vocal. Let’s get you some breakfast, alright Angel?”
(Come again?)
>Fluttershy scoops you up and flutters out of her room and into the kitchen.
>She begins to hum to herself and prepare two salads.
(Come on, Fluttershah, you gotta believe me! Speaking of, you gotta understand me! Come on, Anon, think for once!)
>As Fluttershy ignores your plight and words, you notice a mirror.
>Perfect time to fix this rabbit’s couture, Anonymous style.
>With one swift motion, you whip the hair on your current head forward, and it holds into your usual pompadour. Grabbing some nearby oil, you apply a dose to the hair, and it holds.
(Alright, now for the most important part: the sunglasses!)
>You strut right on towards the drawers in Fluttershy’s living room and pull a small rabbit-sized pair of dark sunglasses
(Well that was plot-convenient. This rabbit’s got some good taste in shades.)
>Fluttershy comes in and sees you sitting at the table.
>”Oh my, Angel, such good manners today! You’re already at the table, and you’ve fixed your hair today!”
(Come on, lady, notice it!)
>”Though you look a little like Anon…”
(Yes, yes!)
>”I guess you two are getting along!”
>She giggles and sets down the salads.
>”Now eat up, Angel Bunny.”
>You lean in towards the salad and look back at her.
(Well, ah am a little hungry…sure, why not.)
>Soon you are down to the last carrot in the bowl.
>Fluttershy has been staring at you, dumbfounded.
>You pick up the carrot like a cigar, take a few bites and look back at her with a raised eyebrow.
(What’s up, doc?)
>”Wow, Angel, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you eat everything before, let alone without being forced to eat it! I’m so proud of you! I think you’ve earned yourself a treat at Sugarcube Corner…”
>Well who can say no to that?
(Perfect! Maybe Carl’s there, he should be able to fix this!)
>Fluttershy places you on her back and glides into town, humming a sweet little ditty all the while.
(Great, the one time I’m on top of Fluttershah, and ah can’t even enjoy it.)

>You are Angel.
>Just a few hours ago, you found yourself in an awkward position in the Doctor’s Tardis in the body of your nemesis: Anonymous.
>Who else can confer stupidity simply through existing alone and is 6 feet tall…
>Hmm, height, huh?
>Well well, and a buffness to match it!
>You could get used to this.
“You there, Doctor. What has occurred?”
>”Oh my word, somehow the experiment has gone terribly wrong…in a good way! Anonymous, you’re intelligent now!”
“Yes, yes. Ignoring that, I’ve got a mission here! It is time to truly show these p0nies that I am quite possibly the finest catch this side of Fillydelphia, and can do much better than Fluttershy.”
>”Oh dear…I’ve created a monster! Snap out of it, Anonymous!”
>Doctor Whooves rushes to you to hold you down, but you sidestep him, and wrap him in the cords nearby.
“I am sorry Doctor, but I cannot allow you to get in my way. Good day.”
>It is time…

You are Doctor Whooves.
>Just a few minutes ago your best friend became a genius, tied you up in cables and left you.
“Sighhh.”
>”Silly, filly, you don’t SAY sigh, you just do it!”
>She sighs.
>”See?”
“I’m aware, Pinkie Pie, but Anonymous has really changed. I don’t even know if I can find him anymore.”
>You slump back onto the table at Sugarcube Corner as Fluttershy comes in with Angel.
>”But Doctor, Anon’s right there, on Fluttershy’s back.”
>What?
“Impossible, that is Angel…wearing sunglasses with a pompadour!?”
>Could it really be?
>But that means Anonymous wasn’t mentally enhanced, he had his mind swapped with Angel!
“Yes, of course! The device located an animal, and the shock must have translocated the mental capacities and memories between the two! Anonymous, am I glad to see you!”
>”Umm, mister Whooves, why are you talking to Angel?I thought the two of you were on bad terms after the steel carrot incident.”
“Oh, um, long story short, that’s Anonymous on your back, Angel has just run off with Anonymous’ body! We must capture him!”
>”Haha, you’re so silly sometimes, Doctor.”
>Angelanon taps Fluttershy on the shoulder, then hops onto your back, giving her a salute.
>”But if it means you and Angel are having fun, I’m not going to stop you.”
“Alright, I hope you can understand me, Anon. Let’s go rescue your body, then we can put you back where you belong!”
>He squeaks and snaps his paws at you.
>Mission is go!

>You are Anonymous.
>You take your position on Carl’s shoulders and grab his mane.
(YAH!)
>He whinnies and charges forward, like a steed from legend…
>Or he just seems that fast because you are less than a foot tall.
>”Alright, I think I know how to track Angel.”
(Care to explain, Carl?)
>”I’ll take that as a ‘continue’. Anyway, Angel is unused to your body, and will be behaving strangely, so adding that to the fact that you are the only human, he should stick out like a sore thumb!”
>Alright!
>…
>Every single p0ny that was asked about your location had the same thing to say:
>Nice things.
>”Oh that Anonymous has become such a gentlecolt!”
>”He helped me across the street!”
>”He reorganized the library!”
>”He helped me do my taxes!”
>”He burnt my shake.”
(Come again?)
>”Well, I like my shake burnt.”
(Yeah, whatever. Carl, this isn’t working!)
>”Anonymous, this isn’t working! We need to think of a plan to catch him. If we were you, and you were a rabbit, where’s the first place you would go?”
(Gentleman’s Club.)
>”Of course! Brilliant, Anon! He’d go help the Cutie Mark Crusaders!”
(Close enough.)
>”We haven’t a moment to lose!”
>You come across the Cutie Mark Crusader Clubhouse, and hear a racket coming from within.
>You hear a voice that is definitely yours, but wrong somehow.
>”No girls, you’ll never earn your marks like that!”
>”But how’re we s’possed ta get our cutie marks just licking this pole thing?”
>Not the little redheaded girl!
>”Yeah, what’re we doINg wrong?”
>No, not Sweetie Belle!
>”I bet I was doing it right! Watch, I can do it even faster!”
>NO, NOT SCOOTS!
>You make a terrific leap from Carl’s back and burst in through the open window, tucking and rolling before coming to a standing position.
(Unhand those girls, Angel, or prepare to feel mah wrath!)
>Angel, in your body, is in a Santa hat, holding a large candy cane that the three crusaders are trying to lick.
(Phew. But mah demand still stands, rabbit!)
>You take a kung fu pose.
>So does he.
>”We meet again, for the last time!”
(Wait, you can understand me?)
>”But of course, Anonymous. It was my form before yours. Now prepare yourself!”
>He dashes in to you, and you leap, spinning into a full on kick to your face, when you stop just short and fall back to the ground.
(A…ah just can’t do it! I can’t harm that beautiful face!)
>”Ah, but I can!”
>He lifts you by the ears and spins you around, flinging you out of the window and into a basketball hoop.
>Swish!
>You recover quickly, brushing off the dust as Angel leaps through the window in a flawless somersault landing just a few feet away.
>With a smug grin he begins to taunt you.
>”Aww, what’s the matter, little bunny rabbit? Afraid to get yourself a little dirty?”
(Not anymore!)
>You rush in with absolute conviction. It’s now or never!
>”HALT! If you so much as move a muscle, I will take these sunglasses off!”
(NO! Don’t do it!)
>You stop once more, filled with horror as Angel advances on your position.
>”You poor little, foal. You’ve underestimated my cunning. Now you’re going to live the life of a mere pet with Fluttershy as I get any mare I want! I am sick of living in that useless pegasi’s care, it is high time I get what I deserve!”
(You can insult me, can mess up mah hairdo and threaten to take off the shades, but you do NOT insult Fluttershah!)
>You uppercut your beautiful chin, sending Angel sprawling.
(Kay-oh, furball.)
>”Excellent! Now just stand on him while I reactivate the Sonic Screwdriver!”
>You stand atop your body with a proud look.
>The world begins to blur, and when it finally stops, you are looking straight at the sky, and a small rabbit collapses on your chest.
>…
>You are back at the Sugarcube Corner, holding the sleeping Angel in your arms, still wearing the sunglasses and hairdo.
>”Oh, Anonymous! Hello, did your playdate with mister Whooves and Angel go well?”
“Ah…guess so? Here, take the little bugger.”
>”Aww, he’s so tuckered out. Thank you for playing with him, Anon. It means so much to me to see your nurturing caring side!”
“Yeah, whatever.”
>She flies up to your face and kisses you on the cheek.
“Awwww, yeah. She digs me!”
>The next day, you visit Fluttershy’s house to ask her out on a date.
>”Come on inside, I’m still preparing lunch!”
>You enter and see Angel, still dressed like you, but now in his own miniature black shirt.
>”I know it’s strange, but Angel Bunny has been on the best behaviour lately! I think you’re rubbing off on him.”
“Yeah…weird.”
>You look at angel right in the shades.
“We cool, little guy?”
>Angel squeaks once, and puts out a fist.
>Bumping it, you smile.
“We’re cool. And hey, you’re the best dressed bunny now, too!”
>You both flash each other double pistol fingers.
>You turn around to see Fluttershy holding two trays with sandwiches on them.
>”Oh, well if you’ll wait just a minute, I’ll be back with another one for you, Anonymous.”
“Well it ain’t no problem at all, Fluttershah!”
>You sit down on the couch next to Angel, and he scowls at you.
“What’s eating you, little guy?”
>He points behind you.
>Maybe you’ve changed this whole dynamic and made a new friend! He trusts you enough to share his thoughts and fears!
>You turn to see, and he whacks you on the back of the head with the table.
>Maybe not.
End