One Lark Does not a Summer Make [Lyra thread]

>Tfw you'll never go on a swashbuckling pirate adventure with Lyra over the summer.
>You'll never get matching hats, her cutiemark on yours, and your hand print on hers.
>You'll never be amused when her fur gets slightly lighter from the constant beating down of the sun, and her you for that darker tan.
>You'll never raid and pillage Bon-bon's shop for you favorite candies.
>You'll never bury the rest for later, drawing a crude map with crayons.
>You'll never be large and in charge, in the main river going down Ponyville with the raft you two built together.
>You'll never be embarrassed when Lyra uses one of your boxers as a pirate flag, but put up with it because you love her.
>You'll never try Bon's Patience, pilfering her goods a second time.
>You'll never beg for mercy with Lyra when Bon comes and sinks your raft by launching bowling balls.
>You'll never sink with your ship, your loyal Mint Navigator by you side.
>You'll never be saved by the enemy.
>You'll never be kept a prisoner to remake all the candy you stole over a whole weekend.
___

>You nudge Lyra with the side of your lower leg, as you begin wrapping your second tray of little hard confectioneries.
>She looks up at you, her poor face screaming boredom.
>Though her head cocks in confusion when she notices you're not sporting the same look.
>With a quick glance over your shoulder, you smirk, and pull a paper airplane into view, made with some of the wax paper used as a platform to cool small horse chocolates from.
>The mare frowns at you, confusion growing on her features.
>...
>Right.
>Horses don't know what airplanes are.
>With a wink, you quickly turn around, Bons back turned towards you as she reads some stupid horse book.
>Tongue sticking out slightly, you focus, aim, and make the toss.
>Your smirk turns to horror as it veers off to the side, but it quickly gets knocked back on track by a golden aura.
>You give Lyra a thumbs up for her quick reflex.
>The plane strikes true and...
>IT GOT STUCK IN HER MANE.
>The both of you barely hold back a snicker and snap back around, choking on the sound.
>Even stifling you laughter, the small sound you make has Bon's glare piercing the back of both your heads.
>Your eyes water, and you're left biting both your upper and bottom lip closed in a desperate attempt not to laugh.
>Peering down at your best bud, Lyra is not doing much better, her little snoot scrunched.


>After a few seconds, you slowly peek back, Bon still keeping a close watch and-
>Fuck, its really lodged in there.
>You both stare at each other, still trying to fight off the laugh with a forced frown, and her looking more pissed by the second.
>You give a lopsided smile to her, as you continue to fight down the laughter.
>Then you hear a mix of little horse nickering, and almost pained laughter.
>NO!
>You lose it too, collapsing on the floor with Lyra.
>Bon decidedly doesn't care why you're laughing but you spend the entire next weekend polishing every jar in her candy shop.
___

>It's another summer weekend, and you're laying in the shade of a tree with your best pal, half nestled in your lap.
>It seems to be even hotter than usual today.
>Even in just a tank-top and shorts, you're sweating your ass off.
>Lyra has that weird foamy horse sweat thing going on.
>Kind of gross, but so is regular sweat.
>She's definitely going to ask you to bathe her later.
>Weirdo.
>Someone should send it a complaint with the weather team or something.
>Still, you try not to let the weather get you down.
>You and Lyra both enjoying an ice cold blueberry smoothie.
>Singular
>You were out of the much-too-long line by the time you bumped into Lyra.
>"You know, Anon." She takes another sip as you hold the cup down to her. "I'm bored. Want to hang out with Bonnie?"
>You grunt and take a sip yourself.
"After the stuff she made us do these last two weekends?"
>"Yeah! That's her way of saying she wants us around."
>You frown and pause, before taking a sip before lowering your cup back down to her.
"I guess you know her more than I do."

>You get up, dusting off the odd of piece of grass, and make your way to Bonbon's shop.
>It's a quaint place.
>Rustic looking with hand- hoof-carved shelves, holding jars and jars of various candies. Four windows open with a nice breeze coming through.
>At the far end behind a counter, Bonnie is there with her head down, looking miserable.
>As soon as she makes eye contact with you, she shoots up straight, eyeing you both warily.
>"Hey, Bonnie we saved you a sip." Lyra, says in a singsong voice, levitating the cup over to her.
>Her nose scrunches, as she looks down at the empty cup.
"Hey. You stole the last bit!" You growl, leaning down to tickle Lyra. "You said we should save it for Bon."
>She laughs, wiggles, and squirms under your touch.
>"I-I" She chuckles. "I guess I-I'm a lyre."
>You fight to look upset, butt break down in laughter yourself.
>Bon-bon however, interrupts you two with a loud clearing of her throat.
>Turning back you see she's brandishing a broomstick, one that she's used many times before.
>And not for sweeping.
>You put your hands up in submission.
"It was her, I'm an innocent bystander." You say, pivoting on your foot to walk straight back out.
>You kick the bottom portion of the front door back shut with a leg.
>"Hey! Wait! Traitor!" Lyra says, trying to leap, and hoist herself over it, before getting pulled back in. "Bonnie- Wait!"
>You leave her to go stand in line for three more.

____

>Be Bon-Bon.
>You're wedged in-between two trouble makers sitting under a tree, drinking a banana shake.
>Your ears rotate which ever way, restless in the uncharacteristic silence between your companions.
>Those two are up to something.
>You know it.
>Even the way they're sitting is wrong.
>Lyra trying to mimic you, and Anon sitting with his legs curled up in front of them, hugging them close as he takes idle sips of his shake.
>Catching a glance Lyra's new weird friend makes down at you, you reflectively glare back.
>The hyoo-man's eyes dart away at a passerby, somehow losing interest despite being nestled up close to you like a foal to its mother.
>You snort, your tail swishing uncomfortably.
>Where did Lyra even find this thing?
>She drags it back from Celestia knows where and nopony asks any questions whatsoever.
>Hearing a snirk at your left, your head snaps to Lyra, who mimics the human in looking away.
>Sun above.
>You're almost sorry you accepted the shake.
"What are you two planning? You never sit around."
>"Sure we do!"
>"Yep," The human confirms with a grunt. "This is our scheming tree."

"Scheming tree?"
>The tall creature stands up on his hind legs and pulls something out of a hollowed knot in the tree.
>He nestles back down against you untying the scroll and laying it down for you.
>On it is a list of every evil little ploy they've done so far, as well as notes and little doodles from both owners scrawled next to the entry.
>There's a few they've already done, all crossed out.
>Rockband Adventure, Opposite day, Pirate Adventure, Candy heists, Robinhood at the School:Candy edition? You didn't hear about that.
>Continuing there's a few that aren't crossed out.
>Teepee the Ponyville Weather Offices, Wild West Adventure, Butt Contest, Rearrange the Princess's books...
>The list goes on from there.
"Should I be looking at this? I feel like this makes me liable for everything on this list."
>"Yeah," The human confirms, wiping some of his weird translucent sweat off his face with his foreleg. "We were actually hoping you'd pick out the next one."
>"Uhh-huhh. I like Anon and all but I miss hanging out with you. And Anon wants to be your close friend too."
>You look back to the human who seems to think the clouds are suddenly more interesting.
>"We've been meaning to invite you along and since you joined our pirate thing-"
"Stopped it."
>"Since you joined our pirate thing," Lyra repeats. "We think you're ready for some real action."
>Your muzzle scrunches.
>They were up to something.

>And you've had more action in a few hours then they've ever had! It was your job.
>Looking back to Anon, he avoids your look again, sipping at his shake.
>He's... You don't think you've ever thought of him as bashful.
>More like, stubborn, abrasive, and fickle.
>A lot like Lyra but amplified.
>Aggressively so in a way you think is dangerous, and certainly a bad influence on poor Lyra.
>You awkwardly fiddle with your front hooves, tail still swishing anxiously.
>...Maybe it wouldn't hurt to get to know him better.
>If Lyra likes him he can't be that bad.
>Sighing, you nip the hem of the scroll, and pull it towards you, nuzzling the rest open.
"Uhmm..." As you peer through the two beside you look to the paper too, barely containing their excitement.
>Maybe...
>No, you'd never live it down.
"I don't know. You guys pick something." You mumble sitting up to shuffle back, pressing your rump against the base of the tree.
>"Aww, common Bonnie."
>"Yeah, Bon. It's no fun if you're not super into it."
>Horseapples.
"What about this one?" You poke one entry with your hoof. "Get Ponk and Rainbowfag back? Did they do something to you guys?"

>The human and Lyra both huff at the same time.
>"Yeah. We got into ‘kind of a prank war with them," the human grumbles.
>"They got us good too, Bonnie."
>The human folds up his forelegs, frowning. "Told us it would be funny if we went around the market asking a bunch of ponies how to turn on an oven."
>"We tried to say it was a joke but nopony believed us- Bonnie?"
>They look to you in a mix of horror and betrayal as you try to reign in a fit of laughter.
>"Wasn't that funny," the human grumbles.
>After a minute or so of laughter, you wipe the tears from your eyes.
>You beam at them.
"What else did they do?"
>Anon frowns and sinks further. "Told us the world gullible isn't in the dictionary."
>No. They didn't.
>You study their faces, and sure enough, neither of them crack.
>Celestia, your friends are lovable idiots.
"Okay," You mumble pausing to think. "I think I have an idea."
>Anon's arms fall to his side. "Wait, you're actually in?"
You nod, smiling up at the human.
>"See, 'Non? I told you she'd be up for it."

>Lyra hops to her hooves, cantering around like a filly.
>"So what's it going to be, Bonnie? Are we going to infiltrate their homes and go super sneaky?"
>You recoil at that.
>That's hinting a bit too much for comfort.
>Lyra ends her little movement with a pounce, before diving into a clumsy roll.
>The human catches her with practiced ease, snatching Lyra up in his arms.
>"And and..."
>"Hide a steak behind their fridge?" the human finishes for her.
>Lyra shakes her head, wiggling around to get comfortable in his lap.
>"Piss off and starve a raccoon and hide it in their bathrooms? Replace vitamins with laxatives? Nut in their shampoo bottles everyday for the next month without telling them?"
>Lyra scrunches her muzzle in disgust and shakes her head.
>"That's gross. And the other two are mean, 'Non."
>...
>How did he even come up with those?
>No way his kind do stuff like that. They'd be fighting all the time.
>"Well, it's flawed from the start anyway." The human grunts, still sporting a frown. "How's a hooved animal supposed to be sneaky?"
>Ohh good. He didn't catch on.
>"I can always hear you coming a few meters away before you even knock on my door, little pony."

>He emphasizes his point by pressing one of his claws right on her muzzle.
>You didn't know they were that close.
>Oddly, Lyra laughs it off and barely reacts to it.
>Maybe touching muzzles isn't intimate for humans.
"To be fair, Anon. Somepony should put a bell on you. Pones wouldn't get so startled if you weren't taller than a minotaur and quieter than a cat when walking up to them. It's made even me jump a few times."
>Both of them look at you incredulously.
>"Is that why?" they both say at the same time.
>Your brow furrows.
"Of course, what did you think it was?"
>The look to each other.
>"Uhh. I thought ponies were spooked because I'm a dirty non-horse immigrant or something."
"What? No! Nopony would be that awful."
>The human reaches over messing up your mane with his claw, an oddly comforting gesture.
>Still, to think all these ponies, you included, made him feel that way.
>Would it be weird if you were a little more patient with him from now on?
>"I thought it was because Anon was so cool, ponies don't know how to approach him."
>Anon laughs, giving Lyra a- What do they call it?- Noogie?

>"You're just trying to butter me up, mare. What are you after?"
>"Nothing! Lemmie go!"
>"Nuhh-uhh. I bet you want something weird." He grunts, ticking her again, this time on her underside which has her twisting around with laughter.
>You snort and nudge anon's claw with your muzzle, which grabs his attention.
>Yep. It really isn't weird for them.
"Alright you two, let's get back on topic. Like I said, I might have an idea you two might like."
>You stand up and trot off towards your candy shop, hoping they'll follow without causing too much trouble.

>Be sporting a good scrape on your chin, and a scuffed up shirt.
>Your little buddy seems to be keeping weight off one of her legs.
>Bon-bon swishes her tail and looks like she's going to yell at Lye and you again.
>To your surprise she takes a deep breath and smiles.
>"Anon. Lyra. I turned around for a minute to open up shop. What happened?"
>Wow she sounds really calm.
>She must be so mad, she broke.
"A bit fell out of my pocket so I went to pick it up."
>"I jumped over him!"
"It turned into a game of leapfrog... For all of ten seconds."
>"'Non's too tall and heavy."
"And I face planted."
>The mare looks between you two and sighs, before stepping in.
>"Come on you two, I have a first aid kit in here somewhere."
>Aww shit, here we go agai- What?
>You crawl through the doorway cautiously, turning to pick up Lye, who limps into your arms with a sniffle.
>"It hurts 'Non."
>You nestle her in your arms and look down at her foreleg, turning your head to see every angle.
>If it's swollen it's barely noticeable, but these horses always tend to make a big deal about leg injuries.

>You've heard of pones with broken legs being too scared to even go outside and even doctors end up hospitalizing them if they get the chance.
"Hmmm. That little thing? It'll be good by tomorrow morning you little baby."
>Her sniffer scrunches.
>"I'm not a baby. W-whatever that means."
>You laugh at her expense and it does seem to cheer her up some.
>Good. This tiny horse isn't allowed to be sad.
>You stand up and continue following Bon into the kitchen.
>With Lye still pressed close to your chest, you sit on a too-small stool by a large metal table.
>Like, this thing takes up seventy-five percent of the room.
>Bon's butt waggles to-and-fro as she nuzzles through some junk under the sink.
>Some things clatter out. Little pans, molds, and-
>Is that a grappling hook?
>The mare seems to think nothing of it, popping her head out with a first aid box in her teeth.
"Bon, why do you have a grappling hook?"
>The mare, snaps her head back around to look at the object in question, and even Lyra straightens up a hair.
>"Well, you see..."
>Lyra chuckles anxiously.
>"'Non Earthponies don't have graspers like you or magic like I do."