I WANT TO BREAK FREE

Alexithymiaa: -Steph sat at the piano in the living room, thankful to be doing something other than activities that were confined to her bed. She'd reached out to Liz about hearing the demo and set something up for next week, so now she was just polishing what she'd already written so it sounded appealing to Liz. Pressing her fingers into the keys, she set her eyes on the sheet music in front of her, singing softly along. "Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face. You told me how proud you were, but I walked away. If only I knew what I know today. Ohhh, ohhhh....."- ( https://youtu.be/0RYWViHBZg4?t=17s )
Covet: Felix was outback, doing some pooper scoopin around the yard. He looked over as Nugget was leaving a fresh one, right after he was taking care of the last pile. " Seriously... I just.. You little adorable shit." He said as he went to grab that one too and then put the bag in the outside trash and the scooper tool away. He walked into the house and towards the kitchen to wash his hands before he came over to Steph, listening to what she was working on.
Alexithymiaa: -She got a little more aggressive on the piano as she reached the bridge, her voice straining a bit to hit the notes she'd intended with the amount of power she'd written them for because Liz. "If I had just one more day I would tell you how much that I've missed you since you've been away. Oh, it's dangerous. It's so out of line to try to turn back time..." She let out a small cough and continued through the very end of the song much quietly, letting the keys trail off before she dropped her hands into her lap silently, staring at the sheet music as she debated the change she wanted to make.-
Covet: Felix smiled as she strained and grasped for the high notes but just couldn't quite get there. " Soo close Red, but I think that Liz chick will be able to take that and make it hit where it's supposed to. So you're right on the money with it." He said resting his hands on her shoulders rubbing along them and her neck.
Alexithymiaa: -She let out a sigh, tipping her head up and back to lean against his stomach as she looked at him. "Yeah, but if it doesn't sound good when I sing it for her, she might not be interested in it in the first place. So do I cater it to my voice or do I just sound shitty when I demo it for her?"-
Covet: "Well, can you done that thing where you sing the same note but lower? She knows what she's doing so she knows how she can change it to suit her. And she's probably going to do her own riffs in it. So cater it to your voice." Felix told her with an encouraging muscle squeeze
Alexithymiaa: "Babe, if it's lower, it's not really the same note...." She said, beginning to laugh at him. "I guess I could make it a little lower just for the demo and then encourage her to sing it at the note she's comfortable and adjust it for her..." She trailed off, grabbing the pencil from the stand and adjusting some of the notes. "Did you clean up outside?"-
Covet: "Yeah it is, kinda, because like.. this one is C" He said hitting a key, that he just assumed was C, he doesn't know Piano, "And this same one here, is also C." He said struggling to get the same key lower on the piano. "Yes I cleaned up outside. The yard is clean enough a baby could roll through the grass, which is more than the park can say."
Alexithymiaa: "You know what I meant." She grumbled as he guessed at the notes, swiveling on the stool to face him a bit easier without craning her neck. "Good. Aw... the park. I miss the park. I used to go running in the park. It was nice...."-
Covet: "And you know what I mean." He said sticking out his tongue as she turned around. "We can go tomorrow for our walk. We can put a helmet on you and I can try to run with you?" He suggested.
Alexithymiaa: -She narrowed her eyes on him, letting out a huff and crossing her arms over her chest. "The speed at which I travel was not really the appeal of running through the park, but it would be nice to actually just go and wa- roll around. I'm sure the dogs will love it."-
Covet: "I know what the point of it was for you." He said with a slightly more serious tone to his voice, "But I figured feeling the breeze on your face and that forward motion might be enough." Felix said with a shrug. " We can take a ball or something for them, and we can laugh at Nugget trying to keep up with Penny."
Alexithymiaa: -She lowered her eyes when she heard his tone, feeling a little guilty. "It would be nice. We should go." She forced, trying to be a little bit more upbeat and positive. "I'm sick of just... being in the house and our immediate area. Being at the parade Tuesday just reminded me of how much there is going on in Portland. I want to get out more."-
Covet: "I was ready for that last week, is the chair going to be an issue where we go?" Felix asked cause he knew she was having an issue with that too. "I mean, how many people at the parade, gave you any sort of grief over it, or treated you in a negative way? Had any of them done so, they'd have had an issue with me too." He told her with a smile.
Alexithymiaa: "Well.... no one said anything, but no one ever actually says things to people in wheelchairs. It's more the looks... and the fact that they're looked down upon. It's just this weird stigma that comes with it. You wouldn't-" She cut herself off, biting down on her tongue. "Nevermind."-
Covet: Felix listened to her nodding his head giving a soft smile as she caught herself with her foot in her mouth. "I wouldn't understand to an extent, sure, but I also understand more than anyone else you know. So.. when I tell you that, there are fewer looks than you think, and you don't owe those that stare a damn thing. The more you own it, the less they can use it against you. You're injured. You're no less human than they are. And besides if you were getting looks at the parade, is was jealous looks because you won't be as exhausted as they all were the next day." He said with a laugh.
Covet: *a damn thing, I hope you believe me.
Alexithymiaa: -She pursed her lips, giving him a shrug. "I don't know, I think Bryan understands more than anyone else I know. He doesn't even wear shorts when it's hot out anymore." She moved her hand to her face, brushing away her hair. "I guess I don't know how to own it. You're a lot better at that than I am. What am I supposed to do, learn wheelchair tricks?"-
Covet: "In regards to walking.. sure. But remember I've had my disability, my whole life... and have had people staring at me for it since I was nine. So I've got you both beat." He told her then laughed, "No, I mean.. that'd be cool, but I don't think your doctor would be any more happy about that. You're already slowly starting to do what you need to, to own it. Don't let this stop you from leaving the house. You've been to Warped tour, to Pride, we're going to the park tomorrow... I'm pretty sure that's a lot of you not staying at the house."
Alexithymiaa: "Yes, but-" She jumped when Harley landed on the top of the piano from the railing, giving the cat a look before turning back to Felix. "I don't like how sedentary I am. It makes me really uncomfortable. At least if I'm not just sitting inside, it makes me feel like I'm not. It's something I've been struggling with for the last couple of weeks and it's the only thing that's not getting any easier."-
Covet: "That's because you've rare been sedentary. Which is why I think this is kind of a good thing for you. I'm not saying you shouldn't be out and about. because that's healthy, to want to go to events, and be just another member of society, that's healthy. But running youreslf literally half to death. That's not healthy. I'm hoping that maybe this being tied down thing can help balance you a little bit. It's humbling and helpful ,and sometimes, even the best of us need to have that in their lives for a little bit." Felix told her with a shrug.
Covet: *rarely
Alexithymiaa: "But do you know what I'm going to turn into from sitting on my ass all day everyday?" She said with clear distress in her voice and on her face, her hands roughly moving across the front of her shirt.-
Covet: "I think I just said what you're going to turn into. A balanced, humble, amazing, chill, awesome girlfriend." Felix said looking at her, with a face that said, 'are you even listening'.
Alexithymiaa: -She dropped her hands to her sides, giving him a very unamused look in response to his look. "That's not what I mean...." She dropped her chin, her eyes focusing down on her knee. "Nevermind. Can you help me back into the room so I can change for bed?"-
Covet: "No. I know what you mean. My response was a testament to how much that doesn't matter to me. And the fact that you say that like I would have a problem with you looking a healthy as you feel... kind of annoys me. Especially considering that is the goal we've been working towards this whole time. Just another reason I approve of the chair situation right now. As much of an asshole as that makes me sound." He added to the end of his stantment, before he nodded and went to pick her up so he could take her to the bedroom.
Alexithymiaa: "Being comfortable is the goal, not forcing me to be something or someone that bothers me." She looped her arm around his neck, leaning into him as he carried her into the bedroom. "I don't feel healthy. People that are active are healthy, too. In most situations, people not doing any physical activity at all is considered unhealthy. The point is balance and I don't have that right now. So no, being forced to sit all day isn't helping."-
Covet: "Well then it's got to be a great comfort to you that it's temporary and you can be up and getting active soon, yes?" Felix asked her, trying to be patient with her as he sat her down on the bed. "You've got your physical therapy coming up, and you aren't completely inactive. You want to be acitive, you have exercises you're allowed to do." He said going to his dresser to pull out one of his shirts, setting it on the bed for her. "What else do you need tonight?"
Alexithymiaa: "I wouldn't consider pointing and flexing my toes to be exercise..." She said in monotone, looking at the t-shirt he set down. She pulled her left foot into her lap, unlacing her shoe and removing her boot before sort of gesturing to her right foot. "Just help getting that off."-
Covet: Felix gave her a shrug, "It's not about what you consider it, it's about what the doctor considers it to be, and it's what you're allowed to do, so take it or leave it Red." He said as he leaned down to help her get her boot off as carefully as possible.
Alexithymiaa: "Okay...." She pursed her lips, trying not to grow frustrated with him as she watched him remove her shoe. "Guess my life is just shit out of luck then." She mumbled, tugging her shirt off over her head and reaching for the t-shirt to slip into. She carefully undid her pants, wiggling them down most of the way before carefully pulling them off and sort of just letting them drop to the floor because she didn't care.-
Covet: "Temporarily. Sorry you can't do everything you want when you want right now, but what good is bitching about it doing you?" Felix asked her, going over to pick up her clothes putting them in proper places because that is his life right now. "Text me, or yell loudly if you need something, I'm going to be in the office organizing some photos for a little bit, I'm not all that tired right now."
Alexithymiaa: "Absolutely nothing." She said sort of out of spite because she was irritated. She hastily yanked the blanket up to her head, rolling over onto her side away from him to stare at Alfred who was already stretched out and watching her. Cats, bro.-
Covet: "Point." Felix said as he hit the lights and made his way to the office to go listen to tunes and chill out.