Swap AU

from /hhg/ Helluva Hotel General #927, #928, #929
-------
h ttps://twitter.com/Riux_xxx/status/1463069343449636867
-
h ttps://twitter.com/LobsterRik/status/1463147963295973383
-
>"Swap" AU
>really, everything's the same
>Blitzo runs an assassination business, and his life is a fucking mess
>he still offers up his body for sex for Stolas' grimoire - HOWEVER, this time around, Stolas actually had the galls (or common sense, depending on who you ask) to talk to Stella about the whole thing, rather than just outright sleeping with the imp
>Stella's disgusted and disturbed, but curious
>she OKs Stolas and Blitzo's arrangement, but, being the brains of the family, stipulates that Blitzo gives access to his business' fiscal records, gives a by-monthly report on anything that occurred (including any encounters with Eathly authorities), and sees to it that the imp properly pays his employees, and not splurges it on bullshit
>Blitzo, of course, hates the whole arrangement, but given that the other alternative is getting arrested for trying to steal Stolas' grimorie, he begrudgingly agrees
>Moxxie and Millie are happy with it (especially Moxxie, since this guarantees that they won't get screwed out of a paycheck because of Blitzo's impulsiveness)
>Loona doesn't care... Until she gets her first paycheck
>then she starts to see the sunny side of it

>Verosika and Barb are released from rehab, with the former resuming her career (until her encounter with Blitzo), while the latter does oddjobs
>eventually, she's hired to steal something from the Goetia estate
>accidentally stumbles into Stella, who mistakes her for Blitzo
>since Stolas and Octavia are having their day out in Loo Loo Land, she allows curiosity to get the better of her...
>...and invites Barb to the bedroom
>dumbfounded, the impette complies

>what follows is several hours of mind-blowing sex
>by the time Barb leaves (empty handed and dizzy with emotions... and from dehydration), Stella is panting and exhausted, feeling more satisfied than she did in years
>that's how Stolas finds her
-
>their liaison continues in parallel to Stolas' and Blitzo's, with Stella retaining a firm grip on the imp to ensure that he isn't being too reckless with the grimoire
>after the incident with Verosika, however, she decides to kick thing up a notch
>"requesting their presence" to their estate, both imp and succubus find themselves before the Goetians
>having been tipped off by Barb about their past relationship (and how it ended), Stella (after consulting with Stolas, but never mentioning her source), confronts both underlings about the whole affair
>they agree to cover up the incident, for both parties, however, the "vice will tighten": Blitzo is forced to suspend his business for some time, and is made Stolas' bodyguard (with Millie, Moxxie and Loona employed as Octavia's combat trainer, music tutor, and guard, respectively for the time being), whilst Verosika is forced to continue her rehab until full recovery - suspending her tour, though she's still allowed to record songs in-studio
>the two grumble with disagreement, but the Prince promptly reminds them that the whole mess is their own fault - Blitzo violated Stella's stipules regarding the usage of the grimorie, and Verosika's alcoholism had caused a serious incident, with both skirting VERY close to breaching the Agreement between Heaven and Hell
>he also encourages them to try to make up after the whole ordeal, and talk to each other about it - his honesty towards Stella, and the positive response was enlightening to him, and learning of their past tryst, he had began to suspect that Blitzo's sitting on some serious personal isses

>by the time of the Harvest Moon festival, I.M.P. had largely ingratiated themselves into the Goetia household
>Octavia enjoys sparring with Millie, and finds Moxxie's advice helpful (if he himself is a bit stuffy)
>she also loves hanging out with Loona, and the two had occasionally snuck out to hang with Vortex and company
-
>Blitzo, while officially Stolas' bodyguard, is, in effect, the stable boy (after they realize his borderline obsession with horses, Stella decides to Occam's razor the whole thing, and just gets some horses for him to take care of)
>the only time he's actually guarding Stolas is when the entire company goes down to Wrath for the Harvest Moon event
>Moxxie and Millie stay with Millie's parents (who are a tad more impressed with Moxxie, now that he has a job with royalty, but even so, they question Millie's choices), whilst Loona and Blitzo stay with the Goetias
>Barb is also invited, now hired by Stella to be an additional guard for them - the impette agrees, since the Princess pays well, and the sex on the side takes the edge off of things (gives her less reason to drink, for once)
>Striker is still there, however, this time, acting out of his own volition
>he humiliates Moxxie (as per usual), and finds Blitzo to be his equal... But is shown up by Octavia during the singing, who outperforms him, surprising everyone
>she does so after she has enough of the imp dissing Moxxie, but what was supposed to be a half-hearted musical comeback blossoms into a full-on performance that stuns the onlookers
>embarrassed, she slinks away, leaving Striker momentarily out of his element
>Stolas and Moxxie are immensely proud of her, which leads to Millie's family appreciating the latter a bit more...
>...however, the incident also makes Octavia Striker's primary target in his assassination attempt that night
>the event play out similarly as they did in the episode, however, upon escaping, Striker encounters Barb and Stella, with the former promptly handing him his ass, while the latter binds him with magic
>one explanation to Stolas later the would-be terrorist is turned into a new garden feature for the Goetia estate by an irate owl

>still, the night leaves both Blitzo and Barb full of questions
-
>after the Harvest Moon festival, Blitzo is allowed to have the grimoire again, and I.M.P. resumes their business
>at the same time, Stolas is introduced to Barb as well, and finally realizes his wife's affair - however, instead of being angry, he's practically ecstatic, needling Stella with questions, trying to compare Barb's performance in the bed with Blitzo's
>the good reception arguably feels worse than anything else Stella expected, but she welcomes the lack of drama - and it forces her to examine her own affair as well, along with herself - seems she's no different from Stolas, after all
>the chance encounter with C.H.E.R.U.B., however, has the entire team on high alert, and not just because of Loopty Goopty
>however, the expect reprimand from Stella is amiss, and they're even commended for bringing down three of God's agents

>this, perhaps, goes into the team's head, as their carelessness afterwards would lead to Moxxie and Blitzo being captured by D.H.O.R.K.S.
>this time around, however, it isn't just Millie and Loona who's there to rescue them - Stolas and Stella have also been alerted, and the Goetians waste no time
>while the boys still go through the truth-serum induced introspection, and the girls kick ass, it is Barb who brings them all together, and after a brief moment of shock from Blitzo, the cinquet sets about turning the agents into a fine red mist
>Agent 1 and 2 tries to escape...
>...only to find themselves facing a disappointed Stolas and Stella
>this time around, there's no mercy, and Stella makes sure that whatever evidence the agency had is destroyed - pretty much the entire building is leveled, with all communications and data wiped from the system
>as this is induced by arcane means, there's no way to hack it, or recover the information
>with D.H.O.R.K.S. wiped out, and Barb officially rejoining her brother, the gang returns home
--------
h ttps://twitter.com/LobsterRik/status/1463147963295973383
-
Nice.