Anon in Saddle Arabia's pony prison - Prologue

Jul 28th, 2015
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  1. <Look at you, you poor, poor little thing
  2. <Locked up in a jail cell, all alone with no one around...
  3. <Well except for that box and-
  4. “HE’S NOT A BOX”
  5. <Okay, okay, Jesus calm down man, okay let me get back at what I was saying
  6. “Go on”
  7. <Locked up in a jail cell, all alo- With your square-shaped friend and nothing to eat except chocolate ice cream and cookies
  8. <Why are you complaining again?
  9. “I wanted vanilla ice cream…”
  10. >The narrator turns to the audience
  11. <Would you like to know how Anon got into this situation?
  12. <When shit got serious enough to have him put in prison?
  13. <Why I am asking all these questions?
  14. <What’s up with Anon’s box?
  15. “IT’S NOT A-“
  16. <All of this begins a few days ago…
  17. >...
  18. >The scene shifts from the prison to a tree in the jungle
  19. >A little bug is eating a leaf on the tree
  20. >Suddenly, a monkey appears and eats the bug
  21. >…
  22. <Wrong scene, sorry guys
  23. >The scene changes into a mouse running from a cat
  24. <OH, OH, This is my favorite show! ….but it’s not time for this
  25. <I’m not going to lie, I’m changing scenes with a controller, so let me choose the right one this time...
  26. <Okay let’s see… this one not, this one either, yadda… yadda…
  27. >The scene finally focuses in what appears to be a city in a desert
  28. <Oh here we are, now on with the previously scheduled program
  32. Be Anonymous, Master Sorcerer of the dark magics
  33. >Well not really, you are just a single human who is in a mystical place where magical creatures live
  34. >Dragons, minotaurs, unicorns and more, it’s like if you just woke up in a fictional world filled with badass creatures
  35. >...Or a cartoon show, because there were a few ponies
  36. >It’s been a few weeks since you appeared in this world with no explanation
  37. >You are in a place you call Gerudo Desert, but the ponies called it Saddle Arabia
  38. >What are you doing here? Just adventuring, trying to figure out how to get back to your dimension
  39. >In the meanwhile, you’re also being a tourist
  40. >Every pony is always so kind to you, not giving a shit about you being an exotic new creature
  41. >It’s that, or you looked like an evolution of a minotaur
  42. >The best possible evolution, of course
  43. >You move to a building with a pyramid like look
  44. >Looks pretty good, too bad you don’t have a camera with you
  45. >You see two horses trying to lift some goods
  46. >Might as well help them, because why not? If everyone is kind, why not you?
  47. >You approach and say your greetings
  48. >”Quick you dumb head, or we’ll be late for the boss’s pla-“
  49. “Hello there, you guys look like need some help”
  50. >”O-oh hi stranger! N-No, we are OKAY! We will just do it by ourselves!”
  51. >Suspicious...
  52. >The pony starts breathing faster and faster
  53. “Nah don’t be like that, I can carry triple what you guys are carrying”
  54. >The other pony starts sweating heavily
  55. >”No, no, no, no! We are fine! Just go away please”
  56. “Nonsense, I’ll help you at least with one…”
  57. >”Oh for Celestia’s sake…”
  58. >You lift a box and… accidentally trip
  59. >With that, the goods in the box hit the ground
  60. >Well not much goods, just another box
  61. >A box in a box, just as weird as it sounds
  62. >You quickly pick up the larger box again
  63. “Ugh, sorry for that guys, It was an accident, I’ll just put this ba…”
  64. >You look at what appears to be a box with a clock on it and some wires, red, blue and yellow
  65. >This looks exactly like a bomb!
  66. >...If the clock wasn’t drawn with crayons and the wires weren’t made from paper
  67. >The ponies start yelling things in a language you don’t understand
  68. >The left pony picks up a radio and starts yelling
  69. >”Our cover has been blown! I repeat our cover has been blown!
  70. >His radio crackles to life
  71. >”Do whatever you can to get the packages; I don’t care if you hurt someone!”
  72. >The pony nods
  73. >”Roger that”
  74. >And with that, the two ponies grab two balloons and then inflate them
  75. >Within seconds, they each have a balloon sword
  76. “...What?”
  77. >”Gives us back the package or suffer our wrath!”
  78. >You smirk
  79. “Okay, okay, I’ll play your game”
  80. >You carefully put the ‘bomb’ inside the box in your arms
  81. >”Now put it on the ground!”
  82. “Let me think about it…”
  83. “…”
  84. “Nah, I’ll keep it, maybe the authorities would like to see it”
  85. >You say, joking, maybe these two are clowns
  86. >”Don’t you DARE”
  87. >And with that you quickly turn the opposite direction, running with the box in your hands
  88. “Now where are the-“
  89. >”GUARDS, THIEF!”
  90. “Okay, this… isn’t going to end well”
  91. >Three guards appear of nowhere and yell at you
  93. >Almost cornered by the 3 guards and the 2 suspicious ponies, you see a weak point in their defences
  94. >A field with a well-manicured lawn and filled with beautiful flowers
  95. >You quickly sprint through the open area
  97. <Oh so that’s why they weren’t walking here
  98. <Wait, why is there grass in a desert?
  99. “Hell, if I know”
  100. >No time for questions like that now, you need to find a way to escape!
  101. >Think, think, think!
  102. >…
  103. >There!
  104. >A cart! Your escape!
  105. >And with that, you jump into the cart…
  106. >Nothing happens
  107. >Well, this cart doesn’t work without a horse pulling it…
  108. >Wait, there is a way to get this thing going!
  109. >With what you learned from The Flintstones, you pick up the cart and start running with it
  110. >”HEY! THAT’S MY CART!”
  111. “I’ll give it back later!”
  112. >”He’s a double thief! Stop him!”
  114. >While you weren’t paying attention to the road, a hill suddenly appeared
  115. >You turn back to the road just in time to retract your legs
  117. >The cart speeds up faster and faster as it careens down the massive hill
  118. >Without someone pulling the cart, there’s no way to steer as you plummet down the hill
  119. >A pony pulling a cart full of lettuces spots you just in time to escape from his harness and dive out of the way...
  120. >Leaving his cart behind, right in the middle of the road
  121. >Brace for impact!
  122. >With god like speed, the carts collide
  123. >You are thrown from the cart amid a rain of edible leaves
  125. >You land hard, knocking the wind out of you
  126. “Did someone write down the license plate of that car….? Ugh…”
  127. >Your vision fades as you slowly feel unconsciousness swallow you
  128. >Even as you clutch the box in your hands
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