Agent Andropov: Alright. Now, we have it on record that approximately three and a half hours ago, an intruder entered your containment chamber and fired a total of eleven shots at you, all of which hit. Is this correct?

SCP-7416: Veritably. It was hurtsome but far more importantly the assailant in question was violating a concerning amount of rules and guidelines. United States federal law—

Agent Andropov: —That will have to wait. Was this particular injury life-threatening to you?

SCP-7416: Negatory in conjunction with edict the whateverth of Spiff Code.