i'm sad over my ex, laying in my bed, listening to blink-182. seems just like march all over again. but this time, i still love her and I'm not sad over what she did to me. i'm just sad because it's over, but I'm happy because it happened.

i'm happy because of all those times i snuck out to go to her house. I'm happy because of all those times we would just lay there and cuddle. i'm even happy remembering the time i drooled in her mouth when we made out for the first time because even though in the moment, i was embarrassed when she told me, now it's just a distant find memory of her.

and i'm hurting because it'll never happen again. no more kisses. no more hugs. not more i love you. no more good morning/good night. ill probably get more in the future, but not from her. not from the one i crave attention, love, and affection from. ill never get those things again and it hurts. i still love you mika. even though i wish i didn't so i wouldn't hurt, i do.

i just wish it didn't end like this. not on a sad Tuesday morning. it's not like that blissful Friday we finally became official and that i was estatic. it's like march when i was sad over how shitty my life was. and you made my day every day. everytime i talked to you it was like you were the best friend i never had and it was great back then.

but recently whenever we were on the phone it was exhausting. you'd be in shitty mood and i was unable to get you out of it. back then, i thought it was because of people at school. now i realize it was because you didn't love me and were too scared to say it.

it was really sad when i read your spams description and it changed from i post about my boyfriend a lot to i have issues, come join the ride. that's when i knew it was truly over. little things like that are what made me start liking you, and made me realize that you didn't like me anymore.

i just hope one day we'll be together again. i love you and truly feel you're perfect for me. but right now, about 20 minutes after our break-up that's just a stupid wish I'm making to cope with the fact the one i care about most doesn't love me anymore.

i just miss the days back in summer whenever i was so in love with you that i took a grounding all summer long over you and whenever you loved me enough to let me come over 3 days in a row. the good old days.

i just wish my feelings weren't one sided but I'll get over it. it might take half an hour, it might take 2 weeks. but however long I'll get over you. i just wish i was over you now. thanks for the best 8 months of my 14 year old life. i love you and i wish you the best of luck replacing me.